We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
Post by nerdykitten on Mar 25, 2015 8:56:43 GMT -5
@littleliverpill I am sorry that happened to you.
mustloveerica That is pretty messed up of both your SIL and FIL. I would say that perhaps you should work out tiny payments that your SIL has to make back to your DH until she is in a place to pay more, because that is a lot of money to be out for a loan that isn't even his. I am sorry this is happening to you and your husband.
Last Edit: Mar 25, 2015 8:57:11 GMT -5 by nerdykitten
Me: 30 DH: 29; Married: September, 2010 TTC #1: April 2013 Benched: May 2013 Cancer(DH) Off the Bench: September 2014 July 2015 ER low sperm count and motility(radiation side effect). FET September 1,2015. BFP 9/9/15.- 3 on the way.
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
What the hell??? That's ridiculous!! I'd be so fucking pissed off at that!
I don't even know what to say other than obviously stop paying it and let the loan agencies go after your FIL and SIL.
I love my in-laws to death. My SIL is my best friend. So that just makes it worse...we are waiting for her to call and back and we'll go from there. But I have a hard time believing she will be able to pay is back. Especially if she has to pick up these payments herself now.
Could you work out something where she takes over, and then once it's paid off, starts making payments to you instead until you're reimbursed? It wouldn't give you $ right away, but it would be something.
That's seriously a terrible situation, and I'm so sorry you're going through it. Hope you can find a good resolution soon. *creeper internet hugs*
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
WTAF?
I can't believe his sister never noticed she wasn't paying? Or was she paying and if so where did that money go? It seems like SOMEONE should have noticed something strange was going on.
This sounds so stressful, I hope it gets dealt with quickly and easily. (hug)
Post by SheilaTheTank on Mar 25, 2015 9:12:38 GMT -5
WTF Husband!
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
WTAF?
I can't believe his sister never noticed she wasn't paying? Or was she paying and if so where did that money go? It seems like SOMEONE should have noticed something strange was going on.
This sounds so stressful, I hope it gets dealt with quickly and easily. (hug)
This.
How did she not know that she wasn't paying on her student loans?
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
I don't know how to fix the situation - that sucks
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
What the hell??? That's ridiculous!! I'd be so fucking pissed off at that!
This is awful and so incredibly manipulative of your FIL. I get that you love them dearly, but this needs to be addressed and fixed. And they have some major explaining to do.
WTF to my body. Since Sunday I've been barking like a seal, which is annoying as hell, but I felt fine otherwise. Until last night. Full blown sinus pain in the faaaaaaaaaaaace.
I have sick days, but I always feel guilty using them. Blerg.
mustloveerica - That is fucked right up. If I found out that the money I thought was going to paying back my student loans was actually not, I'm pretty sure I would have a full blown breakdown. So. Much. Money. I hope you guys get it figured out.
TTC History: - History of irregular cycles, suspected to be anovulatory - SA normal - Hysterosonogram November 2016 - Diagnostic hysteroscopy, polypectomy, D&C January 2017 - Currently "on the bench" while taking BC to regulate cycles until June 2017
What the hell??? That's ridiculous!! I'd be so fucking pissed off at that!
This is awful and so incredibly manipulative of your FIL. I get that you love them dearly, but this needs to be addressed and fixed. And they have some major explaining to do.
No way in hell I wouldn't be getting at least some of that money back.
WTF to the Facebook friend who posted pictures (plural!!) of a mouse that her cat caught in their house last night. You could have just posted a status. I didn't need to see that poor mouse.
I unfriended someone once for posting something similar. I will not be forced to look at dead animals on my wall.
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
What in the living hell? I agree with PP. No matter if you are BFFs, they are HER loans and she needs to start paying them (and you need to STOP), and then when she is done paying them, start paying YOU (or do a tiny payment to you for now and then enlarge it once the loans are paid off).
Wtf skin. Why must you act like you are 16 years old with these new pimples!! It's days like this that I miss taking the bcp. I never broke out while on it. Ugh
It's so unfair to have to battle acne and wrinkles at the same time.
That really gives me anxiety mustloveerica, so I don't even know how you are fictional right now. How much is left of both the loans? Maybe she can start paying both now and YH be done.
We just found out that DH has been paying his sisters student loans. The loans are all in his dad's name but his dad told him he had to pay them. Well he just got a letter in the mail addressed to his sister and after a little digging found out one of the loans he's been paying isn't even his. He has paid over 10k on it over the years. He called and left her a voicemail. I'm unbelievable pissed off. She is never going to pay that back and it's a LOT of money. And his dad claims no responsibility saying he isn't sure who is paying what and that it's not his fault he's been paying his sisters loans too. I'm so beyond angry with this situation.
Wtf skin. Why must you act like you are 16 years old with these new pimples!! It's days like this that I miss taking the bcp. I never broke out while on it. Ugh
It's so unfair to have to battle acne and wrinkles at the same time.
That really gives me anxiety mustloveerica, so I don't even know how you are fictional right now. How much is left of both the loans? Maybe she can start paying both now and YH be done.
I was going to suggest this but I would be anxious on whether they would pay on time etc. I wouldn't want my credit to be fucked by someone I know. That would be even more awkward.
