@ismellbooks, summerdonna, starbuck27 - Thanks. I'm still too much in shock to really know what to do.
I let her call me last night to apologize, which I listened to but didn't forgive her and made sure she knew that. She was also so drunk Saturday that she doesn't remember everything that happened so I made sure to remind her she got physical. No way in hell was she going to get to continue on with life not knowing how bad it actually got.
At this point it would be easier if I could be ok with losing my relationship with my brother - at least then I could react like she really deserves.
Are you ever going to forgive her? (I'm just curious)
The shots aren't as bad as it sounds, but certainly isn't fun either. I have always had sensitive ears so I have to wear nice earrings. For my wedding , my 14 year old niece made me a set and a matching necklace. I didn't wear it for the wedding, but I did for the rehearsal dinner. I shouldn't have! It caused a keloid (bumpy scar tissue) on the back of my ear. I put my good ones back in and didn't know that there was a problem. About 3 months later, after it kept getting bigger, my doctor thought that it was a cyst. No such luck. They are using the shots to shrink it, because if they just cut it out, it could cause more trauma and it could grow back bigger.
That is a terrible example of good intentions turning toxic! I have sensitive ears, too. I can't imagine that ordeal!
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
10. I haven't bought new clothes for a year because I was going to get pregnant, any day, and also lose ten pounds. Maybe it is time to buy new clothes.
@ismellbooks, summerdonna, starbuck27 - Thanks. I'm still too much in shock to really know what to do.
I let her call me last night to apologize, which I listened to but didn't forgive her and made sure she knew that. She was also so drunk Saturday that she doesn't remember everything that happened so I made sure to remind her she got physical. No way in hell was she going to get to continue on with life not knowing how bad it actually got.
At this point it would be easier if I could be ok with losing my relationship with my brother - at least then I could react like she really deserves.
Are you ever going to forgive her? (I'm just curious)
Right now, I don't know. Because this is the first time something like this has happened, I guess there could be a chance, but I just don't know right now. I feel like I might have to at some point to get back to any sort of normal family relationship down the road.
What I do know is that if I'm ever around and she's getting drunk, I'll leave. I shouldn't have to be the one to leave, but I will.
7. My mom's dementia is getting worse and no one wants to talk about what happens next so that's stressing me out.
I'm so sorry. That sounds rough. Do you have siblings that can help you? Do you feel like you have resources and information you need to take the next steps? Hugs.
Are you ever going to forgive her? (I'm just curious)
Right now, I don't know. Because this is the first time something like this has happened, I guess there could be a chance, but I just don't know right now. I feel like I might have to at some point to get back to any sort of normal family relationship down the road.
What I do know is that if I'm ever around and she's getting drunk, I'll leave. I shouldn't have to be the one to leave, but I will.
Yeah - I was curious if this was a pattern of behavior or an isolated incident.
Hopefully she lays off the booze and eventually you can repair relationships.
Are you ever going to forgive her? (I'm just curious)
Right now, I don't know. Because this is the first time something like this has happened, I guess there could be a chance, but I just don't know right now. I feel like I might have to at some point to get back to any sort of normal family relationship down the road.
What I do know is that if I'm ever around and she's getting drunk, I'll leave. I shouldn't have to be the one to leave, but I will.
OMG lady. I'm so furious for you. I don't want to pretend we all don't have nights we got drunk and did something regrettable, but that is so extreme. What a mess. I have been in your position (it was verbal but never got physical because people intervened)... My advice? When people show you their true colors, pay attention.
Right now, I don't know. Because this is the first time something like this has happened, I guess there could be a chance, but I just don't know right now. I feel like I might have to at some point to get back to any sort of normal family relationship down the road.
What I do know is that if I'm ever around and she's getting drunk, I'll leave. I shouldn't have to be the one to leave, but I will.
Yeah - I was curious if this was a pattern of behavior or an isolated incident.
Hopefully she lays off the booze and eventually you can repair relationships.
She does have a volatile personality, but generally she'll get mad at someone for no good reason, post some passive aggressive FB status, and ignore them for a bit. This is the first time for something like this (that I'm aware of anyway).
