H finally told his mom that I need at least 2 days notice before she requests a visit. Guess who texted me today about Wednesday. Last time, she texted me the night before about a "super brief visit" and stayed 4.5 hours.
Can you at least do something around the house (clean?), run errands, or do something for yourself while she is there? That's what I always do. I say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get this done while I have some extra hands to play with DS."
I have to deep-clean our little home before I let anyone come over. I wish I wasn't Type A like that, but it is what it is (and one reason I told H I need notice before a visit). Getting out would be so great except that my spoiled baby is so hit or miss about whether he'll accept a bottle, even when he's clearly hungry, I would not feel good about leaving him. I think I'm going to pick up a few different types of bottles to see if it's the bottle/nipple he doesn't like or what. Really, she just wants me to sit on the couch and talk (listen) the entire time. I'm going to keep experimenting with bottles to see if I can get to the bottom of his pickiness because you're totally right, that would make me much less reluctant about the long visits.
Can you at least do something around the house (clean?), run errands, or do something for yourself while she is there? That's what I always do. I say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get this done while I have some extra hands to play with DS."
I have to deep-clean our little home before I let anyone come over. I wish I wasn't Type A like that, but it is what it is (and one reason I told H I need notice before a visit). Getting out would be so great except that my spoiled baby is so hit or miss about whether he'll accept a bottle, even when he's clearly hungry, I would not feel good about leaving him. I think I'm going to pick up a few different types of bottles to see if it's the bottle/nipple he doesn't like or what. Really, she just wants me to sit on the couch and talk (listen) the entire time. I'm going to keep experimenting with bottles to see if I can get to the bottom of his pickiness because you're totally right, that would make me much less reluctant about the long visits.
I'd probably at least take advantage by escaping to my bedroom by myself for a bit. "Let me run and put up the laundry really quick while DS is loving his grandma time." She won't know you're just laying on your bed playing on your phone or reading a book or whatever. Sometimes putting up laundry takes half an hour!
H finally told his mom that I need at least 2 days notice before she requests a visit. Guess who texted me today about Wednesday. Last time, she texted me the night before about a "super brief visit" and stayed 4.5 hours.
Can you at least do something around the house (clean?), run errands, or do something for yourself while she is there? That's what I always do. I say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get this done while I have some extra hands to play with DS."
Could you always be "too busy" for a visit when YH isn't home? I'd still make her give notice for any visits. I don't want to live near my ILs, especially my MIL because they're the type of people who would drop by unannounced. MIL is the type who would keep doing it until one of us (me) went ballistic.
I'm ever so glad that my inlaws are in TX and I don't have to deal with them much over the years. I have a crazy @$$ MIL, but I promised DH I wouldn't share her crazy shit on forums, that's a promise reallllllllly hard to keep. She's coming to visit in August, drama ensured.
I'm ever so glad that my inlaws are in TX and I don't have to deal with them much over the years. I have a crazy @$$ MIL, but I promised DH I wouldn't share her crazy shit on forums, that's a promise reallllllllly hard to keep. She's coming to visit in August, drama ensured.
Now I want to hear about the crazy! But don't want you to break your promise to your hubs.
I'm ever so glad that my inlaws are in TX and I don't have to deal with them much over the years. I have a crazy @$$ MIL, but I promised DH I wouldn't share her crazy shit on forums, that's a promise reallllllllly hard to keep. She's coming to visit in August, drama ensured.
Now I want to hear about the crazy! But don't want you to break your promise to your hubs.
No, I still want to hear the crazy. We won't tell him!
Can you at least do something around the house (clean?), run errands, or do something for yourself while she is there? That's what I always do. I say, "I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get this done while I have some extra hands to play with DS."
Could you always be "too busy" for a visit when YH isn't home? I'd still make her give notice for any visits. I don't want to live near my ILs, especially my MIL because they're the type of people who would drop by unannounced. MIL is the type who would keep doing it until one of us (me) went ballistic.
Edited because I got paranoid about posting exact text convo.
"Too busy" wouldn't fly. She'd talk to H and he'd take her side, I'm sure. In the past, he's said we can't say no unless their requests are unreasonable. Whatever the hell that means. I completely disagree. I'm a parent and I can say no whenever I want to whomever I want. I think he and I will be re-visiting that discussion in the near future...
Oh man,I don't even know which one to begin with if I were to share. I was about to build a website just to share her crazies. DH totally failed to find humour in that.
Without specific stories...
She is not unkind, I think she genuinely believes in all the BS she says. She is extremely attention seeking, self righteous and narcissistic. She does not have a filter and doesn't understand what's socially acceptable and what's not. The deal with DH is that if I don't share her crazy stories, I'm allowed to prevent her ever to spend 1 on 1 time with LO and he would make an effort to support that. This is huge for me, as I really believe she is a negative influence on kids.
My biggest beef with her is with how she handles "no". When told something is not socially or otherwise acceptable to say or do, she would go around in a sing-song tone "I don't care, I don't care" like a 3 years old would.
Her 2nd biggest flaw is how she likes to brag. No matter how tragic or serious the situation is, she would find a way to make it all about herself and self praise. She likes to tell everyone how she's the smartest person in the room, or the planet for that matter.
