Did your mother use meds or ART to conceive you or a sib?

[cinzink]

Nope. My mother had 4 accidents (her words growing up) over 19 years.
DH mom had 5 kiddos no problems. All our siblings have children. We're alone in our IF struggle in our family.

Edited to include DH.

[snd1231]

My mother had horrible issues getting pregnant. Her doctors actually told her that it was medically impossible for her to get pregnant. She had a "miracle child" on unmonitored clomid with my brother after about a year of treatments. She got pregnant with me with only one more round of clomid. She had massive fibroid and non cancerous tumors her whole life. She finally had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 30 and the doctors told her they had never seen a more damaged and complicated reproductive organs in their whole medical careers! My issues are not anywhere near the same as her as I have no fibroid or tumors just cancer chemotherapy induced damage.

[tumbleweed]

Oh! I should have included an option about your fathers and IF in the poll! We have MFI so I'm actually fascinated to read about the father's side of each answer too! Going to respond more from a keyboard. (On mobile right now.)

[deelopi9]

I was a honeymoon baby, she had me at 21. Then she was diagnosed with hypothyoridism. She waited 2 1/2 years, then it took her 6 months to get pregnant with my brother. She was 25.

DH: His parents planned DH and his younger sister as well. They are 4 years apart.

No one else in my family or DH's other than my aunt (father's half brother wife) are unable to conceive. She tried with the same clinic I was first at with clomid & IUI got pregnant three times and had 3 miscarriages. They tried (25 years ago) when she was 35. 

Edited: added DH history

[kensie5226]

Jan 20, 2015 14:13:07 GMT -5 bootsorhearts said:

Ugh I can't edit on mobile. Wanted to add I have no issue with anyone terminating a pregnancy, I think it's a woman's choice. It just makes me sad to think about the sibs I lost but that's my issue to deal with.

I want to be clear that your feelings are totally valid. I just wanted to share that I always felt the opposite. My mom had an abortion at 19, and I was always thankful that she did. B/c if she didn't she likely wouldn't have met my dad and I wouldn't exist. I just wanted to share that perspective.

[kensie5226]

Jan 20, 2015 14:44:40 GMT -5 spring78 said:

My parents had no trouble conceiving. My dad's favorite joke is that all they had to do was wash their underwear together and my mom was KU. Classy, dad, thanks for that. My mom did have two 2nd trimester miscarriages, though -- one between me and my brother and one after him. So, at least, my mom was great when I had my MMC. I'm also lucky in that she acknowledges she cannot really understand what we are going through, because our situation is so very different from her experience, but she tries to be supportive the best she can. My sister also got KU with each of her 3 kids within a couple months of trying.

My in-laws are a different story. Took them 6 years of trying to have DH. Actually made MIL less sympathetic to start -- she just couldn't understand why weren't more patient becsuse it "would happen" for us eventually, just like it did for them. Of course, their 6 years of waiting started in their early 20s -- DH and i didn't even meet until I was 30, but I digress... Luckily, she has come around since then. Anyway, since there is a good chance we are at least partially MFI, I do wonder if it is inherited on his side.

Yeah my dad always said, "all anyone in the family has to do is look at someone and they KU." At least half of the babies in my family were accidents. It's not even anything anyone thinks about anymore.

[laurensc927]

Jan 20, 2015 14:44:40 GMT -5 spring78 said:

*snip*

My in-laws are a different story. Took them 6 years of trying to have DH. Actually made MIL less sympathetic to start -- she just couldn't understand why weren't more patient becsuse it "would happen" for us eventually, just like it did for them. Of course, their 6 years of waiting started in their early 20s -- DH and i didn't even meet until I was 30, but I digress... Luckily, she has come around since then. Anyway, since there is a good chance we are at least partially MFI, I do wonder if it is inherited on his side.

My MIL tried for 13 years before adopting MH. She ended up getting her tubes tied because she kept getting pregnant and miscarrying and they couldn't figure out why. She started when she was 20 so she was the same age I am now when they finally brought H home.

AFM: My mom couldn't keep her BCP's down, they made her nauseous, so I was an oops. They wanted to wait until they had been married for 5 years and I came after 3. My brother was planned. My husband was the product of teenage lust, his bio parents were 18 and unmarried, not ready for a child.

All that to say I thought we would get knocked up 1-2-3.

ETA: My mom, one of my aunts and grandma all had fibroids, which I do not, which led my mom to have a hysterectomy in her late 30's. I believe only my Grandma had Endo. My aunt had secondary infertility.

