My MIL was a very difficult woman to get a long with when she was alive. She had 6 kids and was very particular with how things were done. She akwats had to correct me when I was prepping dinner. Down to how I was cutting the butter.
Post by estamos_tomamos on Jan 21, 2015 17:18:27 GMT -5
I'd rather complain about my mom. We live 3 hours away and randomly decided to go up for the 3 day weekend to see friends we haven't seen in over a year. I wanted to see my family while we were in town, but my mom and grandma were busy and wanted us to come over at the same time we had already planned to go out with friends.
I told her we couldn't, but kept trying to find another time we could meet up instead. Mom flips out and starts scream crying over the phone about how she's sick of being worked in.
Bad daughter: I hung up. You don't want to be worked in? Problem solved!
I generally adore my MIL and have a lot of respect for what she's been through (FIL is an alcoholic, they're still together), but the woman makes me bonkers when it comes to religion. She's a fairly hardcore Catholic and has the hardest time accepting that DH and I are not at all religious. Any time I'm talking to her about work (I'm a social worker) she always adds in an "oh my, I hope you have a strong relationship with the Lord to deal with what you do!" Like, every. single. time. She means well, but gah!
I'm a bad DIL because at christmas when FIL got drunk and started to tell his tall tales I excused myself for a "nap," (you know, first tri and everything) but instead went and my room and read for two hours.
Ha, this sounds so familiar! We got a thank you card from Christmas that ended with "I hope you guys find a church and rededicate your lives to Christ." Sigh.
hahaha damn, that's direct! (ps I love your ann perkins gif in your siggy! )
Post by puppygurl21 on Jan 21, 2015 17:35:07 GMT -5
My MIL is a piece of work. We've really never gotten along. Most recently, when we announced the gender, we told everyone our top names and asked family to write down which were their top 3. My MIL didn't want to pick any of our names and instead wrote down her own. We were both annoyed by her typical passive-aggressive behavior.
I'm a bad DIL because instead of just saying "ok, thanks for the name suggestions" and ignoring them, I straight up told her I didn't want any suggestions as we had picked our top names.
ashiscute but the time to talk about dirty lemons is not right when I'm adding it to my beverage! That was a the funny part, added to her ability to panic about news stories.
I get that. My FIL is that exact person. He thinks it's always better to make a comment no matter how awkward for others. Like a socially inept public service.
Post by meggos1988 on Jan 21, 2015 17:57:49 GMT -5
My MIL is ok sometimes not so much others times. She has openly said that she should be commended for accepting me even though I am short( MH is a whole foot taller then me). She never really took care of MH when he was in HS, he lived with friends. Unfortunately he always got the short end of the stick.
My bad DIL when she gets her attitude I get stubborn and won't give in to what she asks
My DH is an only child, and his parents got divorced when he was young. I absolutely adore my FIL and his wife, they are like my second set of parents. His mother on the other hand...
I can't say she treats me poorly, but ever since me and my DH started dating when were young, I've always felt an underlying disapproval from her. It has gotten better over the years, but there's just something about her that really irks me. When we moved to the area, we lived with his mother for about 4 months until we could get on our feet. And it was just really weird. She would do everything for him, like he was a child again and he kind of let it happen because that's what he knows. She's extremely nosy, and has to be up in our business all the time... and she's always telling my DH what he should be doing, and still treats him like he's just a little boy.
Since we announced the pregnancy, I made the fatal mistake of inviting her to come with me to my first ultrasound (my DH couldn't make it, and my family lives across the country... so I didn't want to be alone). Now she's constantly up my butt about all my appointments, and it's like she's expecting me to invite her to come along when my DH can't make it. The only other appointment I invited her to was when I had to give my OB a family history. But now she's making all these plans for when the baby arrives, and it's like... driving me crazy. My parents will be flying in to see us once the baby is here, and since my mother will most likely not make the delivery... she's expecting to be in the room with us during labor. I'm just feeling super overwhelmed about it all, and when I talk to my DH he just kind of shakes his head. He hates upsetting his mom and telling her 'No', so I'm afraid I'm going to have to be the bad DIL and tell her that she's overstepping her boundaries.