We believe she really does have some mental health troubles she needs help for, but she doesn't think there's anything wrong beside the fact that she drank too much so she's not even considering looking to get help.
I've decided my contribution to 10 Things Tuesday is going to be random entertainment.
1. Shout out to Rama - Build your own X-Wing Fighter from office supplies: 2. This kid is cold as ice - 3. This dog having too much fun: 4. A glass of wine for all those having a bad day 5. This smart little dude: 6. A Harry Potter fun fact: 7. This inspiring story: Madeline Stuart 8. If dogs could text message: Texts From Dog 9. Something for the grammar police: 10. Nerd jewelry:
Right now, I don't know. Because this is the first time something like this has happened, I guess there could be a chance, but I just don't know right now. I feel like I might have to at some point to get back to any sort of normal family relationship down the road.
What I do know is that if I'm ever around and she's getting drunk, I'll leave. I shouldn't have to be the one to leave, but I will.
OMG lady. I'm so furious for you. I don't want to pretend we all don't have nights we got drunk and did something regrettable, but that is so extreme. What a mess. I have been in your position (it was verbal but never got physical because people intervened)... My advice? When people show you their true colors, pay attention.
Thanks. I definitely am.
Thankfully her other bridesmaids were right there and pulled her away from me before she had the chance to do more to me than she did.
Whoa, 10 is a lot. But... work can wait. 1. The only thing getting me through this week, is that I only work 2 days next week. 2. Thanks to living in the PNW, it looks like our Saturday plans are already rained out. 3. But! My secondary plans include a mani/pedi, Pitch Perfect (FINALLY), and probably Greek food. 4. I am a cleaning fiend. It's new construction, so we have our 1 year walk through on Thursday. I don't want to miss anything they could potentially fix. 5. In addition to the 1 year in the house, it is also the 2 year anniversary of our first date. It is absurd how quickly we moved. I just makes me laugh though. 6. I've been beyond tired this past weekend. Like naps on Saturday and Sunday. Is this what being an adult is? Tired all the time? 7. I told H that I was annotating sex in FF. So, now he asks every time as soon as we are done if I'm going to mark it down. I think he is proud? 8. My job seriously makes me lack empathy for anyone who is sick. I spend all day seeing people who genuinely need benefits and who are just playing the system. 9. I'm kinda hoping for AF to show up on schedule. Just a few weeks off BC, so her appearance would help calm me that I might have somewhat "normal" cycles. 10. H accepted a new job, and his current boss just got all weird and sketchy. We had a long discussion about how he should handle the harassment and formulated a plan. Then, he turns around and calls his mom! Um, hello, your wife is right here.
1) I think we might have bed bugs. I felt a pinch in my arm and then a tickle so I looked, and it was crawling away. I looked up a pic of bed bugs, and it looked similar
No! No no no! Burn everything immediately. Bed begs are no joke.
Sorry my list is mostly debbie downer shit - also, XP from The Bench's TTT thread.
1. I'm fucking exhausted. 2. My FSIL's bachelorette party was this past Saturday and it went from fun to disaster in a split second when the bride suddenly freaked out over nothing. 3. It was the worst life of my entire life. I won't go into all the details, but it was really really bad. 4. I was awake from 8:30am Saturday to 11:00pm Sunday. Hence #1. 5. I'm pretty upset that my brother, who was worried about me the night this all went down, seems to not care now that she physically grabbed me and threw me to the ground just because the other bridesmaids and I wouldn't let her out of the hotel room (we were afraid she'd hurt herself or someone else). 6. My family can't figure out what to do at this point because after all this the wedding is still on. 7. My brother and FSIL seem to think "I'm sorry" should make this all go away. 8. Thank goodness for coffee. If my life was Sesame Street, every day this week would be sponsored by the number "Venti". As in the giant 20oz coffees I'll be downing all week. 9. On a positive note, I'm going to the Red Sox game tonight. 10. Here's hoping it stops raining before game time.
Yuck. I'm sorry, that is crazy. Why do weddings cause so much drama?!
