POLL: Why are you a SAHM?

[KC thepouchh8r]

I kind of fit into both. I always wanted to sah until my kids hit school age. When dd started having medical issues at two it's become a more permanent arrangement now.

[bakingbetty]

Wow, so much diversity here!

I never saw myself as a SAHM mom while I was working (after college)... not even after getting married; however, once my first was born, it was hard to go back. Thankfully my husbands job can support us all and I don't ever have to return to work if I don't find something conducive to his schedule and having two kids in school (which isn't all day, they get out before 3pm!). Right now, I'm really enjoying the free time, though I mostly fill it with cleaning, going to the gym, and doing all the stuff that we use to do on weekends.

[capulet]

It's a combination of factors for us, mostly coming down to what works best for our family. DH earns enough that I can stay home, and has a variable schedule (usually regular hours but sometimes evenings and weekends) so it's easier for us if I can be flexible. I probably couldn't make enough to cover daycare or much more, especially with #3 on the way. Even if I did, I don't think it would be worth the stress. I like being a SAHM and I feel like I'm able to get enough intellectual stimulation from reading, talking to DH about our similar interests, nerding out on the BNB, and so on.

[briarrose]

I said SS because I work 1-3 days per week outside the home, but 2 out of 3 days LO comes with me. I want to SAH full-time, but I started my own business right before I got pregnant, so I cant completely throw that away right now. I will SAH full time once we have another LO. I am still working on convincing DH that it will all be fine. I will go back to work once they are in school. (Apparently he finds this hard to believe which majorly pisses me off)

[BostonKisses]

Medical reasons. Initially it was because of her prematurity and being on total lockdown until the end of RSV season, and once we got the CF dx we knew it would be more permanent.

[LizInFL]

I voted "this is what works best for our family right now".

My mom SAH and I always hoped to do the same with my kids. Then, the timing just worked out...DH is a Navy pilot and was given 1-year orders in a new city, and I was 4 months pregnant when we moved, so it didn't make sense for me to work just for a few months. So that became our trial run, and we both were really happy with my being home. DH makes a good living and as PPs said, the extra $ isn't worth the stress of dealing with 2 schedules (one of which is not 8-5 and involves long and/or spur-of-the-moment absences). 

As far as working when the kids are in school...honestly, it will just depend on where we are in DH's military career. We'd like to go overseas, which would make my working more difficult, and we'd want to be able to travel when DH had time off. I did my undergraduate degree in interior design, and I do miss it, so maybe at some point I'll just do a little bit on the side...that would be my ideal for when the kids are older and don't need ol' mom as much.

[lala]

Jan 21, 2015 10:53:41 GMT -5 maroongolf said:

Jan 21, 2015 9:56:33 GMT -5 lalamomma said:

DH makes enough to cover our bills and give us a comfortable lifestyle. I don't need to work, and I love being home with DD. Even if I did work I probably wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for 2 kids since I don't have a degree. Our plan was always that I wouldn't work more than part time (if I wanted to) until after kids were in school. Before kids and after DD was born I had a photography business, but we moved and it just wasn't a priority for me to build a new clientele here.
I would like to go back to school and finish my degree though. That will be happening soon, but slowly a class or two at a time until DD and the LO we have on the way are in school/preschool.

I guess you are not the same lalamama that used to post on SAHM?

Hi, no, that's me. I was so confused when I read her screen name!!! I dropped the mama part for both of the pro boards sites.

[lilqt3929]

I voted its best for our family right now. I would have had a little extra money after paying daycare with my paycheck but after DD was born I couldn't imagine leaving her with anyone else and was actually having panic attacks about it. We decided I would just stay home, which is great because it allows DH to work OT when necessary. I am very fortunate to be able to stay home with DD

[NandaB]

Jan 21, 2015 11:30:27 GMT -5 lalamomma said:

Jan 21, 2015 10:53:41 GMT -5 maroongolf said:

I guess you are not the same lalamama that used to post on SAHM?

IF I posted there it was maybe a few times. Nothing really recently and I used to have a different SN there, but couldn't remember it and changed my email so I lost access.  So I doubt that was me.

.super weird for someone who says they lurked to take the name of a prolific poster. I mean, Lala was not commenting on every tablecloth and work from home post, but she commented a lot. Surely you saw that.

[lala]

Yea, I have to admit this is creepy. It's not exactly a common name. New lalamomma , how did you come up with your name?

[pinklepop]

I just started being a SAHM. I've wanted to be one for a few years, even before having my baby! I just love the idea of working to support and improve my family life at home. It's something my mom always wanted to do but just couldn't afford to. I feel lucky to be able to. My mom did so much for me as a working mom! I plan to volunteer lots in my community, with the kids, and at church.

[shanniegal]

I've always wanted to be a SAHM. When DH and I first got married, he wanted me to SAH, but I didn't feel comfortable with that not having kids yet (family and social pressure), so I worked part time. Im glad I'll finally be a mom and I hope I enjoying staying home as much as I think I will.

[Leapinglizards]

I was commuting 5+ hours a day to and from work. I probably could have done it but the logistics would have been a nightmare and the time missed away from DD not worth it

[maroongolf]

Jan 22, 2015 14:02:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Yea, I have to admit this is creepy. It's not exactly a common name. New lalamomma , how did you come up with your name?