Ugh, I'm sorry for the rant... LOL I literally have no one to complain to.
Post by lindslew91011 on Jan 21, 2015 18:26:31 GMT -5
I know my situation is not as horrible as others. My MIL is overprotective of my hubby. She is super intense, gets into our business, nosey, and dramatic. While her intentions are always great, she drives me crazy. This is probably because my relationship with my mother has never been good up until I announced I was pregnant. I've really never had a mother/daughter relationship. I was a daddy's girl, so I understand those types of relationships.
Post by melanie1422 on Jan 21, 2015 18:41:31 GMT -5
Gosh, y'all... I kind of feel lucky now!
My SO's mom left when he was very small and his stepmonster is horrible. He has no desire to be anywhere near his parents and hasn't told them about the baby at all. It's kind of strange but I feel guilty sort of enjoying it - I'm very close to my (huge extended) family and holidays are already complicated.
I'd lose my damn mind if someone cut my baby's hair without my express permission! Dear God...what is wrong with some of these people!??
Ok so MIL & FIL are awesome (knock on wood) but my mother.... Good lord. She's such a negative nancy it's ridiculous. She picks fights all the time & refuses to ever admit when she is wrong.
I should go home more often. She probably stirs shit up because she misses her indentured servants.
I have a wonderful MIL and FIL. My biggest complaint is that they live on the complete other side of the states (Washington vs South Carolina) and we never see them. Ever. It's frustrating. It's not that they can't afford it. They go on vacations, they have fancy toys. But always a reason why they can't come visit us. DS has met them once in 5 years and that's with us going to SC for 2 weeks this past year. Just wish they'd make the effort. It's 3 plane tickets vs 2, you know?
My SIL, on the other hand, is a hot mess. I've spent more time bitching about her than anyone. She's insane and I desperately want to adopt her kids. Thank God she lives across the states cuz I couldn't handle her close by. Although I wish we were close enough to have a relationship with those kids.
My MIL is an alcoholic. A bad one. Like, took her younger kids to the fair and came home drunk. We're making the decision to not let her be around this baby until she stops drinking. SO hasn't had this convo with her yet...
Post by lindylogana on Jan 21, 2015 20:02:49 GMT -5
I could go on and on but ain't nobody got time for that. My MIL has done nothing but try to sabotage our relationship. My favorite is when she calls DH and tells him how I've offended her and tells him not to tell me. Ridiculous. The best one was the time she called DH to her house 2 months before our wedding and told him all the reasons why I suck, that I'm lazy (not true), that I wouldn't amount to anything and that he should call off the wedding. The reason: her feelings were hurt because I didn't invite her dress shopping with me. Didn't know I was supposed to because we were not close. So she decided to act like a child and spread rumors about me because she didn't get her way. (Side note: She also did this to one of my BILs and he actually called off his wedding so she won that time).
Because of her constantly whining and complaining about me I have stopped caring altogether what she thinks. I also make sure that there is a set boundary between us that is very obvious. I also won't call her mom, because 1.) If she wanted to be like a "mom" to me she wouldn't of tried to get rid of me so many times 2.) I have a mom and she's wonderful and 3.) I know it upsets her.
I have a pretty strained relationship with the in-laws. My MIL is no longer alive, but when she was it wasn't fun. When I first met her & FIL, neither made any effort to get to know me & all I got to know about them was MIL cared more about her dog than any human & all she did was complain ALL the time. FIL talked about himself (like his prior drinking & gambling issues.) On our wedding day, MIL kept lurking my dressing room & kept trying to act like we were BFF's.
I'm a bad DIL because I gave up trying to have a relationship with either of them.
