So I'm hoping y'all can help provide some insight/advice for me here..I'm struggling with a decision on this.
With DS1, from when he was born he never had a great latch. he ended up being readmitted to the nicu fot jaundice and his weightloss, so I basically got stuck pumping and supplementing with formula since he was 5 days old. My supply really never came in anyway so we ended up switching to all formula by 3 weeks.
Ds2 OTOH, had a great latch from the start, but again started to get jaundiced, so having been thru what we went thru with DS1, I immediately started supplementing to get him eating and flush the jaundice.
Welp..feels like my milk has started to come in, and now ds2 is refusing the breast. I'm feeling incredibly sad bc when I felt my milk come in this time, I really thought things were gonna go well with BFing this time around. Now he just screams when I try to get him to latch. He'll take the bottle no problem, but doesn't want the breastnow..for the last 2 feedings this has happened.
I refuse to be stuxk to a pump, so I feel like at this point, I either just switch to Eff or something magical happens and he takes the breast he was seemingly crazy about before I started supplementing. I realize this is probably feeling like a bigger deal than it really is bc my hormones are raging, but ugh.
Anyone have any advice? Feeling so conflicted really sucks.
Suggestion 1 is pump now while you figure it out as to not lose your supply.
Does your pedi's office have a LC you can talk to? Ours was a HUGE help. She gave me a nipple shield to help with pain. I would call a LC ASAP if you want to breastfeed.
Post by snarkysparklefart on Jan 20, 2015 16:15:48 GMT -5
Can you see or talk to a lactation consultant about what might be causing him not to latch or want to BF? That's thr only real tip I have. Other than that, good luck with however you choose. I used to be a real ass about breast being best, but what's really best is feeding your kid, the best way that you can, which includes what works best for you both.
As long as he's getting fed you are doing a great job. If you want to keep going though have you considered a nipple shield? Maybe that will get him to latch for now?
Post by theseaword on Jan 20, 2015 16:18:45 GMT -5
Try using a nipple shield. I used one with DS1 until he figured it out around 12 weeks. My other suggestion would be to start with a bottle to take the hunger edge off, then switch him to booby when he's less frantic.
Suggestion 1 is pump now while you figure it out as to not lose your supply.
Does your pedi's office have a LC you can talk to? Ours was a HUGE help. She gave me a nipple shield to help with pain. I would call a LC ASAP if you want to breastfeed.
Good luck with whatever you choose
Well we have been using a nipple shield, and I figured, if anything that would at least help to avoid nipple confusion between breast and bottle. I also use tommee tippee slow flow nipples, but the flow is obviously still faster than breast, which I think is why he is irefusing the breast now. Hes annoyed that hes not getting milk fast enough.
I can call the hospital's LC, but I'm really afraid they're gonna tell me I need to pump to make this work...which isn't what I want to do. I hate pumping with a fiery passion.
Post by ladyviking on Jan 20, 2015 16:24:15 GMT -5
I'm new but I was exactly where you are. My son was in the nicu from day 7-18 and just got used to a bottle. Became a lazy eater and would latch and would only comfort nurse. Never drink. I think pumping to ensure supply is a good idea while you make your decision and I felt better giving up once I'd seen a lactation consultant. I needed to know I had tried everything and that he just simple wasn't going to.
However you feed your baby is the best way to feed your baby. The emotions that come with it while holding a screaming baby though are a mindfuck. Good luck!
Suggestion 1 is pump now while you figure it out as to not lose your supply.
Does your pedi's office have a LC you can talk to? Ours was a HUGE help. She gave me a nipple shield to help with pain. I would call a LC ASAP if you want to breastfeed.
Good luck with whatever you choose
Well we have been using a nipple shield, and I figured, if anything that would at least help to avoid nipple confusion een breast and bottle. I also use tommee tippee slow flow nipples, but the flow is obviously still faster than breast, which I think is why he refusirefusing the breat now. Hes annoyed that hes not getting milk fast enough.
I can call the hospital's LC, but I'm really afraid they're gonna tell me I need to pump to make this work...which isn't what I want to do. I hate pumping with a fiery passion.
