Monday catch-up

[athn64]

How did everyone's weekend go? Any big plans this week? Any goals you're working on?

[athn64]

We didn't do much over the weekend. Played in the kiddie pool, walked to the local drive in for lunch and hung out at home.

My parents are back from Disney, so we'll hang out with them sometime this week and they'll give the kids their souvenirs. My mom was excited to buy all the grandkids big stuffed animals.

Other than that, normal week stuff. Hopefully make it to the splash pad or pool at least once this week, go to our hike and the library, etc.

No major goals. Just keep on keeping on, I guess.

[rainbowsockmonkey]

We went to a local towns FunFest on Saturday morning, and then walked with some of Dh's coworkers in a parade yesterday.

Tomorrow the girls and I go to my parents house for the night so I can work at a carseat check. Thursday is Dd2's 18mo well baby, and Saturday I'm setting up a display at a health and safety thing in my town.

The girls have been picking on each other non stop this morning. They are driving me crazy today. I'm hoping story time will give them a chance to mellow out and stop for a little bit.

[lrmrtn]

We were going to go strawberry picking but it rained when we wanted to go so we'll try for that next weekend. Yesterday we went out to lunch and for a walk on the water. DS loved the beach. This week is the usual work week. We may try to go to my mom's pool this weekend if the weather is okay.

[bliz1712]

H was golfing again on Friday so the kids and I went out for dinner with my parent's. Then I took SD to get some clothes and realized how picky she really is. Which is ok to a certain extent, but it really lmits her wardrobe so I guess the joke's on her lol

Sat was kind of a day that pissed me off. I did what felt like literally everything around the house. Here was my rundown.... Eliza woke up at 3 and wanted to sleep with us. I got up and put her back to bed. She was up again at 615. I did let her sleep with us and she slept until 8. Her and I got up. Chad slept until around 10. I got both girls breakfast and dressed for our party later. Did load of laundry (folded them later in the day), unloaded and loaded dishes, and picked up and vacuumed DD1 room. Made lunch at around 12. Fed girls and sat with them to eat. The entire time H was in the chair on his phone or laptop. We had a party at 2 and I left with the kids. Came home from party at 4. H took Eliza and SD to go boating while DD1 and I went to grocery store. When I get to car I get a message about what's for dinner from SD. They were home . I unloaded all the groceries and put them away. Then of course I had to make supper because no one else seems to know how. After supper, it was cleaning up the dishes/kitchen and then it was bath time. Done by once again me. And after bath was bedtime. I can now see why sometimes I get short with the kids, which I'm really trying hard not to. But seriously, that's what my normal day is like. And then add in the workweeks with me working 8-5 and doing all DC drop offs and pick ups.

Sunday was a lazy day. H got a card from the girls, we tried to convince him to go out to eat but instead he wanted pizza in from a local place. He went for a bike ride with SD and we dropped off cards to my Dad from the girls.

[meggypoo1]

Saturday morning just Clara and I went to pick up some flowers and supplies to plant them. T and MH stayed home and he put together her new bed. We were unsure if we needed a box spring the way the bed is but ended up needing one so Clara and I got one while we were out. We made lunch when we got back. Showed her room. She loved it. After that MH started on the dresser for T's room.
Sunday we had plans to go strawberry picking but it was supposed to rain all day so we didn't. It was my SIL birthday too so we hang out. We went to the park in the morning. Had lunch, Clara didn't nap again, MH finished up T's dresser and then he grilled steak! That was about all.
This week I am off on Wednesday for my birthday. I had an extra day I needed to take so I was like why not, lol. We going to go to this drive thru safari thing!
Goals for the week is to keep my water intake up! I have been doing good!

[kittyriot]

I had an exhausting weekend in Toronto. Travelled with my parents and the kiddo to visit my sister and her kids. It was my niece's fourth birthday this past weekend...we didn't do much, but still lugging a kid around and travelling all weekend has wiped me. We had a good time though, I love seeing those kids together!

This week, I am finally starting to feel like I am settling into my new job so I am hopeful I can get back to sorting out our family life.

I have some friend dates to schedule, so I sent some emails for bbq's etc this morning.

My other big family goal for the week is to do some calling around - I'm looking to get a quote on finishing our basement (FINALLY)! So I have some contractors to reach out to.

