May check in

[butlerfan]

We have had some intro's in the last month. Yeah!

Come in and update on any developments that have been happening ....or not happening.

QOTM: If you could have anyone play you for a story on your life what actor(actress) would you want to play you?

[butlerfan]

So while it seems like there had been improvements with our case...the last couple weeks have shown otherwise...parents aren't going to scheduled therapy appointments, they missed a scheduled event at FS's school, home life is chaotic like it was at beginning of this placement, FD got fed ketchup twice (can't have tomatoes) and her appointment not made to be tested yet, FD's diaper/pull up's not changed, etc.

H and I have been talking to the GAL and she is talking to the SW's about letting us get the kids into therapy since the parents aren't doing it....

Also, we have done 3 out of the 10 sessions of our Foundations training class...it's every Tuesday and Wednesday night....while it's beneficial to take it makes it hard currently since the parents have regressed backwards and we aren't around those 2 nights much. After this Wednesday though we are half way done with it so it will go quick. We also have 1 night of confidentiality training the last week of our Foundation's training but then by May 23rd all the required classes we need to have will be complete!!!!!

I am so counting down the days since we are getting classed out currently. Well, the stress of getting to class, dealing with the trauma with the kids, having friends watch kids while in class (and coordinating) all of that.

[lbey]

May already? that is going fast!

I am still waiting for SW to finish writing the darn home study (since December and that was just to update since my last home study was less than 2 years ago)

With our AD8, we had some hard moments this past month. I am very proud of my girl and how hard she has been working with therapies, at school, and at home. She works really hard and I see she does that because she likes to see me proud of her. Everytime I say I am proud of her, she has a big smile and her eyes shine!

Sometimes it feels like she is just tired of working hard and will regress and have behaviors of a terrible 2 year old. Those days are hard!

My mom is coming from Brazil for my daughter`s birthday this week. I have not seen her for over 5 years so I am very excited and happy. I just want to hug her...

We adopted a new little dog! her name is Cocoa, she is a 11 weeks old Chocolate Lab, and we all absolutely love her. Our home is complete with pets. We also foster litters and this month we have 8 beautiful puppies. They all got homes already and will go to the forever home on the 5th.

QOM: Without any doubt it is Rebel Wilson. No, I cannot sign, but she is funny and is able to make all the faces I make. She would represent me perfectly!

[spooko]

Nothing really new here but I'd definitely pick Emma Stone for myself. I love her look and may have tried to copy various hairstyles and colors with her headshot at the salon more than once.

[ceejay]

butlerfan - thanks for starting the check-in! Sounds like you guys are crazy busy lately! Hope things will settle down quickly for you once all the classes wrap up.

@coffeeismylyfe - hope everything goes smoothly as you finish up the licensing process. It's exciting that you guys have decided what kind of placements you want to accept!

lbey - sounds like you guys have a lot of good things going on right now! Congrats on your new puppy and hope your mom's visit goes well!

spooko - Hi! I like Emma Stone a lot too. Did you see La La Land?

[ceejay]

We don't have much to update. Things are just cruising along now. Everything feels so calm and less stressful after all the crap we went through with our former caseworker over the past 6 months. We have court next week for our baby (pre-trial for adjudication) and court in two weeks for our older two boys (pre-trial for TPR). Hopefully everything will go smoothly.

The boys are all doing well. The older two alternate between being adorable and sweet, and tantruming and arguing with each other. ha I think they are just at difficult ages right now (3.5 and 21 months) and hopefully they will get along better as they mature and grow. The baby is doing great - he's getting so big and is much less fussy now than he was as a newborn, so that's been nice. And he's started sleeping through the night sometimes ... yay!

QOTW: Maybe Mayim Bialik? I look a little bit like her and we're both scientists.

[spooko]

ceejay, No, unfortunately I can't quite recall the last time I watched a full-length movie. I don't seem to have the time or attention span these days. Too much multitasking!

[ceejay]

May 2, 2017 14:14:10 GMT -5 spooko said:

ceejay , No, unfortunately I can't quite recall the last time I watched a full-length movie. I don't seem to have the time or attention span these days. Too much multitasking!

I definitely understand! H and I went to see it for a date last year. It was the first movie I had seen in a theater in over a year!

[Deleted]

This is the month we adopt our little ones! It will not be until the very end of the month but we are anxiously counting down. We have a party planned for the weekend before since it's in the middle of the week and sent invites out last week. It is getting so close! I am going to take "maternity leave" this summer for 6-8 weeks. I haven't decided yet. I may be dying to go back after 6. We have also completed all the paperwork for our oldest so now we are just running out the clock on our mandatory waiting period before we can get a court date for his adoption. The bureaucratic logic of making us wait 3-6 months when he's lived with us for 1.5 years already is just mind numbing.

