MOTN Club

[carolyngrace]

Somehow my baby is still awake! He has been up since about 11 PM. Not crying or anything, just happily looking around. Three hours of that! Seriously, the most he has been awake before this is like an hour at a time.

And of course DH said he would help with nighttime stuff on the weekends. And when I asked him to hold the baby at 11 he suddenly was way too tired. I get that he had a long work week. But I feel like we're going to fight about baby stuff this weekend!

[missjenniebean]

carolyngrace that was Vera yesterday! Today she decided to spit up for the last four hours. Hopefully that stops because I have yet to sleep since this morning.

SO pulls that crap. Came home and said he was gonna feed the baby but instead he fell asleep. He has also stated he will wake up early to feed her so I can get sleep but decided all week to wake up 20 minutes before he has to leave. I stopped leaving out stuff. And he says he tired. I retaliate with " what happens when I go back to work? I am already sleeping through alarms and I wont be able to survive on these all nighters" not that it matters if she is throwing up all night as he thinks it us gross and doesn't want to deal with it. He also thinks V is spoiled and requires to much attention. But he does all the kitchen stuff so I guess I shouldn't complain.

[dogmama22]

Jun 13, 2015 2:00:42 GMT -5 missjenniebean said:

I am already sleeping through alarms and I wont be able to survive on these all nighters" not that it matters if she is throwing up all night as he thinks it us gross and doesn't want to deal with it. He also thinks V is spoiled and requires to much attention. But he does all the kitchen stuff so I guess I shouldn't complain.

At least he's helping with something, but it's still not cool for him to have that attitude towards your baby. Of course spit up is no one's favorite, but come on! Also, tell him to read any baby book or ask the pediatrician about spoiling - that's nonsense (as you already know). FX that he steps it up for you before you have to return to work as well. This transition is definitely a tricky one!

[ravinraven216]

I just had a very practical lesson in how newborn boys projectile pee. It all landed on DS, though. I was honestly impressed.

DH and I have hashed out a rudimentary night time schedule of 2-3 hour intervals where one of us sleeps while the other looks after DS/sleeps if they can. We've managed around 4 hours each since 8:00 last night. I'm letting him sleep more since he is spending the day helping my mom move later this morning.

[trixi282]

I'm up pumping finally after turning off my 2:30 alarm. So its now been 6+ hours since I pumped instead of 4-is for MOTN while she's in NICU. Oops!

[a5swanson]

Jun 12, 2015 22:10:33 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

Jun 12, 2015 19:06:33 GMT -5 shahoi said:

Baby girl is only 4 days, but last night she wanted to eat every hour. And she fed for a long time at each of the feedings. And I successfully have not used the nipple shield since yesterday evening. My nipples are paying the price now after all the feedings last night and today. And her transition diaper today was a blow-out. Already! Just barely, but it did get on her onsie in 2 different places. I heard it happen and knew it was going to be bad. She lifted her butt and everything lol.

We're on day 7. By day 3 my nipples were hamburger, and he wasn't even eating for more than 10 minutes at a time. His latch is great, but my god, the pain. I've been applying a dab of milk at the end of each feeding, letting it dry, and then applying a little neosporin with pain reliever in it. Today, the pain is more manageable, and short-lived. The relief is in sight!

Ahhh omg. Last night the pain was at it's all time high (I hope). Both of my nipples are cracked and she has a very strong latch. She also loves to false start.

I literally was screaming and crying and yelling at her. DH and Monster (our Boston Terrier) came flying in and tried to console me as I bawled my eyes out. Definitely a low. Who yells at an innocent 12 day old?! I'm such a psycho!

I spent the rest of the feeding crying and apologizing to LO for yelling. Sigh. I just need my nips to toughen up like, yesterday.

Its always just like the first 30 seconds of the latch, so I think the latching is good--my nips were just virgins before. Anyone think my latch could be bad? Help this psycho, plz.

[daydreamernyc]

Jun 13, 2015 5:19:18 GMT -5 a5swanson said:

Jun 12, 2015 22:10:33 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

We're on day 7. By day 3 my nipples were hamburger, and he wasn't even eating for more than 10 minutes at a time. His latch is great, but my god, the pain. I've been applying a dab of milk at the end of each feeding, letting it dry, and then applying a little neosporin with pain reliever in it. Today, the pain is more manageable, and short-lived. The relief is in sight!

Ahhh omg. Last night the pain was at it's all time high (I hope). Both of my nipples are cracked and she has a very strong latch. She also loves to false start.

I literally was screaming and crying and yelling at her. DH and Monster (our Boston Terrier) came flying in and tried to console me as I bawled my eyes out. Definitely a low. Who yells at an innocent 12 day old?! I'm such a psycho!