[MrsRC88]

I was a clomid baby. However, my parents had no problem conceiving my brother 9 months after I was born. In laws had problems getting pregnant with SIL but took no medication when they finally got pregnant, they had no issues with DH (he was an oopsie!).. DH was a premie, which makes me wonder if the problem is on his end.

[tikoberry99]

I'm adopted so my parents had issues. My mom had pretty severe endometriosis. They did seek help and she did some rounds of clomid along with temping to try to conceive through TI. My father's family is catholic and he wasn't allowed to marry my mom until she converted to catholicism so I suspect this is why they went the adoption route instead of IVF. I am an atheist and do not understand my parents decision in regards to not going through with IVF (I understand the religious reasons in regards to the catholic church, but think it is insane to make family planning decisions based on a religion - sorry if that offends anyone, plus the both of them are NOT religious so I wonder if they regret not trying IVF).

Needless to say I ALWAYS had a weird feeling I would have issues conceieing, most likely due to the fact I am adopted and my younger brother is adopted, so that is all I know.

[luchich]

My mom had 6 pregnancies and 4 children from age 21-39. No issues at all. My sister has 2 kids that are 10 months apart (both born 2 months early) she got pregnant within 6 weeks from the birth of my niece. So you can imagine my surprise when I was told I had unexplained infertility. I thought I would be so fertile like my mom and sister. So frustrating!

[cinzink]

Wow. So I just found out my mom had an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit that she had removed when she had appendicitis when she was 14. She just told me over the phone that it doesn't matter if you only have one ovary and she only told me about the appendix because she thought the cyst didn't matter. Good to know, it's not like they're hereditary and that most likely caused the extreme damage on my left side...
I only asked her because of this specific post brought the question up. So the times when I experienced extreme pain during menses and chronically that she told me I needed to deal with it instead of taking me to a doctor. Thanks mom. *SMH*

[durham1008]

As far as I know, no issues. I am one of five. I know they tried for my youngest brother for almost two years but my mom was 38 when she got pregnant that time. She might have used Clomid for that pregnancy but I don't know for sure. She had vanishing twin syndrome on the last pregnancy. DH's family has no issues as far as we know. His grandma got pregnant as a teenager. His mom got pregnant with him in her early 20s. Neither of them ever married or tried to get pregnant so...no way to know for sure what would have happened if they had wanted to get pregnant.

[bluejello]

My H is the oldest of 3, all perfectly spaced 2 years apart, no issues there! His brother is single so we don't know if he has issues, and his sister conceived 2 children with absolutely no effort. Not that I'm envious or anything

[yoshijo28]

Yup! She didn't have trouble with my sister but after 7 years of trying for me, she took Clomid at 37 and became pregnant.

[tumbleweed]

Wow, so far, six of us are Clomid babies! I didn't expect the percent of mothers who had TTTC to be so high. It seems higher than the average of 1 in 8. There must be some connection between mothers having problems and daughters having problems- but I'm not a scientist, so all I can do is marvel at the number.

tikoberry99 do you feel like your parents have been supportive of your decision to pursue ART? No worries if that's too personal. I've not mentioned that we are doing IVF to most of my family, because my mother's side is very religious and I don't want to offend anyone. My dad's side is less so, but I haven't had the guts to bring it up. I'm just scared of people saying something that might hurt.

NariaDreaming has your mom been supportive of your TTTC? I ask because my best friend is adopted and her mom went through a lot TTTC-wise before adopting her. Her mom has actually been one of the most supportive people to me, since she went through everything I've been through, as far as losses etc. She's fascinated by IVF, and the possibilities it brings, because it wasn't available to her when she was TTC.

SweetieShellie that story about finding out via the family tree is INSANE. I feel like that had to be a crazy moment for everyone. Man.

I'm also amazed at the amount of endo, fibroids general troubles that so many of the mothers, aunts, and g'mothers had/have. I wonder if that could be connected to any of this.

Anyway...thanks everyone for clicking -- I feel like I've learned a lot about everyone and all of this is certainly interesting. I definitely should have included a clicky for the dad's side too though -- maybe someone else will do that one sometime.

[tumbleweed]

yoshijo28 your picture is amaze. Haaaa!!!!!

[bellefontaine]

My Mom had no trouble getting pregnant with me and my younger sister. She did however try for years for a third. She had an HSG done which showed a blocked/non working tube but that's as far as she went with testing or treatments and was never able to conceive naturally. I've been curious of this as well so I'm glad you asked this question!