[scotty138]

We went camping at DH's parents land this weekend. They live about 4 hours away but the drive took 6 hours each way because DS2 was not having it and we had to stop often.

This week is more of the same. Keeping the boys from killing each other - they have been fighting constantly - and keeping everyone healthy. DS2 has his big nephrology appointment next week Monday - Tuesday. We are camping again this weekend about 4 hours from home. Why do I do this to myself?

[emmygirl]

Friday I went up north with some friends. Friday night we did a 5k. Then Saturday we did a half marathon. The rest of the day we relaxed and I even got a nap. That night we went out to get our free drinks and got dinner.
Sunday I got home and DD and I went to go get DHs Father's Day gift. We hung out and just relaxed watching some shows on DVR and I made dinner. Pretty exciting.
This week I want to stay on track with water. I've been good all weekend so now to keep it going! Also starting keto. I'm excited but nervous. And Friday there no school so DD and I are going to my moms for a pool day. ☀️🌊

[lecky11]

Saturday was my brother and SIL's baby shower. I'm glad my sister and I took it upon ourselves to get things done because SIL's BFF didn't have anything done like she said did. The shower went well and we had a good time though. Sunday, we went to my sister's and grilled for Father's Day. I'm so worn out. I'm excited to only have a 4 day work week, but dreading the 8 hour drive to VA later this week.

[emmagk]

bliz1712, serious question, why do you put up with it? Why don't you say no and tell YH to make dinner or get out of bed? Stop washing YH and SD clothes, they will have to figure it out when they have nothing clean left to wear. I really hate how much you are being taken advantage of

[emmagk]

Saturday we went to a provincial park but there was a massive race on so the beach was overrun with people so we went on a nature hike instead. Then went out for burgers and in the afternoon DS spent about 2 hours playing with the neighbour kids. There were 6 of them and they were all under 5, the oldest girls decided to put on a play with costumes, it was adorable; there were 2 princesses, a pink superhero, spiderman, a dinosaur (DS) and a tiger. Still don't know what the play was about

Sunday was a lazy day. I eventually dragged DS down to the lake to get out the house

[kittyriot]

Jun 19, 2017 11:16:13 GMT -5 emmagk said:

bliz1712, serious question, why do you put up with it? Why don't you say no and tell YH to make dinner or get out of bed? Stop washing YH and SD clothes, they will have to figure it out when they have nothing clean left to wear. I really hate how much you are being taken advantage of

bliz1712, I'm right there with emmagk - you can't let this situation continue to fester, I mean you mentioned just last week you were contemplating telling him you needed a break from your marriage, if you let this continue you will leave your marriage cause you just won't be able to handle the assholeish behaviour any longer.

I think you absolutely need a CTJ conversation as soon as possible, maybe even tell him it's gotten so bad you've contemplated walking away. No one should have to carry the family load like you've been. If he can't see there's a problem once you lay it out for him, well then you have a conversation that probably needs to be mediated by a marriage counsellor.

[kittyriot]

Jun 19, 2017 11:18:46 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Saturday we went to a provincial park but there was a massive race on so the beach was overrun with people so we went on a nature hike instead. Then went out for burgers and in the afternoon DS spent about 2 hours playing with the neighbour kids. There were 6 of them and they were all under 5, the oldest girls decided to put on a play with costumes, it was adorable; there were 2 princesses, a pink superhero, spiderman, a dinosaur (DS) and a tiger. Still don't know what the play was about

Sunday was a lazy day. I eventually dragged DS down to the lake to get out the house

Just the way you describe your days, it sounds like the west coast is so much better for your little family already!

[footloose]

Saturday I worked and didn't take a lunch or break so I could leave early. Was still busy so was stuck staying for a bit. Finally left and grabbed Peyton and Cleo and McDonald's and ate in the car on the way up. Peyton fell asleep eating and then woke up an hour later and just started eating again like 5 minutes had passed! Lol

Made good time up there and toured their house to see what they have refinished since last time. Peyton slept upstairs and I had the finished basement to myself. She stayed up until 10:30 as she refused to go to bed but my parents dealt with it.

Sunday we had a big breakfast and then walked the dogs around their woods, then into town to walk around a big book shop, and then a pie shop for a snack and a tea.

Weather was better once we got back and we ate an early dinner on the new patio and then quick swim in their pool before heading home.

