Shower timing

[ombradellarosa]

If you are having a shower, do you know when it will be? Are you having more than one? How much input did you have on timing and what were your considerations? STM+, did you have a shower and if so when? What were the pros and cons of that timing? How did you feel physically? 

For example, from what I've read earlier is better in some ways because you will be less uncomfortable, but if it's later you have something to look forward to and pass the time later in pregnancy when not much is happening. 

[Deleted]

EDD = June 14, Shower is happening sometime between April 18 and Mother's day. I don't know which date they ended up picking. That was just the range I gave them when they asked me when I was free in late April - earl May.

[leenziepops]

My sisters are throwing me a shower and I gave them the date and the guest list. I am having one. Big deciding factor was that I wanted my BFF there and she is going overseas and coming back mid May. So mine is May 16th which is slightly later than I thought i would have it but should be okay. So far in my family, the ladies have carried to full term and most were a few days late.
I hope I am not too tired but who knows. Ideally I think it's good around the 33 weeks mark because your belly should be the best shape for photos and then you can have good photos for your baby shower. Getting towards the end you will probably look as tired as you feel and be very large and bloated.

[Deleted]

For DS my due date was March 8th. I had the shower January 15th. I think 1 1/2 months-2 months before due date is perfect. I chose the timing of the shower but a good friend hosted it for us.

[ombradellarosa]

So this is my situation. My mum asked me to pick a date. I thought early April would be good. I heard 32 weeks was a good time for a shower and since I'm due 1 June, I thought that would be ideal. Then Mum told me that she'd had two friends text her that this was not a shower they wanted to miss, and told her dates they couldn't make it so that she wouldn't schedule it for those times. One friend is having her daughter's birthday party the first weekend in April (we are busy that week anyway, so that's fine) and the other is booked the second and third weekends. So that leaves the 25th, the last Saturday in April, which also happens to be the day after two consecutive important dates for my family (not to get all personal info-y, but anniversary and birthday type things) and therefore a day I wanted to avoid since my family often waits until the weekend to go out and celebrate those things. My family is okay with having the shower that day though, so that's all right. It seems so much later to me than the beginning of the month, though! I'll be 35 weeks instead of 32 and I'm worried about being too uncomfortable to enjoy myself. Late March isn't an option anymore because there's not enough time to get invitations out.

So, I've convinced myself that a few weeks won't make that much difference in how I feel and that it's still plenty of time to get everything together before baby arrives. FTMs are more likely to have the baby on or after their due date from what I read. Not sure how much I will feel like doing that far along though but there's also the fact that the sooner I get stuff the sooner I have to figure out what to do with it, and our nursery is still stacked with boxes so we're a long way from ready. I'm just feeling a little freaked out, anxious, and hemmed in by other people's schedules. My mum reassured me that we don't absolutely have to go by what they said though and that if we have to do a different day we'll just tell our friends sorry, but we couldn't accommodate your schedule. I'm not sure it's worth it though for a few more weeks' time.

I am just worried because I am a huge procrastinator and I'm trying to be better, so having more time to space out getting the baby's room ready and everything would be helpful. Except we could really do that before the shower as we're not waiting on a crib or any major furniture, and besides the baby will sleep in our room the first few months so there's no real rush. Ugh okay I'm finally done rambling. Sorry about the novel. Looking forward to reading other people's experiences!

ETA: I started writing this immediately after the question post and it took me so long that three people answered before I did! Haha thanks ladies for your responses. @jimbobcooter, you sound relaxed about it, which I wish I could be! Or you're hiding your anxiety well. leenziepops I totally agree about the belly shape thing! I was thinking the same. @poppyc8 thanks for your experience! How did you feel at that time? Were you able to enjoy the proceedings without too much discomfort?

[Deleted]

I felt fine. No discomfort. But then I might have been one of those magical pregnancy unicorns that had no discomfort in the third tri up until the day I delivered.

[baileybaileybne]

My sister, who is throwing the shower, works a lot of weekends so I wanted to make sure we set the date down fairly far in advance. So she sent a Save the Date out today for 2 May. I'll be 33 weeks. It will be coming into winter so I'd like to do it earlier rather than when it's cold so we can stick with her plan to have an afternoon high tea outdoors.

It seems like ages away but people are so busy on weekends: I had a few people contact me after the invitation went out saying thanks for the heads up! And a few laugh at how super organised it is to book it in already, which they appreciated because that's just like them

Excited to have a date to look forward to now. I figure I'll be comfortable and happy to socialize at that stage, and I'll still have some time to buy extra bits and pieces once I've seen what people bring as gifts (if they choose to).

[billyhorrible]

I think you'll be fine at 35 weeks. I had mine earlier, and honestly it was the only uncomfortable weekend of my entire pregnancy (Friday the baby spun head down, and I could literally feel/hear the "pop" and it must have pulled something because I was in excruciating pain for the entire weekend. My mom's friend is a midwife and she had to give me a quick checkup right before the shower - so you can never tell.)

I had my son the first week of October (I'm always a beginning of the monther) and my shower was first week of August (my anniversary weekend!).

