My UO: you shouldn't post your condolences on a loss reintro if it's more than a day or two after it was posted. If you were that close to the person PM them. I'm sure they could live without the reminder of their loss from having that thread dragged back to the top of the board and/or wouldn't be overly upset that people they don't know didn't say "sorry for your loss" days after the fact.
Not speaking from experience, just getting this show on the road lol
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The thing is, you aren't reminding them of their loss by offering your condolences. Because they haven't forgotten about it or even come close to moving on, especially after just a few days. One of the most frustrating things is when people stop acknowledging your loss after awhile because they are afraid to "remind" you of it. I've thought about my losses every day for the past year. Several months after my second loss, my grandmother sent me a text just to check in and say she was thinking of me. That text meant the world to me.
My UO: you shouldn't post your condolences on a loss reintro if it's more than a day or two after it was posted. If you were that close to the person PM them. I'm sure they could live without the reminder of their loss from having that thread dragged back to the top of the board and/or wouldn't be overly upset that people they don't know didn't say "sorry for your loss" days after the fact.
Not speaking from experience, just getting this show on the road lol
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The thing is, you aren't reminding them of their loss by offering your condolences. Because they haven't forgotten about it or even come close to moving on, especially after just a few days. One of the most frustrating things is when people stop acknowledging your loss after awhile because they are afraid to "remind" you of it. I've thought about my losses every day for the past year. Several months after my second loss, my grandmother sent me a text just to check in and say she was thinking of me. That text meant the world to me.
GET OUTTA MY HEAD - I was JUST going to say exactly this. I still think about my son every single day, and it's been almost 3 months. You're not reminding me, because inside, I'm always thinking of him. A month ago my BFF sent me a letter along the lines of "we're still thinking about your baby and mourning him" and it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
I am very fair-skinned as well, but I have dark eyelashes, so I hadn't really thought of it this way. I can imagine I would feel the same way as you, especially when fucksticks feel the need to comment.
I have a friend who has the same issue and she gets her eye lashes dyed. I can't imagine doing the same, because I feel like it would just burn my eye lashes off lol!
This just makes me nervous... I would be more concerned about the potential eye injuries than I would my eyelashes. Although admittedly I have no idea how this is done but it is the first thing that comes to my mind.
I hadn't thought about it, but I agree with you. There's really no need to dredge it up again.
Hmmmm... disagree. My loss occurred on theotherplace, but I read every single condolence. A lot of them came in while I was laying in bed recovering from my surgery and crying (2-3 days after posting), and I appreciated every single one. I especially appreciated people dredging up the thread a week later or messaging me even if they didn't really know me, because it made me feel like my baby wasn't forgotten. A lot of people IRL didn't do that bc they hadn't experienced that type of loss and thought dredging it up again would be painful, but for me it was an amazing show of support.
+1 this. I read and appreciated every single condolence message, including the late ones. It didn't dredge up anything for me, because I was thinking about it and grieving constantly anyway (and pretty much still am, two weeks later). It's a good thing to remember that, outside of forums like this that are dedicated to TTC/pregnancy, people in real life don't talk much about pregnancy loss, even though it's so extremely common. For me, that's been one of the hardest things about it - it's losing someone you love and having a medical ordeal all at once, and everyone's hush-hush about it, like it's something to be ashamed of. And you WANT to talk about it - at least I do - because, at least for a while, it's probably going to be in the forefront of your mind anyway. That's why a lot of us put it in our signatures, I think. Aside from wanting to remember and honor the babies we lost, it's good to acknowledge that this happened, and that there's no reason not to talk about it.
Having said all that, though, I'm sure there are also plenty of women who would prefer not to talk about it at all, and that's fine, too. It's just that personally, those messages meant a lot to me, and I didn't mind at all that they kept coming up.
ETA: Just noticed that PP's said just about exactly what I said earlier, only more eloquently. That's what I get for typing long ass answers!
Post by squeakyduck on Mar 5, 2015 11:08:08 GMT -5
Leaf blowers should not be allowed. -It's better to leave the grass cuttings than to bag them up and put them in a landfill. -Gas powered means emissions and use of a non-renewable resource for a totally unnecessary purpose. (Because remember, it's better to leave the grass to mulch. So it's doubly bad for the environment) -They blow grass cuttings all over my car. -The noise makes me fucking insane.
Leaf blowers should not be allowed. -It's better to leave the grass cuttings than to bag them up and put them in a landfill. -Gas powered means emissions and use of a non-renewable resource for a totally unnecessary purpose. (Because remember, it's better to leave the grass to mulch. So it's doubly bad for the environment) -They blow grass cuttings all over my car. -The noise makes me fucking insane.
