The 14 day agonizing and nerve racking mindfuck 4/20-4/27

[lickwed]

STAAR testing starts tomorrow so I am posting this early as I will only be able to post here in the late afternoons/evenings.

Let's go ladies. This is the place you can talk about all the craziness that comes with the dreaded two week wait. Phantom symptoms, implantation dips and possible spotting, what you are doing to make the time fly by, and much much more. Post as often or as little as you want. We are here for you. Chart stalks available upon request or if there is a link, we may look just to pass the time or out of curiosity. Gifs are also welcome.

QOTW:  What is a non TTC related thing you are looking forward to during this 2WW.

[momtex]

Barf to the STAAR test lickwed! I'm free today but will be admnistering Tues and Wed.

I'm still hanging in the TWW. Waiting until Friday to test with every bit of strength that I have. I'm having zero phantom symptoms.

QOTW: What is a non TTC related thing you are looking forward to during this 2WW? Well we're one day closer to summer vacation. We're also going on a little mini vacay to Galveston this weekend.

[tat2mami]

Argh! I am on CD 24! AF came on 3/28. I'm on a pretty consistent 26-28 day cycle, if that makes any sense.. LoL
I don't even try to play into any phantom symptoms because it just messes with me. The only thing really out of the ordinary that I feel is kinda more tired than usual, an occasional feeling of dizziness, and recently more frequent urination. But that can all also be absolutely nothing. I haven't felt any real cramping or breast tenderness. It's different every month. Who the hell knows! I just wait it out like I do every other month!!

QOTW: We are having our National Crime Victims Rights Week event on Friday, which should be really nice. We will be honoring a man and his 6yo daughter who were in a car accident with a man under the influence of drugs and alcohol. The little girl (5yo at the time) is now paralyzed from the chest down. The dad has had tons of surgeries, but is okay. The defendant also killed his passenger in the crash. Needless to say, he is in prison where he belongs. So to tend on a happy note, it will be nice to see these two survivors honored. And also on Thursday, it's bring your child to work day. I hope she behaves!! LoL

[muscari]

Supposedly I'm starting AF today but so far nothing and also not much pre-AF/PMS stuff going on. On the other hand I do feel very similar to when I was pregnant in January (crazy fatigued, upset stomach, bit bloated, twinges, stuff like that) but that may well be wishfull-thinking-symptoms! I caved in and tested this Sunday with a BFN. Had hoped it'd give me peace of mind (which it did in a way) and I've been just waiting for AF to show up but.. gah!? I'm waiting till Thursday at least before testing again, as I may have ovulated a few days later then my app suggested and well, this is my second AF post-d/c so who knows how messed up it ends up being!

QOTW: I'm going away for a long weekend to the sea together with my mum and sister&co. I'm both looking forward to this as dreading it a bit.. I'm finding myself struggling with overwhelming feelings of sadness so much lately (stupid MC, stupid hormones, stupid everything) so I'm just hoping I will be able to keep a grip on things and have some me-time here and there to recharge from being surrounded by people and on the go all day. But should all be good. Hoping also for nice weather!


lickwed, maybe it's a stupid question but what is STAAR? Good luck!

momtex, wishing you strenght to wait things out till Friday then!

tat2mami, like you I used to just wait things out every month but I'm currently feeling a little obsessed LOL.. trying to be calm and collected which is hard at times hahaha. Hope you have a nice bring-your-kid-to-work day!

edited to fix tags..

[momtex]

Apr 21, 2015 5:25:26 GMT -5 muscari said:

momtex, wishing you strenght to wait things out till Friday then!

Ugh, I failed and tested this morning.  BFN.  All the BFPs around here got me excited!

[scorpioscuba]

So, I'm not in the 2WW for a BFP but just so we can get this dang baby making train rolling. AF was due Saturday and she is nowhere to be seen. I have no idea what is going on with my crazy, stupid body. I had my IUD removed after I ovulated so there is no possible way anything crazy could have happened.

momtex, there is still time though right? FX!
muscari, the sea sounds wonderful. That's my happy place. Hopefully everything will turn out well and you will come back relaxed and recharged.