My MIL and I have grown into a much better relationship over the course of the 10 years I have been with DH. She had a TBI that impacted her social functioning before I met her, and sometimes I'm not sure if her overbearing, irrational expectations are the result of that or if she uses it as an excuse. Actually, she's very lucky her son married someone like me who was willing to put in the effort to have a relationship with her because I would have to assume that most women would have walked away from trying long ago.
MIL is a bad MIL because she likes to insert herself into almost every situation as the matriarch, including times when DH and I should be making decisions for our children or sharing certain special firsts with them. If we say anything or make alternative suggestions, she storms off, stomps, hangs up on us, cries, and sends us on epic guilt trips.
She probably says I'm a bad DIL because none of that shit has an effect on me.
Post by golfanista on Jan 21, 2015 22:16:51 GMT -5
I'm pretty lucky with my MIL. We get along really well, though she does have some nuances that get on my nerves. For one, she's a chain smoker and smokes in her house. That makes me not want to send the baby over to her house at all. She's also a pack rat. I'm a bad DIL bc I get pissed that she's a pack rat bc I know that when she dies, we're gonna get stuck cleaning that shit out of her house. Morbid, huh? I also get pissed bc of the way she treats DH's grandfather. He's almost 100 and has bent over backwards for our entire family over the years, but especially for DH's parents! He is MIL's FIL. He and his wife (who passed in 2007) only had one son (my FIL). His health has gone downhill over the last year and he is now unable to live alone any longer. MIL put him in a nursing home as soon as she had a chance bc she didn't want to take care of him. She's so full of excuses about the entire thing and it just drives all of us insane (her four sons and four DILs) because we all see through it. Plus, I have a sneaky suspicion that when he passes, she's going to try to sell his farm and gamble the money away. MY mother drives me insane, but she's gotten somewhat better over the last few years. She's very selfish and dramatic. She decided she was done parenting when I was 15 (my sister was 11 and my brother was 9), stopped grocery shopping and cooking, among other parenting duties, and began doing community theater. She would go to work, get off work, go straight to theater practice, and if she came home, it was well after midnight. My dad and I raised my sister and brother. When I was 22 and only a few months after my first husband unexpectedly passed away, she took off and moved to the beach, telling me that my brother was now my responsibility. He was 16. So, I had my son, my step daughter, and my brother. My dad was there to help, but at the same time, he was in the pits of alcoholism. She says that she "had to move" to get away from my dad's drinking. Such a cop out, bc they were already separated (for several years) at this point, and he was always perfectly civil with her. But, to her, nothing is ever her fault. She then started dating my now stepdad (who is awesome, btw), and decided to move back to be with him. So, she could come back for a man, but couldn't stick around for her kids. Since then, she's become Miss Perfect to her step kids. Cooking and catering to their every need. I moved halfway across the country three years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Got out of my hometown and away from some bad memories. Plus, no more family drama. I talk to my mom maybe once a month and she gushes about how much she misses us and blah blah blah. I'm working on forgiving her and making peace with it, but it's hard when the offender won't admit their wrongs. Or, when they do, it's riddled with excuses. But, whatevs. I just know that I'm so much happier now and I have a perfect example of how not to be! That turned out way longer than I meant!
Post by laceecaitlyn on Jan 21, 2015 22:33:31 GMT -5
My ILs are pretty great. I lucked out.
My best friend was not so lucky, so I will share my favorite of her crazy MIL stories.
My best friend and her DH had dated for 8 years before they got engaged. When they did get engaged his mother went behind her back and planned all this stuff for this wedding that did not even go with what my best friend had planned (BFF and her DH were paying for it all themselves, her MIL just wanted things her way). Then she told everyone in their family that if my BFF didn't stop calling him "my fiancé" that she was going to lose her mind. Like what was she supposed to call him?? We joked that she would probably prefer "our fiance" because she was one of those creepy obsessed with her own son in a really awkward seemingly inappropriate way types.
I love my mother in law and honestly her only flaw is that she is too nice and puts up with shit she shouldn't. However I could fill up this forum with issues my stepmother has- just thinking about her is raising my bp.
