cagoldi my in home is actually run by a husband and wife. Occasionally their adult children will come over but I don't think they interact with the kids. The daycare is in the basement and I don't think they go down there. One time one of their sisters came and stayed with them for a week. that bothered me because they didn't introduce her to me, I came to pick H up and a random purple haired lady was holding her.
@mx2 hugs hun, don't be so hard on yourself! You are doing everything that you can and I'm sure Claire is learning and thriving! Luke will grow out of some of his attachment, it will all end up fine. I know we want to set the best foundation for our kids, but try not to stress too much about the curriculum for Claire. She will be prepared for school, and will do great! Take care of yourself too. Two hours is not enough, especially on a regular basis. I'm here if you want to talk more, just text or PM.
Post by 88sharonlee on Feb 26, 2015 18:20:32 GMT -5
cagoldi my DCP is in home and her husband has his own business and is around in the evenings and days off. Yes at first I was a little off put by this but he's a great guy, father if three girls, and since it's just the one woman I'm glad she has another pair if hands occasionally- so in short you have to be ok with the person, but otherwise it's part of the deal with in home. He is background checked.
cagoldi we use a center, but at the in home we considered first her husband is a firefighter, so he would have been around during the day some of the time. Honestly, it wouldn't have bothered me. I guess I feel that if I trust someone enough to watch Layla in their home, then I would hope that I could trust their judgment on their significant other. Granted I would want to meet him to get my own feel for him though. Plus, it's his home, I couldn't expect him to never be allowed home while she had daycare kids there.
@mx2 First of all, stop all that self deprecating talk! You are an amazing mother and love your children fiercely. It sounds like Claire has a huge personality and is quite advanced for her age socially and verbally from the stories that you tell. She will do fabulous whenever she starts school, I am certain. Second, your 15 month old is attached to his mother. Since when did this become a problem? It is a good thing and very normal and age appropriate. He knows that you are dependable. He loves you and you love him and you are a source of comfort and safety to him. He needs someone to fill those needs and that someone is you. That's a good thing. Third, go to sleep! Two hours of sleep doesn't look pretty on anyone and will definitely screw with your mind and your emotions. Take some benedryl and tell YH that whatever happens tonight is his responsibility.
Post by 88sharonlee on Feb 26, 2015 18:30:57 GMT -5
To add: On a few occasions when DCP has an appointment or something she will ask/offer for her DH to watch B. We always say no thanks and don't bring her that day or pick up early. I'm five with him being around but not watching B alone. He's not licensed or trained. But some of the other parents have allowed this I think.
We use a center, but maybe I'm an outlier in that, as long as the husband/other person who is around was background checked (just like any employee would be), I don't see what the issue is?
Is it that he's a man? Would you be uncomfortable if your DCP hired a male employee?
To me, this is no different than any other person who would be taking care of your kid. I don't "know" E's teachers at DC -- but I've met them, I've watched how they interact with the other kids, and my kid is happy there so I assume they do a good job caring for him.
Now, I wouldn't want to just show up to DC one day and find out that someone who didn't normally work there was in my kid's room for the day, because it's not their job. That would go for family members of a home DCP, too.
cagoldi I get what you're saying, we considered an in home day care and ultimately decided against it because we have no backup care in town in case the sitter got sick or took time off. I would probably be okay if I knew who would be in the home, got to meet and talk to them, and saw proof of background checks.
@mx2 you are a GREAT mom! I'm sorry you're feeling down.
@mx2 I totally agree with everyone. You're doing a great job. A kiddo that is so dependent is stressing but he'll grow out of this and be confident and independent because you were there for him. Same goes with his sister. You're taking on a lot and doing it all on little sleep. Do your best to take care of yourself and get a few more hours of rest if you can. Stay strong mama, you'll get through this.
Just wanted to say thanks to you all for talking about the 15 month check up. I totally forgot to schedule ours so that's first on the to do list for tomorrow.
Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. Sometimes I just get down. I feel like when I worked I got commendations and knew I was doing a good job. Its so hard to tell if I'm doing this right.
@mx2 I have felt the same way. I've always gotten a lot of satisfaction from working, and I liked the positive reinforcement when I successfully completed a project or pleased a client. I feel like I'm supposed to have all the answers b/c I'm home and with B all the time. I find myself getting frustrated with DH if I float an idea or question by him and he doesn't have an answer or suggestion, either. It's like, "one of us HAS to know what we are supposed to do right now!"
But hang in there, you're a terrific mom. My dad always says, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all" and it's so true...everything seems much worse when you're tired. Hope you can get some rest tonight.
We use a center, but maybe I'm an outlier in that, as long as the husband/other person who is around was background checked (just like any employee would be), I don't see what the issue is?
Is it that he's a man? Would you be uncomfortable if your DCP hired a male employee?
To me, this is no different than any other person who would be taking care of your kid. I don't "know" E's teachers at DC -- but I've met them, I've watched how they interact with the other kids, and my kid is happy there so I assume they do a good job caring for him.
Now, I wouldn't want to just show up to DC one day and find out that someone who didn't normally work there was in my kid's room for the day, because it's not their job. That would go for family members of a home DCP, too.
**TRIGGER WARNING**
The background check is little to no comfort to me because sexual predators usually operate for a long time before they are caught, if they ever are at all. Just because nothing raises red flags and they are not registered doesn't mean they are okay to be around my dude, it just means they weren't caught yet.
Yes, it's cynical.
Yes, honestly, it's because they are men. There are some men I know that I would trust to watch A, but I need more than just some good references and a handful of brief interactions to feel comfortable with that.
If my DCP hired a male, I doubt it would bother me. The husband of the Director at our center is there pretty often, popping into the office to bring her coffee or lunch or whatever, and I think nothing of it. I feel like there would not be much opportunity for inappropriate interactions due to the number of employees, security cameras, etc. Not impossible for anything to happen, obviously, but they would really have to go out of their way to try to create situations where he could be harmed.
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