Post by SheilaTheTank on May 19, 2015 10:04:35 GMT -5
1. Can we actually chat in this thread or is it just the ten things? 2. Our awesome new printer at work is having problems. Not happy 3. Still having issues getting my cat to eat. She'll eat a teaspoon walk away and then come back and cry for more food but she won't eat what's already there. 4. My boss is in a shitty mood. 5-10. I want to punch so many people right now. Including LadyNymeria's FSIL
ETA: I don't want to punch LadyNymeria. I want to punch that dumb pitch who had the audacity to put her hands on her.
7. My mom's dementia is getting worse and no one wants to talk about what happens next so that's stressing me out.
I'm so sorry. That sounds rough. Do you have siblings that can help you? Do you feel like you have resources and information you need to take the next steps? Hugs.
Yes, my brother and father still live with her. The real issue right now is that it's becoming increasingly difficult for them to give her the in-home care she needs (nutritionally, etc) and maintain a safe environment for her, but both are scared to talk to her about possibly moving her to a facility. She's at a very awkward (for us) stage where she isn't very coherent most of the time but she refuses to leave the house. So it would need to be a forced move. She also refuses a nurse or an aide.
Next week we have a lawyer coming to the house. She always swore she gave my brother power of attorney, but as it turns out shortly after she got her initial dementia diagnosis the lawyer says she called and pulled the power of attorney. So now it's turning into a huge issue of who has the right to make decisions.
In many ways I'm fortunate because I'm not living home and don't have to deal with the day-to-day stuff, but it's very taxing on my father.
OMG lady. I'm so furious for you. I don't want to pretend we all don't have nights we got drunk and did something regrettable, but that is so extreme. What a mess. I have been in your position (it was verbal but never got physical because people intervened)... My advice? When people show you their true colors, pay attention.
Thanks. I definitely am.
Thankfully her other bridesmaids were right there and pulled her away from me before she had the chance to do more to me than she did.
I can't agree w/ shadesofgold, more. While I hope more than anything you are able to somewhat mend your relationship. H and his brother have always had a volitile relationship. After we got married we went out on a party bus (we were in Vegas), and his brother threw a lit cigarette at him while screaming. He then said he was going to take down one of my girl friends and tried to puch my brother. This was after he was kicked out of a club the night before at the bachelor party. He still hasn't apologized and he and his wife deleted us off FB. It's been hard on his parents, but they refuse to see his MH/drinking problems.
I'm so sorry. That sounds rough. Do you have siblings that can help you? Do you feel like you have resources and information you need to take the next steps? Hugs.
Yes, my brother and father still live with her. The real issue right now is that it's becoming increasingly difficult for them to give her the in-home care she needs (nutritionally, etc) and maintain a safe environment for her, but both are scared to talk to her about possibly moving her to a facility. She's at a very awkward (for us) stage where she isn't very coherent most of the time but she refuses to leave the house. So it would need to be a forced move. She also refuses a nurse or an aide.
Next week we have a lawyer coming to the house. She always swore she gave my brother power of attorney, but as it turns out shortly after she got her initial dementia diagnosis the lawyer says she called and pulled the power of attorney. So now it's turning into a huge issue of who has the right to make decisions.
In many ways I'm fortunate because I'm not living home and don't have to deal with the day-to-day stuff, but it's very taxing on my father.
I'm sorry teraiin. We are going through something similar with my grandmother and it's a horrible situation so I can't imagine having it be my parent. She's past the point where she basically needs full-time care but my grandfather feels guilty about putting her somewhere so my mom and her sisters are each taking nights where they sleep at their condo to help out.
11. We procrastinated straightening up the house pre-cleaning service. They were supposed to come between 1:30 and 3:00. They showed up at 10 am. I had taken off my shirt to investigate the rip and had to sprint to the bedroom to find clothes before answering the door. Then we spent 40 minutes tidying up / doing dishes while they cleaned. Our house has never gone from disaster to respectable that fast.
12. H had $20 for a tip plus a $10 roll of quarters. They must think we are so weird.
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