[momtex]

Apr 21, 2015 9:12:45 GMT -5 scorpioscuba said:

So, I'm not in the 2WW for a BFP but just so we can get this dang baby making train rolling. AF was due Saturday and she is nowhere to be seen. I have no idea what is going on with my crazy, stupid body. I had my IUD removed after I ovulated so there is no possible way anything crazy could have happened.

momtex, there is still time though right? FX!
muscari, the sea sounds wonderful. That's my happy place. Hopefully everything will turn out well and you will come back relaxed and recharged.

Yes, I wasn't charting this cycle but I'm not expecting AF until Sun/Mon.   

[delenire]

I am pretty sure I left the place we call sanity this week with all the POAS I am doing and I am only at 9DPO I know it is crazy early too! I have had tender breasts since Friday night and that is not my normal. Aside from the girls being extra sensitive I am sure everything else I am feeling is just in my head.

What is STAAR?

[wirt2cute]

momtex, your not out until your out.

tat2mami, phantom symptoms normally get to me to, so I totally understand what you are talking about.
muscari,sorry about the bfn,but have fun on your long weekend.

delenire, we all have moments.  

AFM I am on CD 23/ 7 dpo. Thanks pretty much it. Nothing going on just waiting this cycle out until next month.

[zombiesquad]

Me right now.

I have cramps. Just waiting on AF to show her ugly face so we can get this show on the road.

[momtex]

For the non-Texans, STAAR is our state assessment that is happening this week in our schools.

[scorpioscuba]

love the gif, zombiesquad! That is SO me right now!

[muscari]

Apr 21, 2015 7:34:20 GMT -5 momtex said:

Apr 21, 2015 5:25:26 GMT -5 muscari said:

momtex, wishing you strenght to wait things out till Friday then!

Ugh, I failed and tested this morning.  BFN.  All the BFPs around here got me excited!

I lost my determination to wait till Thursday as well when AF didn't show this morning and did one this afternoon.. double silly of coz since it wasn't fmu and all, another BFN. I'm okay with it being a BFN really (yes I am disappointed but at the same time okay as well, we didn't really try this month and only BD once like 2-3 days prior to O so the chances were really small to begin with, but then suddenly I got my hopes up after all.. but rationally I know and expected the BFN so wasn't too upset, if that all makes sense LOL!) just really frustrated that AF is playing tricks on me!

It's hard to keep our cool when the BFPs are flying around your head isn't it? I think for me it got me excited as well haha. We aren't out till we're out though, right? (hugs)

scorpioscuba, I hear you -- I too just wish that AF would show up as for me too that will mark the start of a new, fresh cycle and we can get that baby making going properly again!

momtex, thanks for the explanation... except I still am not quite sure what it is hahaha. Is it for highschoolers or for the teachers or..?

[tat2mami]

I am on CD 25 today. My Ovia App predicts AF should arrive this Thursday, even though I got AF last month on 3/28.
I feel non stop queasy and just kinda tired. It's really messing with me. No cramps or sore boobs. I don't know what the hell is going on so I figured this was the best place to vent about it. DH's birthday is next Thursday on the 30th. Wouldn't that be an awesome b-day present?

[momtex]

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:12 GMT -5 muscari said:

Apr 21, 2015 7:34:20 GMT -5 momtex said:

Ugh, I failed and tested this morning.  BFN.  All the BFPs around here got me excited!

I lost my determination to wait till Thursday as well when AF didn't show this morning and did one this afternoon.. double silly of coz since it wasn't fmu and all, another BFN. I'm okay with it being a BFN really (yes I am disappointed but at the same time okay as well, we didn't really try this month and only BD once like 2-3 days prior to O so the chances were really small to begin with, but then suddenly I got my hopes up after all.. but rationally I know and expected the BFN so wasn't too upset, if that all makes sense LOL!) just really frustrated that AF is playing tricks on me!