[wormgerm]

Mine is going to be just before I hit 37 weeks. It was going to be at 35 weeks but my SIL will be in Ireland so my MIL requested the date be moved on her behalf. Hopefully I'll be comfortable enough to enjoy myself and not go into labor.
Baby wormgerm (aka me) came a month early (that whole sex thing inducing labor is true!) and my sister had her son a week before her edd.

[Widget123]

I agree that you will probably be fine to have your shower at 35 weeks. If your shower is anything like mine were you will mostly get smaller things, baby clothes, and less practical gifts like baby blankets. The only "big" things I got were my rocker/glider and a high chair. I did get a few other "larger" gifts unexpectedly via mail after the baby was born but it wasn't really a big deal.

With DD I had 3 showers, the latest being at 37.5 weeks, only a few days before having DD. That was too late in my opinion, but it didn't really end up being a big deal either.

Probably and hopefully no showers this time as DD and DS are going to be less than 2 years apart.

[carolyngrace]

@pcrunk, holy cow that IS going to be huge! What type of a venue are you going to have it at? Are you prepared to open presents for like 3 hours?

Mine will be pretty big, too. More like 50 total people though. It's on April 11th (I'm due June 1). My sister sent an email to the rest of our (4) sisters and that was the only weekend within two months that everyone was free.

She has talked with me a good bit about the theme and food, since I like party planning a lot.. We got on the topic of brunch and somehow the idea of a waffle bar came up! So I know there's going to be make your own waffles and tons of different delicious toppings. I really can't wait!

[mcp6286]

I guess I'm the odd man out here who is having my shower exceptionally early. It is on March 8 (I know...2 weeks from Sunday!). It was planned so early because my sister has spring break that week and she won't be home from college again till after the baby is born b/c she's doing a study abroad in May/June and leaves from school with her group. It was really important to me that she be at my shower, so my friends were happy to accommodate. I'm SOOO excited and honestly happy to be having it while I still look cute and bumpy rather than like a whale lol

I'm having approx 60 ppl at a yet-to-be-disclosed venue. I'm super type-A and having nothing to do with the planning is killing me, even though I know my BFF considers this shower her life's mission and it will be gorgeous.

[apollo11235]

We haven't set a date for sure yet, but my friend who's throwing it asked me when would be a good time and I said maybe early May? Partly because I don't know what I'm doing, and partly because I'll be teaching until then and will have the time after that to actually deal with all the crap we'll get. I think we're leaning towards May 2, when I'll be 34w4d and all that's left in the semester is finals.

[Bluedaisy]

Due June 29th and having showers June 7th and July 17th (my family always does them after baby is born and this way it falls while MIL is here visiting so both grandmas can be there).

[honeybunches101]

I think I was around 35 weeks with my shower for DS and it was fine. We mostly stood around having snacks and then sat while I opened presents, it's not like I was outside doing an obstacle course I never got super uncomfortable even though I gained an insane amount of weight, like 70lbs! I was walking a mile to/from work up until the day my water broke, it's not like I was just going to sit around all day and it was fine.

My main concern was having enough time to get everything we needed, but we bought the car seat and stroller ourselves and just planned to buy whatever else we needed off the registry. We didn't have a crib or nursery so I wasn't too worried about having everything ready.

[megd893]

EDD is June 22nd and shower is being planned for May 31. I'll be 36 weeks. K's family is still deciding if they're going to throw one, or piggy back on my fams.
It'll likely be 40-50 people, but my Ma can have it at her house, so it's not a huge deal. We've been accumulating things as we've been going, so bedding/crib/rocker/dresser/buggy/car seat will all be purchased before the shower anyways.

[mrsmonogrammed]

I'm due june 23rd, and the shower will be May 9th....I'll be almost 34 weeks. Fingers crossed that I'm still feeling good!

[trixi282]

I'm most likely not having one since i'm a STM... I'm certainly not doing anything or asking for anything, unless someone offers.

That said, with my first I was very lucky to have generous friends and family.  I had 3 baby showers.

First was Family (Mine and H's) and close friends from "home" (we were in VA, and went home to MN for this shower).  It was a fairly large shower, and it was somewhat early in my pregnancy.... I believe I was 24-ish weeks when that one happened.  I did have some say over timing of course since I had to be there for it, and we were driving back... 20 hours - pregnant! yay.  My Mom, Sister, and MIL planned it and MIL hosted.

Second shower was at work, my friends at work threw it and a lot of coworkers came.  It was a surprise, so I had no say over when it was... it was a pot-luck luncheon held in our conference room.  I honestly can't remember when it was time-wise, but I know it was a bit later on... maybe 35 weeks?

My Third shower was with a women's SAI Chorus I was a part of in VA.  My good friend planned with one other lady, and a woman I know well hosted.  I had a little say over when that one was because of weekend planning, and my friend confirmed with me who I wanted invited from the chorus, as I didn't know all very well... it too was a good, small sized shower (probably 15 people), and was also around the 35 week mark - the last two showers were only about a week or two apart....