My neighbor is obsessed with blowing her leaves. Every Saturday or Sunday morning, she wakes up early and blows leaves for a solid 2 hours starting around 8am.
Leaf blowers should not be allowed. -It's better to leave the grass cuttings than to bag them up and put them in a landfill. -Gas powered means emissions and use of a non-renewable resource for a totally unnecessary purpose. (Because remember, it's better to leave the grass to mulch. So it's doubly bad for the environment) -They blow grass cuttings all over my car. -The noise makes me fucking insane.
My neighbor is obsessed with blowing her leaves. Every Saturday or Sunday morning, she wakes up early and blows leaves for a solid 2 hours starting around 8am.
I'd tell her to fucking blow herself. There's no reason to blow leaves. Wild trees manage without us to clean up their crap. #leavetheleaves. Eta: forgot letters in my leaf blower noise induced rage.
Post by heatherj9603 on Mar 5, 2015 11:15:29 GMT -5
I don't understand women who spend so long getting ready. I don't mean for a date night or going to a wedding. I mean everyday. Like how much makeup do you need to go grocery shopping?
eta: I wear makeup daily because I have blotchy skin. But it's just foundation, powder and blush. Takes me about 10 mins or less. I'm referring to full on runway makeup daily.
Last Edit: Mar 5, 2015 11:17:01 GMT -5 by heatherj9603
bcp free since 2009~*~ttc since 2012~*~fibroid diagnosed 1/8/15, myomectomy 3/17/15~*~golf ball sized fibroid at the front of uterus removed, no blocked tubes. ~*~benched Til September 2015 for recovery ~*~
3T April siggy challenge. Animal hybrids. The Pugorilla!
The thing is, you aren't reminding them of their loss by offering your condolences. Because they haven't forgotten about it or even come close to moving on, especially after just a few days. One of the most frustrating things is when people stop acknowledging your loss after awhile because they are afraid to "remind" you of it.
This is true for all manner of heart-wrenching life situations. People overwhelm with thoughts and hugs in the initial stages and then go back to their lives. But the hurting person must deal day in and day out with the pain until it lessens. The hurt person doesn't want to keep asking for support, but they need so much more than a few days can offer.
Leaf blowers should not be allowed. -It's better to leave the grass cuttings than to bag them up and put them in a landfill. -Gas powered means emissions and use of a non-renewable resource for a totally unnecessary purpose. (Because remember, it's better to leave the grass to mulch. So it's doubly bad for the environment) -They blow grass cuttings all over my car. -The noise makes me fucking insane.
My neighbor is obsessed with blowing her leaves. Every Saturday or Sunday morning, she wakes up early and blows leaves for a solid 2 hours starting around 8am.
Maybe she is getting high off the gas fumes? Sunday Funday at nacho's neighbors yard!
^I actually don't even know if that is possible, but 2 hours is really excessive.
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
Me too. And DH insists it only refers to unplanned out of wedlock pregnancies (no judgment from me!) but I don't actually think it only means that anymore in general usage. So I just tell DH he's old
I hate stainless steel appliances. I don't like the way it looks. I rather have white. I hate that I am looking at house's and they all have ss.
I totally agree! I talked my husband into doing the GE Ice White appliances. They have the clean, modern look of stainless steel but they are white, which makes them feel softer to me. I don't need to feel like I am cooking in a clean room.
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
Oh I cannot stand Sam Smith! Yes he has talent, but there is something about his voice I cannot stand! It sounds like he has permanent cotton mouth, or he is one of those people who always has spit at the corners of their mouths!
Post by squeakyduck on Mar 5, 2015 11:28:40 GMT -5
Knocked up is my (second) favorite slang for pregnancy. It sounds so cheerful. When I get pregnant I will tell everyone that I am knocked the fuck up.<--obviously this is the favorite.
Oh I cannot stand Sam Smith! Yes he has talent, but there is something about his voice I cannot stand! It sounds like he has permanent cotton mouth, or he is one of those people who always has spit at the corners of their mouths!
I hate stainless steel appliances. I don't like the way it looks. I rather have white. I hate that I am looking at house's and they all have ss.
I totally agree! I talked my husband into doing the GE Ice White appliances. They have the clean, modern look of stainless steel but they are white, which makes them feel softer to me. I don't need to feel like I am cooking in a clean room.
Thank you!!! Ugh. People tell me how wrong I am and how clean and modern SS is. I used to work in a kitchen in a nursing home and everything was SS and it seems sterile not like a home kitchen.
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