Poll: Applying for childcare while TTC? (loss mentioned)

[shadesofgold]

Before my loss, I had started to do research into daycare in my area through articles, word of mouth and local message boards. I kept reading that I, at 7 weeks, was already too late to get a good, affordable childcare spot for an infant. More than a few people admonished me that I should have been shopping for daycare centers before I was even pregnant, because waiting lists can be so long. I thought this was crazy, but folks on my BMB confirmed that this was a common practice. It turned out to be a moot point for us since we miscarried before I could go to any of my tour appointments. But now that I'm back on the TTC side, I wonder if I should heed common wisdom and start trying to apply for childcare for some unknown future date when I might need it?

I still have such a hard time imagining how this works - are people just pretending they have a due date to get a spot? Or do providers expect to see people who aren't pregnant applying for spots? 

How do you feel about this whole thing? If you live in a competitive area, how are you handling this?

[longhornwino0907]

So let me clarify. I've heard of this. I don't know how I feel about it. And I don't know how competitive my area is. We will need daycare at least a few days a week, depending on when we have a child. My mom plans on retiring soon, and she lives nearby, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about being daycare every day as opposed to Nana a few days a week. We shall see. It's a discussion we'll have to have once I'm pregnant, so we can decide on how best to tackle the daycare issue.

[SheilaTheTank]

Are we talking daycare centers or in home daycare? I can't afford a daycare center so this is a moot point for me. I've poked around craigslist for in home daycare. There always seems to be an opening or two available. Unfortunately we have to shop on price.

ETA: I live in CT. I don't know if this makes a difference.

[piccyami]

From when my sister was pregnant, we found out that the really good places were pretty competitive. You needed to get on a list before you give birth, but you don't have to start looking before you get pregnant. We won't actually need daycare, though. My mom has my nephew during the day and has told me she'll take any future grandchildren as well.

[teraiin]

I've never heard of this and it seems pretty crazy to me. Granted I also live in a small area that doesn't seem all that competitive in terms of long wait lists and stuff...

My question is do these places expect a deposit of some kind? Or do you just like... put your name on the list for the 'future'. I guess I don't get it.

[shadesofgold]

Apr 21, 2015 15:08:05 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Are we talking daycare centers or in home daycare? I can't afford a daycare center so this is a moot point for me. I've poked around craigslist for in home daycare. There always seems to be an opening or two available. Unfortunately we have to shop on price.

ETA: I live in CT. I don't know if this makes a difference.

It seemed like this applied primarily to daycare centers but even quality/reputable in-home daycare. I would be needing something for a 3-month old in a major city. 

[shadesofgold]

Apr 21, 2015 15:10:09 GMT -5 teraiin said:

I've never heard of this and it seems pretty crazy to me. Granted I also live in a small area that doesn't seem all that competitive in terms of long wait lists and stuff...

My question is do these places expect a deposit of some kind? Or do you just like... put your name on the list for the 'future'. I guess I don't get it.

Most places required you to tour the facility before they'd give you any information about tuition or space availability. Then you submit an application and fee. We never got that far, so I don't know if they'd require a deposit, but I wouldn't be surprised.

[teraiin]

Apr 21, 2015 15:14:47 GMT -5 shadesofgold said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:10:09 GMT -5 teraiin said:

I've never heard of this and it seems pretty crazy to me. Granted I also live in a small area that doesn't seem all that competitive in terms of long wait lists and stuff...

My question is do these places expect a deposit of some kind? Or do you just like... put your name on the list for the 'future'. I guess I don't get it.

Most places required you to tour the facility before they'd give you any information about tuition or space availability. Then you submit an application and fee. We never got that far, so I don't know if they'd require a deposit, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I mean I've heard of women who are pregnant putting in a deposit. But for someone just TTC... that sounds so strange to me. I guess it's just not the norm for my area.

[awkwardturtle]

18 month waiting list.. Wow. I have vaguely researched day cares near our house, but the thought to apply pre pregnancy had never occurred to me.

[SheilaTheTank]

Apr 21, 2015 15:12:13 GMT -5 shadesofgold said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:08:05 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Are we talking daycare centers or in home daycare? I can't afford a daycare center so this is a moot point for me. I've poked around craigslist for in home daycare. There always seems to be an opening or two available. Unfortunately we have to shop on price.

