Post by stuntmanmillie on Jan 17, 2015 17:30:08 GMT -5
It's normal and you should validate your feelings. It's especially hard after a loss to be positive. It's always "if" or "what if" (at least for me). Are you close enough with your sister you could talk to her about it just to get your feelings out in the open?
Absolutely normal to feel that way. Being pregnant is scary enough. Throw previous losses and a sister due at the same time and it's downright terrifying. I hope neither of you have to find out how that would feel. FX for both of you.
Of course it's normal for you to feel this way!! There is so much wrapped up in this. You should be having all the emotions. It seems like you and your sister(s) are pretty close. Can you talk through any of this with her? She is probably almost as freaked out as you. Anyway all the hugs for you as you sort through the emotional part of this.
Totally normal to feel that way. I have cousins who are due 5 days apart in May. My older cousin had the same feelings as she had a previous loss. But I would definitely open up to your sister about your feelings. She may be having some of the same thoughts!
I think what you are feeling is all perfectly normal. I can't image how I would feel if one of my sisters told me she was pregnant right now. man that's a lot to process.
It is totally normal to imagine worst case scenarios. How could you not after experiencing losses? You are trying to protect yourself by preparing for the worst. Just know that this pregnancy is its own entity, and it has been healthy and progressing well. You and your sister are getting to share something wonderful. Let yourself work through the fear in whatever way you need. By the second trimester you will hopefully be able to let it go and move forward with the excitement.
Take a deep breath. What you're feeling is completely natural and understandable. I think the best thing that you can do for yourself right now is to think about how amazing it will be to have your sister to go through all the stages of pregnancy with, to talk to and exchange complaints and make plans. Think about how close your little ones will be, and how they'll grow up together. Try to relax, and think and daydream about all the good things, and the possibilities, because today you are pregnant, and it's wonderful. I know it's easier said than done, but try to enjoy it. And I agree with PPs, as well - talk to your sister. It sounds like you're close. I think the first trimester is scary for most women, whether they've suffered a previous loss or not. She may have her own fears, and it might make you feel better to unburden yourself to her. Hugs.
Post by goldpolkadot on Jan 17, 2015 17:45:26 GMT -5
First - how awesome that you two have the same due date! Next - girl, feeling that way is totally normal. I think that's totally a legitimate fear, but you've got to try to stay positive. You are pregnant today! And you WILL be able to have a good relationship w/ your niece or nephew no matter what happens.
To be honest, my best friend is pregnant right now, and those exact same thoughts have been crossing my mind. She's almost a trimester ahead and so far everything is perfectly normal for them (which is awesome, of course!). I just keep thinking - what happens if we get to our first appointment and there's no heartbeat? I love going though this with her and being pregnant at the same time, but it's hard!
Try not to stress too much - I know that's wayyy easier said than done, but try anyway. Does your sister know that you've had pervious losses? It may help take a load off if you talk with her about your fears. Hugs girl!
It's totally normal, but I'm also going to talk you down a bit.
With my first loss, we kind of knew out the gate that something wasn't right, but we got the official word 2 days before my sister's scheduled c-section. My doctor scheduled my D&C for the next day so I wouldn't still be "pregnant" at the birth (she was delivering my sister).
It was really, really hard for a while, but now? I don't associate my niece with anything negative. Of course, that's not exactly the same scenario, but just know that A) more than likely, everything is fine, and B) you'll still love the kid, even if the worst happens.
It's exciting to be pregnant together and your feelings are 100% normal. My sister and I were both due in November '14 about a week apart and I ended up losing the pregnancy. It was really hard for a little while but I LOVE LOVE my nephew and I feel like I have a special little bond with him.
I hope you both have happy and healthy pregnancies and have your kids grow up together:)
Post by cinqueterre2011 on Jan 17, 2015 18:04:51 GMT -5
Hey I get it. Firts let's hope everything goes amazing for the both of you.I'm sure it will and how great to have someone to vent and talk to those first few months after baby.
Second I just went through this. My gf and I were both due in April 2015 and I lost my baby. I'm not gonna lie it hurt and I was resentful and angry but it was not her fault. We are closer than ever now.
