I normally don't ask him for much help because he works and I stay at home, but he's been off for a week. He could at least take the five minutes to put her on the damn toilet!
Just because one parent SAH doesn't mean the other parent doesn't have to parent.
I'm a SAHM. That means DH doesn't have to miss work when DS is sick or when there's a doctor's or therapist appointment. It means he usually has a home cooked meal when he comes home and his laundry is done. It means he doesn't have to worry about boring errands and DS's activities.
It does not mean he gets to walk in the door and sit on his ass until bed time. It does not mean he has no household responsibilities. It does not mean he doesn't have to take care of DS.
You should never feel guilty asking your SO for help just because you don't bring home a paycheck. And that paycheck doesn't mean he gets to bitch at you for not doing everything perfectly all the time.
I normally don't ask him for much help because he works and I stay at home, but he's been off for a week. He could at least take the five minutes to put her on the damn toilet!
Just because one parent SAH doesn't mean the other parent doesn't have to parent.
I'm a SAHM. That means DH doesn't have to miss work when DS is sick or when there's a doctor's or therapist appointment. It means he usually has a home cooked meal when he comes home and his laundry is done. It means he doesn't have to worry about boring errands and DS's activities.
It does not mean he gets to walk in the door and sit on his ass until bed time. It does not mean he has no household responsibilities. It does not mean he doesn't have to take care of DS.
You should never feel guilty asking your SO for help just because you don't bring home a paycheck. And that paycheck doesn't mean he gets to bitch at you for not doing everything perfectly all the time.
Thank you. I agree with this 100 percent! His sister and brother in law have told him this so many times. SIL has been a SAHM for eleven years with two children, and BIL is in the military (14 or 15 years). He works from 430 am until whenever they send him home (he is some type of trainer), but the first thing he does when he gets home every day is play with the kids for an hour so SIL can have time for herself. Then he helps with cleaning, cooking, and gets their son (3 years old) to bed. Then they have time together, and he has time to himself for about an hour before he goes to bed. He even posted a rant on FB about SO and how what he does isn't ok (didn't post his name, so SO didn't get that it was about him.) I've never told them about how he acts with me. They've just seen it when they've come to visit, and have both tried to help me get through to him.
So the same guy I was just talking shit about who wanted to draw my blood before I drank the orange shit, had to draw my blood twice. He took two little things of blood, I got up, he was like ohhhh waaaait, had to take my top back off, and get re-stuck! He forgot some. Da-faq you n00b.
@sastahlman - I'm so sorry you're going through all of this
Thank you. I'm just trying to stay positive, and take it one day at a time, because I know there are so many people in this world who have it much worse than I do. I'll just keep counting my blessings, and praying for strength.
@sastahlman.. You are a Saint. I would of straight up killed this guy by now! I can't even imagine how you feel emotionally and then top that w/ health problems.. I just want to give you a big hug! Gotta find your inner strength and keep charging forward w/ your chin up. As far as DH goes.. I'll keep my FX crossed for a miracle but in the meantime: -Ignore his Ass! Straight up give him as little as possible/short answers/he can make his own dinner plate/etc... -Put yourself and your health first. He can't "put you out" .. if anything, he needs to give himself a time out and I would happily show him the door! -Get your ducks in a row.. nothing feels better than having a nest egg or a back up plan. And he doesn't need to know shit about it. -Don't settle for the sake of your kids.. because in reality, you are asking them to settle as well. Nobody is a perfect parent 100% of the time but those kiddos should never have to take a backseat to that god damn Xbox!
We are all here for you.. don't ever feel like an AW when you need to vent or get the girls rallied!
This! This plan has already taken effect. I haven't spoken to him since the incident earlier, and do not plan to. I only made enough food for DD and I, and as soon as DD is tired, I'm off to bed and locking the door. He can have the couch.
Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, DH is lifting up the covers and sniffing. I was like "what are you sniffing?" and he was like "uhhh.. I think your lady parts" so apparently my lady parts are smelling like a Cheeto swamp. ugh.
WTF I would fucking lose it on his ass. Did you at least make him clean up the poop?
I told him to do it and he got all pissy and took off to go fishing instead. So I ended up cleaning it up. His theory is that since he works, I should be 100 percent responsible for everything else so when he is home, he does nothing. Occasionally he will vacuum, but that is the extent of it. He spends damn near all of his time home playing his stupid XBOX. IFor I ask for help with anything, he tells me that I do nothing all day and shouldn't ask him for help because he does everything. If it's true that I do nothing, then I guess that means his dinner magically cooks itself, laundry washes and folds itself, and the house cleans itself every damn day, because he seriously does NOTHING!
