One Favored More Than The Other

[kels09]

Anyone else dealing with this?  One of my boys is very quiet and shy while the other is very social.  I find myself constantly having to remind family that E would like a turn, a hug, or a treat. L is always the first one to be picked up or noticed. It hurts me when people don't acknowledge his brother. 

I won't have a chance to update my siggy until Friday but I have fraternal boys who are almost 16 months (13 months adjusted)

[mrsf0831]

I don't have advice but please explain to me this twin lingo your boys being 16mos but 13mos adjusted? Tia I see it all the time and i just rack my brain w a million things

[SassyPants150]

Jan 22, 2015 7:44:08 GMT -5 mrsf0831 said:

I don't have advice but please explain to me this twin lingo your boys being 16mos but 13mos adjusted? Tia I see it all the time and i just rack my brain w a million things

By actual age, they are 16 months but they were born prematurely so if born on their due date they would be 13 months. Since there are so many developments early especially in a three month span, using the adjusted age more suit the developmental stage.

[SassyPants150]

I don't have advice either but this is something I worry about. My DD has been the limelight especially to her grandparents. She has always had a bright and vibrant personality. Everyone had also been "rooting" for me to have a boy so I'm worried that my DD2 will kind of go un noticed.

[harti09]

If this is a reoccurring issue and your reminders aren't sinking in, I think it might be time to formally address it.

We've run into a similar issue with family. My in-laws obviously favor DS, who acts and looks similar to my H. While my family doesn't necessarily favor DD, they are drawn to her more because of her likeness to me.

My family picked up on the hints and reminders to give DS more attention. My in-laws did not get the memo, specifically my FIL. My H had to bring it up to them. It was done in a non accusing way and fixed the problem for the most part.

Now I find myself having to give reminders that just because it's a 'boy thing' doesn't mean that DD isn't interested, and vice versa I have a feeling that talk will be next.

[wamom]

All of what millimeter314 said. I am worried about competition between all the siblings but if it's your family showing favoritism I would definitely say something. My Mom recently spoiled my DD with a whole bunch of new things and got DS nothing. Which being 3.5 he noticed and felt hurt.

My grandma has also said more than once "she loves girls more than boys". Well fuck you. If you can't love my kids the same because of different sexes your time with them will be limited.

[ceebug]

This happened to us at the age your kids are now. Dd was very clingy and didn't want to interact with anyone other than me. Ds loved the attention. She eventually outgrew the clinginess, but I understand your concern.

Hopefully your family will pick up on the hints.

[kels09]

Thank you ladies.  I am going to talk to my family about it. It's time and I don't want to feel like my boys aren't being treated equally anymore.