"I don't know"

[aimeefarrahfowler]

So, my kid has perfectly normal verbal skills, but I swear lately it is like I'm talking to a brick wall half the time. Our conversation driving home from ILs will go like this:

-what did you do today?
-I don't know!
-did you play ?
-yeah!
-what did you play with?
-I don't know.
-did you eat something?
-yeah!
-what did you eat?
-I don't know.
-did you watch tv
-yeah!
-what did you watch?
- I don't know

And so on and so on. It is so frustrating!

He's also not listening to me at all lately. Like doesn't even acknowledge me if he doesn't like what I'm telling him to do. Just DGAF. Last night I gave him a timeout because he ran into the kitchen after I told him not to (H had the oven open). When I got him out of timeout this was the conversation:

-why did you go to timeout?
-I don't know
-because you didn't listen?
-yeah!
-when I am talking to you, you need to use your ears and listen to me, okay? Do you understand?
-do you understand?
-no, I'm asking you if you understand.
-do you understand?
-what did I just say?
- what did I say?

It's like the kid is just fucking with me 24/7.

Is this pretty normal behavior? I feel like it is, but then sometimes I get worried that he really doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him.

[barefoot84]

Tumaini seems to only know two sentences lately: "I don't know" and "I don't remember ". Totally normal, I hope.

[bliz1712]

it is so frustrating. On top of that we get "I can't"

Can you take your shoes off? I can't
Can you eat 2 bites? I can't
Can you come here? I can't
UGHHHHHH!!!!

ETA: I think it's completely normal behavior.  And your last conversation made me chuckle.

[laurski81]

This is Henry. He has excellent verbal skills and is great with his words...when he wants to tell us something. Every other time it is exactly how you describe above. And yes, Henry loves to fuck with us all the time. I'm hoping its normal.

[junkytrunk]

Those basically sound like our conversations too. I'm not sure if he just doesn't know what a question is, or if he is just effing with me. I also feel like I am repeating myself 5 times over with still no reaction.

I know I repeat myself a lot because he has picked up this phrase that I didn't even realize I was saying: "I said." So my end usually goes like this:

"get down from there. get down from there. get down from there, I said"

And he has started adding "I said" to everything.

They are definitely pushing limits right now.

[summergirl1211]

Riley has gotten REALLY bad with not listening lately. She doesn't say "I don't know" much, but she said "no, I not xxx" whenever we ask her to do something. We've resorted to giving her an option of listening and doing what we ask, or having a time out. Suffice it to say she's been in TO a lot lately. She doesn't seem to mind the time out (she just sits on her bed and whines) so we're going to start taking her blanket (her fave thing in the WHOLE WORLD) away for 5 minutes every time she needs to sit in her room.

Anyway, I think it's totally normal. Super frustrating, but normal.

[jennmm]

My kid says "no" to almost everything I ask her and never tells me about her day. She can, however, request a cupcake as clear as day. They're screwing with us.

[paddyb]

as others have said, it better be normal, because Henry does that all the time. or he will say "nothing" as in I ask "what did you do today?" he responds "nothing." Then if I ask him something specific he'll be like, oh yeah.

[cbear]

Totally normal and I get this with Elise! I do find if I kneel down to her and tell her listen with her ears and look at me with her eyes and hold her hands, I can get her full attention most of the time.

[lizwinderson]

Sure hope it is normal because I hear it all day long!

Anderson, are you standing on the couch? Are you supposed to be standing on it?
Ugh, I don't know...

Yes you know. Don't say you don't know!!

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Okay, I am glad I am not alone here. These kids, I swear...

[cookiesandwine]

At least he responds...? I usually ask questions and am met with silence. She passed her hearing test at the preK screening (and the lady even said how well she followed directions since kids at this age are usually just so-so about understanding and doing what they're asked to do for the test) so I know she's most definitely just fucking with me. It's like talking to a wall.

[roo1582]

May 1, 2015 13:01:04 GMT -5 cookiesandwine said:

At least he responds...? I usually ask questions and am met with silence. She passed her hearing test at the preK screening (and the lady even said how well she followed directions since kids at this age are usually just so-so about understanding and doing what they're asked to do for the test) so I know she's most definitely just fucking with me. It's like talking to a wall.

Yep, this is us too.

[trixi282]

Ha, yeah the first conversation you wrote you could basically substitute me and J and it would be nearly identical....

The other thing I get recently is:
"J, why did you do XYZ?"
"Because I did XYZ."

Um, I know... but WHY did you do it?! Makes me want to pull my hair out. However she of course loves to ask why and is never satisfied with a response I give her... damn kids. I get the ignoring thing too, like cookiesandwine. Not sure if that's better or worse.

[Riverdong11]

Oh my gosh, trixi282 Yes with the why question!

