Post by grumpycakes on Apr 28, 2017 11:36:48 GMT -5
I POAS this morning before going away with DH because we threw caution to the wind a couple of weeks ago. Even though a tiny part of me was disappointed, a bigger part of me was happy because I want to drink All. The. Beer. this weekend.
Post by CurlieWhirlie on Apr 28, 2017 13:22:43 GMT -5
I confess that freezorburn 's OPUO post yesterday gave me a lot of feels. While I totally sympathize with how she is feeling in such a tough situation, I had to stop myself from arguing from the perspective of the ex and his gf.
MH's family still leaves me out of family emails and finds other ways to not include me, while remaining close with his ex. Some of them still see me as "the other woman", even though it has been many years since he and his ex split up and we are married and have a three year old. I am 100% on board with remaining close to the ex, of course she's a part of the family. But I am, too! I am a part of the family, I am not the evil stepmother, I am a mother in my own right, and this isn't a zero-sum game. It's awkward, but it shouldn't be an either-or proposition.
Obviously different situations, I'm just confessing the feelings that yesterday's post brought up for me.
Part of the reason I'm so sure we want another dog is my dad's insistence that it's a terrible idea. Pretty much every time he tells me not to do something, I turn around and do it.
Post by Crisco Salad on Apr 28, 2017 13:39:42 GMT -5
I was meeting with a big client of ours on Monday at my conference. A fart slipped out and I'm 99% sure that at least one of the three of them heard it.
I have a grapefruit for breakfast every morning. I keep the peel in the sink until mh is on his way home. I run it through the disposal shortly before he gets home. That way, at least the kitchen smells fresh, despite whether I did any cleaning that day or not.
I have a grapefruit for breakfast every morning. I keep the peel in the sink until mh is on his way home. I run it through the disposal shortly before he gets home. That way, at least the kitchen smells fresh, despite whether I did any cleaning that day or not.
We have a funeral to attend tomorrow morning, and one of my priorities has been making sure we all have cute outfits on to be a cute little family at this funeral. I always try to make sure we look cuter than ILs. You could say I am kind of a dick.
@milano. How about YH gets J and you are on M duty. I did something similar to what you described at thanksgiving and I wasn't happy. BM was sick. But still.
I confess that freezorburn 's OPUO post yesterday gave me a lot of feels. While I totally sympathize with how she is feeling in such a tough situation, I had to stop myself from arguing from the perspective of the ex and his gf.
MH's family still leaves me out of family emails and finds other ways to not include me, while remaining close with his ex. Some of them still see me as "the other woman", even though it has been many years since he and his ex split up and we are married and have a three year old. I am 100% on board with remaining close to the ex, of course she's a part of the family. But I am, too! I am a part of the family, I am not the evil stepmother, I am a mother in my own right, and this isn't a zero-sum game. It's awkward, but it shouldn't be an either-or proposition.
Obviously different situations, I'm just confessing the feelings that yesterday's post brought up for me.
*zips up flame suit*
Thank you for restraining yourself from arguing the ex's perspective -- it is a very different situation. And, that's also why I was very specific with my wording ... it's not just that she is his GF, for me the problem is primarily with the role she played in breaking up our marriage. -- Not letting the ex off the hook at all here, because he made poor choices too -- I think I would be pretty okay with anyone else in the world but this specific person.
So many times I'll type a post and then end up not posting, because I worry it might trigger someone, or I realize I'm expressing anger and bitterness and that's not really what I want to put out there. For some reason I couldn't stop myself yesterday. I haven't been in the healthiest of places lately, and I need to work on where and when I let off steam. So, sorry for that.
I'm sorry YH's family has been treating you poorly. This stuff is seriously hard. I know my XILs are struggling with this. They know their son was in the wrong but they don't want to lose him by rejecting his GF. So for the time being we are all compartmentalized. Because I cannot see myself ever voluntarily walking into the same room as her. But again, different situation. I hope they eventually come around.SaveSave
I confess that freezorburn 's OPUO post yesterday gave me a lot of feels. While I totally sympathize with how she is feeling in such a tough situation, I had to stop myself from arguing from the perspective of the ex and his gf.
MH's family still leaves me out of family emails and finds other ways to not include me, while remaining close with his ex. Some of them still see me as "the other woman", even though it has been many years since he and his ex split up and we are married and have a three year old. I am 100% on board with remaining close to the ex, of course she's a part of the family. But I am, too! I am a part of the family, I am not the evil stepmother, I am a mother in my own right, and this isn't a zero-sum game. It's awkward, but it shouldn't be an either-or proposition.
Obviously different situations, I'm just confessing the feelings that yesterday's post brought up for me.
