Check In -- Week of 2/23

[jenn]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?


2.) Who are you in the triad?


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?

[jenn]

1.) Waiting and waiting and waiting.

2.) PAP

3.) Nothing new at all.

4.) I hit 135 pounds lost, working on hitting 140 so I can treat myself to a "Pampered Mama" massage.

QOTW:
Adoption Related - The fact that you have to be mentally prepared to wait a long time however you have to be physically ready to get the call at anytime. Our agency had more emergency placements in January than planned ones!

Non-AR - I'm always a bit behind the curve, so I just finished The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott and I'm starting The Magician tonight!

[jwinct]

Feb 23, 2015 11:21:12 GMT -5 jenn said:

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?  We applied to adopt through DCF in February 2014 and are currently taking the classes and in the process of getting licensed.


2.) Who are you in the triad?  Pre-Adoptive Parent


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!  After having class cancelled due to snow for 4 weeks (UGH!), we finally had a class last week and have another one tonight (YAH!).


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? My boss gave us all his baby stuff yesterday... crib, toddler bed, strollers, car seats... because we had given all of our stuff away before we decided to pursue this. Our first home study interview is this Thursday (my interview). I finally feel like we're actually making progress!  (Though, I know we're going to have to get a new crib because I didn't realize the one he was giving us is a drop-side. I found some really inexpensive, but nice ones already.)


QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?
I wish that the trainers at the initial DCF open house had told us what no legal risk adoption really means, or advised us not to put that on our application because that's why it took so long for them to get to us... we ended up being told that we weren't a priority because we put that on our initial application. Well, that combined with the 0-4 age range... because that combination basically doesn't exist in DCF.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? I have been reading nothing but the Outlander series for the past year. I'm currently on the 6th book. I love them so much, but they take me forever to get through because I'm a full-time working mother of 2 and each book is like 1,000 pages long. 

[jwinct]

Feb 23, 2015 11:37:27 GMT -5 jenn said:

1.) Waiting and waiting and waiting.

2.) PAP

3.) Nothing new at all.

4.) I hit 135 pounds lost, working on hitting 140 so I can treat myself to a "Pampered Mama" massage.

QOTW:
Adoption Related - The fact that you have to be mentally prepared to wait a long time however you have to be physically ready to get the call at anytime. Our agency had more emergency placements in January than planned ones!

Non-AR - I'm always a bit behind the curve, so I just finished The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott and I'm starting The Magician tonight!

jenn,   Wow, great job on the weight loss. That's amazing!

[gnomesweetgnome]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?: DIA


2.) Who are you in the triad?: adoptive mom


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!: WE FINALIZED OUR ADOPTION!!!!!


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?: see #3



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?: I tell people to read as much as possible on the topic of adoption.  I don't think you can really be prepared for the mixed up feelings you have if you are involved in an open adoption, but that is something that I struggle with a lot.  I think it's harder because we didn't get to meet our BM before placement (or for about 6 weeks after that), and she's very reserved/closed off, so it's hard to get to know her or to really know how she's feeling about things.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?: Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore

[pinkie]

1) adoption of older son completed, waiting for finalization of second son
2) APs
3) we completed our third post placement visit this past weekend, just one to go in early April and then we should be able to finalize in May (hopefully).

Advice - be careful to choose an agency that you think realistically will get you a placement in the timeline you expect within the budget you can handle. We were so afraid to commit money up front that we went with a local agency that had so few placements and we spent months waiting with no activity. I have no regrets because our path led us to our boys but if I was starting from scratch I would go straight to a much larger agency with more activity. After trying for bio kids for so long we mentally could not handle a long adoption wait.

If you are matched and need to travel, pack a bag at least 2-3 weeks ahead of the due date. We stayed up packing the entire night before flying to meet DS1 and we were mentally drained and exhausted before we ever got to the hospital. If you will be flying, pack light and buy things like diapers, formula, wipes, etc at your location. Stay at a place where you can do laundry. I could go on and on here but will stop. If anyone knows they will be flying feel free to reach out to me for questions .

[roxy]

Feb 23, 2015 11:21:12 GMT -5 jenn said:

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world? 
         Waiting to be matched.

2.) Who are you in the triad?
      PAP

3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!
      UGH - We have requests on three kiddos for more info from their SWs and haven't heard back on any of them. One of them we asked about mid-December. Seriously, if she would just tell us that we aren't a good fit for the kid then I would stop driving my SW crazy.