ETA: I'm not sure who I would want to play me. Maybe Jennifer Lawrence or Kristen Bell. I've been told a couple of times that I look like Sarah Chalke from Scrubs but I think that is a pretty big stretch.

[ceejay]

Congrats on the upcoming adoptions, @helgahufflepuff! So happy for you!!!

[butlerfan]

@helgahufflepuff congrats! I hope the days go quickly.

[redandblue]

Hey everyone! Sounds like lots of exciting things have been/are going on! GL to those with upcoming court and finalizing of Home studies!

So we had an interesting thing happen this past month. A little back story (for those who don't know the details). We adopted DS2 at birth in August 2015 through our local CAS. He is the third son from his birth mom, who unfortunately is not in a position to parent at this time. His two older siblings (6 and 8 yo) are adopted by the same family. They live about 8 hr away, but we are working at ensuring they have a relationship with each other. In January their mother (adoptive) passed away suddenly. A few weeks ago their father contacted us as he is updating his will. He has asked us to be the 'back up' guardians for the boys should anything happen to him and their uncle (who will be the guardian). I felt SO many emotions over this! My heart broke that he was in a place where he needs to take action and think about all the worse case scenarios. I also felt extremely touched that he asked us, and we absolutely said yes. The bigger picture for us is that we are so blessed to have these wonderful people now a part of our family, where we both value the same things for these boys.

Tl;dr we have been asked to be the guardians for DS2's siblings should anything happen to their father/uncle.

QOTM: that's an interesting one. I can't think of who would look like me, but I would love Tina Fey! I only wish I could be a cool as Kristen Bell! Maybe Katy Mixon (from Mike and Molly).

[pinkie]

May 2, 2017 14:07:16 GMT -5 ceejay said:

We don't have much to update. Things are just cruising along now. Everything feels so calm and less stressful after all the crap we went through with our former caseworker over the past 6 months. We have court next week for our baby (pre-trial for adjudication) and court in two weeks for our older two boys (pre-trial for TPR). Hopefully everything will go smoothly.

The boys are all doing well. The older two alternate between being adorable and sweet, and tantruming and arguing with each other. ha I think they are just at difficult ages right now (3.5 and 21 months) and hopefully they will get along better as they mature and grow. The baby is doing great - he's getting so big and is much less fussy now than he was as a newborn, so that's been nice. And he's started sleeping through the night sometimes ... yay!

QOTW: Maybe Mayim Bialik? I look a little bit like her and we're both scientists.

The ages your older kids are at were probably the toughest for us with our boys. They are 4 and 2.5 now and it's getting better

[mykidsgotcurls]

.

[Deleted]

I was looking on etsy for a sign for the boys to hold in pictures and using the search "adoption sign" there were nearly as many signs for adopting dogs and cats as there were for humans. I don't know if I find it offensive. I think no. Probably what bothers me more is people that would actually purchase something like that for their dog and that seems...excessive for getting a new pet. But I don't really share much at all on social media so I don't see the point.

[theatrepal]

TPR was two weeks ago! We had our first post placement visit and the second is scheduled. We hope to finalize in June!

I've been enjoying being home with DD and the thought of going back to work stinks.

[chele]

I actually have an update! The two sisters we are fostering are finally going to live with their dad in another state. They leave in eight days, but who's counting

We have been fostering them since they were 4 and 8. Now they are 7 and 11. Three years is way too long to be in foster care for a reunification situation. Case was not handled well at all. I hope the girls have a good life and we can stay a part of it somehow.

We will take a break after they leave and then re-open and accept respite placements, and then wait until we get a call for a child or sibling pair that has been tpr'd or is legal risk.

[akafred]

May 2, 2017 5:38:57 GMT -5 lbey said:

May already? that is going fast!

I am still waiting for SW to finish writing the darn home study (since December and that was just to update since my last home study was less than 2 years ago)

With our AD8, we had some hard moments this past month. I am very proud of my girl and how hard she has been working with therapies, at school, and at home. She works really hard and I see she does that because she likes to see me proud of her. Everytime I say I am proud of her, she has a big smile and her eyes shine!

Sometimes it feels like she is just tired of working hard and will regress and have behaviors of a terrible 2 year old. Those days are hard!

My mom is coming from Brazil for my daughter`s birthday this week. I have not seen her for over 5 years so I am very excited and happy. I just want to hug her...

We adopted a new little dog! her name is Cocoa, she is a 11 weeks old Chocolate Lab, and we all absolutely love her. Our home is complete with pets. We also foster litters and this month we have 8 beautiful puppies. They all got homes already and will go to the forever home on the 5th.

QOM: Without any doubt it is Rebel Wilson. No, I cannot sign, but she is funny and is able to make all the faces I make. She would represent me perfectly!

