WWM14D?
Jan 21, 2015 13:13:46 GMT -5
Post by babycaps on Jan 21, 2015 13:13:46 GMT -5
Help me out ladies, sorry for the long post.
DH and I have no contact with DH's mother, or his sisters. Long story short, they are not nice people and are ALWAYS the victim and never ever even THINK that they may be in the wrong. So much so, that even after DH spelled it out to them in detail WHY he cut ties they still don't feel they should apologize for anything. They live 45min away and in the almost 4 years in which we have not seen them they have made a half-ass effort at working things out. I don't know about you, but if my child were 45min away and so much HINTED at not wanting to see me or talk to me anymore, ever, I would be in the car to my child's house immediately to try to talk it out!
Anyway, what we HAVE gotten are texts at odd hours of the day, long drawn out e-mails that place blame on everything and everyone BUT them (not to say that they are to blame for everything) and constant reminders each time with see DH's dad that we could work things out but how shitty they are even to him (they are separated but live in the same house still due to $$).
Yes, I do think my DH could try to talk to at least one of his sisters a bit, but I know in the long run shit would just go back to how it was before. So I don't push it.
ANYway, last weekend we finally got to see my FIL for lunch and FIL brought with him a giant bag of gifts for LO for x-mas. From my SIL and MIL and the two little cousins. Mind you, some gifts that are sports and super hero themed that DH and I aren't big fans of.
FIL was pretty insistent that LO get to help open gifts, so there, in the restaurant we opened all this stuff and clearly DH and I were uncomfortable with the idea and now we don't know what to do with the stuff.
1. let LO keep the stuff and play, for which I would send a thank you note I guess, even though I don't want to send a TY note and get stuck in the middle AND encourage them to keep up the behavior.
2. we can donate to charity and leave it be. Do I let them know that in the future, please do not send gifts?
3. we can return it via FIL but I think that wouldn't go over well either.
DH is starting to have some doubts as to what to do in the future when LO asks abut grandma. He's not sure what he will say. This is a tough situation and aside from being supportive of my husband's decision to stay away from that toxic environment, I'm not sure what to do when I'm sort of in the middle of it. In addition, DH will NOT talk to his mom even if we do decide that one day LO could meet her.
What would you do about the gifts? They are currently still sitting in the trunk of the car!
DH and I have no contact with DH's mother, or his sisters. Long story short, they are not nice people and are ALWAYS the victim and never ever even THINK that they may be in the wrong. So much so, that even after DH spelled it out to them in detail WHY he cut ties they still don't feel they should apologize for anything. They live 45min away and in the almost 4 years in which we have not seen them they have made a half-ass effort at working things out. I don't know about you, but if my child were 45min away and so much HINTED at not wanting to see me or talk to me anymore, ever, I would be in the car to my child's house immediately to try to talk it out!
Anyway, what we HAVE gotten are texts at odd hours of the day, long drawn out e-mails that place blame on everything and everyone BUT them (not to say that they are to blame for everything) and constant reminders each time with see DH's dad that we could work things out but how shitty they are even to him (they are separated but live in the same house still due to $$).
Yes, I do think my DH could try to talk to at least one of his sisters a bit, but I know in the long run shit would just go back to how it was before. So I don't push it.
ANYway, last weekend we finally got to see my FIL for lunch and FIL brought with him a giant bag of gifts for LO for x-mas. From my SIL and MIL and the two little cousins. Mind you, some gifts that are sports and super hero themed that DH and I aren't big fans of.
FIL was pretty insistent that LO get to help open gifts, so there, in the restaurant we opened all this stuff and clearly DH and I were uncomfortable with the idea and now we don't know what to do with the stuff.
1. let LO keep the stuff and play, for which I would send a thank you note I guess, even though I don't want to send a TY note and get stuck in the middle AND encourage them to keep up the behavior.
2. we can donate to charity and leave it be. Do I let them know that in the future, please do not send gifts?
3. we can return it via FIL but I think that wouldn't go over well either.
DH is starting to have some doubts as to what to do in the future when LO asks abut grandma. He's not sure what he will say. This is a tough situation and aside from being supportive of my husband's decision to stay away from that toxic environment, I'm not sure what to do when I'm sort of in the middle of it. In addition, DH will NOT talk to his mom even if we do decide that one day LO could meet her.
What would you do about the gifts? They are currently still sitting in the trunk of the car!