ETA: I live in CT. I don't know if this makes a difference.

It seemed like this applied primarily to daycare centers but even quality/reputable in-home daycare. I would be needing something for a 3-month old in a major city. 

I think it all depends on where you live and where you work. If we started looking when we first started TTC we would have probably focused on a place near where my husband works but he was offered a new job over an hour away from there. So now, we will probably find something closer to home or something closer to my work. I would LOVE to have a top of the line daycare with all the bells and whistles but it's just not in the budget. If I could afford that I could probably also afford to stay home full time as well. I say wait until your pregnant to start searching. 

A friend of mine when through the entire process and financial stress of getting her daughter into the best daycare around. Her daughter HATED it. Would literally scream all the way there. She pulled her out and found a smaller, less notable facility that was also a little cheaper. Her daughter loved it there. Moral of the story: Just because you like it doesn't mean your kid will. 

[singingsea]

Before DS was born I was looking around to get estimates. To figure out what our budget would look like after baby. I never applied for a spot anywhere. I've heard of long waiting lists for certain day cares. The plan was for my mom (who doesn't work) to watch DS while I got him on a list. Ended up not needing her because I found a lady who does in home care.

[shadesofgold]

Apr 21, 2015 15:15:37 GMT -5 teraiin said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:14:47 GMT -5 shadesofgold said:

Most places required you to tour the facility before they'd give you any information about tuition or space availability. Then you submit an application and fee. We never got that far, so I don't know if they'd require a deposit, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I mean I've heard of women who are pregnant putting in a deposit. But for someone just TTC... that sounds so strange to me. I guess it's just not the norm for my area.

I know! I mean, how do you even fill out the application? When they ask what month you'd need care to begin, do you just give an optimistic guess with a big winky face?

[SheilaTheTank]

I honestly side eye anyone who would put their name on a waiting list when they aren't even pregnant. They are taking spots away from parents who really need the spot. This is as bad as someone making an appointment with an RE after only 4 months of TTC, with no history of issues.

[wirt2cute]

I used to work at this awesome childcare center and we would have women come in at 5 weeks pregnant and pay to get on the waiting list. If there baby was due after our new school year started in August they would continue to pay for that spot until the baby was old enough to attend. When I worked there in 2007 the rate was $175.00 per week but I just looked them up and the infant rooms cost $230.00 per week. But we never had anyone at that time get on the wait list if they were not pregnant.

[ceejay]

I've started looking around at daycare options while TTC, but just looking to get ideas, not putting our names on any lists. DH and I are also in the process of becoming licensed to be foster parents, so we also need to be looking at (part time) daycare options for foster kids in advance because we could get placements with very little advanced notice once we're licensed.

I know that the really nice daycare at my employer's campus has a long waitlist but definitely not 18 months long! I know that most people get on the waitlist there once they are 3-4 months pregnant and almost always a spot is available by the time that they need it. I've never heard of people getting on daycare waitlists before actually getting pregnant in my area.

[Lollipop]

It's almost impossible to find childcare for an infant here, regardless of when you want to apply. Maternity leave is up to a year, therefore they assume that no one needs daycare before age 1. It's ridiculous.

[zombiesquad]

We started looking after we found out we were pregnant with DS. We got on a few waiting lists, but found care in the meantime. I'd kind of feel like I was putting the cart before the horse reserving childcare before pregnancy. Plus, some places will want you to go ahead and pay weekly to hold a spot that could be given to someone else. Who knows how long you'd be paying? However, it never hurts to get some ideas on what's out there and what costs would be. We totally had sticker shock when we started looking.

[brettanomyces]

It's one thing to get a general idea of costs in your area, so you can plan/budget, but applying before being pregnant? Crazy.

ALTHOUGH. At this point, 18 months later, I would have a spot in an in-demand daycare, and since I'm still not pregnant I could sell the spot and put that money towards IVF. Maybe not so crazy?

[SheilaTheTank]

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:05 GMT -5 brettanomyces said:

It's one thing to get a general idea of costs in your area, so you can plan/budget, but applying before being pregnant? Crazy.

ALTHOUGH. At this point, 18 months later, I would have a spot in an in-demand daycare, and since I'm still not pregnant I could sell the spot and put that money towards IVF. Maybe not so crazy?