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?
     We finally bought a bed a few weeks ago for the room. We know that whomever we end up with, he or she will be in a big kid bed.


QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?
I guess I wish someone would have told me about SWs not being responsive. I knew that we would be waiting and had totally prepared myself for that. I just find it bizarre.
Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?
I haven't done any non-adoption reading in the past year. The book that I've found very informative is Beyong Consequences, Logic and Control.

[lizblue]

Hiya jenn and everyone else. Thanks for the check in!

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?

We have just chosen our agency, completed our application and will be sending it in tomorrow.


2.) Who are you in the triad?

PAP


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!

This is all very new, but some thing that stand out: we really clicked with our agency in a great way. I love my SW - not sure if she will be the one I deal with for the remainder of the process, but I hope so since we really hit it off. We also just completed separate trans-racial adoption questionnaires. It was really illuminating and made me think, in a good way. I'm so excited lately I find myself wanting to talk about it all the time. I assume this is the honeymoon phase which may wear off, so I'll enjoy it while I can.


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?

Just coming to terms with ending our IF treatments. I am so very relieved by stopping the medical stuff. I thought I would be sadder than I am, but honestly, it feels good.



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?

I am too new to this process to answer, but I asked this very same question to someone who completed his adoption last year and he said that he wished they had started sooner. As someone who always "knew" this would probably be part of our plan, I kind of identify with this already.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?

I love to read. It's been a while since I've really gotten into a good book, but I am currently digging Tom Robbins' memoir "Tibetan Peach Pie." His life is exactly the way you think it would be!

pinkie, thanks for your advice. It confirms a decision we've recently made. There was a much smaller, much cheaper agency that we looked into thinking that it would be so much more affordable, but after hearing that they only placed 3 infants last year and work with 50 families, the math just didn't add up. The agency we ultimately went with is way more expensive, but very upfront about their costs and will never ask for more. I like knowing the approximate "max" it will wind up being.

Thanks for being here peeps.

[wishuponastar]

Feb 23, 2015 11:21:12 GMT -5 jenn said:

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?  We are chugging along with LO's adoption. His birth mother's revocation period has passed, we are told she is doing well. We have sent her pictures and letters but havent had contact with her since before he was born. His birth father has been MIA since before LO was born, so we are getting some help through the lawyers on that front.

2.) Who are you in the triad? Adoptive Mama- in the process


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! This is the last week home with LO- I am starting to feel sad about going back to work.


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?  Recent accomplishment? I have showered for 5 days in a row! LOL
QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?

[wishuponastar]

By the way, jenn, can we just talk about your weight loss?! 135 pounds- that's a whole person!!!! What are your secrets?

[perumom]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world? We are in the waiting to be matched stage. All paperwork has been presented and dossier is in country.


2.) Who are you in the triad? AP


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! Ugh waiting, waiting, waiting with no info from our agency or the country rep.


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? We finally made a decision on sibling groups:)



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? I wish someone had told me how quickly a year can go by while you are doing paperwork for an international adoption.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? I recently finished 2 books "We Need to Talk about Kevin" I DO NOT recommend it. Its Sad and scary. I also read "Sarah's Key", absolutely AMAZING.

[persianmaman]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?
Still in the homestudy phase of international adoption.

2.) Who are you in the triad?
PAP

3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!
Is bleh an option? I think we're getting our home study scheduled for Sat the 7th though, so hopefully this'll FINALLY be it.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?
DH has promised to take over more of the dossier work, and we're getting in touch with other families in our area also adopting from South Africa, which is exiting.


QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under-educated about the adoption/fostering life?

I wish someone had told me to just barrel through the paperwork and get it done. Been 7 months now on the first phase. ;_;

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?
I love cozy novels - newest being As Gouda as Dead. Just popcorn lit for me, but I looooove it.

[grannypantiesrock]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?
We have selected an agency, sent in some $$, and have our first meeting with SW on Wednesday.

2.) Who are you in the triad?
PAP


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!
YAY for starting the process. UGH because my employer is going to basically fire my department and rehire us as members of a smaller group that has a contract with them. This group has about 30 employees which means no FMLA. Perfect timing.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?
We're underachievers. Two Fridays ago I bought 4 different types of red wine and I've almost finished them. Go me.



