PGAL Check-in Week of 5/15

[sarahh]

Anyone interested in this? I know there are quite a lot of us that have had prior losses and are really anxious about our current pregnancies.  I'm not sure what questions to put down, so feel free to follow or not follow what I put below.

How far along are you?

How are you physically/emotionally?

Any concerns/questions?

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet?

[sarahh]

How far along are you? 7w2d

How are you physically/emotionally? Physically - symptoms are not consistent day by day. Emotionally - this is causing PGAL brain to go into overdrive. My last loss, the first ultrasound at 7 weeks showed a baby with a heartbeat measuring 6 weeks. I didn't make it quite to my 9 week appointment before I started bleeding. I am trying to think positively for this one because my 6.5 week ultrasound measured right on track. I think if I can get through my 8w ultrasound on Tuesday I will hopefully feel a little more positive.

Any concerns/questions? Any concern I've had I've googled which is not helping. Nothing I can think of right now though!

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet? Nope not at all. See comments above.

[ironbaby]

Thank you for starting this, sarahh.

How far along are you?
6 weeks today

How are you physically/emotionally?
I feel pretty much nothing physically. I know it's still early for symptoms, but I wish I had something concrete. I can pretty much explain away anything.

Any concerns/questions?
When do symptoms really start kicking in to full swing?

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet?
Not even a little bit. I feel like I am playing the role of someone who is pregnant, but I haven't started believing it yet. I hope our US on Monday goes well so it will start sinking in.

[ironbaby]

Dupe post. Oops.

[sarahh]

I just wrote a long response and it disappeared.

ironbaby, fx for a good ultrasound on Monday! I had cramps initially that have since gone away. My boobs started hurting about a week ago and I really only noticed because DD sat on them. Some people have no symptoms so who knows.

[maddisonrose]

sarahh, I hate that these weeks are hard for you. Sending you all the positive and relaxation vibes and that Tuesday comes fast and with positive results/

ironbaby, this is me exactly. I hate the symptom spotting game when no pregnancies are the same symptom wise. FX for a great ultrasound and some peace of mind

[maddisonrose]

How far along are you? 6 weeks

How are you physically/emotionally?
-Physically i'm fine which is perpetuating my emotional meltdowns. I know it's still super early but I don't have any morning sickness yet or anything besides fatigue. I want to be so exited about this baby and I want to start thinking about our future but I just feel the need to protect myself. I also know that I don't want to spend these next 9 months ruled by fear.

Any concerns/questions?
-not really besides the obvious "why can't this just be a sure thing"

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet?
-Not quite yet. Maybe once I have an ultrasound. There are moments in time when it's a bit more real and my mind starts to picture what it will be like to have 2 children, or if it will be a boy/girl.

[ironbaby]

May 18, 2017 12:22:03 GMT -5 maddisonrose said:

 I want to be so exited about this baby and I want to start thinking about our future but I just feel the need to protect myself.

This, so much this.

[jessijean]

Thanks for starting this sarahh, I was thinking about this yesterday as I noticed many of us have suffered loss in the past.

Hugs ladies! We are in this together.

How far along are you? 7 weeks today

How are you physically/emotionally? Honestly, I've never experienced morning sickness like this. It's unreal. Emotionally, I'm okay now. Last weekend I was all over the place. Crying out of nowhere. Then one night I woke up super nauseous and actually had the thought wishing I wasn't pregnant. Obviously, I regretted even thinking that but I was miserable.

Any concerns/questions? Nothing yet. Any tips on curbing queasiness???

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet? Yes. I told myself not to get too excited until my first appointment (Monday) but this morning sickness has me sure everything is okay. Now I'm just hoping it's not twins. No thanks.

[RedAero]

How far along are you? 7w1d

How are you physically/emotionally? Not great. The hubs was really affected by our loss in March, but he hasn't said beans about it in a while (which is fine and normal, don't get me wrong), and he doesn't really say anything about this pregnancy either (which is, again, fine and normal for this early), but I think it's adding to my feeling kind of shitty and pessimistic. I don't feel like this is really happening, and/or, no one cares.

Trying not to read into the fact that my nausea seems to be fading. Half suspecting I'm not pregnant anymore, and we'll have a shitty ultrasound moment at our first appointment next Thursday. Half hoping I'm not pregnant anymore, either, because at least it would mean I can stop holding my breath, and start doing other things, if that even makes sense.