Have you tried paced bottle feeding so the milk isn't as fast from a bottle? Maybe try to stimulate letdown before he latches? I would call the LC anyways. Worst they could say is for you to pump to make it work and if that's the case than at least you tried. They could have other suggestions for you. Good luck.
Post by daometjing on Jan 20, 2015 16:29:04 GMT -5
First of all, huge hugs to you. My DD never latched well, so I ended up EPing for 6ish months and it was HARD.
Postpartum hormones definitely make feeding issues feel so huge. I felt like a failure as a mother, an as a woman, so I completely get the guilt. Looking back at things now, I wish I had been kinder to myself.
If you decide you want to try to breastfeed, definitely call an LC. She may suggest pumping for a while, but it may be a very short term thing. She may also just be able to help with holds and things to encourage him to feed. If you decide to switch to formula, that is ok too. You have one son who thrived on formula, an this one will too. You need to do what is right for both of you.
Most of all, take care of yourself. Try not to feel guilty, no matter what you choose. I know that is easier said than done.
Post by wallyworld on Jan 20, 2015 16:57:12 GMT -5
All good advice. Wanted to add that when my baby had a nursing strike in the past, he was more receptive to the boob when sleepy. When you anticipate him waking soon to eat, wake him up halfway and try to get a latch when half asleep. But if this and all the other advice fails you, please don't beat yourself up about it!
I also suggest checking out paced feeding when you bottle feed, so the baby has to work for the milk in the bottle. The bottom line is whether FF or BF, your baby is being fed and that's really all that matters in the end! Like the others have said, meet with a LC and pump in the meantime if you want to try to keep BF. The first month is really difficult, but over time it does get easier.
Thanks all for the sound advice. Its much appreciated. I know when DS1 was a baby, I worked tirelessly with the LCs at the hospital due to latching issues and supply issues. There is high suspicion that I have what's called insufficient glandular tissue (not enough mammary glands in my breast, therefore I cannot produce enough not sustain the baby exclusively) in at least my left breast, if not both.
Basically when I'd pump, I was pumping maybr an ounce out my right breast, but nothing more than a few drops out of the left..even with taking shitloads of fenugreek, nursing and pumping. So we ended up going the EFF route after all that.
This time around, when DS2 latched so well to start, i got a glimmer of hope that maybe that wasn't the issue after all and my supply would magically appear. But, I just pumped again and pretty much confirmed why he's refusing the breast. Once again, my left is producing no more than a few drops, while my right is producing almost an ounce.
I promised myself I wasnt going to make myself nuts with the decision tthis time around, and DS seems quite content after his bottles, so I'm thinking we may just go the formula route after all. It just sucks that the Pp hormones make the whole thing such a mindfuck.
It blows that you apparently wanted to BF yet because of jaundice you were instructed to FF. Why put a mom through that?
Great advice above. Best of luck and remember: if babe is getting fed, it's all good.
just to clarify, I wasn't exactly instructed to FF per se, it was more so out of fear that we started supplementing. DS1 had jaundice and ended up needing to be re admitted to the nicu for it at 5 days old, where we needed to supplement to gwt him fed bc my supply was such shit.
Having been thru all that, I didnt want to talk any chances this time around so I chose to supplement right away instead of running the risk of the jaundice getting worse.
So I'm hoping y'all can help provide some insight/advice for me here..I'm struggling with a decision on this.
With DS1, from when he was born he never had a great latch. he ended up being readmitted to the nicu fot jaundice and his weightloss, so I basically got stuck pumping and supplementing with formula since he was 5 days old. My supply really never came in anyway so we ended up switching to all formula by 3 weeks.
Ds2 OTOH, had a great latch from the start, but again started to get jaundiced, so having been thru what we went thru with DS1, I immediately started supplementing to get him eating and flush the jaundice.
Welp..feels like my milk has started to come in, and now ds2 is refusing the breast. I'm feeling incredibly sad bc when I felt my milk come in this time, I really thought things were gonna go well with BFing this time around. Now he just screams when I try to get him to latch. He'll take the bottle no problem, but doesn't want the breastnow..for the last 2 feedings this has happened.