I spent the rest of the feeding crying and apologizing to LO for yelling. Sigh. I just need my nips to toughen up like, yesterday.

Its always just like the first 30 seconds of the latch, so I think the latching is good--my nips were just virgins before. Anyone think my latch could be bad? Help this psycho, plz.

If you are worried about possible bad latching then definitely call a lactation consultant. It is worth the money if it means that they can help ensure you can breast feed for the long haul. But don't delay if you do call. 

Otherwise, if the latch us good then it's just your body getting used to it and it will pass and get better in a week. I was the same way (literally screaming in pain) and then a few days later it got dramatically better. Also, make sure you are using cream (I'm using boobease which has been great) 

good luck, sorry it's been hard. Breastfeeding is not easy but it is so rewarding for both you and baby. 

[missjenniebean]

a5swanson
I totally had a night like this. I yelled "shut the F up! The whole world can hear you!" On one of her non stop crying nights. SO heard through the monitor and came for relief duty, I felt so bad that I did the same thing and apologized all day. It gets hard, definitely.

[wegrowsheep]

Jun 13, 2015 5:19:18 GMT -5 a5swanson said:

Jun 12, 2015 22:10:33 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

We're on day 7. By day 3 my nipples were hamburger, and he wasn't even eating for more than 10 minutes at a time. His latch is great, but my god, the pain. I've been applying a dab of milk at the end of each feeding, letting it dry, and then applying a little neosporin with pain reliever in it. Today, the pain is more manageable, and short-lived. The relief is in sight!

Ahhh omg. Last night the pain was at it's all time high (I hope). Both of my nipples are cracked and she has a very strong latch. She also loves to false start.

I literally was screaming and crying and yelling at her. DH and Monster (our Boston Terrier) came flying in and tried to console me as I bawled my eyes out. Definitely a low. Who yells at an innocent 12 day old?! I'm such a psycho!

I spent the rest of the feeding crying and apologizing to LO for yelling. Sigh. I just need my nips to toughen up like, yesterday.

Its always just like the first 30 seconds of the latch, so I think the latching is good--my nips were just virgins before. Anyone think my latch could be bad? Help this psycho, plz.

+1 for the sobbing! I have DH squeeze my feet really hard as a distraction. It helps a little, and makes him feel better

[ajm11]

Jun 13, 2015 5:33:48 GMT -5 daydreamernyc said:

Jun 13, 2015 5:19:18 GMT -5 a5swanson said:

Ahhh omg. Last night the pain was at it's all time high (I hope). Both of my nipples are cracked and she has a very strong latch. She also loves to false start.

I literally was screaming and crying and yelling at her. DH and Monster (our Boston Terrier) came flying in and tried to console me as I bawled my eyes out. Definitely a low. Who yells at an innocent 12 day old?! I'm such a psycho!

I spent the rest of the feeding crying and apologizing to LO for yelling. Sigh. I just need my nips to toughen up like, yesterday.

Its always just like the first 30 seconds of the latch, so I think the latching is good--my nips were just virgins before. Anyone think my latch could be bad? Help this psycho, plz.

If you are worried about possible bad latching then definitely call a lactation consultant. It is worth the money if it means that they can help ensure you can breast feed for the long haul. But don't delay if you do call. 

Otherwise, if the latch us good then it's just your body getting used to it and it will pass and get better in a week. I was the same way (literally screaming in pain) and then a few days later it got dramatically better. Also, make sure you are using cream (I'm using boobease which has been great) 

good luck, sorry it's been hard. Breastfeeding is not easy but it is so rewarding for both you and baby. 

+1 to all of this. Breastfeeding is hard enough when everything is going right. Definitely see a lactation consultant if you have any doubts about the latch.

I can honestly say that my nipples hurt worse than anything up until a few days ago. DD2 is two weeks old, and there's still some minor pain when she first latches but it has gotten so much better over the past few days. It gets better eventually, but I know it feels like it is dragging when you're in pain. Hugs.

[carolyngrace]

Does anyone else go here tonight? What's going on ladies?

DH just let me sleep from 11-1 and now I'm on wide-awake baby duty for the next few hours. When I woke up I was having an awesome dream where this gorgeous man was flirting with me. I want to go back to there...

Also I feel slightly bad that I don't hold DB more when he's content. Right now he's in his mamarou swing thing watching the lights on the ceiling. Between breastfeeding and holding him when he's upset I just feel like I hold him a lot already!

[ravinraven216]

I am just now going to sleep. We tried having LO sleep in our room and I stayed awake through every sniffle and sneeze. DH found me in the baby room around 3:45 and was vociferous about me going to sleep while he hung out with LO. Of course LO was ready for a massive feeding session 5 minutes later, so I was back out. Both boobs and I are exhausted, which means I might get some rest now.