It's hard to keep our cool when the BFPs are flying around your head isn't it? I think for me it got me excited as well haha. We aren't out till we're out though, right? (hugs)

scorpioscuba, I hear you -- I too just wish that AF would show up as for me too that will mark the start of a new, fresh cycle and we can get that baby making going properly again!

momtex, thanks for the explanation... except I still am not quite sure what it is hahaha. Is it for highschoolers or for the teachers or..?

The STAAR is for students grades 3-12. Different grades take different subjects. It's known to be a totally assinine assessment that stresses everyone out. Texas has its own curriculum and not common core so we have our own assessment for the students.

[URMySunshine77]

Apr 21, 2015 17:47:28 GMT -5 momtex said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:12 GMT -5 muscari said:

I lost my determination to wait till Thursday as well when AF didn't show this morning and did one this afternoon.. double silly of coz since it wasn't fmu and all, another BFN. I'm okay with it being a BFN really (yes I am disappointed but at the same time okay as well, we didn't really try this month and only BD once like 2-3 days prior to O so the chances were really small to begin with, but then suddenly I got my hopes up after all.. but rationally I know and expected the BFN so wasn't too upset, if that all makes sense LOL!) just really frustrated that AF is playing tricks on me!

It's hard to keep our cool when the BFPs are flying around your head isn't it? I think for me it got me excited as well haha. We aren't out till we're out though, right? (hugs)

scorpioscuba, I hear you -- I too just wish that AF would show up as for me too that will mark the start of a new, fresh cycle and we can get that baby making going properly again!

momtex, thanks for the explanation... except I still am not quite sure what it is hahaha. Is it for highschoolers or for the teachers or..?

The STAAR is for students grades 3-12. Different grades take different subjects. It's known to be a totally assinine assessment that stresses everyone out. Texas has its own curriculum and not common core so we have our own assessment for the students.

lickwed and momtex:

Are your jobs personally affected based upon the results? I've heard that tenure is becoming more entwined with these assessments.

[nikolie93]

Hi all! Just coming in to be nosey, give a twat punch to all of AF's that have come, give positive juju for those still in it, and lotsa hugs

[lickwed]

Apr 21, 2015 17:47:28 GMT -5 momtex said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:12 GMT -5 muscari said:

*snip*

The STAAR is for students grades 3-12. Different grades take different subjects. It's known to be a totally assinine assessment that stresses everyone out. Texas has its own curriculum and not common core so we have our own assessment for the students.

Thanks for summing it up perfectly momtex.  I haven't been able to get to my computer all day.  Here's how our country's broke ass educational testing policies are in reality.

[Deleted]

tat2mami, testing when?

[lickwed]

Apr 21, 2015 17:49:48 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

Apr 21, 2015 17:47:28 GMT -5 momtex said:

The STAAR is for students grades 3-12. Different grades take different subjects. It's known to be a totally assinine assessment that stresses everyone out. Texas has its own curriculum and not common core so we have our own assessment for the students.

lickwed and momtex:

Are your jobs personally affected based upon the results? I've heard that tenure is becoming more entwined with these assessments.

Right now, because Texas isn't Common Core it is not, but there is a bill they are trying to pass in our state house right now to change that.  It doesn't effect something like tenure, only our yearly evaluations.  So if your students who are 2 years below grade level scored low on a test that is written above their level, you would be scored lower on your evaluation.   The state also took away the $100 pay increase each year you have been teaching.  So unless your district increases across the board salary, then you will make that amount until the day you retire.  Education right now is completely fucked up and we are losing so many quality teachers from low pay, burnout, and micromanaging from politicians with no educational knowledge.

End Soap Box

[lickwed]

Would someone mind taking over this thread next week? You should be able to copy and paste anything you want to use from this old thread. I think the title should stay the same though.

[URMySunshine77]

Apr 23, 2015 11:59:44 GMT -5 lickwed said:

Apr 21, 2015 17:49:48 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

lickwed and momtex:

Are your jobs personally affected based upon the results? I've heard that tenure is becoming more entwined with these assessments.