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? I don't know yet because we're just starting out. I posted a question about cost and as a result of the feedback, I obtained a line of credit from our so we won't be short handed if placements happens sooner than expected.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? Every book I've downloaded has been a turd recently. The last great book I read was The Kitchen House last year.

[shemarie82]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world? We are waiting on our SW to complete the home study to be licensed for FTA

2.) Who are you in the triad? PAP


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! Just back from Las Vegas for a long weekend. I was hoping to come back refreshed, right now I am just exhausted!

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? I had the gastric sleeve last year, and being able to walk as much as I did this last weekend was a HUGE accomplishment. I often get down on myself because I am only down about 70 pounds, but it is proof to me that when I finally do become a mother, I will be so much better off than what I was even a year ago. There was not one time that I had to sit down this weekend nor did I have people standing around waiting for me to catch up!

QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? There is a lot of hurry up and wait. Our SW told us that she could have us licensed in 30 days, it has been close to 5 months and we are still waiting on her to do her part.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? Unfortunately, I can't even think of a good book that I would recommend lately.

[chicago]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world? Waiting ... 33 days now

2.) Who are you in the triad? PAP

3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! Nothing exciting this past week. Although it looks like 3 families were added to the waiting families page for our agency.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? We got through some serious decluttering this past week. I'm also back to eating healthy, hope to lose some of the weight I have put on the past few months.

QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? I'm still early in the process but I'm glad that we did a lot of research early to understand the Triad. I continue to read up to understand each side and to understand how each person can be affected differently. I'm hoping that it will help us to prepare.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? All have been adopted related recently. I just ordered Breastfeeding without Birthing. I would love to be able to do this, but not sure it's possible given that I don't know when we will be matched and it's difficult to do the preparation while working.

Hope everyone has a great week!

[jenn]

shemarie82 - Congrats on losing 70 pounds! It's not easy - I know!! - So that is an awesome accomplishment!

wishuponastar -- thank you so much! Mainly, it's all about counting calories. It sucks, but I count every single calorie I eat - good/bad/indifferent - it all gets counted! And I try to Zumba (at home on my Wii- SO not ready for a class yet!) like 4-5 times a week.

Mind if I AW a little bit more than I already have?? haha 

[pinkie]

Holy crap Jenn!!! That's amazing - you should be really proud.

[theatrepal]

Jenn!!! That's amazing! Way to go.

[jenn]

Thank you so much!!!

[roxy]

Wow jenn,that is awesome! You AW that up as much as you want.

[theatrepal]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?
DIA

2.) Who are you in the triad?
PAP

3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!
YAY - Our study group finally starts next week. Our agency waits until they have 8-10 waiting families and then starts a support group. I can't wait to connect with others from our agency.
UGH - We are waiting...waiting, waiting, waiting.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?
We found a 0-3 months Packer onsie on sale. It's really the little things...I now have something to dress my kiddo in


QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?

That you will answer the same question a million times from people. You'll get really good at explaining the process to others. You should come up with the quick I don't want to talk about this today answer and a I'd like to share today answer for how does adoption work and why are you adopting.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?

Latest John Sandford, Virgil Flowers novel. They entire series is great!

[perumom]

OooooH I forgot a YAY!! The editor of the website AmericaAdopts.com reached out to me through a blogger friend and asked me to do guest post for their site and I did and it was featured last week:) I was excited about that! There is really not much going on so the little things excite me :-)

[grannypantiesrock]

jenn, That's amazing!

[jenn]

grannypantiesrock BEST. GIF. EVER. Thank you!!

[drloretta]

Feb 23, 2015 11:21:12 GMT -5 jenn said:

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?  Domestic infant adoption


2.) Who are you in the triad? Adoptive parent


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! Pretty well. Everyone has recovered from their illnesses, and DD just "graduated" from tumbling class. She also just did vacation week camp and LOVED it!


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? See above



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? Probably just reassurance that we didn't know that much to start, and we'd learn a lot in the process. My education mostly consists of forwarding FB statuses, LOL

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?  Knitting Yarns, a collection of short stories by knitters, some of whom are celebrities/authors 

[soadchik]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world? DIA


2.) Who are you in the triad? Adoptive Parent


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them! Zoe started crawling backwards and takes a few crawling steps forward every now and then.


