So, one of DH's close friends was recently let go from his job a few hours south of us. He's been searching back in our area and hasn't had much luck (although I don't think he has been searching very hard) He moved home with his parents last week, and just yesterday, finally got an offer for a decent position. Anyway, the dilemma is this- his new job will give him housing (he is a leading agent at a apartment complex) but only after he has been with the company for 30 days. He has asked us if he can stay with us until then.
My gut reaction is no. I am almost 30 weeks pregnant. We have other guests coming to stay with us during that time and we only have one guest room. We have 2 happy cats, and he would be bringing his as well- which could be tough for ours. DH goes away on business a few times a week, so I'd be home with his friend a few evenings a week by myself. I am selfish and want all of the "us" time I can get with DH before our LO comes. What if I go into labor early?!
On the flip side: I know he needs a place to stay and I feel like such a jerk for saying no. DH told him that he would have to talk to me about it first- so if I say no, his friend will know that I'm the reason we aren't letting him stay with us. He doesn't have many other friends in the area, so I'm not sure what else he'll do.
What do you guys think? What would you do in this situation?
I could not do a guest for more than a day at this point. I want to walk around in a braless tank top, with my belly hanging out all. the. time. right now. There is no way I could cover up for someone for the next 10 weeks.
I would say no, it's not a good time. 30 days doesn't sound like much but if you aren't comfortable with it that's going to be a really really long time.
Nope. There are extended stay hotels and motels that he could do. I would not want/need all that stress (No matter how good a friend/family member they are - house guests are stress) right before I am due.
I don't even like the fact that my ILs will be staying with us for a week.
Post by honeybunches101 on Apr 7, 2015 15:11:40 GMT -5
Does he have any other friends to stay with? I would maybe let him stay for 5 days to a week, but thats it. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. One of her good friends was going to stay for a couple weeks and they ended up having to kick him out months later. It was not good.
I would say no- it's such bad timing. At this point I just want to lay around braless in my pjs when I'm home and not deal with anyone. I couldn't handle guests for more than a night, let alone a month. I know you feel bad about it, but I'd decline- if he's a good friend he'd understand given the circumstances. There's always extended stay hotels/motels that he could use.
I would say no. Even if I wasn't pregnant I would probably say no. But especially at 30 weeks pregnant, I'm walking around in underwear most of the time and do not have patience for houseguests. H's cousin spent the night for one night last month and I felt totally cramped by him being there even for such a short amount of time.
And as for him knowing it's you who said no…I would just have DH phrase it to him as "You know man, it's just really bad timing with it being so close to the due date. Another time and it might be a different story, but right now, it's just not a great idea" and leave it at that.
What would he be doing if you guys didn't live there? I assume he wasn't looking in that area just because you guys live there. So, if he had gotten the job there, and you didn't live there, what was his plan?
Why cant he continue to stay with his parents? Do they live too far away from the new job?
This is my question, too. I would not feel comfortable with this guy staying with us during this time. I am so uncomfortable and do not want to have to "entertain," especially since YH is not around every night. That's just not a good/fun time.
Post by mrskblack11 on Apr 7, 2015 16:57:34 GMT -5
No way. I wouldn't even let a family member stay more than a weekend. I am one of those people that feels guilty for saying no, but he is an adult and will have to pay for an extended stay hotel. It is rude of him to want to freeload off of y'all for so long.
Why cant he continue to stay with his parents? Do they live too far away from the new job?
Yes- his parents live over 3 hours away. Sorry I failed to mention that part. I agree with all of you... I just have a hard time putting my foot down, I guess. DH and I are going out to dinner tonight (he made reservations!!) so I am sure we will talk about it then
Post by laurenlou83 on Apr 7, 2015 17:29:36 GMT -5
I have a really hard time saying no to people... But at 30 weeks pregnant I would definitely say nope! I'd let him stay a few nights, a weekend, but 30 straight days? That is a lot. The next 10 weeks are your last as 'just you and your husband', there is no way I would share that time with anyone, and that includes best friends and family.
I'm another that has a hard time saying no....but in this case, I would. You have a lot of prep to do, and you're just going to get more uncomfortable as the weeks pass. He is a grown man, and he needs to plan accordingly. And who cares if he thinks you're the one that said no. You're the one that's pregnant!! Also, anytime someone asks my husband for a favor that will affect us and our life, he ALWAYS tells them he has to talk to me about it first. Just part of being a good communication partner and a healthy marriage.
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