OAD feelings...

[spicysalmonroll]

Hello!

My son is 9 months so I'm still settling into mom life and hoping some of you who have older kids can share some words of wisdom.

DH & I are committed to OAD so this isn't an on the fence post. We both have absolutely no desire for another. For financial reasons, for traveling and lifestyle reasons, for simplicity & sanity reasons- all choices on our part (not anything beyond our control like IF). Yet every time a friend of mine announces that she's pregnant for the 2nd or 3rd time, it makes me question if there's something wrong with me for wanting no part of that. I see all these friends and think wow they are handling 2u2, 3u4 and they love it and I barely have the patience and anxiety for my one. Why am I not as "good" as them at being a mom? I must be not as good if I don't love it enough to do it again? Did you ever have feelings like this and any kind words to help me embrace that I'm not a horrible mom for not wanting more?

[spicysalmonroll]

Great points, thanks so much @misspeansmama, lildis,

[namastebiotches]

I'm probably the opposite. I don't assume those moms are good or better than I am. I usually don't feel any type of way when others announce they are pregnant other than pity. Lol if I'm being honest. I must be wired differently.
DS can be rather difficult so I often ask myself I wonder how those moms would do with my kid (or even my birth experience) & see if they would have another one. That is just my personal take on it. I know plenty of SN parents have more than one kid but almost 6 years of a variety of struggles can take a toll on your sanity.
I don't think I'm made to be a mom of more than one kid. I like one. One is good. I love watching him grow & getting more independent. It's finally getting easier. Why ruin it.

[helenahhandbasket]

Well, first I'd ask how you are sure if they are "loving" it or if they are just posting adorable pics of the few moments of the day that they don't feel nuts?

I have some friends that have taken to motherhood like a fish in water, some (like myself) not as quickly. I think of my friends that seem constantly overwhelmed by their kids and I can't help but to think for a fleeting moment that having more than one kid if you can barely handle one is a bad parenting move. (Fffc)

And still I so sometimes get twinges at pregnancy announcements but I don't get twinges really at the birth announcements. And I think for me only, I'm jealous at the excitement I remember feeling when I first got pregnant. I am not jealous of babyhood.

I admit that lately I'm riding the fence a bit more, but please don't think you are not a good mom because you only want one. You are a good mom that sounds like you know your limitations.

[namastebiotches]

Apr 28, 2017 10:57:44 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

I admit that lately I'm riding the fence a bit more, but please don't think you are not a good mom because you only want one. You are a good mom that sounds like you know your limitations.

[helenahhandbasket]

Lol namastebiotches