I'm under an intense amount of stress. I share custody of my twin DD's and I just found out that their dad is popping pills. Him and his gf are smoking weed, she's doing so while breastfeeding and that a while back when their house was broken into it wasn't random like they said it was over drug money. To hire an attorney to get emergency sole custody and to keep sole custody will run about $6,000 more likely 8 grand and until everything has been gathered to appear before the judge I have to let my kids go back over there today after preschool. I'm freaking out and am trying to make up something as to why they can't go but i don't know if he'll buy it or allow me to keep them for the weekend.
I've called cps but they can't change the custody agreement and I don't know if anything will come out of their investigation. I don't know what to do and the gf has already been telling my DD's that I'm a fat ugly bitch what in the world will she tell them now? They fight constantly in front of them, the girls tell me this and there's an incident that they told me about of domestic violence. Why is it so hard for me to be able to protect my children?
***update*** So my emergency custody was approved by the judge but the order for the hair follicle drug test was crossed out by the judge. So now I'm kind of thinking wtf is this judge thinking? Obviously he's going to deny doing anything on court next month and then what? I feel so screwed.
Oh my goodness, I don't blame you for feeling stressed. What a horrible situation-- I'm so sorry!!! I can't believe that CPS can't do anything in the immediate future. Are you in contact with any of his family anymore (like his parents) that you could talk to about this? I'm assuming no, but maybe that could be a route to take, although that would fan the flames as well. Sending good vibes and thoughts your way and hoping that your girls aren't exposed to any of this craziness anymore.
Post by lotsofdotts on Mar 20, 2015 8:19:03 GMT -5
I understand how frustrating it can be to deal with the court systems. It is expensive, slow and most of the time not in the best interest of the kids. You can file an emergency change of custody. It will be heard immediately. You can file it yourself. Go to the clerk of court and they will help you find the right form.
I hope something works out for you because that is not the situation any child needs to be involved. I'll say some prayers for you and your twins.
Oh my goodness, I don't blame you for feeling stressed. What a horrible situation-- I'm so sorry!!! I can't believe that CPS can't do anything in the immediate future. Are you in contact with any of his family anymore (like his parents) that you could talk to about this? I'm assuming no, but maybe that could be a route to take, although that would fan the flames as well. Sending good vibes and thoughts your way and hoping that your girls aren't exposed to any of this craziness anymore.
He lives on the same property as his mother in a guest house. They are right next to each other and she is oblivious to it all. Her son can do no wrong and she has already said that she's okay with weed just not other stuff yet can't seem to open her eyes. So talking to her would just make it worse. There was an incident years ago where I made a police report for a bruise that was in my daughters public area that he said he didn't know how she got and his mother blew up my phone saying I was a vindictive bitch.
I understand how frustrating it can be to deal with the court systems. It is expensive, slow and most of the time not in the best interest of the kids. You can file an emergency change of custody. It will be heard immediately. You can file it yourself. Go to the clerk of court and they will help you find the right form.
I hope something works out for you because that is not the situation any child needs to be involved. I'll say some prayers for you and your twins.
Yes that's what the attorney said what needs to be done as well and to get the judge to order a hair follicle drug test. I just hope what I have is enough proof, his gf's sister was the one who told me all this and at first said she would write out an affidavit but is now seeming to back away from everything. All I have now are screenshots she has sent me as well as the screenshots of our conversation. I just hope it's enough.
I am so sorry you and DD's are going through this and hope the information you have is enough for them to not have to go over there anymore. What a terrible and incredibly frustrating situation
Post by toadandbuggie on Mar 20, 2015 9:38:36 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. That must be awful to deal with. Just remember you are a great mom that is doing the best you can for your kids. I hope he lets you keep them for the weekend and you can figure something out so they don't have to go there. T&Ps!
I don't know what state you live in but if you know that there is weed in the house, You could always call the cops if its illegal. I know he's your childrens father but if you feel it's unsafe...
Post by nomnomasaur0426 on Mar 20, 2015 16:07:21 GMT -5
Ts&Ps - I know how frustrating this can be! Definitely file the emergency petition for a change in custody asap. So sorry you and your girls are going through this
Ugh. I'm so sorry. I don't know where you live, but usually you can get added to the courts calendar in an exparte emergency situation on your own. Here in CA you have to go through mediation to change custody orders, you don't need an attorney for that. Courts look at the "best interests of the child" when making or changing custody orders.... You may not necessarily need an attorney for that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there. It sucks. You feel helpless. DD came home last week with bite marks on her arms. She's been biting herself out of depression and anxiety for being forced to go to her dads house.... Sucks when you can't protect your kids.... Hugs momma.