I'm also hating that I gained a bunch of weight during/after my miscarriage (I did a lot of dysfunctional coping with cookies and chocolate martinis), so I'm just chubby enough not to really fit into my regular clothes, but look ridiculous wearing maternity outfits already. I don't want to wear maternity outfits yet. It just makes me feel foolish, because, what if I'm not pregnant. And it's not like I can diet and decide that today is the day I start training for a marathon. Because, well, what if I'm still pregnant.

I feel like I'm being ungrateful. We were so lucky to get pregnant right away after our loss, and I can't just be happy about it. I keep comparing myself to how far along I would be with the son we lost, instead.

Any concerns/questions? I guess I answered this one already.

QOTD: Guess I answered this one too.

Sorry for the debbie downer post. Thanks for the safe place to vent.

[RedAero]

jessijean, what works seems to be so individual! I hear a lot of ladies say carby snacks seem to help, in small but frequent amounts. Ginger beer (the non-alcoholic but really ginger-y kind) can help. I was doing pretty well with drinking hot soup, as long as it was light, clear and broth-y. I hope you find something that helps!

maddisonrose, when is your first ultrasound?

ironbaby, I'll be thinking of you and watching for your update on Monday. Crossing all the things.

sarahh, thanks for starting this thread. I'll be watching for your update on Tuesday. Hopefully we all have nothing but good things to report! ALL THE VIBES for ultrasounds next week!

[flippinchica]

@jessiejean other than constantly shoving carbs in my face unisom (doxylamine) is a lifesaver for me. It is part of what is in diclegis so in that form it is FDA approved for morning sickness. I take 1/2 tab before bed and it helps a ton.
RedAero I get it. The limbo of it is the hardest part. You just want to know so you can move forward. Right now I 'see' two futures and I want to know which one is reality.

[flippinchica]

How far along are you? 6w4d

How are you physically/emotionally?
I'm struggling physically. Between the nausea and exhaustion I'm barely making it by at work and chasing after the toddler. In a way this I good because it doesn't give me time to feel anxious. I do wish I could get an early ultrasound. Because I know there should be a heartbeat by now, it is hard waiting to have it confirmed
Any concerns/questions?
Not really. Just wanting these 2 weeks to be over

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet? Back and forth.

[ironbaby]

RedAero, I identify so much with your am I/am I not thoughts. It's so hard after loss, because part of you wants to be happy and believe in it and move forward, and part of you is constantly scared that any day is the last day. I am sending you lots of hugs and hoping your ultrasound brings some reassurance.

maddisonrose, We're in the same boat with 6 weeks and no symptoms. It's a very confusing place.

flippinchica, I'm sorry the exhaustion and nausea is so bad right now. Big hugs.

jessijean, good luck at your appt Monday. Hoping for good news for both of us.

[maddisonrose]

RedAero I go for my physical next Wednesday and the dr will order an ultrasound then. Won't probably get one for another 2 weeks or so. Also sending you so many hugs and positive vibes.

[anymax]

I hope you all don't mind me jumping back in. I intro'ed right after the pee stick turned positive, then had a big bleeding scare and felt like I had jinxed myself...

How far along are you?
7w1d

How are you physically/emotionally?
I was on top of the world. OB was following my perfectly rising betas, gave me progesterone to appease me, and then I chilled out and I stopped the betas. At 5w2d, I woke up soaked in blood. Scan at 5w3d showed the teeniest flicker of a hb, and absolutely no reason for the bleed. But now I'm back to obsessively checking every time I wipe. And sometimes wiping just to check.

Any concerns/questions?
I had recently stopped going to therapy, but the longer I ride this crazy train, I wonder if I should go back. Is anyone else going?

QOTD: Has it started to feel real yet?
Some days yes, but only because the ms is constantly there. Other days, I'm 110% positive I'm getting my hopes up.

[sarahh]

anymax I am right there with you on the checking when I wipe and then wiping extra to make sure.

I had PPA after my daughter was born and was on medication and seeing a counselor. I thought it was getting better and stopped with everything a few months ago but I too am wondering if I need to go back. My anxiety is off the charts and I'm just waiting for something bad to happen.

[RedAero]

You guys, this is insane, but with the volume ALL the way up I just heard the faintest, most ridiculously hard to find but steady heartbeat at 120bpm with my Sonoline doppler.(It was definitely not me, my pulse was counting at 80.) I'm 7w3d.

Maybe this is all going to be okay.