I'm sorry for ranting about him so much lately. It's just frustrating to have zero help and to get bitched at for not keeping up with everything. I am trying really hard to take care of DD and do all the house stuff on my own... It's just hard to keep up lately with my lack of energy and my stress being through the roof with all the medical stuff I have going on right now. I just can't with him right now...
Sorry to kind of butt in here but I just wanted to say I totally understand how you feel. Before my kids dad and I split he was the exact same way. Then when he cheated he said it was because I always wanted him "To do stuff and was too negative when he didnt". I'm not saying he is cheating like mine was,I just wanted to say sorry for how he acts and you don't deserve it!!! Even though my life is exhausting being a single mom I'm so much happier out of the bad relationship because now I don't have to stress about him all the time. I hope things do actually get better! Just remember you deserve happiness too.
I told him to do it and he got all pissy and took off to go fishing instead. So I ended up cleaning it up. His theory is that since he works, I should be 100 percent responsible for everything else so when he is home, he does nothing. Occasionally he will vacuum, but that is the extent of it. He spends damn near all of his time home playing his stupid XBOX. IFor I ask for help with anything, he tells me that I do nothing all day and shouldn't ask him for help because he does everything. If it's true that I do nothing, then I guess that means his dinner magically cooks itself, laundry washes and folds itself, and the house cleans itself every damn day, because he seriously does NOTHING!
I'm sorry for ranting about him so much lately. It's just frustrating to have zero help and to get bitched at for not keeping up with everything. I am trying really hard to take care of DD and do all the house stuff on my own... It's just hard to keep up lately with my lack of energy and my stress being through the roof with all the medical stuff I have going on right now. I just can't with him right now...
Sorry to kind of butt in here but I just wanted to say I totally understand how you feel. Before my kids dad and I split he was the exact same way. Then when he cheated he said it was because I always wanted him "To do stuff and was too negative when he didnt". I'm not saying he is cheating like mine was,I just wanted to say sorry for how he acts and you don't deserve it!!! Even though my life is exhausting being a single mom I'm so much happier out of the bad relationship because now I don't have to stress about him all the time. I hope things do actually get better! Just remember you deserve happiness too.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that! I dealt with the cheating part with my XH, and the rest of it with SO. It's hard. I'm happy for you for getting out of it and making a better life for yourself!
I am following the most awful rape trial Nashville has seen in a LONG time. Most people probably know the story by now but four Vanderbilt University football players are being charged with aggravated rape on campus, in one of their dorms.
Basically what happened was the victim was with her boyfriend at Tin Roof, which is absolutely known for over serving and allowing minors to sneak in, she got plastered and blacked out. He took her back to his dorm room and had three of his football mates have sex with her while she was passed out and he filmed it.....! Then the POS sent the video to his friends, who got completely freaked out and tried to delete it.
The whole thing makes me so sick, especially all of the crazy nuts out trying to defend their actions.... You'd think in today's society there honestly wouldn't be idiots who don;t understand exactly what rape is, but there are. God help us all.
I am following the most awful rape trial Nashville has seen in a LONG time. Most people probably know the story by now but four Vanderbilt University football players are being charged with aggravated rape on campus, in one of their dorms.
Basically what happened was the victim was with her boyfriend at Tin Roof, which is absolutely known for over serving and allowing minors to sneak in, she got plastered and blacked out. He took her back to his dorm room and had three of his football mates have sex with her while she was passed out and he filmed it.....! Then the POS sent the video to his friends, who got completely freaked out and tried to delete it.
The whole thing makes me so sick, especially all of the crazy nuts out trying to defend their actions.... You'd think in today's society there honestly wouldn't be idiots who don;t understand exactly what rape is, but there are. God help us all.
I believe that when there is concrete proof of things like this happening (ie the video footage...) the jury should be allowed to reccomend castration as a verdict.
Haha no I'm right there with you!! They came to town last year but I wasn't able to get tickets to see them. We were super bummed.
Joe is my favorite... Some of the things he comes up with are just too much! Larry? Larrrrrry?!?
Hahahaha!! He's hysterical and Murr just has the worst things done to him. We just watched an episode where he had his mouth numbed and then had to do a cooking class in front of all these people. I was dying.