Ditto what everyone else said about this being a normal feeling. I have a friend who was also TTC last summer. I got a BFP the week before she did. We were so excited, because we met because our boys are in the same class at daycare. Then she started spotting and I was worried how she would feel if she m/c and I went to term. Turns out it happened the other way around at my first appointment. She has been great, and I think it was a relief for both of us when I got a BFP before her due date.
Totally normal to feel this way. I can't relate completely, but I did have a close friend who was due a few days before me in April 15. I had a CP and so far she is happily in her 3rd tri. It has been difficult at times but it doesn't change how happy I am for her. As PP have said, try to stay focused on the positive today. Try not to dwell too much on the what if.
That is so exciting to be due together!! What I try to tell myself is that the majority of pregnancies at this point are successful. I can't totally understand how terrifying it is though. Can't wait for your first U/S!
The way you feel is completely normal, fortunately it sounds like your sister and you are close enough to be understanding and supportive with one another in any eventuality. I don't have any similar experiences to share but I do hope that you both have a happy and healthy 9 months!
I think it is totally normal to be a mess over this. I would be too. Your lucky to have such a great sister that was keeping your feelings in mind. Be very thankful for that. It really will be so awesome that the cousins will be so close in age. Just keep looking at all the awesome things to come and getting to go through it all with your sister.
Post by swbrigadoon on Jan 17, 2015 19:31:00 GMT -5
I think the others have put it beautifully, and I second what cabgirl said. What a fantastic experience the two of you will have together- the same DD...wow!! Thinking such happy thoughts for you.
Edit: Dang it, tag fail but I can't figure it out right now.
That really is so awesome for you guys. Try not to stress out. Easier said than done i know. I would tell her when you feel better. Perhaps after your appointment. Best wishes and Ill keep you in my prayers (if thats cool) Built in BFF's. Super cool!
Post by mdharrisonCPO on Jan 17, 2015 20:46:38 GMT -5
Uh, dear powers that be.. why would you fuck around like that?!
That would seriously make me so paranoid, too, so I'm going with your feelings = normal. Yes, it would be absolutely amazing if everything worked out perfectly, but how nerve wracking!
The what if game is the worst with PGAL brain. I completely agree that the anxiety is normal, but today you are BOTH pregnant and you love your babies! One day at a time.
What a crazy cool situation! Your response is totally normal and it's awesome that you have the kind of relationship where you could be open with your sister. FX that both of you have completely dull, healthy pregnancies.
First - this is awesome! And don't feel bad for feeling this way .. It's absolutely normal.
My BFF and I were due 3 days apart before my loss last year. She went on to have a healthy pregnancy and asked me to be the godmother to her son. I was truly amazed at how I was completely OK with that. He's one of the love of my life and I never think of my loss when I see him.
How terribly exciting/nerve wracking to be due at the same time! I echo everyone else's comments that it's completely normal to feel the way you do. Thank goodness your sister has been so considerate of your feelings. I hope both of you have happy, healthy pregnancies!
Post by andtheheartbreakers on Jan 18, 2015 0:46:00 GMT -5
PPs have given so much advice so I don't have much to add, but I hope that everything works out for you both, and neither of you has to face the "what-ifs". I also think that is the coolest thing that you have the same EDD!!! Keeping my FX and positive thoughts your way!
It's totally normal, but I'm also going to talk you down a bit.
With my first loss, we kind of knew out the gate that something wasn't right, but we got the official word 2 days before my sister's scheduled c-section. My doctor scheduled my D&C for the next day so I wouldn't still be "pregnant" at the birth (she was delivering my sister).
It was really, really hard for a while, but now? I don't associate my niece with anything negative. Of course, that's not exactly the same scenario, but just know that A) more than likely, everything is fine, and B) you'll still love the kid, even if the worst happens.
OMG. Ally!! Am I being too much of an AW that I missed that you go here now?!?!
I'll forgive you because I lurve you so much. Haiiii!
Post by whosurmomma on Jan 18, 2015 8:48:38 GMT -5
I don't have to offer anything more than anyone else either. But, try to think positive :-) fingers crossed for a sticky baby and happy healthy pregnancy for both of you!
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