Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
When DH and I started talking about upgrading one of the cars to an SUV, he made a big deal about getting to drive the new car and threw a tantrum when I told him that I should drive it because I have a 7 mile commute and he has a 30 mile one. Well, he starts a new job a Monday and we purchased a Honda Pilot this past weekend. He will now be driving it, because our commutes are almost identical, but he has a better parking lot. I'm irrationally annoyed now that he "gets" the new car.
H and I have been arguing all morning about NIP. I'm getting so ragey. Even though there is NO BABY to NIP. Why the fuck are we having this convo right now??
What is NIP? (I googled it and the result was ninjas in pajamas)
When DH and I started talking about upgrading one of the cars to an SUV, he made a big deal about getting to drive the new car and threw a tantrum when I told him that I should drive it because I have a 7 mile commute and he has a 30 mile one. Well, he starts a new job a Monday and we purchased a Honda Pilot this past weekend. He will now be driving it, because our commutes are almost identical, but he has a better parking lot. I'm irrationally annoyed now that he "gets" the new car.
I'm confused about this. You had an extremely short commute and that made you more deserving of the new car? DH and I have the opposite argument. He wants to drive his current car (an old Honda Civic) forever. I want him to get a new SUV or something. He has a 45-60 minute drive to work and I feel he would be safer (especially in the winter) in a newer SUV. I'm also not sure how parking lots factor into the decision. If it's that big of an argument can't you just take turns?
ETA: this whole thing rubs me the wrong way. It seems a bit childish to argue over who gets to drive a car. Maybe that's just me tho.
Depending on how new of a car it is, they may be thinking of putting miles on it... putting a ton of miles on a much older car doesn't do a ton to it's value but putting a lot of miles on a very new car will quickly depreciate it's value.
Less susceptible to damage from other cars? (Ex: cars too close so the door causes a dent or scratch) I'm confused too.
H and I have had this same debate over who gets to drive which car. He works in a not so great part of town and his car has repeatedly been scratched, dinged, and even keyed.
Less susceptible to damage from other cars? (Ex: cars too close so the door causes a dent or scratch) I'm confused too.
H and I have had this same debate over who gets to drive which car. He works in a not so great part of town and his car has repeatedly been scratched, dinged, and even keyed.
He drives the crappy car
If this is the reasoning then I can kind of understand. Kind of....
Depending on how new of a car it is, they may be thinking of putting miles on it... putting a ton of miles on a much older car doesn't do a ton to it's value but butting a lot of miles on a very new car will quickly depreciate it's value.
Yeah, this. I'm constantly trying to convince M to take my car on our trips— because he has a 2015 with 8000 miles on it already, because he drives 35 miles a day, whereas my 2005 has 57,000 miles on it, because I drive 12 miles a day.
To mustloveerica's point, while it does seem silly to argue over who gets to drive a new car, I did tell M that the next new-new car we buy will be mine. My car we bought used, and his we bought new. I want something pretty and shiny at some point.
This makes sense as well. DH drives his old and beat up Honda and I have a newish SUV. But I bought the SUV before we lived together. So the next car we get will be "his". But we do occasionally swap cars (bad weather, big things needing to be transported, DH drives my car when I'm out of town because he likes it, etc). But we've never really argued about who drives what.
H and I set out to buy a car for a person, not a car for the household. I had never thought about doing it differently. I have my car, and he has his. Obviously, we can trade anytime, but when my car dies, I will get a new car. When he needed a new car for work, he got a car.
H and I set out to buy a car for a person, not a car for the household. I had never thought about doing it differently. I have my car, and he has his. Obviously, we can trade anytime, but when my car dies, I will get a new car. When he needed a new car for work, he got a car.
Just a different way of looking at it.
This is us as well. We just bought a new 2015 SUV to replace my 1995 that was falling apart. DH drives it to work occasionally on the weekends if I plan on just staying home. But if I'm working, I take the new car. That's what we bought it for. The next vehicle we buy will be for DH. His car is in much better shape than my old one was. So, the car is "ours" but I'm the one that primarily drives it to work. He drives it when I'm off or when we're both off. Not sure if that makes sense.
My SIL loves to rant about how she'd never do that in public. And how her SIL does do that in public, and how gross it was, and how dare she not think of the comfort level of my FIL. I just have to keep my mouth shut.
Yeah. I think he will come around. His answer was "cant you do it in the car on the way home?" He has clearly never heard a hungry cry and didn't think about safety. I think once he's more educated on it he will change his opinion a little. But still, we have a long time to worry about that convo.
