**Preggie Pact**

[Stringy]

Stoney doesn't seem to be around this morning so I'll take over this week. We all know she isn't TTC anyway.

So newcomers this is the TTC thread.

So, who's having fun TTC sex?  Who's having boring TTC sex? Who's having super romantic moments with their doctor or midwife? Who's just considering having a/another baby someday and wants to up their post count? Ok then.


QOTD (legit question, not just GTKY): How on earth do you plan life around TTC/potential baby? I'll explain more in my response (this is all about me, clearly)

[grumpycakes]

Oh hey there. Time for our weekly public convo.

[sarenu]

Oh, I'll play because I'm planning to have another when I'm over 35. (I have no problem with this, but I originally planned to have my kids before I was 35).

We didn't plan. We just reached a point where we thought it was a good time and we dove in.

And since I've stopped breastfeeding my hormones have finally gone back to normal.

[Stringy]

I'm like 10 days post IUI, I keep considering POAS but don't. I've felt really up and down about my chances on this one. Its just a stupid crap shoot at this point. I'll def test Friday if nothing's happened.

QOTD: I'm stressing over this. If I'm KU right now, I'd be due in early October, so would need to hoard vacation time for maternity leave, and tell BM to do the same. If it takes another 3 months + - it doesn't matter - it would be 2016's vacation time to use. We are trying to plan a trip to CA for my niece's first bday in April, which will require some days off. In the summer we usually go to the tropical beaches of New England for some a week or two or three - and those things need to be booked pretty soon if you want a nice house or better hotel room. And clearly if I don't get pregnant any time soon I'm going to want a damn vacation.

And then this morning at work the idea of me teaching classes came up again, and now we will be having a meeting about the fall semester sometime soon. I can't let them rearrange a bunch of people's schedules and workloads to then be like, sorry I'm out come October or November. Or not. SO ANNOYING.

[Stringy]

Jan 20, 2015 11:51:38 GMT -5 grumpycakes said:

Oh hey there. Time for our weekly public convo.

OMG I haven't talked to you in SO LONG.

[sarenu]

Jan 20, 2015 11:53:59 GMT -5 Stringy said:

I'm like 10 days post IUI, I keep considering POAS but don't. I've felt really up and down about my chances on this one. Its just a stupid crap shoot at this point. I'll def test Friday if nothing's happened.

QOTD: I'm stressing over this. If I'm KU right now, I'd be due in early October, so would need to hoard vacation time for maternity leave, and tell BM to do the same. If it takes another 3 months + - it doesn't matter - it would be 2016's vacation time to use. We are trying to plan a trip to CA for my niece's first bday in April, which will require some days off. In the summer we usually go to the tropical beaches of New England for some a week or two or three - and those things need to be booked pretty soon if you want a nice house or better hotel room. And clearly if I don't get pregnant any time soon I'm going to want a damn vacation.

And then this morning at work the idea of me teaching classes came up again, and now we will be having a meeting about the fall semester sometime soon. I can't let them rearrange a bunch of people's schedules and workloads to then be like, sorry I'm out come October or November. Or not. SO ANNOYING.

hugs

TTC is always stressful.  The only advise I can give is to not let the fact that you might be pregnant stop plans.  Don't change plans because you think you might be on leave.  If it happens worry about it at that time.  

And if you don't have enough vacation, save some money before you go on leave so that you can take some unpaid time off.  Or ask if you can come back part time for a few weeks (half days or 3 day work weeks?).

[grumpycakes]

I'm an optimist, so when I'm TTC, if I need to makes plans for the future, I try to work them around being pregnant or having a newborn. I wouldn't deny myself a summer vacation, though. Whether you're pregnant or not, you deserve to take some time off for your annual getaway. Maybe you could do something on the cheaper side and put away the money for some unpaid time off during your maternity leave?

[pbandj714]

FX for you, stringy!

I'm still waiting to O for cycle 2, so that's fun.

QOTD: I've been planning life around TTC for about 6 months prior to TTC. I made sure that I'd have enough sick time saved up for maternity leave before we started trying, so that's done. Other than that, we're just waiting on scheduling any big vacations. We went to Costa Rica in the fall, so any trips from here on out will probably not be as exotic anyway.