[a5swanson]

Jun 14, 2015 1:12:57 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

Does anyone else go here tonight? What's going on ladies?

DH just let me sleep from 11-1 and now I'm on wide-awake baby duty for the next few hours. When I woke up I was having an awesome dream where this gorgeous man was flirting with me. I want to go back to there...

Also I feel slightly bad that I don't hold DB more when he's content. Right now he's in his mamarou swing thing watching the lights on the ceiling. Between breastfeeding and holding him when he's upset I just feel like I hold him a lot already! [/quote

My Mom is constantly telling me that I don't hold Alaska enough! I feel like just because you aren't attached to your LO constantly doesn't mean they aren't getting the cuddles they need. I will admit that I want her to be independent so I don't mind when she's up and in her rock n play or whatever.

[redlipz]

Dear H, I freakin hate you!
He works 6 days a week and leaves the house at 430am so I have been letting him sleep and not asking for any help. As some of you might know, I've been getting very little sleep so I thought since today is his day off maybe he would get up and change a diaper or something....NOPE, he is passed the fuck out! Baby was crying while I was in the bathroom and he got up n just looked at her. Didn't pick her up or anything. I'm so mad! I've been getting maybe an hour and a half of sleep A DAY with the exception of yesterday when she was such a good baby n let me sleep longer.
Is it ok for me to strangle him mid snore?

[carolyngrace]

Jun 14, 2015 7:52:51 GMT -5 redlipz said:

Dear H, I freakin hate you!
He works 6 days a week and leaves the house at 430am so I have been letting him sleep and not asking for any help. As some of you might know, I've been getting very little sleep so I thought since today is his day off maybe he would get up and change a diaper or something....NOPE, he is passed the fuck out! Baby was crying while I was in the bathroom and he got up n just looked at her. Didn't pick her up or anything. I'm so mad! I've been getting maybe an hour and a half of sleep A DAY with the exception of yesterday when she was such a good baby n let me sleep longer.
Is it ok for me to strangle him mid snore?

Yes.

I'm about to do the same. DH got out of bed an hour before DB and I did. So when I got up I asked him to hold DB while I eat. He looks super annoyed and makes some comment about "just getting into something" on the computer. Uhhh, good for you? I am going to be doing this alone the rest of the week, excuse me for thinking you'd prioritize helping me on the weekend. It's not even that he wants to relax a bit, I'm happy to do a bigger share of baby stuff, but come on, at least think about what might be nice for me (ie ten minutes to eat without holding a baby!)

[carolyngrace]

Ugh. I confronted DH about being crabby at me for asking for help and he said he's not crabby with me, he's crabby with this life and feels depressed

I think we both have been feeling down this weekend. We were so unprepared for how a baby would change our lives. We're both used to being so selfish. This is gunna take a while.

[lalamomma]

Jun 14, 2015 8:30:13 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

Ugh. I confronted DH about being crabby at me for asking for help and he said he's not crabby with me, he's crabby with this life and feels depressed

I think we both have been feeling down this weekend. We were so unprepared for how a baby would change our lives. We're both used to being so selfish. This is gunna take a while.

It does take time! Be patient and keep communicating!
Seriously it will get easier!

[missjenniebean]

Jun 14, 2015 8:30:13 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

Ugh. I confronted DH about being crabby at me for asking for help and he said he's not crabby with me, he's crabby with this life and feels depressed

I think we both have been feeling down this weekend. We were so unprepared for how a baby would change our lives. We're both used to being so selfish. This is gunna take a while.

Same with SO...def gonna take a while but communicating is better than not.

[Deleted]

Jun 14, 2015 8:53:51 GMT -5 lalamomma said:

Jun 14, 2015 8:30:13 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

Ugh. I confronted DH about being crabby at me for asking for help and he said he's not crabby with me, he's crabby with this life and feels depressed

I think we both have been feeling down this weekend. We were so unprepared for how a baby would change our lives. We're both used to being so selfish. This is gunna take a while.

It does take time! Be patient and keep communicating!
Seriously it will get easier!

carolyngrace it's really good your DH is communicating to you his feelings and everything he is going through is completely normal. It's a huge life changing experience. It does get a lot easier. The first 3 months are really hard. Also dads get a lot more out of the experience once the babies are more interactive.

[carolyngrace]

Jun 14, 2015 12:05:23 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Jun 14, 2015 8:53:51 GMT -5 lalamomma said:

It does take time! Be patient and keep communicating!
Seriously it will get easier!

carolyngrace it's really good your DH is communicating to you his feelings and everything he is going through is completely normal. It's a huge life changing experience. It does get a lot easier. The first 3 months are really hard. Also dads get a lot more out of the experience once the babies are more interactive.