Wtf skin. Why must you act like you are 16 years old with these new pimples!! It's days like this that I miss taking the bcp. I never broke out while on it. Ugh
It's so unfair to have to battle acne and wrinkles at the same time.
That really gives me anxiety mustloveerica, so I don't even know how you are fictional right now. How much is left of both the loans? Maybe she can start paying both now and YH be done.
There's only $3,800 total left on the loans that are actually hers. So we have paid $10,700 of it already :-(
I feel stupid for not realizing it after all these years.
There's only $3,800 total left on the loans that are actually hers. So we have paid $10,700 of it already :-(
I feel stupid for not realizing it after all these years.
Can you clarify if any payments have been made for YH's loans?
Oh yes they have. That 14.5 is ONLY the loans in her name. There was another 7 or so in Hs name that he also pays and that are almost fully paid off. He makes 4 or 5 different payments a month towards student loans and NOW we know that 2 of those payments have actually been loans that are hers and not his. We kind of just FILs word on which loans to pay and never really dug all that deep into them or we would have known by now that some are not his. So yes it is partly our fault.
Post by anonymouseliza on Mar 25, 2015 11:24:06 GMT -5
Fuuuuuuuuuck mustloveerica, I'm not sure there are words for how angry I'd be. My brother lent me money years ago and told me not to repay it after I'd paid back half of it and I felt insanely guilty about that. And that was a totally different thing where he offered me money of his own volition! I hope your SIL is horrified to learn of the mistake and sets up a payment plan. That is too much money to just brush off.
Post by anonymouseliza on Mar 25, 2015 11:27:32 GMT -5
My WTF is at my current director, who is refusing to answer calls about the transition (that my boss and my new boss want to make official next week). And his fucking emails to me asking me to do things for him that are just unnecessary. I'm not your secretary, and really, you want me doing these things that only I can do (or know about) instead of something you could do if you made a little effort.
That said, I cannot tell you how many times in the past three days I've thanked the gods and goddesses that I am getting out. I want nothing to do with the direction things are going.
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
Man, this is tough. Can he work something out with the print company? Shit does happen, though. I have done stupid stuff like get multiple speeding tickets in a short period of time, and I knew that I should cut back on some of my personal expenses to kind of make up for it, even though my husband never insisted that I do it. Does your husband feel that way at all? Can he do any odd jobs for anyone to make it up? $800 is a lot. I hope you can figure out something!
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
Man, this is tough. Can he work something out with the print company? Shit does happen, though. I have done stupid stuff like get multiple speeding tickets in a short period of time, and I knew that I should cut back on some of my personal expenses to kind of make up for it, even though my husband never insisted that I do it. Does your husband feel that way at all? Can he do any odd jobs for anyone to make it up? $800 is a lot. I hope you can figure out something!
He said he contacted the company and they are willing to work with him which is a good thing. He also said he can probably sell what he does have to other people. We're planning on sitting down tonight and going over the damage and figure out exactly how much we need to reorder.
WTF space invader!! A guy is at my work asking me questions, and getting uncomfortably close! He also smells like he took a bath in bong water.
I work with a guy who does this too! He'll come over and kneel next to your chair at your desk. It's borderline creepy how close he gets. Thankfully he mostly works remotely so I don't have to deal with it very often.
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
I don't think its harsh at all. He made the mistake, he should pay his friends back. That shouldn't come out of the joint banking/savings you have, as it isn't a shared expense. If he has "fun" money then that's what he should use it for. Its a good lesson for him in asking companies for a "proof" before making your stuff.
MH runs a car meetup group. The members expressed interest in putting together an order for shirts, car decals, etc. H took everyone's money, placed the order, and picked it up last night. I get a text this morning saying her royally fucked up. Turns out he somehow switched some of the information and screwed up most of the order. I asked him how big the order was and it was $800!!!! Money that we really don't have to just throw away.
I need some advice guys on how you would handle this. I blew up at him on the phone, which I regret because he is obviously distraught and I know it was a mistake. Would you make him responsible for paying back the $800 out of his "fun" money or would that be too harsh?
I don't think its harsh at all. He made the mistake, he should pay his friends back. That shouldn't come out of the joint banking/savings you have, as it isn't a shared expense. If he has "fun" money then that's what he should use it for. Its a good lesson for him in asking companies for a "proof" before making your stuff.
Something about this entire exchange makes me feel we're talking about a parent and a child, not a husband and a wife.
Man, this is tough. Can he work something out with the print company? Shit does happen, though. I have done stupid stuff like get multiple speeding tickets in a short period of time, and I knew that I should cut back on some of my personal expenses to kind of make up for it, even though my husband never insisted that I do it. Does your husband feel that way at all? Can he do any odd jobs for anyone to make it up? $800 is a lot. I hope you can figure out something!
He said he contacted the company and they are willing to work with him which is a good thing. He also said he can probably sell what he does have to other people. We're planning on sitting down tonight and going over the damage and figure out exactly how much we need to reorder.
I don't think its harsh at all. He made the mistake, he should pay his friends back. That shouldn't come out of the joint banking/savings you have, as it isn't a shared expense. If he has "fun" money then that's what he should use it for. Its a good lesson for him in asking companies for a "proof" before making your stuff.
Something about this entire exchange makes me feel we're talking about a parent and a child, not a husband and a wife.
That's my problem too. I really really really don't want it to come out that way.
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