When DD was placed with us, we teamed up with a veteran foster mom in our area to have her watch DD for 6 weeks. She ended up getting the entire stipend check but it was legal and worked out great. Is that an option?

Also this is no guarantee but I literally don't know anyone placed with a newborn in my area who didn't end up adopting. Granted idk a lot of folks here, but quite a few from our classes and a few others here and there and every case hit adoption.

[akafred]

May 4, 2017 22:30:04 GMT -5 chele said:

I actually have an update! The two sisters we are fostering are finally going to live with their dad in another state. They leave in eight days, but who's counting

We have been fostering them since they were 4 and 8. Now they are 7 and 11. Three years is way too long to be in foster care for a reunification situation. Case was not handled well at all. I hope the girls have a good life and we can stay a part of it somehow.

We will take a break after they leave and then re-open and accept respite placements, and then wait until we get a call for a child or sibling pair that has been tpr'd or is legal risk.

Omg, how tough on everyone! I'm so sorry.

[akafred]

No updates from me and I don't have a clue on actresses lol. Just wanted to cheer everyone on.

[chele]

@coffeeismylyfe
What about the actress who plays Felicity Smoak in The Arrow?

[ceejay]

chele - I'm so glad to see you have an update this month and will be thinking of you and your girls as they transition to living with their dad. It's so sad that it took 3 years for the case to reach permanency; props to you for being there for them for all of that time, and I hope you're able to stay in contact and be present in their lives going forward. I hope your break is restful and enjoyable and that you won't have to wait to long for a new placement that will lead to adoption!

[lobster]

We are still just waiting on our Home Study to be finalized. We had another visit this week, so I'm hoping we'll hear something next week.

[akafred]

May 5, 2017 7:42:49 GMT -5 @coffeeismylyfe said:

May 5, 2017 6:37:29 GMT -5 akafred said:

When DD was placed with us, we teamed up with a veteran foster mom in our area to have her watch DD for 6 weeks. She ended up getting the entire stipend check but it was legal and worked out great. Is that an option?

Also this is no guarantee but I literally don't know anyone placed with a newborn in my area who didn't end up adopting. Granted idk a lot of folks here, but quite a few from our classes and a few others here and there and every case hit adoption.

I think maybe you meant to quote me?

Childcare is difficult in general with my job because of how my schedule works. I don't always know if I'm going in or where until the night before. It's less about finding a state pay daycare and more about trying to find a place that could accommodate my essentially drop in schedule. Currently my family watches my boys, but they are not comfortable taking on more than my two, even if we had another bio kid we would be in the same situation.

It just feels like the best long-term situation would be to have me sah, so it's coming down the pipe anyway. It's just harder than I expected it to be to say goodbye.

As far as the adoption piece goes, idk. Maybe "highest rate of reunification" is just still not a high rate?? Our ideal situation is to love on an awesome squishy newborn, help the bio family get back on their feet, and then reunite them as they ride off into the sunset. Buuut we all know how freaking far all of this adventure is from "ideal." We are not opposed to adoption if it becomes an option. It would definitely be part of our discussion to find a kid permanancy, but it's not our end goal going in if that makes sense.

I guess my point is to try to find a few SAHP fp's who could potentially provide short term child care while you find an opening or wait for a newborn to reach 6 weeks.

[durham1008]

I don't really have any updates. Our first home visit will be on the 16th. We're working on rearranging things (like moving my desk/vanity out of the nursery). I'd been feeling so positive lately and then tonight I completely freaked out because the crib mattress cover got caught in the agitator when I washed it.

[chele]

May 5, 2017 10:04:24 GMT -5 ceejay said:

chele - I'm so glad to see you have an update this month and will be thinking of you and your girls as they transition to living with their dad. It's so sad that it took 3 years for the case to reach permanency; props to you for being there for them for all of that time, and I hope you're able to stay in contact and be present in their lives going forward. I hope your break is restful and enjoyable and that you won't have to wait to long for a new placement that will lead to adoption!

Just reading this now. So sweet of you, just what I needed to read tonight! Thank you, ceejay

[wesleycrusher]

DD

[Captain Serious]

Nothing new for me to report. We haven't heard from the court since we entered our motion for interested party status, even though I'm fairly certain they had one of their required 6-month hearings in March. We also wrote a really detailed letter explaining our position to the GAL and copied the district attorney, but never heard anything back. We think they will just ignore our petition until she ages out in two years.

Fostering is still indefinitely on hold. We said we'd reconsider in a year.

M and J are great, though, and fully living through their teen and tween years, complete with all that implies!

[butlerfan]

[/quote]Good luck!

[butlerfan]

So our visitation schedule may have to change....I know bio mom's schedule and it impacts a couple of the visit days and bio dad is still figuring out when he starts and based on where he is working his schedule will impact visits as well.

I just wish the SW would do their jobs and get this figured out so we can plan.