My in laws are good people and we do have a good relationship. My biggest issue (with them both really) is how little they want to help us (especially when we really need it) but yet expect us to drop everything when they want something from us.
A perfect example is that DH and I went away for New Years with his family because his dad wanted so badly to recreate some tradition he had with his kids for his grandkids (who are both 2). We went away for 2 days, literally 2 days before moving 14 hours away.
Then DD and I got stuck at the airport for over 5 hours the day we moved (locally, plus another 3 hours before our connection) and I called MIL to see if she could come pick us up for a while. She was "busy" fixing her sink, hadn't had a shower and was having friends over at 2:30 (I called before 10) so she couldn't help me out. She then called me later in the day and left me a be about how she went grocery shopping 25 minutes from her house (so she could go to Trader Joe's) and got caught in traffic from the Patriots game...
I'm a bad DIL because I really never call her just to talk, more so when I need something. Also because I don't feel the least bit bad we moved so far from them since they weren't very helpful from 30 mins away and yet my mom will drop everything and drive 4 hours in an instant if I need her.
My MIL has fake food allergies, although has never been to a doc or allergist to confirm - her whole life centers around her allergies. I'd consider them more of a form a food restriction/eating disorder. I used to go with the flow, but now I point out that her techniques for eliminating allergens are bs (rubbing down wine glass/silverware with cocktail napkins) and also that many of the foods she eats regularly actually contain things she claims to be allergic to. This subject is probably the #1 thing my husband and I argue about - he wants me to drop it!
Post by fortunecookie2014 on Jan 22, 2015 3:00:12 GMT -5
My MIL is pretty awesome - very nice, thoughtful, and considerate. She has always made me feel welcome in her family. My only complaint is that she can be hyper (almost bouncy), and she'll ask a bunch of silly questions. It gets on my nerves after a while, which can lead to me being short-tempered toward her, which makes me feel guilty.
We've traveled with our in-laws a few times and every couple days I need time apart. The last time, I just hung back for a day saying I didn't feel good - just to have some down time. It was heaven, and I was able to enjoy her company again afterward.
Truly, though, I feel very lucky in the in-law department. Now, my step parents - they are total nutballs.
My MIL has fake food allergies, although has never been to a doc or allergist to confirm - her whole life centers around her allergies. I'd consider them more of a form a food restriction/eating disorder. I used to go with the flow, but now I point out that her techniques for eliminating allergens are bs (rubbing down wine glass/silverware with cocktail napkins) and also that many of the foods she eats regularly actually contain things she claims to be allergic to. This subject is probably the #1 thing my husband and I argue about - he wants me to drop it!
ahhhhh. my MIL did this too. Stressed me the fuck out!!! I couldnt take her seriously because there was no LOGIC. and my husband also got annoyed and wanted me to leave it be...
I would love love love to bitch about my MIL, but our relationship is in a better place recently and I don't want to reopen old wounds. But I feel you girls! You're all superstars for putting up with that shit!
I love my MIL she really is awesome!!! I do t have anything bad to say about her. We get along great! But my DH step mom, she's a different story she is very nice but I've had a few bad brushes with her. She didn't come to my bridal shower ( because she doesn't like to be around people she doesn't know) so I'm curious to see if she will come to my babyshower.
I think im a good DIL I just don't think I try as hard with my DH step mom. I think is a sense of failure each time. So o just kind of gave up.
TTC: 2/14 DX: w/PCOS:6/14 1st round of letrozole: 9/14- bust 2nd round of letrozole: 10/14- thought it was a bust BFP: 11/7/14 Discovered baby B (twins) 12/1/14
Post by wineandwalter on Jan 22, 2015 7:05:46 GMT -5
MIL is naive about a lot of things. Sweet woman, just not experienced. She's known about this pregnancy for two months has never said a word about it to me. Not one. It's weird.
I'm a bad DIL because even though she lives very close I don't seek her out or stop over without DH. It just always feels too awkward.
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