Liam, tell mommy why you did that.
Why you did that.

I'm not asking you to repeat me, I want an answer!

[huskiefanuw]

It sounds like a normal day at our house. It's so frustrating, and I can't wait for this stage to be done with.

[britbratjf]

My kid just says I no want to talk to you.

[starfishy]

My kid Fs with me all day. Tells me he doesn't know, doesn't listen to anything except "do you want a treat?" And is really testing limits. It's totally normal.

[MissMusic]

Sounds normal to me. Instead of "I don't know" she says "something/anything".

-What do you want for lunch? Something.
-What game do you want to play? Anything.


I also get "WHY!?" in the mix. Argh, I'm starting to hate that word!

Toddlers are assholes.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

So my kid, who cannot answer the question "what did you do today?" told me at dinner "it's not a cheese sandwich, it's a quesadilla!"

"Quesadilla" is in your vocabulary, but you can't give me a better answer to anything than "I don't know"? Yeah, right. Little turd.

[britbratjf]

Oh or if I give choices (would you like chicken nuggets or PB&J?) she wants both then gets upset when I pick & wants the other choice. Then effing pick kid!!

[trixi282]

May 1, 2015 21:09:21 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

So my kid, who cannot answer the question "what did you do today?" told me at dinner "it's not a cheese sandwich, it's a quesadilla!"

"Quesadilla" is in your vocabulary, but you can't give me a better answer to anything than "I don't know"? Yeah, right. Little turd.

So glad I'm not the only one that calls me kid a turd.  I said that in front of my mom once and she was like "don't call her that!"  I looked at her and said "Why not?  She is one right now!"

Not gonna sugar coat it, kid will learn to have some thick skin and not be a pansy.... although I should probably watch the "name calling"

[junkytrunk]

May 1, 2015 21:56:42 GMT -5 trixi282 said:

May 1, 2015 21:09:21 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

So my kid, who cannot answer the question "what did you do today?" told me at dinner "it's not a cheese sandwich, it's a quesadilla!"

"Quesadilla" is in your vocabulary, but you can't give me a better answer to anything than "I don't know"? Yeah, right. Little turd.

So glad I'm not the only one that calls me kid a turd.  I said that in front of my mom once and she was like "don't call her that!"  I looked at her and said "Why not?  She is one right now!"

Not gonna sugar coat it, kid will learn to have some thick skin and not be a pansy.... although I should probably watch the "name calling"

Oh ya I say M is a little jerk all the time. Not to his face, but definitely to my H!

[laurski81]

May 1, 2015 21:56:42 GMT -5 trixi282 said:

May 1, 2015 21:09:21 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

So my kid, who cannot answer the question "what did you do today?" told me at dinner "it's not a cheese sandwich, it's a quesadilla!"

"Quesadilla" is in your vocabulary, but you can't give me a better answer to anything than "I don't know"? Yeah, right. Little turd.

So glad I'm not the only one that calls me kid a turd.  I said that in front of my mom once and she was like "don't call her that!"  I looked at her and said "Why not?  She is one right now!"

Not gonna sugar coat it, kid will learn to have some thick skin and not be a pansy.... although I should probably watch the "name calling"

Yeah I call Henry a brat all the time. I mean that's what he is. My Mom was annoyed that I do it and I told her that I was annoyed that he chooses to ignore me and not listen. There are much worse things I could call him that's for sure.

[starfishy]

May 2, 2015 7:25:59 GMT -5 laurski81 said:

May 1, 2015 21:56:42 GMT -5 trixi282 said:

So glad I'm not the only one that calls me kid a turd.  I said that in front of my mom once and she was like "don't call her that!"  I looked at her and said "Why not?  She is one right now!"

Not gonna sugar coat it, kid will learn to have some thick skin and not be a pansy.... although I should probably watch the "name calling"

Yeah I call Henry a brat all the time. I mean that's what he is. My Mom was annoyed that I do it and I told her that I was annoyed that he chooses to ignore me and not listen. There are much worse things I could call him that's for sure.

Yup. The other day he kept running away from me, turning around and laughing. So I said "he's being such an asshole today." My mom was all "don't call that sweet little baby that name!" And I said, "no mom he's being a Dick. He just is. "

[abseptember]

Yep... "I don't know" and "why" are key components in our conversations lately. I've started making her say "why fill in the blank with a real question ?" to curb the why after everything issue.

I tell her she is being a brat when she is or tell her she is not acting a like a nice girl. I don't think there is anything wrong with making sure your kid knows they aren't being good using reasonable terms for their age. My mom and MIL don't like it but I do t care. I'm telling her she is being a brat not saying you are a little biotch or pain in the ass or whatever other term yout want to insert.... big difference.