4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family? Finalized adoption on 2/11



QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life? Our friends were just matched, so we are helping them with any questions they have.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately? I am currently reading/listening to Rook by Daniel O Malley and it is pretty intersting so far. I just finished The Ruby Circle by Richelle Mead. It was good. I love most of the books by her.

[wishuponastar]

jenn,  Like roxy, said AW as much as you want!  That is AMAZING!!!!!

I think I need you as my coach- I need a serious kick in the butt.

[chele]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?Fostering, and hoping to foster-to-adopt one day.


2.) Who are you in the triad? Foster mom


3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!
Yay: Girls will begin unsupervised visits on the weekends after this weekend.
Nay: I just paid for Saturday gymnastics classes.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?

QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? I mean it when I say, 'fostering is hard to do!'

[redandblue]

1.) What process are you/have you been involved with in the fostering/adopting world?

We are currently in the process to adopt or foster to adopt through our local CAS. We are half way through classes and home study simultaneously. We are hoping to be approved by the end of March EEKK!!

2.) Who are you in the triad?

We are Pre Adoptive Parents/Pre foster to adopt

3.) How are things going lately? Any YAYs or UGHs happening? Let's hear them!

OMG things are going SO fast!!!! Like great and amazing, but SO much quicker than expected! We are told we should be approved by the end of March (when we originally contacted the agency in December we were told it will take a year!). We have 2 more visits for our home study, and then we need to focus on our profile book. I have ZERO idea how we are going to have our conversations about narrowing down our scope.

4) What's the most recent accomplishment for you/your family?

I think the most recent accomplishment is all of us getting together to make our home ready for approval, which has included a few renos (flooring, which arrived last Thursday! Woohoo for new flooring!!!) We have also been able to begin redoing our main stair case! We are ALL very excited by the process. I fully anticipate the 'after phase' will be very challenging. I have no clue what to expect for the matching phase, including the waiting etc. We have completed both individual interviews for me and DH, as well as a first family interview (and my amazing DS put away most of his teenaged moods for the bigger picture! When asked what he was going to do with a new LO he said he will be their BFF! My heart melted!)

QOTW:
Adoption Related - What is something that you wish someone had told you early on in your process? If you have been matched/placed, how are you able to use your knowledge to educate those who are under- educated about the adoption/fostering life?

So far I'm not sure. I wish I had more people to be able to share what it is like to adopt through CAS, where the parental rights are terminated, and what it is actually like to navigate openness with family. I am hoping we will have more opportunity to connect with more people through our training, but would be nice to get to know some more people's stories.

Non-AR - What is your favorite book that you have read lately?

I haven't read too much lately. Currently I am reading Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum, which I am quite enjoying!

jenn,OMG AW ALL you want!!! Good for you for all the hard work! Congrats! You must feel very PROUD!
jwinct,I hear you about the crib! I have to look at the possibility of a new crib too, but we haven't decided on an age range yet, so don't want to spend too much money. I am keeping my eye out for a transition crib that can transition to a full bed if needed, and then I would only need a mattress.
roxy,I'm so sorry you are having a frustrating time with your SW's. I have to be completely honest, but that whole process worries me. I have a close friend who works for our local CAS has told me some of the 'games' we will need to play depending on who our SW will be assigned to us following our approval. It makes me SO crazy!! I honestly don't know how I will be able to play any game, but I will try my hardest to ensure to expand our family and meet our future LO!
lizblue,Congrats on your feeling of excitement in this process. I am still early on, but I feel like I hope that you don't loss that at all!! I also understand and appreciate your process of acceptance of your IF. Honestly I don't know if DH and I are completely 100% there yet. We are definitely okay with no longer trying or having medical intervention, but I don't know if I have honestly, totally accepted the whole idea of never being able to carry another biological child.
wishuponastar,YAY for showering multiple days in a row!!! Boo for going back to work soo soon
perumom,Congrats on the decision of sibling groups. We are still up in the air about that. I am a little more open, but I think that DH I worried more about building attachments with multiple children at the same time.
grannypantiesrock, It's important to celebrate all of the successes!
shemarie82, congrats on your loss!!! 70lbs is definitely a lot!!

[lizblue]

Hey redandblue, I don't know if it's possible for us to say that we are 100% accepting of the idea of not having biological children either. It's a grieving process for sure, and one that is not at all linear. Some days my excitement about adopting completely eclipses any grief, but not all days. But you and I sound like we are in agreement that we don't miss IF treatments. At all.

Sayonara vag cam!