This week am off and just trying to relax and do a couple of fun things and then Peyton is visiting my parents on the weekend.

[footloose]

bliz1712 I feel you are at the snapping point and you will just start to resent your DH and SD more each day because they don't step up and help.

It isn't good for your marriage or your sanity and something needs to change drastically. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[springbeduk]

Saturday there was a special story/craft time at the library (they finally just started having Saturday ones but only once a month) and dd enjoyed it though she seems to have gotten much less social/much more wary of other kids than she used to be.

The weekly story time for 2&3 year olds is Thursday morning; I'm hoping to take her to those thru the summer, starting this week.

We also checked out her first library books! Which I feel bad being so late doing, but the schedule during the school year is hard and last summer I didn't trust her to not destroy library books.

Sunday we were home and she didn't nap and we were inside because it was damp&buggy weather and I feel like what we mostly did was read those library books over and over and over and over.... Could be worse I guess.

School is over as of last week but I'm still finishing up the stupid portfolios (though will finish today which is less late than usual for me) and then I need to get busy throwing tons of stuff out and reorganizing. I'm planning to come in and have dd in daycare 2-3 days most weeks so that she still has the social time at daycare and stays in that routine somewhat plus it's the only way I get time to myself! But need to plan some family visits too. And do stuff at home. And I have a couple conferences/workshops. So the summer will probably fly by much too fast.

Dh has not gotten the sailboat in the water yet or even gone out and worked on getting it ready at all as far as I can tell and I'm not planning on saying a word about it!!

[emmagk]

Jun 19, 2017 11:43:42 GMT -5 kittyriot said:

Jun 19, 2017 11:18:46 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Saturday we went to a provincial park but there was a massive race on so the beach was overrun with people so we went on a nature hike instead. Then went out for burgers and in the afternoon DS spent about 2 hours playing with the neighbour kids. There were 6 of them and they were all under 5, the oldest girls decided to put on a play with costumes, it was adorable; there were 2 princesses, a pink superhero, spiderman, a dinosaur (DS) and a tiger. Still don't know what the play was about

Sunday was a lazy day. I eventually dragged DS down to the lake to get out the house

Just the way you describe your days, it sounds like the west coast is so much better for your little family already!

it really is. Even something as simple as taking DS swimming is easier and better. We have 4 leisure complexes within 30min drive and they all have all day open swim with family pools.

This is the local lake we go to, it was chilly and rainy yesterday but DS still had fun wading in the water and fishing for rocks with his net

[microworm]

DS2's 1st birthday is on Thurs and his party is on Sat. I've spent all this time figuring out the decorations and food that I just realized that we didn't get him a gift. Worst parent ever. Ideas? Prime-able preferred.

[meggypoo1]

Jun 19, 2017 11:59:49 GMT -5 microworm said:

DS2's 1st birthday is on Thurs and his party is on Sat. I've spent all this time figuring out the decorations and food that I just realized that we didn't get him a gift. Worst parent ever. Ideas? Prime-able preferred.

I have no idea what you have already that you are reusing and I just looked at Amazon really quick!

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B008MTYTHQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892675&sr=8-8&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy&dpPl=1&dpID=41fk35FiFfL&ref=plSrch

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00KG3WYI2/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892744&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy


www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004NCEL4M/ref=mp_s_a_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892767&sr=8-10&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy&dpPl=1&dpID=41OTA5FBOnL&ref=plSrch

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B06WRN3G9Q/ref=mp_s_a_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892767&sr=8-14&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01EH1PMDW/ref=mp_s_a_1_30?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892881&sr=8-30&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy&dpPl=1&dpID=516-xFdJo2L&ref=plSrch

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01LZTYKRY/ref=mp_s_a_1_58?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892927&sr=8-58-spons&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=best+gifts+for+1+year+old+boy&psc=1

[athn64]

Jun 19, 2017 11:59:49 GMT -5 microworm said:

DS2's 1st birthday is on Thurs and his party is on Sat. I've spent all this time figuring out the decorations and food that I just realized that we didn't get him a gift. Worst parent ever. Ideas? Prime-able preferred.