I refuse to be stuxk to a pump, so I feel like at this point, I either just switch to Eff or something magical happens and he takes the breast he was seemingly crazy about before I started supplementing. I realize this is probably feeling like a bigger deal than it really is bc my hormones are raging, but ugh.
Anyone have any advice? Feeling so conflicted really sucks.
I exclusively pumped and supplemented for the first 12 weeks, it was exhausting! I understand how you feel. Have your tried a lactation consultant? I'm sure it has been suggested already but that is an option. It was a big deal to me too I felt immense pressure from some family members to breastfeed. My mom said it best: do what's right for you and your family! If pumping is making you miserable, then that's not best for your family. You have enough to worry about with recovery from birth, and in your case another kid. Don't beat yourself up, whatever you choose from your heart is what's best for your family. just keep trying to breastfeed and possibly look for a lactation consultant in your area. There is also I support group, forgive me I don't remember the name. They have meetings all over the country!
www.lalecheleague.org/nb.html Is the support group I couldn't remember the name of. If that's the route you choose. Remember, give yourself a break pp hormones are the absolute worst and make everything bigger. no matter how you end up feeding your baby your doing a great job
I'm new but I was exactly where you are. My son was in the nicu from day 7-18 and just got used to a bottle. Became a lazy eater and would latch and would only comfort nurse. Never drink. I think pumping to ensure supply is a good idea while you make your decision and I felt better giving up once I'd seen a lactation consultant. I needed to know I had tried everything and that he just simple wasn't going to.
However you feed your baby is the best way to feed your baby. The emotions that come with it while holding a screaming baby though are a mindfuck. Good luck!
+1
I also pumped for 7 weeks due to a long NICU stay. The hospital pushed and pushed bfing but once I got them home DS would only comfort nurse though he loved his bottle. DD had a dairy allergy so that's a whole other issue.
We switched to fully FF by 8 weeks old and haven't looked back. Sure, it got pretty pricey for awhile but you do what you gotta do!
You're doing a great job no matter which way you end up going! Good luck
Have you tried starting with the bottle and then switching them out in the middle of him eating?
Actually thats what I stArted doing when i noticed him starting to refuse the breast. I'd give a little of the bottle to take the edge off, and then switch to the breast.
Now that I pumped and realized I'm really getting only a few drops out of my left nd almost an ounce out the right, its not surprising that he's refusing the breast as his appetite increases.
ok so first how much you pump means absolutely nothing about how much milk you are making or how much milk you can make. some moms (like me and probably you too) NEVER really let down for a pump. So pumping just tells you how much milk you can pump.
second, the amout you did pump today if your milk is just now coming in sounds perfect for a baby that is less than a week old. Baby's stomach is the size of a marble when bor, by day 3 it might be the size of a shooter marble, then it stretches every day as your milk comes in. So by 3 weeks the size of their stomach is about 2.5-3 oz. But right now at what seems to be less than 1 week of age pumping 1 oz at all is perfect.
Soooooo what do you do? Go see an LC for assistance getting baby to latch. Even if they tell you to pump, you can talk to them about any and all other options to get baby nursing.
In the meantime, tommy tippy nipples for many find them to be WAY TOO FAST of flow. Get a premie nipple that when you hold it upside down no milk comes out. Adjust amount in the bottle downward to the appropriate amt--probably 1 oz at a feeding at 10-12 feeds a day right now.
Spend lots and lots of time skin to skin with baby with no shirt on. Let them see that the breast is a comfy place to hang out. This increases their instinct to nurse. Be careful when offering to nurse, if you push on the back of their head to pull them to your breast, babies have an instinct to clamp down and pull back and refuse to latch to keep from being suffocated. holding the base of their skull or their head on your arm that Brings the whole baby to the breast, or baby on a boppy pillow or on the bed with side lying Also try other positions, side lying or football hold.