Yeah I'm really glad he's talking about it... It's hard for me to just accept this is where we're at and not try to fix it somehow. But I know you're right, a few months from now will be a whole different story.

[gilder40]

Things have been getting tough around here too. Tins is fantastic, and she's not a difficult baby. But my husband works nights from 2am-10am, so I am on baby duty pretty much all night by myself. When he gets home, he takes her for about an hour so I can shower and eat. Then he goes and naps for about 3-4 hours. Overall, I can't complain because he's been helping as much as he can. But when he gripes about feeding her or changing a diaper or wants to go play computer games, I get upset. He's also started this weekly thing where he wants to go play cards with his guy friends. They start at 5pm and play until almost midnight. Then he goes to work. And then he proceeds to sleep almost the entire next day. I don't mind it every now and then, but this every week crap is going to stop. Especially if his days off get switched to the day they play. I refuse to let him take an entire night off to go play with the boys and leave me alone. That's crap. He needs to spend his days off with us. Not playing some stupid game with his guy friends who DON'T HAVE KIDS. Life has changed buddy.

[gilder40]

redlipz I think you are totally right. We feel this tiny human moving, growing, and have that maternal instinct kicked into high gear. Men don't have that time to really "bond" with the baby like we do. I'm very much a people pleaser, so I want everyone around me to be happy, and it's difficult for me to ask for help.

And I feel bad complaining about that one thing. He does give me time to myself every morning before he takes a nap, and he helps in the evening. I'm just tired. And that makes me cranky. Lol.

[redlipz]

Ugh! I totally didn't mean to delete that post, I just wanted to edit n pressed delete by accident. Tried to get it back but didn't work:/

gilder40 I'm also the same way but then I kinda resent them if I get nothing in return.

[ravinraven216]

Boo cluster feeding. Started around 10:00 and is still going strong at 3:00. DH and I are both at our wits end. I haven't slept for almost 24 hours. It was too warm, noisy, and bright during the day today for me to fall asleep. I rested, but didn't get any true sleep. This is some bullshit.

[pghtruelove]

Laying awake in bed feeling like crap. Feeling nasuous and my lower abdomin is so sore. Offically past my EDD, and ready for this baby girl to get out!!!

[a5swanson]

Jun 15, 2015 2:11:38 GMT -5 ravinraven216 said:

Boo cluster feeding. Started around 10:00 and is still going strong at 3:00. DH and I are both at our wits end. I haven't slept for almost 24 hours. It was too warm, noisy, and bright during the day today for me to fall asleep. I rested, but didn't get any true sleep. This is some bullshit.

My LO clusters between like 10-2 almost nightly too. We call them "Alaskasodes". They're so rough. The only time they are bearable for me is if I can get an hour or two of sleep in before it starts. Last night that was impossible because of Game of Thrones. You are not alone, sister!

[a5swanson]

Jun 14, 2015 15:09:11 GMT -5 gilder40 said:

Things have been getting tough around here too. Tins is fantastic, and she's not a difficult baby. But my husband works nights from 2am-10am, so I am on baby duty pretty much all night by myself. When he gets home, he takes her for about an hour so I can shower and eat. Then he goes and naps for about 3-4 hours. Overall, I can't complain because he's been helping as much as he can. But when he gripes about feeding her or changing a diaper or wants to go play computer games, I get upset. He's also started this weekly thing where he wants to go play cards with his guy friends. They start at 5pm and play until almost midnight. Then he goes to work. And then he proceeds to sleep almost the entire next day. I don't mind it every now and then, but this every week crap is going to stop. Especially if his days off get switched to the day they play. I refuse to let him take an entire night off to go play with the boys and leave me alone. That's crap. He needs to spend his days off with us. Not playing some stupid game with his guy friends who DON'T HAVE KIDS. Life has changed buddy.

Yikes, yeah...I'd prob be telling DH exactly that: "life has changed, buddy." It's important that they still have time to themselves, but if his card night is causing you to be a single parent for a good 24-48 hours, id definitely say something.

[pghtruelove]

Having contractions but they are ranging anywhere from 4-9 mins. Nothing steady and pretty mild. Please baby just come already.

[gilder40]

So here I am, nursing my little one at 5am....and she pulls off right after letdown. I didn't realize it immediately, and I was so full that I was literally spraying milk all over the place. Lovely.

[wegrowsheep]

4am feeding, going on hour 36 of mastitis migraine. Not sure what's worse, the fiery right boob pain every time he gulps, or my head. Hello old stash of oxycodone. I think a half a pill just might take the edge off.

Also, who is using a nursing app? This is a new thing since my last baby, and I love it!