[moto611]

My parents tried for 3 years to get pregnant with me. My mom had super irregular cycles. I feel bad for her because it sounds like every time it had been a while since she had her period, she thought she was pregnant. (I guess they didn't have hpts back then? As much as I hate seeing BFNs, not-knowing would be worse) They finally went to go see a doctor, he gave her clomid, and they conceived me that cycle. Same thing with my brother - one round of clomid. My sister came after that and was a complete surprise. My mother had assumed she couldn't get pregnant without clomid - oops!

[Deleted]

My older brother is a honeymoon baby, so clearly my mom didn't have any issues there. She did have one MC in between having my brother and I. But that was it. However, by the time my mom was my age she had endometriosis and fibroids. Bad to the point that she had a hysterectomy by 39 (If my memory servers my right 39 or 40). DH's mom had 4 kids with no problems.

[shortstuff]

Nope, I was a surprise! My mom had an IUD in when I was conceived!

[SunnyinCA]

*loss mentioned*
My mother had a miscarriage and then me. My grandmother had 3 children with a miscarriage in between each one.

I've never even been that far along to know how I'll carry. Still waiting for the egg to stick since the doctors were able to help us fertilize the egg.

[tikoberry99]

tumbleweed I love your name!

My parents know we are struggling with infertility, but they don't think we have "tried" long enough to undergo treatments (we started actively trying while we were dating and we just got engaged in Nov so this could have been their response since we weren't married). I told them I might need an advance on my inheritance to pay for IVF and they asked if we were open to adoption and I said "duh obviously!" but that would only be an option if IVF failed. My parents are not practicing catholics and even if they were it's not their choice or their business about our choices for family planning. I already told my mom last year when we were drunk that I was an atheist and my future husband is agnostic and we would not be baptizing the child or bringing it up in a church. Again sorry if this is offensive to anyone.

[tikoberry99]

@nariadreaming Hello fellow adoptee!I don't know many adult adopted people out there so I'm THRILLED you are on this board! I had a closed adoption so I don't know any details about my birth parents except they were in college and decided on adoption instead of abort. I suspect since they were so young (18/19) I have bio siblings out there somewhere, but who knows!

edit: cause I can't tag

[tikoberry99]

@nariadreaming I couldn't tag you in my last post!

[remylove1011]

This is really interesting to hear everyone's background!

**loss mentioned**

My mom is actually adopted and her bio mom had her at 19. My mom got pregnant with my brother at 20 and ended up marrying my dad (it worked out well for them and they are still married almost 32 years later). She had one miscarriage and then had me at 23. Then they waited and had my sister at 28. Besides the one miscarriage they had no problems conceiving.

My grandmother (not biologically related) was never able to conceive and adopted my mom and her two brothers. She had a full hysterectomy when my mother was very young after multiple issues (no one ever really talks about it exactly.

My aunt on my dad's side did IVF and I have cousins that are triplets (They put in two eggs and one of the eggs split, so two of the girls are identical). They had tried for many years without success.

Since we're dealing with MFI it would seem like something would be on MH's side, but everyone had kids without issue. MH has an older sister and his bio dad's family is filled with kids.

[cindal]

My mom had no trouble the first time, my brother was an oopsie baby while she was on b/c at 21. 2 years later they decided to tfas and it took over a year. That'd be me. They had decided it wasn't meant to be and had given up by the time she found out.

[tumbleweed]

remylove1011 isn't it crazy that a family member can have a hysterectomy and no one talks about it? My mom had a hysterectomy when I was born (they took me out via C-section and removed her ute immediately, during the same surgery) and I didn't know this until I was in college. Seriously...wtf? So, my mom had major surgery on the day I was born, but no one thought I'd like to know.

[tumbleweed]

tikoberry99 thanks! My H started calling me Tumbleweed when we first dated. Now, he calls me something else, but I still like Tumbleweed

[dancerspose]

Part of what's been so difficult for me to swallow on this IF journey is that my whole life, especially when talking about someone who used ART, my mother would say something along the lines of "fortunately no one in our family has had trouble getting or staying pregnant!" It's ine of the reasons I haven't "come out" to family. So, gee, thanks mom for making me feel even more screwed up.

My mom waiting until she was 29 to have her first kid and had me at 36 so yay for her (sorry, thinking about it makes me bitter).

[fightersince83]

Nope, my mom was another annoying one that barely tried at all. There are 3 of us, and she had no real problems. She and her sisters did have fibroids which later prompted several of them to get hysterectomies, but none of them had any difficulty ttc...lucky me. My SIS showed no fibroids for me.