Post by WittyLittle on Mar 21, 2015 1:18:28 GMT -5
That's absolutely horrid. In so sorry for you and your family. It's not fair that you have to go trough this, you have our thoughts and prayers! I hope things get arranged quickly
I don't know what state you live in but if you know that there is weed in the house, You could always call the cops if its illegal. I know he's your childrens father but if you feel it's unsafe...
They have already been notified and haven't done anything.
Ugh. I'm so sorry. I don't know where you live, but usually you can get added to the courts calendar in an exparte emergency situation on your own. Here in CA you have to go through mediation to change custody orders, you don't need an attorney for that. Courts look at the "best interests of the child" when making or changing custody orders.... You may not necessarily need an attorney for that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there. It sucks. You feel helpless. DD came home last week with bite marks on her arms. She's been biting herself out of depression and anxiety for being forced to go to her dads house.... Sucks when you can't protect your kids.... Hugs momma.
Every time we have any custody issues his mother hires a lawyer for him because he's a complete loser. Otherwise there's no way he would have ever had any sort of joint custody of the girls. I just want to get sole custody and not have to deal with this again. The emergency custody is just a start, I'm going to push for sole custody and that's going to be long and drawn out as it always has been. They're also committing fraud with public assistance among other things so I feel hiring an attorney would be my best option to show that they're not caring for the girls appropriately and not keeping them in a safe environment. My dad is loaning me some of the money so it won't completely wipe out our savings.
I'm so sorry your DD is having to go through that Are you able to go back to court and show how this is negatively affecting your daughter to change the visitation schedule?
Ugh. I'm so sorry. I don't know where you live, but usually you can get added to the courts calendar in an exparte emergency situation on your own. Here in CA you have to go through mediation to change custody orders, you don't need an attorney for that. Courts look at the "best interests of the child" when making or changing custody orders.... You may not necessarily need an attorney for that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there. It sucks. You feel helpless. DD came home last week with bite marks on her arms. She's been biting herself out of depression and anxiety for being forced to go to her dads house.... Sucks when you can't protect your kids.... Hugs momma.
Every time we have any custody issues his mother hires a lawyer for him because he's a complete loser. Otherwise there's no way he would have ever had any sort of joint custody of the girls. I just want to get sole custody and not have to deal with this again. The emergency custody is just a start, I'm going to push for sole custody and that's going to be long and drawn out as it always has been. They're also committing fraud with public assistance among other things so I feel hiring an attorney would be my best option to show that they're not caring for the girls appropriately and not keeping them in a safe environment. My dad is loaning me some of the money so it won't completely wipe out our savings.
I'm so sorry your DD is having to go through that Are you able to go back to court and show how this is negatively affecting your daughter to change the visitation schedule?
I'm gkad to hear you are getting an attorney. It does give peace of mind. I don't know what state you're in, but do your research on whomever you hire. Make sure they specialize in it. If you know the name of his attorney, and the judge, ask your potential attorney if they have worked with them in the past. One thing about law, a lot of times, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
She's going to start seeing a therapist. Then I'll make my move. He's taking me to court again next month because he thinks $220 a month in child support is too much. SMH.
Every time we have any custody issues his mother hires a lawyer for him because he's a complete loser. Otherwise there's no way he would have ever had any sort of joint custody of the girls. I just want to get sole custody and not have to deal with this again. The emergency custody is just a start, I'm going to push for sole custody and that's going to be long and drawn out as it always has been. They're also committing fraud with public assistance among other things so I feel hiring an attorney would be my best option to show that they're not caring for the girls appropriately and not keeping them in a safe environment. My dad is loaning me some of the money so it won't completely wipe out our savings.
I'm so sorry your DD is having to go through that Are you able to go back to court and show how this is negatively affecting your daughter to change the visitation schedule?
I'm gkad to hear you are getting an attorney. It does give peace of mind. I don't know what state you're in, but do your research on whomever you hire. Make sure they specialize in it. If you know the name of his attorney, and the judge, ask your potential attorney if they have worked with them in the past. One thing about law, a lot of times, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
She's going to start seeing a therapist. Then I'll make my move. He's taking me to court again next month because he thinks $220 a month in child support is too much. SMH.
I live in a small town so all of the family law attorneys have had a go at each other at one time of another.
Does he not know how much it is to raise a child? I hope therapy helps DD as well as in court if you plan on going that route.
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