*zips up flame suit*
Thank you for restraining yourself from arguing the ex's perspective -- it is a very different situation. And, that's also why I was very specific with my wording ... it's not just that she is his GF, for me the problem is primarily with the role she played in breaking up our marriage. -- Not letting the ex off the hook at all here, because he made poor choices too -- I think I would be pretty okay with anyone else in the world but this specific person.
So many times I'll type a post and then end up not posting, because I worry it might trigger someone, or I realize I'm expressing anger and bitterness and that's not really what I want to put out there. For some reason I couldn't stop myself yesterday. I haven't been in the healthiest of places lately, and I need to work on where and when I let off steam. So, sorry for that.
I'm sorry YH's family has been treating you poorly. This stuff is seriously hard. I know my XILs are struggling with this. They know their son was in the wrong but they don't want to lose him by rejecting his GF. So for the time being we are all compartmentalized. Because I cannot see myself ever voluntarily walking into the same room as her. But again, different situation. I hope they eventually come around.SaveSave
I do the same thing re: typing things and not posting, for fear of upsetting others. I know your situation is different, which is why I tried to qualify my reaction was about my own feelings about my personal situation. Ya know? You should always vent here. We got your back.
I agreed to go OOT to my IL's tomorrow, for a night. MH is excited but I really wish I wouldn't have agreed to it. Trying to pack up M's stuff, and J's, and mine, and the dogs' is overwhelming. And I'm thinking the only way the sleeping arrangements will work is J in bed with me and MH downstairs on the couch and M in the next room in a crib. Not ideal for me to be upstairs in a non-child proofed house with a toddler who wakes up and wanders in the motn.
Sigh.
MH and I are going to a fundraiser tomorrow night alone, which I should be excited about but my anxiety about the whole weekend is ruining that. ETA: maybe this isn't even a confession, I should have put it in randoms.
I forgot you are around there! I'm so curious as to where, I know people in many of the towns that are all around their town.... the chances are so high that you live in one of these towns that I'm familiar with. I'm pretty wide open on Sunday afternoon....
Thank you for restraining yourself from arguing the ex's perspective -- it is a very different situation. And, that's also why I was very specific with my wording ... it's not just that she is his GF, for me the problem is primarily with the role she played in breaking up our marriage. -- Not letting the ex off the hook at all here, because he made poor choices too -- I think I would be pretty okay with anyone else in the world but this specific person.
So many times I'll type a post and then end up not posting, because I worry it might trigger someone, or I realize I'm expressing anger and bitterness and that's not really what I want to put out there. For some reason I couldn't stop myself yesterday. I haven't been in the healthiest of places lately, and I need to work on where and when I let off steam. So, sorry for that.
I'm sorry YH's family has been treating you poorly. This stuff is seriously hard. I know my XILs are struggling with this. They know their son was in the wrong but they don't want to lose him by rejecting his GF. So for the time being we are all compartmentalized. Because I cannot see myself ever voluntarily walking into the same room as her. But again, different situation. I hope they eventually come around.SaveSave
I do the same thing re: typing things and not posting, for fear of upsetting others. I know your situation is different, which is why I tried to qualify my reaction was about my own feelings about my personal situation. Ya know? You should always vent here. We got your back.
Thanks .... I appreciate the sentiment.
It's tricky, how we can be triggered differently by virtue of having different roles around different circumstances, yet there is just enough similarity that we can see a bit of our own situations in each other's.
I'm not sure if I can vent without triggering someone else. Sometimes I wish I could, because I'm pretty sure my friends and my therapists are tired of hearing it. But I don't feel like this is the appropriate place to work that stuff out, especially since this is a place where many people are known to be struggling with triggers. And you just never know how a piece of a story is going to land, even if there is no intention of causing hurt. It just happens.
So I think I'm going to try to keep it light for a while.
Post by freezorburn on Apr 28, 2017 23:40:27 GMT -5
Why does Tapatalk get rid of all my paragraphs? There were 3 in that last post. I even went back and tried to put them in again, to no avail. Honestly.
Why does Tapatalk get rid of all my paragraphs? There were 3 in that last post. I even went back and tried to put them in again, to no avail. Honestly.
You can probably see them in web view. Tapatalk is terrible about formatting.
Why does Tapatalk get rid of all my paragraphs? There were 3 in that last post. I even went back and tried to put them in again, to no avail. Honestly.
You can probably see them in web view. Tapatalk is terrible about formatting.
I just feel badly for anyone who is trying to wade through my long posts.
I've been awake for almost 45 min and I'm still in bed b/c I don't feel like interacting with MH after our argument last night over the same stupid thing we always fight about.
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