T&Ps please!

[mcp6286]

My crazy SIL had her baby last night, an adorable baby girl named Kenzie Joy. I'm asking for T&Ps for this sweet little one, especially for her health these next few weeks. My BIL told my husband last week that their midwife was concerned because the house is such a mess (i.e. disgustingly unliveable) and nothing was prepared, and that she was considering not delivering the baby because she didn't feel right bringing it into such an unhealthy environment (they always do home births). My DH was at their house for 6 hours two days before the baby was born, doing what he could to get the place cleaned up, and when he came home he sounded asthmatic and was totally gross (watery eyes, congestion, sore throat, hacking cough, etc); he was taking cold and allergy medication for the next 24 hours to combat his symptoms because he felt so terrible. We are SO scared for a poor little baby fighting to survive in this environment, especially since my BIL didn't do anything about it even after the midwife expressed concern. Ugh...it makes me sad just thinking about it. Wish I could be excited about my new niece but the whole situation is just heartbreaking. T&Ps would be so appreciated!

[alayne926]

Oh my gosh, I remember when you told us about their house the first time. I hope that they can get their act together for this sweet little one.

[Deleted]

Oh no! This makes me so sad. Thoughts and prayers that they get their act together for their little one.

[veggiemo]

I remember you telling us the original story too. How sad My thoughts are with your family and the new baby.

[bruunk]

Oh dear! I'm sending T&Ps - I hope this all works out. Are you still thinking about taking in the nieces and nephews (if memory serves, weren't you discussing that?)

[Deleted]

This is so sad! I remember your earlier post about your in-laws. Sending lots of positive thoughts to your little niece and hoping that everything turns out OK!

[nicolec78]

How sad. I remember you telling us about them before. They are lucky to have you.

[hb4]

They are so lucky to have you and your husband. Thoughts and prayers sent your nieces way. I remember your last post about your husband helping them clean.

[mrskblack11]

Sending T&Ps. I hope everything works out.

[tiffbot]

Wow, I remember you bringing them up before. That is so sad, I hope everything works out fine.

[Ana0927]

I am so sorry. T&P that things get resolved soon!

[wormgerm]

That poor sweet baby. I know doing so opens a can of worms but at what point do you call CPS? If he came home that sick I can't imagine what damage it will do to the baby.

[ladysif]

So sorry, and that poor baby. Will the midwife be back again soon? I'm curious to see if she reports them to give them the kick they may need as I'd think she'd be required to report if things are so bad. Your DH is a saint, but at the same time is enabling and he can't keep it up forever. Hope all will be well for the poor thing!

[Deleted]

As a medical professional, isn't the midwife a mandatory reporter if she has safety concerns for the child? I remember you telling us this story before. It doesn't sound like things are going the right direction. I hope someone intervenes for the sake of the baby.

[dmoney]

Feb 24, 2015 14:37:29 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

As a medical professional, isn't the midwife a mandatory reporter if she has safety concerns for the child? I remember you telling us this story before. It doesn't sound like things are going the right direction. I hope someone intervenes for the sake of the baby.

I am pretty sure all medical professionals are considered mandatory reporters, meaning if they see something that is going to put the child in harms way they have to report it... Give me your SIL's address ill call it in!  I hope the baby gets all of the help she needs and they get that house cleaned up fast! 

[kemdupuis]

Definitely sending T and Ps her way. Poor little babe just needs a shot in life! I hope they get their acts together and clean up!

[herbavein]

T&Ps - what an awful situation to have to witness. I hope they get it together for the sake of the baby!

[flbabychin]

I'll definitely be sending T&Ps in their direction for their family and baby! I too recall you talking about this before and how your husband has helped to clean their house. As a mandated reporter myself, I am surprised the midwife didn't report the conditions of the house to the state's Dept of Child/Family Services. I will be keeping you and them in my thoughts!!

[honeybunches101]

How awful! Please call CPS, no innocent baby deserves to grow up in those conditions!

[brennaz]

T&Ps for all their kiddos!! Ugh, I don't understand that kind of disdain. I mean, my house gets messy, but not CPS messy! I ditto the hope that someone calls it in. No child deserves that

[mcp6286]

Thanks ladies! I was also surprised that the midwife didn't seem to have to report the situation...honestly the rest of our family was hoping she would. She's from their church though, so I guess she has some vested interest that may be clouding her judgement. DH told his brother that they are going to sit down next week and go over our family's list of criteria for NOT calling CPS on them. It sounds so terrible but my BIL does not seem to be capable of standing up to my SILS unless we threaten him, so the way I see it he's bringing it on himself.

@pcrunk yeah DH was there a couple weeks ago cleaning the place. That's how out of control it is and how little my SIL does all day. I totally get that some people love their pets and can keep a house clean with animals as a part of it, but SIL can't. One of our "demands" on the list is that she move all the animals and animal-related activities out to one of the other buildings on their property. That would eliminate about 80% of the mess.