I've already started planning (and buying) CD...obviously. Whatever, head start!

[grumpycakes]

Stringy I don't know how you exhibit so much control with waiting to POAS.

[sarenu]

Jan 20, 2015 12:02:59 GMT -5 grumpycakes said:

Stringy I don't know how you exhibit so much control with waiting to POAS.

Same, I'd be doing it on a daily basis.

When we were TTC the second time I was checking every other day about 7 days after I had ovulated.

I was using the cheap ones and then used my last digital to confirm.

[sasq09]

I keep forgetting to temp! I really want to chart better, but at the same time, its usually pretty obvious to me when I'm ovulating, but since I'm still bf its really up in the air as to when. I'm trying to make sure we dtd at least every other day. I'm hoping that I ovulate sooner this time, my last cycle was like 40 some days. Prior to pregnancy I was super freaking regular, so its weird for me to not know exactly what's going on.

[Stringy]

I have control cuz I assume it'll be a BFN and at that point I'll be all disappointing and wondering what to do next - and I'd rather put off that day of anxiety as long as possible.

I can at least use STD for time off - so I'd get 60% of my pay while I'm home, after using whatever vacation I have left. BM can't, and gets less vaca time in general - so I'm already picturing me home with a toddler and a 3 week old going nuts. Yes our parents are around to help, but still. If our lives are the same as they are now, we have a nice savings account to fall back on. If we put M in part time day care in the fall, which we will probably do - and then on top of that on the off chance we buy a house/condo - well - there goes all of our money. I mean, not all..but..ya know.

There are just TOO MANY unknown variables and grownup decisions in my life right now. We don't even know what we would do with #2 day care wise. That I refuse to deal with until I'm pregnant. And, my immediate boss knows I'm TTC, but the people who oversee teaching sure don't and I don't want to share. They are good people and I like them, I don't want to work with them to plan something that has a high chance (its gotta work one of these months, right?) of not working out.

[Stringy]

And I realize most SO's don't get much paternity time. We were ridiculously spoiled with M and I stayed home for 3 months and BM 4, with only like 2-3 weeks of unpaid time between us. There were some lucky circumstances (me changing jobs) that made that happen.

[brandiewine11]

Ok, I'm not ready to jump on the TTC train just yet, but I have questions and maybe you guys can help. This is going to be long.

R is 7 1/2 months. He's still nursing 8 times a day, so no pp AF for me yet anyway. And I have to wait until he's 1 to start TTC in order to have any hope for a VBAC. And I refuse to TTC until he sleeps more that 2 hours at a time. But I still think about it anyway.

I'm terrified. I know I want 2 kids. But when R was born, we had an emergency c-section after 48 hours of labor. Then after 7 days, my incision opened up and I had to have another surgery to try to fix it. I ended up with a wound vac (OMG worst thing ever) and due to some medical errors had an open wound for 3.5 months. The whole thing was awful, painful, and scary. I feel like I missed out on so much those early months.

Theoretically I'm a good VBAC candidate, but that is never guaranteed. I'm completely terrified of another c-section. Not only for me, but for my family. The kind of things that happened to me have killed people.

I don't have to make those decisions for a long time yet, but I'm questioning even wanting to be pregnant again because the baby will have to come out somehow.

Has anyone had a really traumatic birth experience and then decided to TTC again? What helped you get over the trauma? If I can get over it, maybe I'll join you for real in a few months.

[piccyami]

We've moved on to cycle 8, which means I can buy our DragonCon tickets. We started TTC shortly before DragonCon last year, and I refused to buy tickets so far in advance because I didn't want to try to travel with such a teeny baby. That turned into not wanting to be so far from home so close to a possible due date. We've finally hit the point where it doesn't matter, so we'll buy tickets and we'll have a place I can crash if I need to if everything works out this cycle.

We work at a small-ish company, so H could take as much time as he wanted - within reason. However, he would only be paid for any vacation days he has and the rest would be unpaid.

[sarenu]

Jan 20, 2015 12:59:39 GMT -5 brandiewine11 said:

Ok, I'm not ready to jump on the TTC train just yet, but I have questions and maybe you guys can help. This is going to be long.