What do you still have from DS1? DD2 got the following from various people:
www.amazon.com/VTech-80-135400-Alphabet-Activity-Cube/dp/B007XVYQBI/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892725&sr=8-9&keywords=activity+cube

www.amazon.com/Little-Tikes-Tap-Tune-Piano/dp/B01M1CH242/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497892781&sr=8-1&keywords=little+tikes+piano

www.target.com/p/b-toys-buggly-wuggly/-/A-17090105

[athn64]

www.amazon.com/Plush-Turtle-Ball-Playcenter-Best/dp/B005FLZ1VC/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1497893079&sr=8-3&keywords=baby+turtle+ball+pit
She got this too. It's been a big hit.

[bliz1712]

I get all your points . They already do their own laundry so I can't do that. I do mine and the younger 2. I have several times made mentioned I need help. Things change for a month or so and then back to normal. But it needs to be done again, I know.

[lrmrtn]

bliz1712, DH and I have these fights all the time. I expect that he should just know that this stuff needs to get done and his opinion is, if you need help, ask. He finally suggested I just make a list of what needs to get done for the week and put it on the fridge, even if it's really obvious. I haven't tried it yet but I plan to. He has also started asking me on Saturday mornings, what needs to get done that weekend so we can plan on how to split it up.

[athn64]

I think a lot of this goes back to the cartoon that Susan0utLoud posted. The Mother Load if you will. We take on a lot more because we're managing our households and out Hs expect us to delegate the tasks to them and when we think they should just do them, they don't. It honestly should not be up to me to ask a 30 year old man to put away his underwear or start the dishwasher, but somehow it is.

[emmagk]

Jun 19, 2017 12:58:38 GMT -5 athn64 said:

I think a lot of this goes back to the cartoon that Susan0utLoud posted. The Mother Load if you will. We take on a lot more because we're managing our households and out Hs expect us to delegate the tasks to them and when we think they should just do them, they don't. It honestly should not be up to me to ask a 30 year old man to put away his underwear or start the dishwasher, but somehow it is.

you're right that we shouldn't have to tell grown men how to adult on a daily basis but if the alternative is me doing it all and getting resentful and burned out i'd rather tell MH to get out of bed/ do the dishes/ take the trash out/ clean the bathroom. Like it takes less effort to tell him to do shit than do it myself. 

[athn64]

Jun 19, 2017 13:04:07 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Jun 19, 2017 12:58:38 GMT -5 athn64 said:

I think a lot of this goes back to the cartoon that Susan0utLoud posted. The Mother Load if you will. We take on a lot more because we're managing our households and out Hs expect us to delegate the tasks to them and when we think they should just do them, they don't. It honestly should not be up to me to ask a 30 year old man to put away his underwear or start the dishwasher, but somehow it is.

you're right that we shouldn't have to tell grown men how to adult on a daily basis but if the alternative is me doing it all and getting resentful and burned out i'd rather tell MH to get out of bed/ do the dishes/ take the trash out/ clean the bathroom. Like it takes less effort to tell him to do shit than do it myself. 

I mean, I do it too. I also sometimes get passive aggressive, which I do not recommend. DH and I have had a few conversations about it in the past. Our first fight was him insisting that I should have replaced the kleenex box in the bedroom even though he's the one that used the last one.

Even when I have to ask him to do things, it does get hard to not feel resentful sometimes. Though he does do most of his normal chores without me asking, like mowing the yard and cleaning the litter box.

[Susan0utLoud]

The Mother Load is real and there's really no fix other than figuring out how to make things in your personal family dynamic work. Delegating is one way to try and help it, so is making lists. For me and my marriage/household, I was only ok delegating or making lists only after Dh and I both acknowledged that the Load is real and happening in our house. Once that happened, ways to ease it were much easier to consider because I felt like he understood where I was coming from better.

[bliz1712]

I will d2ay I bet a lot of it also comes from the fact that this us how his parents are. So maybe it's somewhat learned. But that's what irritates me too athn64, he's 43. He should know that a sinkful of dishes won't get magically cleaned on its own.

[Susan0utLoud]

Jun 19, 2017 13:11:05 GMT -5 bliz1712 said:

I will d2ay I bet a lot of it also comes from the fact that this us how his parents are. So maybe it's somewhat learned. But that's what irritates me too athn64, he's 43. He should know that a sinkful of dishes won't get magically cleaned on its own.

Is it learned. Totally.