Right now, because Texas isn't Common Core it is not, but there is a bill they are trying to pass in our state house right now to change that.  It doesn't effect something like tenure, only our yearly evaluations.  So if your students who are 2 years below grade level scored low on a test that is written above their level, you would be scored lower on your evaluation.   The state also took away the $100 pay increase each year you have been teaching.  So unless your district increases across the board salary, then you will make that amount until the day you retire.  Education right now is completely fucked up and we are losing so many quality teachers from low pay, burnout, and micromanaging from politicians with no educational knowledge.

End Soap Box

So frustrating!

[tat2mami]

@kellbell - No testing needed. ... AF showed up in full force yesterday!!!!

[Deleted]

sad face here for you tat2mami,

[muscari]

Apr 23, 2015 12:02:31 GMT -5 lickwed said:

Would someone mind taking over this thread next week? You should be able to copy and paste anything you want to use from this old thread. I think the title should stay the same though.

I don't mind taking over the thread -- just for next week or? Just may be posting a smidge on the early side compared to usual since I'm in Europe but Monday is Monday right?

Awww tat2mami

I'm out myself as well, but am feeling quite okay about that actually. Started spotting last night and AF showed this morning. Which didn't come as a surprise nor disappointment no more per se, but stumped me none the less as I (think I) got an squinter on my hpt yesterday morning (which was prolly an evap as I had put it aside for a bit too long, but I figured it'd be worth retesting in a couple of days anyway if AF didn't show.. right?! lol) Just for the heck of it I did another hpt this morning even though I started spotting last night and got the same as yesterday.. how weird is that?! Bad batch? Bit ashamed to admit I didn't manage to leave the hpts in their packages and took 3 since my initial fail this weekend *blushes* But my anxiety has gone away (a honest talk with the husband night before last and a good cry helped with that as well I do think heh) so it was worth the bucks on the hpts. 

/end of rambles sorry I always get so lenghtly ugh

[muscari]

Apr 23, 2015 16:50:58 GMT -5 muscari said:

Apr 23, 2015 12:02:31 GMT -5 lickwed said:

Would someone mind taking over this thread next week? You should be able to copy and paste anything you want to use from this old thread. I think the title should stay the same though.

I don't mind taking over the thread -- just for next week or? Just may be posting a smidge on the early side compared to usual since I'm in Europe but Monday is Monday right?

Uhm scratch that - just realized I'm away for the weekend and won't come back till Tuesday... dumdumdum *bonks head*

[KirstenAlecia]

Hey ladies! I believe this is my first post in a TWW thread really....This was my first cycle charting and pinpointing ovulation. Charting has made me a little crazy I think.

Im 13DPO and on CD31. I will test Monday if AF doesn't arrive. Im sure she will as H wouldn't come near me during my FW cause I had a cold. We BD on CD14 & CD19 only that week and I O'd on CD18.

No symptoms but no AF signs either. meh!

Ive been CRAZY CRAZY busy with work and since its my own business Im working at all the odd hours. So that has kept me busy and occupied.

[wannabmama]

lickwed (and everyone else) I'll try taking this over if no one else wants to. I'll do my best to carry the torch

(As someone who relies heavily on the ability to safe vent the crazy here, I feel it's only fair, ha!)

[tez]

11 DPO for me and I actually said 'put down the pee stick' to myself this morning. If this doesn't work, then the appointment to discuss if IVF is an option for us is the beginning of May. It took 5 months to finally get this follow up appointment (doc takes a lot of holidays), and this will enable us to pay $500 to get on the 6 month waiting list for IVF, which will cost another $20K, I'm told.

I have very little faith in this Doctor and his 20% success rate. The man is getting rich off of being bad at his job. Every person he gets pregnant is one less customer. I live in Manitoba, which offers some tax deductions for fertility treatment for this clinic only, and it sounds like we are stuck with this guy. I fantasize about showing up to that appointment and finding out I am already pregnant.

Good luck everyone.

[momtex]

Still in the TWW. BFN this morning at CD28. I'm expecting AF to come this weekend.