R is 7 1/2 months. He's still nursing 8 times a day, so no pp AF for me yet anyway. And I have to wait until he's 1 to start TTC in order to have any hope for a VBAC. And I refuse to TTC until he sleeps more that 2 hours at a time. But I still think about it anyway.

I'm terrified. I know I want 2 kids. But when R was born, we had an emergency c-section after 48 hours of labor. Then after 7 days, my incision opened up and I had to have another surgery to try to fix it. I ended up with a wound vac (OMG worst thing ever) and due to some medical errors had an open wound for 3.5 months. The whole thing was awful, painful, and scary. I feel like I missed out on so much those early months.

Theoretically I'm a good VBAC candidate, but that is never guaranteed. I'm completely terrified of another c-section. Not only for me, but for my family. The kind of things that happened to me have killed people.

I don't have to make those decisions for a long time yet, but I'm questioning even wanting to be pregnant again because the baby will have to come out somehow.

Has anyone had a really traumatic birth experience and then decided to TTC again? What helped you get over the trauma? If I can get over it, maybe I'll join you for real in a few months.

This might be something you want to talk with your OB about.  They would have a better idea of what would happen with a second child and the possibility of having the same issues.

With my second I had low platelet counts during my pregnancy.  If we do plan to have a 3rd, I will be arranging for an appointment with my OB and having a serious talk about what our game plan is if I have the same issue.  My pregnancies were pretty easy, but both births were close to 12 hours of hard labor.  If my platelets are too low with a third that could mean blood transfusions.

[Lola]

I'm joining in this week. We decided we are ntnp ( which autocorrect wants to be nymph haha). We have a 6 month old and want to have them fairly close. DH is a little concerned and wants to wait until Q is sleeping through the night. But that will never happen.
Qotd: I hadn't thought about my vacation hours like you said Stringy. Last maternity leave I used short term disability and my employer supplemented the difference after I used all my vacation. I'm not sure what they would do if I had no vacation left ( we have plans for my 2 weeks already). As far as planning around it, I don't. The stress of thinking about all of that makes me loose it, so I'd rather just go with the flow

[ovenrack]

Oh hey. I just accepted an April-October six-ish month job. I am 9 or 10 dpo and I peed on a stick last night. Negativo. I was feeling antsy, because if I was, in fact, pregnant, I wouldn't probably be able to properly fulfill my whole job - and I'm the only one working there, literally - gardening at 8mo pregnant is hard, yo, as I realized last time around. If I got preg in March, that would put me gardening in my first two trimesters, which sounds much better than gardening in the last two trimesters.

But yeah. Planning? Planning would be easier if your body always cooperated.

[ABobLoblawLawBomb]

Jan 20, 2015 13:35:50 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Oh hey. I just accepted an April-October six-ish month job. I am 9 or 10 dpo and I peed on a stick last night. Negativo. I was feeling antsy, because if I was, in fact, pregnant, I wouldn't probably be able to properly fulfill my whole job - and I'm the only one working there, literally - gardening at 8mo pregnant is hard, yo, as I realized last time around. If I got preg in March, that would put me gardening in my first two trimesters, which sounds much better than gardening in the last two trimesters.

But yeah. Planning? Planning would be easier if your body always cooperated.

I got pregnant in March. J ended up in charge of a very pathetic and neglected garden.

[TJ]

Stringy you just can't let it get to you. You just have to keep on going on with your life. And you can find a way to fix it later. You can't stop living just because you are TTC. I kept getting caught up in all that too. But I can't imagine how hard it would have been if I had just put my real life on hold for 3 years while I was waiting. Maybe try to compromise between now and then, take one vacation, leave the other. But you can't stop living. (Hugs.)

[ovenrack]

Jan 20, 2015 14:23:46 GMT -5 ABobLoblawLawBomb said:

Jan 20, 2015 13:35:50 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Oh hey. I just accepted an April-October six-ish month job. I am 9 or 10 dpo and I peed on a stick last night. Negativo. I was feeling antsy, because if I was, in fact, pregnant, I wouldn't probably be able to properly fulfill my whole job - and I'm the only one working there, literally - gardening at 8mo pregnant is hard, yo, as I realized last time around. If I got preg in March, that would put me gardening in my first two trimesters, which sounds much better than gardening in the last two trimesters.