Joe is my favorite... Some of the things he comes up with are just too much! Larry? Larrrrrry?!?
Hahahaha!! He's hysterical and Murr just has the worst things done to him. We just watched an episode where he had his mouth numbed and then had to do a cooking class in front of all these people. I was dying.
YOU GUYSSS. I love that show. DH loves Murr but I think it's because he feels sorry for him...we watched an episode over Christmas where Murr lost and his punishment was to get both nipples and belly button pierced! Sal is my favorite!
Hahahaha!! He's hysterical and Murr just has the worst things done to him. We just watched an episode where he had his mouth numbed and then had to do a cooking class in front of all these people. I was dying.
YOU GUYSSS. I love that show. DH loves Murr but I think it's because he feels sorry for him...we watched an episode over Christmas where Murr lost and his punishment was to get both nipples and belly button pierced! Sal is my favorite!
I felt so bad for him. t&ps to his nipples. I couldn't imagine getting mine pierced! Not that I would ever want to, but OUCH.
Yes, that one looked really painful! I think my favorite one was when they tied him up like a piñata... It was mean, but hilarious! I love Murr too, but I feel really bad for him because he does get the worst punishments... My favorite skit that they do with when they have to go to the grocery store and attach balloons to people, or stick pencils in their pockets... I don't know why, but that one always has my dying from laughing so hard!
Yes, that one looked really painful! I think my favorite one was when they tied him up like a piñata... It was mean, but hilarious! I love Murr too, but I feel really bad for him because he does get the worst punishments... My favorite skit that they do with when they have to go to the grocery store and attach balloons to people, or stick pencils in their pockets... I don't know why, but that one always has my dying from laughing so hard!
That one is super funny!!! Such a good show.
SO and I have a bunch of the episodes on the XBOX. I think I may steal it from him next time he goes outside and watch a few of them. I could use a good laugh.
This is more of a rant than a random but I just needed to vent. My kids father is mixed, but he's pretty light skinned. My first daughter has bright blue eyes and brownish/blonde hair with really pale sskin. So today somebody asked me if I was praying this baby looked at white as my other daughter and that I dodged a bullet with her. Like what?? Why would I care if she was pale or not? Maybe I'm being sensitive,I just hate that people focus on her not looking "black enough". Okay sorry end of rant!
@sastahlman, I'd have painted his xbox (and controllers) with the poop and left it outside the door so it was the first thing he saw when he got home. Oh, after I took a fucking hammer to the console first. He's a grown ass man. He can push the pause button and take care of his real life.
This is more of a rant than a random but I just needed to vent. My kids father is mixed, but he's pretty light skinned. My first daughter has bright blue eyes and brownish/blonde hair with really pale sskin. So today somebody asked me if I was praying this baby looked at white as my other daughter and that I dodged a bullet with her. Like what?? Why would I care if she was pale or not? Maybe I'm being sensitive,I just hate that people focus on her not looking "black enough". Okay sorry end of rant!
Nope. That's just fucking rude. I would have had something pretty rude to come back with.
This is more of a rant than a random but I just needed to vent. My kids father is mixed, but he's pretty light skinned. My first daughter has bright blue eyes and brownish/blonde hair with really pale sskin. So today somebody asked me if I was praying this baby looked at white as my other daughter and that I dodged a bullet with her. Like what?? Why would I care if she was pale or not? Maybe I'm being sensitive,I just hate that people focus on her not looking "black enough". Okay sorry end of rant!
Nope. That's just fucking rude. I would have had something pretty rude to come back with.
I'm always so shocked that people feel so comfortable talking about her coloring or whatever! I don't even know what to say to them, I just usually say I don't care about skin color and try to move on! I don't know, people are dumb.
This is more of a rant than a random but I just needed to vent. My kids father is mixed, but he's pretty light skinned. My first daughter has bright blue eyes and brownish/blonde hair with really pale sskin. So today somebody asked me if I was praying this baby looked at white as my other daughter and that I dodged a bullet with her. Like what?? Why would I care if she was pale or not? Maybe I'm being sensitive,I just hate that people focus on her not looking "black enough". Okay sorry end of rant!
What the fuck? How do people actually think, let alone say, these things? And then we almost never can respond how we want when someone says something so ridiculous because we're so caught off guard. I'm sorry you were subjected to that
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