The things we say to our babies when no one's around to hear

[4littlebears]

If you say something to an infant, and no one's around to hear you... was it even said?

I just told S, "Yes, yes. I know you need this chocolate. Chocolate milk is important to your diet."

I confessed, now I want to hear yours! 

[maebb]

This is not something I said to an infant, but related to your post - DH bought me vodka and Bailey's. He (jokingly) said we should make a White Russian for DS2 because it would help him sleep better, and I joked that I kind of already did because I put a splash of Bailey's in my coffee, and maybe that got mixed into the breast milk.

But what I say to DS2 - I tell him all the time that he's a beautiful boy, and I probably wouldn't say that around other people because it sounds conceited.

[shannjohnston]

To DD, "I know you don't know this, but you are really tired and you need to go the fuck to sleep". In the nicest possible way of course.

[hollydfromtn]

I talk to DS all the time about anything and everything. I told him today that I was more than happy to snuggle him all he wants right now bc one day he won't want to be snuggled anymore and that's when he'll be getting a little baby brother or sister.

[nachomomma]

I tell him he's my favorite. Of course, I say that to his brother too.

[lexishay]

I make songs up all the time. I basically just change the words to something along the words of like "mommy mommy loving on my mommy." (To the music of the narwhal song on the sprint commercial. I'm embarrassed that that's my employer lol

[kml218]

lexishay I make up songs too. They are usually to whatever song pops into my head at the time, but Z seems to like when use a silly opera voice. Earlier today I heard Heartbreaker from Mariah Carey so ended up singing to her about not peeing on the living room floor in that tune (my dumbass didn't remember to grab a diaper from her room before I took off and rolled up the poopy one).

[lexishay]

Feb 23, 2015 23:57:33 GMT -5 kml218 said:

lexishay I make up songs too. They are usually to whatever song pops into my head at the time, but Z seems to like when use a silly opera voice. Earlier today I heard Heartbreaker from Mariah Carey so ended up singing to her about not peeing on the living room floor in that tune (my dumbass didn't remember to grab a diaper from her room before I took off and rolled up the poopy one).

My DS looks at me like I'm crazy when I sing to him. Haha

[hstrawberry]

A common theme is poop talk while changing dd's diapers. Such as "oooo thank you for giving mommy a present! Mommy loves when poop gets sprayed all over her hands. Its cheaper than the spa" - said in the sweetest happiest voice.

Also making up my own lyrics for songs. She loves music

[ashlantic]

Dh and I both make up songs too! I narrate what I'm doing with lo often as well. I may have used "shart" and "ass disaster" to describe diaper changes... there might even be an "ass disaster" song.

[hazelnut]

I sing songs, both previously existing and free styling, I tell her stories about people, and I always tell her how pretty and perfect she is. When she has a dirty diaper I call her Hazel poopy pants or anything else I might be amusing myself with at the time.

[edvent]

I told him the other night, while watching The Bachelor, "ok baby it's important that you learn now that bitches be crazy, and that you stay with mommy forever." I also have a lot of cheesy pet names for him that is never use in public (chunkin - chunky pumpkin, sweetness boy, etc...).

[4littlebears]

That's good advice edvent, especially the stay with mommy forever.

[hazelnut]

edvent My husband and I told LO that she needs to grow up and be like Becca during the Bachelor. Every week we've been telling her who not to be like, so this week we sent a more positive message.

[rodiesmum]

I sing made up songs too! A lot that even DD#1 has alrdy memorized it since i also sing it to her before.

I also hav a lot of nick names for LO and DD1. Haha

As for what i tell her when it is just the two of us -- i also tell her that she is so beautiful and that i love her so so much

[tkr7c9]

My DH tells LO that she is grounded until she is 30 or he describes the type of guys she isn't going to be allowed to date ever.

[raven]

Whenever LO had an especially dirty diaper, I ask her if she had fun "unleashing the demons".
The other evening, we came home from dinner and we had to park quite far from our building because someone took up 2 spots. The guy was just shooting in his car, smoking. When we walked by (I was carrying car seat), I told her "See that? That's a rude d-bag. Yeah, you'll discover the world is full of them. Can you say asshole?"
Not my proudest moment, but I was upset.

[raven]

Feb 23, 2015 22:57:50 GMT -5 hollydfromtn said:

I talk to DS all the time about anything and everything. I told him today that I was more than happy to snuggle him all he wants right now bc one day he won't want to be snuggled anymore and that's when he'll be getting a little baby brother or sister.

I say that about snuggling with my LO all the time. DH says I'm spoiling her, I say I'm getting my fill of cuteness while I still can.

[CoffeeOnIce]

I don't know how I started calling it this, but when DD is really hungry I always tell her its ok honey, I'm gonna give you the milkies! Like its going to calm her down more if i give it a cute name while she's waiting. Then I gag cause I can't stop referring to it as milkies lol. And there's always a hint of an accent.

[Deleted]

When Owen farts as I change his diaper I exclaim "whoa loaded gun!"

[grumpycat88]

I have many unflattering nicknames for the dictator (other than the dictator and grumpy kitten): pooper scooper, stinky baby, stink stink, etc. Today I learned all six verses of the itsy bitsy spider and made up hand motions to them. He loved it. I would rather not repeat the performance in front of anyone. I sing to him and I won't do that in front of people, yet at least.

[tkr7c9]

When LO poops and I take her to change her diaper I always say: Someone is a stinky butt! (in a cutesy voice)

[hazelnut]

When LO is super hungry and screaming, sometimes when I'm feeling sassy, before I feed her I tell her to "go suck a nipple."

[shehulk723]

One night, during a particularly bad evening of crying and screaming, I told her "ok, if you don't stop crying soon, mommy is going to do some shots of vodka and then breastfeed you." Not to worry though, it was only a joke.

[raven]

When LO gets fussy while DH is holding her, he asks her "what is your deal, huh? Time for you to get a job. "