I have a problem with this. It just sounds very manipulative and shitty. 

[mlgnumbers]

Our area is highly competitive. Waiting lists are often 12+ mos. long. I've heard of people getting on wait lists before conception, but it's a huge gamble, because if your spot comes up before you're ready to use it, then you get bumped back to the very end of the wait list. Most people in our area get on the wait list for their #1 choice as soon as they get pregnant, then arrange for a nanny for the few months between when they have the baby and when their spot opens up.

[brettanomyces]

Apr 21, 2015 15:46:10 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:05 GMT -5 brettanomyces said:

It's one thing to get a general idea of costs in your area, so you can plan/budget, but applying before being pregnant? Crazy.

ALTHOUGH. At this point, 18 months later, I would have a spot in an in-demand daycare, and since I'm still not pregnant I could sell the spot and put that money towards IVF. Maybe not so crazy?

I have a problem with this. It just sounds very manipulative and shitty. 

You don't think I was being serious do you?

[SheilaTheTank]

Apr 21, 2015 15:48:16 GMT -5 mlgnumbers said:

Our area is highly competitive. Waiting lists are often 12+ mos. long. I've heard of people getting on wait lists before conception, but it's a huge gamble, because if your spot comes up before you're ready to use it, then you get bumped back to the very end of the wait list. Most people in our area get on the wait list for their #1 choice as soon as they get pregnant, then arrange for a nanny for the few months between when they have the baby and when their spot opens up.

What state/area do you live in?

[shadesofgold]

Apr 21, 2015 15:46:10 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:30:05 GMT -5 brettanomyces said:

It's one thing to get a general idea of costs in your area, so you can plan/budget, but applying before being pregnant? Crazy.

ALTHOUGH. At this point, 18 months later, I would have a spot in an in-demand daycare, and since I'm still not pregnant I could sell the spot and put that money towards IVF. Maybe not so crazy?

I have a problem with this. It just sounds very manipulative and shitty. 

I read this as sarcasm... I don't think anyone would seriously post that here and expect not to be run out of town. 

[mlgnumbers]

Apr 21, 2015 15:49:56 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:48:16 GMT -5 mlgnumbers said:

Our area is highly competitive. Waiting lists are often 12+ mos. long. I've heard of people getting on wait lists before conception, but it's a huge gamble, because if your spot comes up before you're ready to use it, then you get bumped back to the very end of the wait list. Most people in our area get on the wait list for their #1 choice as soon as they get pregnant, then arrange for a nanny for the few months between when they have the baby and when their spot opens up.

What state/area do you live in?

Boston

[SheilaTheTank]

Apr 21, 2015 15:49:39 GMT -5 brettanomyces said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:46:10 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

I have a problem with this. It just sounds very manipulative and shitty. 

You don't think I was being serious do you?

Sorry. It's been a really long day. My sarcasm meter is off and I need the purple font as a guide. lol. 

I'm so glad you wouldn't really do that. 

[SheilaTheTank]

Apr 21, 2015 15:51:00 GMT -5 mlgnumbers said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:49:56 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

What state/area do you live in?

Boston

Yeah, that would do it. 

[lemoncupcake]

I've heard of it for other cities, but my city isn't that crazy when it comes to dc. I think there are probably a few very high-end places with wait lists over 9 months, but your normal run-of-the-mill daycare center doesn't require you to get on a list before you're even pregnant.

[mlgnumbers]

Apr 21, 2015 15:51:58 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

Apr 21, 2015 15:51:00 GMT -5 mlgnumbers said:

Boston

Yeah, that would do it. 

*Everything* here comes at a premium. 

We just got rid of our car and decided to be car-less for the spring/summer. (Maybe permanently, but we'll see how it goes.) I'm still in the research stages, but it looks like we'll be able to rent out our parking space for $300+/mo. 

[valie]

I would recommend that you start shopping around if you lived in my area.

I'm in a competitive area and DS was on the wait list for 15 months - and I was considered a higher priority applicant. Not cool.

This hypothetical kid is going to be on a wait list (along with DS) as soon as I turn a pee stick.

[peaseblossom55]

I don't think there are waiting lists in my area. I did call a few day cares before we began trying so we could prepare our budget for it down the line just to get some pricing. We are still between day care and a nanny when it happens some day.