If you are worried about your supply, cause you think you have insufficient glandular tissue, consider really talking to an IBCLC lactation consultant about this worry. Most moms gain in glandular tissue and ductwork with each subsequent pregnancy. Some herbs really help with that, like goats rue, blessed thistle, alfalfa, in addition to fenugreek.
Right now your body is growing the ductwork and milk making aveoli that you need--and that is influenced by how well and how frequently the breast is emptied in the first weeks. That is why we suggest that until you give it some time and get some help, try to keep your options open for continuing to breastfeed by pumping or hand expressing your milk frequently.
A supplemental nursing system to give formula, or expressed breastmilk or even donor milk to baby as your milk comes in and grows in amt can be helpful to get baby instant milk, more milk than you are making and milk at the breast to stimulate your body to make more milk. this also takes the bottle out of the equation which helps you with the bottle preference part.
Breastfeeding is hard work, and with your prior experience it's ok to be worried. Do yourself the favor of at least trying to get help, so you won't wonder in a few weeks what you did wrong. youll know you gave it a shot.
As for the guilt for moving to formula, why would you feel guilty for that? While the majority of the babies start out breastfed in hospital, between 3-6 months that switches so the majority of babies are formula fed. Why should you feel guilty about doing what the majority does? Cut yourself some slack there.
I will suggest visiting the bfing board here for more support and ideas and also find an IBCLC preferably one outside of the hospital setting that has more community wide experience. Often a reason for baby not latching is tongue ties, which runs in families, so be sure someone checks well for that too.
Try using a nipple shield. I used one with DS1 until he figured it out around 12 weeks. My other suggestion would be to start with a bottle to take the hunger edge off, then switch him to booby when he's less frantic.
exactly this. my kid wouldn't latch without making me bleed without a nipple shield, then around 3 months latched like a champ. We bfed till 19 months! Good luck!
To me, it sounds like FF would relieve some stress for you! Don't beat yourself up if that is the route you would like to take. FF is great and others can help you feed the baby which is an added bonus. Whatever is going to make you and baby happiest and stress-free.
I have no more suggestions since you already received really great advise. You are doing great and please don't feel guilty about any choice, as long as baby is fed all is good in the world.
Post by nattyncbride on Jan 21, 2015 10:23:26 GMT -5
Others have given you fabulous advice, and I can't add much more. What I can say is: whatever you decide, it will be what is best for you and DS2. He will be healthy. He will be happy. He will thrive. You will have a close bond with him. With the breast, with pumped milk, with formula.
I had a different story, but many similarities. I beat myself up. It took a toll of my relationship with LO. I speak from that perspective. Everything will be OK, yo will figure it out.
Post by theotherjacobsons on Jan 21, 2015 10:43:19 GMT -5
I had the same thing happen to me. It took about a month of EP and introducing the breast at the end of meals before she took the breast. Now we EBF. I thought I'd share so you'd know it is possible if you decide to give it a try. Bottom line, you're doing a great job no matter how you feed your baby.
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I sincerely hate that guilt over how one feeds a baby is even an issue. If you want to stick it out there are a lot of resources out there that can help you. If you don't want to stick it out, that's okay. Having a happier, less stressed mom is also important for your baby. Don't ever feel guilty for taking the whole situation into consideration when making a decision about what is best for you, your new baby, and your whole family.
Thank you and every one else for the kind words and advice.
Its really such a mindfuck when it comes to BFing, PP hormones, and all that jazz. I told myself fromthe beginning that I wasnt gonna let this make me crazy, and that if it worked out, great..if not, than it is what it is and we'd do formula.
But now that the baby is here and hormones are involved, it feels like this huge deal, even though the decision should be an easy one, that I've mulled over so many times in my head.
I don't have any business giving advice because I failed miserably trying to breastfeed both of mine. I just wanted to add another comment so you know you aren't alone in your struggle. I was terribly depressed about it, and it's at the top of my list for why I think I'm done at 2. I know for me I was letting the judgment of other people cloud my own feelings. In my heart I knew that I was feeding my baby and that was what mattered. Best of luck at whatever YOU decide to do because it is your decision and your baby will thrive regardless.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.