But yeah. Planning? Planning would be easier if your body always cooperated.

I got pregnant in March. J ended up in charge of a very pathetic and neglected garden.

Yeah.  It is rough.  I got pregnant in April last time, so I'm hoping I'd be able to work similarly, since it is mostly the same job.  I worked through November before H was born - so 7-ish months.

My own personal garden, though.  Nope, nope, nope.

[redrock]

J is supposedly going to start temping this cycle. It's hard with baby who wakes up constantly so we'll ser. That's why she is starting so early. Actual TTC is still months away.

brandiewine11 I had a traumatic pregnancy /birth. I had placenta previa, 3 big bleeds, bed rest at the hospital, and finally an emergency C-section. I'm terrified to be pregnant again, but also kind of want to sometimes. I would also hope for a VBAC. I thought my OB said to wait 18 months from birth to conception, but I could be remembering it wrong. I obviously don't have advice, just wanted to say I know how you feel.

[HelgaHuffle]

FX for you Stringy!

I'm 4 dpo...I think. FF gave me dotted cross hairs this cycle so who knows? I'm temping but I never had a positive opk. I did read a post about knock off wondfos on TTGP a couple of weeks ago and apparently I have the knock offs. Maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, we had good timing if I go by what FF says.

[ovenrack]

Do you guys ever have a super defeating day where you realize that maybe you shouldn't have procreated at all, let alone try to do it TWICE since you can't even keep your shit together with one child crawling around?

[HelgaHuffle]

Jan 20, 2015 18:39:49 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Do you guys ever have a super defeating day where you realize that maybe you shouldn't have procreated at all, let alone try to do it TWICE since you can't even keep your shit together with one child crawling around?

Yes, yes, and yes.

[piccyami]

Jan 20, 2015 16:20:12 GMT -5 HelgaHuffle said:

FX for you Stringy!

I'm 4 dpo...I think. FF gave me dotted cross hairs this cycle so who knows? I'm temping but I never had a positive opk. I did read a post about knock off wondfos on TTGP a couple of weeks ago and apparently I have the knock offs. Maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, we had good timing if I go by what FF says.

If you think you have the knockoffs, I would go through amazon for a refund. From what other people have said, they've been pretty good about refunds/sending out a replacement. There's also a list over there for the real dealers.

[grumpycakes]

Jan 20, 2015 18:39:49 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Do you guys ever have a super defeating day where you realize that maybe you shouldn't have procreated at all, let alone try to do it TWICE since you can't even keep your shit together with one child crawling around?

Yup.  And those are the days that I remember if I keep putting off TTC, I get to drink those feelings away.  Haha!

[sasq09]

Jan 20, 2015 18:39:49 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Do you guys ever have a super defeating day where you realize that maybe you shouldn't have procreated at all, let alone try to do it TWICE since you can't even keep your shit together with one child crawling around?

So often! Being a parent is hard! You're totally not alone!

[mooncharm]

Jan 20, 2015 18:39:49 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Do you guys ever have a super defeating day where you realize that maybe you shouldn't have procreated at all, let alone try to do it TWICE since you can't even keep your shit together with one child crawling around?

aw, OR, sorry for the crappy day!

[mooncharm]

Stringy - I know it's nerve-racking, but if you POAS early, and it's neg, it doesn't mean anything, right? But if it's positive, that changes everything! That's why my method is to POAS all the time!

Actually, I want to be POAS all the time, but I think that's kind of unreasonable in my situation, with no PP period yet. I stopped birth control just over a month ago, and told myself I'd POAS once a month just to know. But I did POAS a couple of wks ago when I was puking (turned out to be a bug, thank goodness, because I couldn't handle a pregnancy with so much puking!), and now I want to check again, but that's crazy, right? I have no logical reason why I could be pregnant (you know, other than unprotected sex...). So I'm telling myself to wait.

Speaking of that, where do I get the cheap pregnancy tests? The ones at the pharmacy are like $5 apiece!