We are still planning to try to get custody of at least the two youngest (4 yr old and newborn nieces). My other BIL and his fiancée live near my older niece and nephew's school, so they volunteered to take on those two. My 4 yr old niece, who obv has no idea what is going on, said to me on Fri night during a sleepover at my house, "Aunt Meghan, I wish I could live here and be Hayley's sister when she's born. We could all play together. My mom never plays with me." My heart just broke.

[andreap525]

Oh my word. I, too, remember the stories you've shared about your BIL and SIL's house and your saint of a husband. I really, really hope those kids can be somewhere healthy and safe and that precious little Kenzie can spend her earliest days and grow up in a place where she can thrive. Hugs to you for having to see her and her siblings go through that kind of life

[alayne926]

Feb 24, 2015 15:46:48 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

Thanks ladies! I was also surprised that the midwife didn't seem to have to report the situation...honestly the rest of our family was hoping she would. She's from their church though, so I guess she has some vested interest that may be clouding her judgement. DH told his brother that they are going to sit down next week and go over our family's list of criteria for NOT calling CPS on them. It sounds so terrible but my BIL does not seem to be capable of standing up to my SILS unless we threaten him, so the way I see it he's bringing it on himself.

@pcrunk yeah DH was there a couple weeks ago cleaning the place. That's how out of control it is and how little my SIL does all day. I totally get that some people love their pets and can keep a house clean with animals as a part of it, but SIL can't. One of our "demands" on the list is that she move all the animals and animal-related activities out to one of the other buildings on their property. That would eliminate about 80% of the mess.

We are still planning to try to get custody of at least the two youngest (4 yr old and newborn nieces). My other BIL and his fiancée live near my older niece and nephew's school, so they volunteered to take on those two. My 4 yr old niece, who obv has no idea what is going on, said to me on Fri night during a sleepover at my house, "Aunt Meghan, I wish I could live here and be Hayley's sister when she's born. We could all play together. My mom never plays with me." My heart just broke.

That is so heartbreaking, mcp6286

[leenziepops]

Oh gosh. How gross. T&Ps for Kenzie

[Deleted]

Call it in yourself. Reporters are always kept anonymous. At this point enough people have been over there that they can't assume it was you.

[mcp6286]

Feb 24, 2015 13:16:31 GMT -5 pbubblegum said:

Lots of thoughts and prayers for that little girl.
I remember your previous post about your BIL and SIL, the situation is heartbreaking. How are the other kids doing?

The older two are doing ok, considering. My 12 yr old niece is happily oblivious. My nephew is having a lot of trouble in school and my DH said that the past few times he's been there, my nephew has asked for hw help and his parents just tell him to "figure it out". This kills me because I'M A TEACHER! There's no reason for him to be having any trouble when I could come over twice a week and help him, but BIL/SIL won't let me. Grrrr!!! My 4 yr old niece is the one who breaks my heart...she's way smarter than most kids her age and is processing her parents' neglect and disinterest in a way that most preschoolers wouldn't. Thanks for asking!

@jimbobcooter come April 1 that's exactly what I'm going to do. I promised my DH I'd give him one month to try to motivate his brother and then I'm done with this nonsense. FIL feels the same way; in fact he may beat me to calling CPS.

[ladysif]

Feb 24, 2015 15:58:38 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

Call it in yourself. Reporters are always kept anonymous. At this point enough people have been over there that they can't assume it was you.

Yup, this. You don't even have to identify yourself period, you can remain anonymous. Otherwise consider bumping up the timeline on your discussion and having it now... that first week is really fragile, I'd be terrified of dehydration, etc. Mom sounds like she's pretty apathetic and that's scary. And frankly, your custody plan doesn't have a leg to stand on if you don't have an established foundation for need, and that is where CPS comes in. 

[wink568]

Oh gosh, that sounds like such a terrible living situation for those poor kids. I hope it all works out and they start improving their situation.

[stinybean]

I also remember your original post about your in-laws. All of my prayers for little one! I hope through your love and yh's that this baby thrives. ((Hugs))

[mcp6286]

Feb 24, 2015 16:11:05 GMT -5 ladysif said:

Feb 24, 2015 15:58:38 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

Call it in yourself. Reporters are always kept anonymous. At this point enough people have been over there that they can't assume it was you.

Yup, this. You don't even have to identify yourself period, you can remain anonymous. Otherwise consider bumping up the timeline on your discussion and having it now... that first week is really fragile, I'd be terrified of dehydration, etc. Mom sounds like she's pretty apathetic and that's scary. And frankly, your custody plan doesn't have a leg to stand on if you don't have an established foundation for need, and that is where CPS comes in. 

Yeah, we've been documenting the conditions through photos and videos for a while. I've got a family friend who worked for CPS for a long time and we've been consulting with her for a couple weeks on this issue. FIL and I really want to do smthng now but my DH and his mom are convinced that now that his brother finally admits that there's a problem, they can empower him to stand up for his kids. I have a feeling FIL will call it in after he goes over there tonight to meet the baby. This BIL isn't his biological son (MIL had him at 16 yrs old) so my FIL doesn't have the "must save my son" complex that DH and MIL do.