I thought it strange too. I lurked SAHM enough to know the name. Every poster on this site is from the bump, so probably shouldn't use another bumpies name. It's not like she went to babycenter with the name (might want to check that). Or maybe it is just a coincidence. 

[younglove316]

I was only working part time before we had DD so there's no way that would cover daycare and it was a retail job not on my field so I cut back to one day and it's what works best for us. Maybe someday if I can find something I truly love I will go back but for now we are able to live comfortably off my husband's pay.

[lalamomma]

I should say my SN is similar there, but not exactly the same. There it is Lalamomma I was multi-tasking when I made my name here. If there is a lalamama on TB I certainly didn't mean to 'steal' her name. I really didn't even realize I hadn't made it the same until I just checked.
I'm not some creep trying to be someone else.

[lalamomma]

Lala was sort of a play on mine DD's names Sorry I took your name I really didn't mean to.

[lalamomma]

There I changed it so it is the same as my SN there and I won't be confused with anyone else.

[lala]

Ha, it's okay, really. It was just a little odd & funny to me. I am not cool enough to have someone be my impostor!

[koofewok]

I chose SS. I'm canadian and have a year off maternity leave. I'm really enjoying my time off with my little guy. I definitely appreciate spending every day with him.

[awful]

Never wanted anything else. Once DH went active duty and we moved to our first base, I didn't look for a job. We didn't have any debt and we found that his paycheck was enough for us to be comfortable. Right now, I have zero plans on ever returning to work.

[velouria]

I chose because it is great for our family right now, but I think in my heart I always knew I wanted to be a SAHM. After DS1 was born I went back to work for six months and missed him like crazy. It was one of the saddest times in my life. Gratefully, DH got a new job that made staying home a no-brainer for me. I quit and never looked back. I left a successful career that I spent 10 years building, but I don't miss it at all and am much more fulfilled now.

I used to think I might go back when they both are in school, but right now I'd really rather plan to stay home indefinitely. I'd like to spend summers with them and be here when they get home from school.

[sugarkissed]

Prior to having DD, I was working as a flight attendant. I absolutely loved my job, but when maternity leave was up the idea of having to be gone for multiple days at a time seemed completely impossible. DH also works out of town, so it only seemed fair that one of us be home consistently. I love being a SAHM, but I also look forward to returning to work when the kids are in school.

[honeylemon]

I don't go here normally but I wanted to click things.

I voted "it works for our family"

I'm a trained birth doula but it's difficult to be on call for births when I have two, almost three littles at home. Once they're a bit older I plan to become a certified postpartum doula so I can have a more flexible schedule. Eventually I might do births, but not until the kids are much more independent.

Also, DH is active duty Air Force and we move every three years or so. It's difficult to set up a career when we move often. He retires in five years and that's when I'll probably start focusing more on my career.

[smilingeyes]

Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be a SAHM. Never imagined how exhausting it is, lol. 

For now - my paycheck wouldn't cover the expensive daycare in my area so staying at home just makes sense. I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

[beckyrosen]

I've always wanted to, but I didn't have the option with DS 11 years ago because I was a single mom. This time around was much different. I'm married now and while it'll be really tight financially we decided that it'll still be worth it. I'm very new at this (baby will be 7 weeks tomorrow ) but I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my kids.

[NandaB]

I like yoga pants and not washing my hair.

[wink568]

I voted. Even though I'm not the one staying home, DH will. It just wasn't worth the cost of daycare in relation to pay. Also, I was really really lucky when I was a child with an amazing daycare provider. She was like my second mom. Came to my birthday parties and even my wedding. I just don't think I'd be able to fairly pick out a daycare for LO since she set the bar so high.

[beckyrosen]

Jan 26, 2015 9:56:00 GMT -5 wink568 said:

I voted. Even though I'm not the one staying home, DH will. It just wasn't worth the cost of daycare in relation to pay. Also, I was really really lucky when I was a child with an amazing daycare provider. She was like my second mom. Came to my birthday parties and even my wedding. I just don't think I'd be able to fairly pick out a daycare for LO since she set the bar so high.

That's how it is with my son's sitter. She watched him starting when he was a year old until after he turned 11. She comes to his school functions, birthday parties, she was evwn at my baby shower. She and her husband are like a second set of grandparents to my son (we have not had contact with my son's father or his family since my son was 2). She even had my son over to make Christmas cookies and will be taking him to the movies soon. She had voiced to me that she wouldn't be able to take care of a baby (she's in her late 60s and has some health issues). I've been so blessed to have her watch my son, I don't even know if I could find someone else (conventional day care or not) who I would be happy with because I would compare it to her care of my son. I'm so thankful I have the opportunity to stay home with my son and my LO now, and that I didn't have to search for child care.


Eta, sorry for the long post

[bookwormama]

Well my boss was fired right before my mat leave started. New management team started pushing people out the door while I was gone. Went back for a couple of weeks, when my grandmother got sick I said see ya to take care of her, After she passed away in sept. I started watching a couple of kids for extra $. I worked years in medical and human services so I watch a few kids with disabilities and low income single moms.
I love it but I miss people to so it great but sucks somedays.
I lurk and post around a lot of different boards