When it's time to tell people...

[sunfrogger88]

I'm an awful liar so I'm having an awful time keeping my mouth quiet. A lot of my friends ask me on a pretty regular basis. We want to tell our families this weekend though.

Still trying to find a fun way as it's our first!

[teambrink]

Only my husband and best friend know right now. We will tell our parents around Easter. I really am waiting out this first appointment to tell them. Close friends will probably be soon after the parents know, work right at 12 weeks since they will need to make some arrangements for the next school year and it will be "facebook official" soon after that.

[whatsit]

H and one friend from work know. I told her just in case something happens at work... Then she told me yesterday our manager suspects. I guess the manager noticed that I didn't go into the hottub when we took the kids swimming last week. I'll still keep it quiet for a few weeks though.

[mrspipp]

I've only told H, my mom and a friend from work. My best friend has had fertility issues, so I'm holding off for right now. The rest of my family will be after 12 weeks. I'll hold out from telling everyone else (including work) as long as possible - probably until I'm showing.

[PonyGirl]

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

[jemnj]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

I'm not telling them until after the 1st trimester. I started at my job not too long ago and I'm nervous to tell them earlier. 

[rztrumpet]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

My work is pretty self-led, so I'm sure if I gave them a month's notice, I'd be fine, lol. Last time I told around 6 weeks because they were doing some restructuring which would have put me into 6 months of training to leave on maternity leave as soon as it was done (I was able to move my training to after I came back). This time, I'll probably tell shortly after we put it in FN, so probably 10-12 weeks.

[colinsfebmommy]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

I will tell mine after first trimester. I have been at my company almost 14 years so I am not too worried about it. 

[sonpetitlapin]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

I told bossman already.  I am high risk and will have a lot of appointments.  He was really great and told me he wanted me to have a healthy pregnancy and if I needed to work from home more I can do that. I work from home one day week when we are not in close.  

[sweett11]

Ok so we wanted to wait and tell people until my appointment but now it's kind of out there dangling because some people know (including people I didn't tell) and my mom wants me to tell my youngest sister since the other 2 know. She's 14 and can't keep her mouth shut so I know if I tell her, it'll be done and we might as well post it on Facebook or shout it out loud to everyone we know. I don't know if we try to wait like we wanted or just put it out there.

[sweett11]

Mar 10, 2015 16:33:19 GMT -5 bluebird44 said:

Mar 10, 2015 16:04:02 GMT -5 sweett11 said:

Ok so we wanted to wait and tell people until my appointment but now it's kind of out there dangling because some people know (including people I didn't tell) and my mom wants me to tell my youngest sister since the other 2 know. She's 14 and can't keep her mouth shut so I know if I tell her, it'll be done and we might as well post it on Facebook or shout it out loud to everyone we know. I don't know if we try to wait like we wanted or just put it out there.

I feel awful that things have gone this way for you, and that's totally unfair.  Can you have a firm discussion with your mom?  Something like, "Mom, this is my pregnancy, and my news to share as I see fit.  I am already extremely upset that the information has been spread without my consent, because if something were to go wrong, I am not emotionally prepared to deal with having to go back and tell all these people we had a loss.  I love you all, and I will tell the rest of the family/world in due time.  In the meantime, please respect me decision and keep this private."

I told her I wouldn't tell my youngest sister. She's probably upset because she feels like we exclude her (She's 12 years younger than me). I'm just upset that feelings were hurt (My older sister) and it's not going how I planned. It doesn't feel happy right now, it feels chaotic and messy.

[hangryhedgehog]

Ah sorry sweett11 ! I have dealt with people wanting to overshare my news before I was ready and it is not pleasant. Do whatever feels comfortable for you. Don't give over to the grandma guilt trips. =)

[mrspipp]

((Hugs)) sweett11. I echo PP that you should tell your mom it's your decision who to tell. I have a similar situation in that my mom wants me to tell my dad, but I know that's as good as telling our extended family.

[sassypantzz]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

Work knows. But they are beyond amazing employers. They needed to accommodate my appointments.

[elliecat17]

We told H's parents today, because his Ma has come over to check on me through all our miscarriages and made sure I know some of the questions to ask. We printed off "the best parents become grandparents" and handed it to her after dinner today. She read it and started to cry she was so happy for us. It's early, but we figured they would want to know.

[elliecat17]

Mar 10, 2015 13:27:23 GMT -5 PonyGirl said:

For those of you who work (and haven't already stated), when will you tell work? And why? I haven't told yet, but only because I don't know when a good time would be.

I have told certain people at work, because bathroom breaks are hard to come by and I need people to know why I have to run tot he bathroom every 45 minutes (or less). Also why changing diapers is suddenly so repulsive.

[rztrumpet]

Hugs, sweett11 - we waited to tell my parents this time until we had told the rest of the family first. They proved last time that they couldn't keep a secret, so they lost their "first to know" privilege. I hate it when people don't show proper respect!

[chimneygrl]

We told our parents and sisters. We are waiting until May to tell everyone else.

[Deleted]

With ds1, we told immediate family and close friends early and social media at 12 weeks. Being a pgal I am terrified of even saying anything out loud. I told DH I don't want to tell anyone until 6 months. He told me I am insane which he is probably right about. Lol. We will probably tell our family after dr appt and then social media at 12 weeks

[sunfrogger88]

Hugs @ sweett11. It's your decision!

We are having a hard time not telling anyone because we are so excited! My husbands best friend knows. A couple of our close friends know. Maybe about 6 in total? But not people who have access to the whole network.

We are telling our families this weekend. We put together some cute, inexpensive gifts to share with them. After that... Planning on visiting New England for Easter to share with DH's extended family (and his Nana, our collective only grandparent left) when I am 8 weeks. After that.. We have the ultrasound at 10 weeks.. And then well probably start to get together and tell all our good friends in person as we go and then once we've shared with those people we want to share with in person, Facebook official around Mother's Day!