My SIL is a total idiot.

[Ann612]

**warning, story mentions loss and other people's children**



Over the summer I was asked to be godmother to my niece.  It was awesome, I was very excited and honored.  My SIL has been dragging her feet on doing the actual christening.

So cut to less than 48 hours after I found out about my MMC, and less than 8 hours after I had written her to tell her how hard of a time I was having, she texted me asking when I was free for the christening.  2 months out.  So it obviously wasn't a rush, so why can't you just give me a few days, or god forbid, a week?   I was pissed and I mentioned it to my DH, but for the most part, I let it go.  Family and all that, and I knew she wasn't being malicious, just dumb.  

Well just now she sends me a text asking how I was doing.  I say I am in some pain, but doing ok, and asked how she was.  She replies that she and her son (3 1/2) are going to a train show with my parents tomorrow.  Like, oh great, I can't manage to give my parents grandchildren of their own, so they have to go borrow hers.  FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.  

So I break down.  DH is now on the phone with her.  I told him either he handles it, or I will.  And if I have to, I couldn't guarantee it was going to be nice.  

[sammae]

That's just insensitive. And really, anyone should know better with any social sense at all! I'm sorry you're having to deal with insensitive family. Glad your DH is talking to her and hoping she doesn't "take it personally" as some do.

*Big hugs* dealing with yet more shit.

[lillee]

Sorry you are dealing with that right now. ((Hugs))

[NariaDreaming]

I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how much that hurts, and TP to your SIL for being so insensitive right now.

[bluefairy5]

Ann612 I'm so sorry your SIL has been so completely dense about all this. Just because it wasn't malicious on her part doesn't mean it's easy to brush off on yours. Nor should it be. Thank goodness YH is dealing with it.

[LavishPeach]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of everything else. *hugs* to you! I hope your DH can sort it out.

[murrt]

That completely sucks! I'm sorry your SIL is a total idiot. 

[disneykate]

Ugh, some people don't have a clue. I hope your DH can sort it out so you don't have to deal with her right now.

[lemonliz]

Hugs! Yes, absolutely pass the buck to YH! Let him deal with SIL. And TP to her for being an idiot. I try to keep in mind that most people don't have to deal with what we deal with all.the.time and therefore they don't understand. But that still doesn't excuse stupidity. Big hugs!

[bandm14]

That is horribly insensitive!! I'm so sorry you are dealing with that, I totally understand you being upset. I'm glad YH is sticking up for you by talking to her, I hope she gets a clue and acts more appropriately from now on.

[SweetieShellie]

Im so sorry it sucks dealing with the insensitivities of those who have no idea what it's like to go through a loss and/or IF

Edit: because typing on a tablet makes it hard to spell ... and causes you to like your own post  by accident 

[k1111k]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this right now...that is totally insensitive! (((Hug)))

[kensie5226]

That's hella insensitive. I am not sure I could
Be nice either. Hugs to you.

[BunnyBerry]

I'm so sorry for your loss. What is wrong with your SIL? It's like she never stopped to think for a moment about what you must be going through. I'm so glad YH is standing up for you on this.

[cinzink]

I have some super insensitive family and completely understand but I am sooo sorry. I know when I tell DH that it's him or me that's going to handle it to deal with it. If I could I'd hug you right now.

[cateyes]

I am sorry your SIL is super insensitive. It never fails to amaze me how clueless people can be so insensitive. Hugs to you.

[karenb676]

Oh my goodness I am so sorry that you have to deal with this from your Sil. I am reading this as it is your Dh's sister? If so, I find it strange that your parents would go out with them. Unless you're families are super close which is great. But still..... Hopefully your husband was able to make her understand how sensitive this is. I find that women who never had tttc really don't get it, and we need to be blunt with them. Are you going to talk to your parents? I would definitely say something to my parents about how hurtful this came across. All of then probably meant you know Harm, they just need to understand where you are coming from.

[alaskadee]

Wow how insensitive I'm glad YH is handling it for you. Hopefully that will make her a little more aware of what she's saying to you. hugs sweetie.

[hrushka]

I'm sorry. She sounds very self-absorbed and insensitive. I'm glad YH is confronting her about it. I hope she learns to be better to you. Some people just don't get it.

[tumbleweed]

***loss and OPP mentioned***



I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It's so unfair and so horrible that some people just don't get it. If it makes you feel any better, I found out that my SIL was pregnant two days after my last miscarriage. And, she was only like four weeks, which means that they totally could have waited a few MONTHS to tell me. They knew I'd just miscarried. So, you aren't alone with dealing with insensitive fertiles. (((hugs)))

[QuitcherBitchin]

I'm so sorry It's like people just don't think sometimes. I sometimes wonder if people really truly are that insensitive, or are they really just DUMB.

[Ann612]

Jan 18, 2015 11:08:40 GMT -5 tumbleweed said:

***loss and OPP mentioned***



I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It's so unfair and so horrible that some people just don't get it. If it makes you feel any better, I found out that my SIL was pregnant two days after my last miscarriage. And, she was only like four weeks, which means that they totally could have waited a few MONTHS to tell me. They knew I'd just miscarried. So, you aren't alone with dealing with insensitive fertiles. (((hugs)))


Holy hell that takes the cake on the insensitivity level.  I'm so sorry you had to deal with that!!! Interestingly, the very same thing happened to my mom. What is it with sister in laws?!  (ETA I have no idea how to get out of the quote box on this board).

[booklover811]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Good job to your H for taking care of it. Hugs to you!!

[tikoberry99]

Ann612 I'm sorry you are going through this...but props to you DH for handling the situation!

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you have to deal with that, how horribly insensitive. I'm glad your DH is dealing with in though.

[dancerspose]

What a thoughtless witch with a b, pardon my bluntness it's a drinkin Sunday. (HUGS) to you. So glad DH is trying to handle it n

[bluejoan]

I'm sorry your SIL was so thoughtless. Empathy shouldn't be that hard but it appears to be very hard based on how people act. My SIL told me to "Let it Go" like she tells her kindergarten students when we were talking about all we had gone through. I was getting upset so she gave us that gem to think about.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes it's hard too.

Ann612 & tumbleweed - I'm sorry you both had to deal with those ass hats.

[tumbleweed]

bluejoan. --what in the f*ck? If someone quoted Disney to me after I told them about my IF pain I'd never speak to them again. Seriously, never again -- or she can trade for five TPs and ten hours on the Resolve site.

[k1111k]

Omg, bluejoan...I'm with tumbleweed on this one!

[wazzu08]

Ugh, that's awful! Big hugs. I'm so sorry about your SIL's stupid timing and lack of empathy.

I try to give some grace to those who aren't in the loop about what I'm going through. They have no clue that talking about OPP, etc. could be hurtful. But the ones that do know (like your SIL) and then do or say the most insensitive shit is just mind blowing to me. I hate it.