First Loss from PAIF
Feb 27, 2015 19:04:55 GMT -5
Post by vballbaby on Feb 27, 2015 19:04:55 GMT -5
Hi ladies, I think I'm ready to introduce myself here as I could use some new friends here as I continue my journey. I got pregnant my first IVF try by some miracle, having only one egg fertilize and it stuck (they had suggested we convert to IUI since I had two lead follies). 6 week ultrasound we saw the heartbeat and everything looked good. Yesterday I was 8wk 4 days and went in for my 8 week ultrasound and no heartbeat. Dr. says it was probably lost 3-4 days ago based on its size, and probably chromosome related as most of these are and especially at my age. But everything was there as it should be, just no hb.
What a shocker and a complete gut wrench. We went into the u/s feeling really good, as my m/s symptoms had finally kicked up over the past week and I was the cute little pregnant wife turning her nose up at most foods, smells, etc and DH bringing me home treats from the grocery store. DH also finally became excited after seeing the hb at six weeks after being extremely cautiously optimistic and guarded up until that point and we had both girl and boy names picked out. We both cried a lot yesterday and some today as well. After 7 years of being together, that is the first and only time I've ever seen my husband sob which is tough to see. At the same time, I'm glad he's allowing himself to grieve.
I know you can all relate to my pain. It's something I could never really understand or completely empathize with until now and my heart goes out to all of you. After a lot of thought (and reading a lot of stories here) I've decided that I'm going to have a D&C and it'll probably be Tues or Wed of next week. I am meeting with my OB Monday and he's going to do another ultrasound just to be sure and for my own piece of mind. My RE couldn't do the procedure until next Friday and I don't want to wait that long. My RE actually called my OB yesterday to give him the news and to let him know I may be calling him which was nice (they used to be partners and are just across the hall).
Well, here I am tonight, still fighting tears and wondering why it had to be me. We are supposed to attend a very old friend's wedding next Saturday and my DH's best friend and his wife (who is 22 weeks pregnant) are due to arrive next Saturday to stay for a few nights. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion of best friends celebrating the fact that they would have children born 3 months apart, and now what. We are unsure if they're still coming, of course they've told us whatever we decide they fully support. I just don't know how I feel yet, or how I'll feel next week. I don't want to be a debbie downer for too long, but I want time to take care of me and to grieve.
I don't know if it'll be a glass of wine or a xanex from my medicine cabinet that's been in there for like four years, but it's going to be one or the other tonight. Thanks for listening.
What a shocker and a complete gut wrench. We went into the u/s feeling really good, as my m/s symptoms had finally kicked up over the past week and I was the cute little pregnant wife turning her nose up at most foods, smells, etc and DH bringing me home treats from the grocery store. DH also finally became excited after seeing the hb at six weeks after being extremely cautiously optimistic and guarded up until that point and we had both girl and boy names picked out. We both cried a lot yesterday and some today as well. After 7 years of being together, that is the first and only time I've ever seen my husband sob which is tough to see. At the same time, I'm glad he's allowing himself to grieve.
I know you can all relate to my pain. It's something I could never really understand or completely empathize with until now and my heart goes out to all of you. After a lot of thought (and reading a lot of stories here) I've decided that I'm going to have a D&C and it'll probably be Tues or Wed of next week. I am meeting with my OB Monday and he's going to do another ultrasound just to be sure and for my own piece of mind. My RE couldn't do the procedure until next Friday and I don't want to wait that long. My RE actually called my OB yesterday to give him the news and to let him know I may be calling him which was nice (they used to be partners and are just across the hall).
Well, here I am tonight, still fighting tears and wondering why it had to be me. We are supposed to attend a very old friend's wedding next Saturday and my DH's best friend and his wife (who is 22 weeks pregnant) are due to arrive next Saturday to stay for a few nights. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion of best friends celebrating the fact that they would have children born 3 months apart, and now what. We are unsure if they're still coming, of course they've told us whatever we decide they fully support. I just don't know how I feel yet, or how I'll feel next week. I don't want to be a debbie downer for too long, but I want time to take care of me and to grieve.
I don't know if it'll be a glass of wine or a xanex from my medicine cabinet that's been in there for like four years, but it's going to be one or the other tonight. Thanks for listening.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you're going through after trying so long and going through IVF.