I say if someone is asking when you want to do it, do it for whenever you are comfortable doing it.  I would say though not to wait too long because there are random occurances of babies showing up early without warning! Not in my case, I was a week overdue.

[jessimi06]

My shower is March 21st, and I'll be 28 weeks. My due date is June 15th, but due to twins/previa I'll be having a scheduled c-section at 34 weeks. We figured that would give us six weeks to finish getting everything together, give us some wiggle room in case they come earlier, and that I'll be sufficiently huge enough (since I'm already measuring 5-6 weeks ahead).

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2015 0:23:09 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

ETA: I started writing this immediately after the question post and it took me so long that three people answered before I did! Haha thanks ladies for your responses. @jimbobcooter, you sound relaxed about it, which I wish I could be! Or you're hiding your anxiety well. leenziepops I totally agree about the belly shape thing! I was thinking the same. @poppyc8 thanks for your experience! How did you feel at that time? Were you able to enjoy the proceedings without too much discomfort?

Honestly, I don't care if I have one or not.  There may be an 8 year gap, but this is my second and we have more than everything we need already because people have given us so many hand me downs.  But it's important to two of my friends to throw me something so I'm letting them.  I'm just going to smile, show up when they tell me, and be happy for people who love me.

[sapphyre0702]

My EDD is June 7 and my shower is April 12 so a little less than two months. My mom and MIL are hosting it for me. We sent out like 50 invitations. My MIL wanted it to be the third weekend in may - like two weeks from my due date. I said no to that since I feel like I'll need time to get the nursery together and I'll want to buy things that are left on my registry. I'm a planner and that just stressed me out!

[sully326]

I seriously thought you were talking about an actual shower. Like, bathing shower. I was so freakin' confused reading the post & only realized it when I saw @jimbobcooter response.... -_-

[sully326]

Now, to answer...

I'm not planning on having a shower. I'd rather have a "Sip and See". So that's what I'm going for right now. My mom & friends aren't happy about it but they'll get over it..

[mrskblack11]

I am due June 9th and my shower will be April 11th. Date was picked because First weekend in April is Easter. The third weekend in April my BFF is out of town for a wedding. The last weekend my mom will be out of town. May seemed to be pushing it so they picked April 11th.

[ladysif]

I think between 30-35 weeks is typical, but it isn't a hard and fast rule or anything. I don't think you'll feel uncomfortable enough to not enjoy the shower at 35 weeks; you can sit for most of it. But I may be a magical pregnancy unicorn like @poppyc8 and just not have a ton of major discomfort during pregnancy. STM so not having anything for this baby, but we were very spoiled with 5 showers for DS1 (obviously all smaller, one was a surprise).

If you REALLY want to be a planner you could stalk your registry and plan according to what is purchased, but that kind of ruins the surprise. But if it is stressing you out to not know what's bought, that's an option.

[belle0720]

I'm due June 20th and my shower will be April 11th (30 weeks).

My mom, sister, and friends are throwing it for me at my house. Most of our friends/family haven't seen our house since we bought it/renovated so I thought it would be nice to finally have everyone over and then they can also see the nursery which I'm excited about.

Originally they planned to do it April 18th--but then my ILs brought up that SIL would probably have her son's birthday party that weekend. His birthday is the Wednesday before and MIL insisted that SIL absolutely cannot have her son's birthday party before his actual birthday. So whatever, not a hill I was going to die over. And then one of my bffs is pregnant and due early May so she didn't want to do it any later than the 18th. So the 11th it is. Which is also my favorite number, so I like it even more.

[ktbear]

I had mine at 30 and 32 weeks. I think you should be fine at 35 weeks. And even if you're uncomfortable, what difference does it make if you're uncomfortable at home or uncomfortable with your fiends and family, opening presents and eating cake? ;-)

[belle0720]

Oh yeah, my work is also doing a baby shower for me (we do them for all weddings and pregnancies here). It will basically be a group lunch and they usually go in on a group present that is partially paid for by the company. No games, invitations, decorations, or anything. I'm not sure when it will be, but my boss was just asking me yesterday about when I go on maternity leave so he can figure out when to schedule it.

[erbear]

Due date is June 24th, Shower is May 23rd. I wish it was earlier, but my mom coordinated it at the winery we had our rehearsal dinner for our wedding at, so since it's outside in Western PA, it makes sense.

MIL is planning one June 3rd for her family (about 3 hours north of where we live). I'm not looking forward to going to that since it will necessitate me sleeping somewhere other than my bed while VERY pregnant.

[trixi282]

I think if your mom did it now, there would be plenty of time to get an invitation out for the end of march, with time to RSVP... that said, I saw your concerns about the 35 week mark.

I was not that uncomfortable around that time, and was perfectly happy at my 2 showers around that timeframe. Like honeybunches said, it wasn't like I was doing all kinds of activities. It was indoors, (hot as hell outside, so I was sweating when I got there) and I was sitting 75% of the time while we chatted, ate, and I opened presents.

I think at 35 weeks you'll be fine to have the shower. But if you want it closer to 31 weeks, I think you have enough time to get that done for the end of March if you really wanted to - your mom would just have to get going soon!