The 3rd strike against her is how opinionated she is and she has no tact. She often makes generalization about a whole class of people, race, gender, region. In the past, she's made some racist comments about a certain ethnic/regional group in my presence, which I happen to share a quarter of my blood of. I warned her sternly to stop talking as it was upsetting me and was disrespectful to my family. She saw nothing wrong with continuing to talk shit and tried to defense her position that her generalization was correct. Just who does that?
Post by jensoprano82 on Jun 10, 2015 18:51:39 GMT -5
Love tit for support.... Giant yikes! I'll never understand people who get turbo indignant when you ask the to stop something that upsets or offends you. My dad gets like that and it worries me that he'll spread his negative energy around my kid
Could you always be "too busy" for a visit when YH isn't home? I'd still make her give notice for any visits. I don't want to live near my ILs, especially my MIL because they're the type of people who would drop by unannounced. MIL is the type who would keep doing it until one of us (me) went ballistic.
Edited because I got paranoid about posting exact text convo.
"Too busy" wouldn't fly. She'd talk to H and he'd take her side, I'm sure. In the past, he's said we can't say no unless their requests are unreasonable. Whatever the hell that means. I completely disagree. I'm a parent and I can say no whenever I want to whomever I want. I think he and I will be re-visiting that discussion in the near future...
He really should back you up. I think you should be able to say no whenever., but if he wants his mom to visit then he can be there when she visits. It shouldn't matter what else you'd rather do when she wants to visit without him, you should be able to say no and she can suck it up.
I know I'm going to be in the situation of trying to get MH to back me up when we visit his family for his brother's wedding. I'm not letting him leave us alone with any of his parents. I don't leave him alone with my family because he doesn't want to be alone with them. He can extend me the same courtesy. And of course backing me up on them doing things with LO I don't like.
Post by seamonster on Jun 10, 2015 21:41:26 GMT -5
PikoPiko, I'm glad you have that deal. I hope YH continues to support you.
I feel like a lot of people have trouble telling their parents no when they had no trouble saying no as a teenager when their parents could actually do something. They can't ground you and take away the car.
Post by hollydfromtn on Jun 19, 2015 2:00:49 GMT -5
I'm up on fever watch with DS. He had his shots today. When he woke up to eat at 2:30, like he always does, his forehead felt like it was on fire. He had a temp of 101*. This is the second time it's gotten that high today. I gave him some Tylenol earlier around 8:15 and it came down but has apparently gone right back up again. Hopefully this second dose of Tylenol will bring it down for good. I'm trying to keep myself up for another hour so I can check it again.
hollydfromtn, poor LO! I hope he feels better soon. Did your pedi tell you when you should contact them? My pedi gave me info that said to call back if fever is higher than 101F. DS also had a fever at 101 after his shots, but didn't last as long, the 2nd dose of Tylenol did the trick for us. Hopefully it'll work the same for your LO too!
hollydfromtn, poor LO! I hope he feels better soon. Did your pedi tell you when you should contact them? My pedi gave me info that said to call back if fever is higher than 101F. DS also had a fever at 101 after his shots, but didn't last as long, the 2nd dose of Tylenol did the trick for us. Hopefully it'll work the same for your LO too!
Thanks. He seems to be better this morning. His temp is back down to 98.4. The pedi said to give Tylenol at 101 and not to call until it reached 103. I'm going to call if it pops back up that high again though.
Not doing that much better here. Screamfest at 1am. DH made a n00b mistake, penis down, for Fu*k's sake! DS was all wet down his front when he woke for a feed. I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard is tonight with the window open.
DH & I have been trading off who's up with needy baby. So glad it's the weekend. DS started sounded pretty stuffy so I tried the nose Frieda. Think it helped but of course he was wide awake after that; who wouldn't be? So we nursed to help anything stuck in his throat go down, and now he's in his crib. Every time he's fallen asleep and I've laid him down it's been instant bright eyes, so I just put him down drowsy. We've been doing that for some naps. His arms are crazy flaily so I gave him the lovie he plays with in the car. I wonder if I'll be able to take it away once he falls asleep. Surely he's old enough now not to smother himself with it...? Ugh.
DS is never getting over this cold. He's seriously had it since I went back to work and the cough is awful. No idea what to do.
Could it be allergies? I doubt you want to give LO more medicine since I think you've been having GI issues, but maybe something to talk to the pedi about?
DS is never getting over this cold. He's seriously had it since I went back to work and the cough is awful. No idea what to do.
Could it be allergies? I doubt you want to give LO more medicine since I think you've been having GI issues, but maybe something to talk to the pedi about?
It might be allergies. The public health nurse didn't think the GP would do anything else for him but let it run it's course. I've taken him in once already for it and was told not to worry unless he spiked a fever or couldn't breathe. He's a snot monster, but a happy one.
Could it be allergies? I doubt you want to give LO more medicine since I think you've been having GI issues, but maybe something to talk to the pedi about?
It might be allergies. The public health nurse didn't think the GP would do anything else for him but let it run it's course. I've taken him in once already for it and was told not to worry unless he spiked a fever or couldn't breathe. He's a snot monster, but a happy one.
I thought DS has allergies too cos he also coughs here and there and sneezes, rubs eyes right after he woke up from a glorious 3hr nap. Pedi told me babies don't get allergies til they're about 2. His lungs are clear, said most babies get some coughs usually triggered by saliva. I guess he does drool like a faucet....
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