I coincidentally just saw a post on facebook about this. I will share just a piece that I find really profound about the breastfeeding in public thing: "So examine this image. Does it make you uncomfortable? That's ok. But explore that feeling. Ask why? Is it too fleshy? Do you find it immodest? Compared to what? Don't we need men to see the female body doing this incredible biological function? Because they see plenty of female bodies selling products. Don't our sons need to see women breastfeeding before they see breasts selling beer? Don't our daughters need to find pride in their bodies' incredible strength before they learn our culture has co-opted it as commodity?"
I made a really lovely salad for my lunch today. Too bad I left it at home.
I wish I could make good salad from home. Mine ends up tasting like I plucked grass from the front lawn and poured gross dressing on it.
It was one of my favorite new flavors, co-opted from Au Bon Pain: spinach with half a chopped apple, walnuts, craisins and chunks of brie. Add balsamic dressing. It is truly delish.
I wish I could make good salad from home. Mine ends up tasting like I plucked grass from the front lawn and poured gross dressing on it.
It was one of my favorite new flavors, co-opted from Au Bon Pain: spinach with half a chopped apple, walnuts, craisins and chunks of brie. Add balsamic dressing. It is truly delish.
This sounds delicious... I am sad for you and your poor lonely salad sitting at home in your refrigerator. What's your address again?
H and I set out to buy a car for a person, not a car for the household. I had never thought about doing it differently. I have my car, and he has his. Obviously, we can trade anytime, but when my car dies, I will get a new car. When he needed a new car for work, he got a car.
Just a different way of looking at it.
Same here. We also split mutual finances and pay for our own items (cell, car, credit cards) though, so it may be different for those with joint accounts? I'm not sure.
We have completely joint finances. They have only been joint for a year, but we did buy H's new car jointly. However, the car payment is in his name only, and we're both on the insurance.
I like having my own car. I live out of it. He likes having his because it stays pristine. He grimaces when I borrow his car because I move in.
H and I set out to buy a car for a person, not a car for the household. I had never thought about doing it differently. I have my car, and he has his. Obviously, we can trade anytime, but when my car dies, I will get a new car. When he needed a new car for work, he got a car.
Just a different way of looking at it.
This is us, too. We have a joint account for joint bills but cars are separate. I buy my car and he buys his car. When we each buy a new car, we take the other's advice and opinion in to consideration but it's still up to the individual.
I said I was irrationally annoyed, I know it is dumb!
The parking lot thing is exactly to keep it safer/nicer. I park in a super tiny train station that is packed everyday. We plan on keeping this care for a LONG time, so just trying to keep it looking shiny and new! I also take better care of the inside of cars, while H has been known to dump his coffee on the seat weekly. Ha!
NEITHER one of us is more deserving than the other. That decision was strictly financial. We have a strict transportation budget that would take a huge hit if we were driving a SUV 60 miles/day. The car I brought to the relationship gets awesome gas mileage, so it would make the most sense too drive it more. Both cars are super safe and reliable. SUV does not = safer.
ETA: spelling. #2: I'm a complete word failure today.
I said I was irattionally annoyed, I know it is dumb!
The parking lot thing is exactly to keep it safer/nicer. I park in a super tiny train station that is packed everyday. We plan on keeping this care for a LONG time, so just trying to keep it looking shiny and new! I also take better care of the inside of cars, while H has been known to dumb his coffee on the seat weekly. Ha!
NEITHER one of us is more deserving than the other. That decision was strictly financial. We have a strict transportation budget that would take a huge hit if we were driving a SUV 60 miles/day. The car I brought to the relationship gets awesome gas mileage, so it would make the most sense too drive it more. Both cars are super safe and reliable. SUV does not = safer.
This I can totally understand. I keep the inside of my car pretty clean. MH does not. MH is clumsy and spills everything. And then he forgets to clean it. The inside of his car is a little icky. And sticky.
Post by PepperPottsJ on Jun 4, 2015 10:28:57 GMT -5
mlgnumbers oh my goodness... So glad you are going to get rest and know what is wrong - I have been hospitalized for a few of those . You have a crazy high pain tolerance!!!
rablissful you are beyond strong, T&Ps to you, I've had way to much experience with this and it's something you can't be numb to, especially with a child - much love to you
I just started eating a bag of choco chips and I want a diet coke (I don't drink soda) I hate this day please end
Post by goldenlove3 on Jun 4, 2015 10:43:23 GMT -5
H and I have our own separate cars. H has a truck and I have a crossover. We each drive our own cars for work but when we're together, we choose whatever is best for whatever we're doing. Grocery shopping is easier with my car, for Home Depot we take the truck, long distances we usually take my car because of the gas mileage etc. We hardly ever swap cars.
Technically DH has an elantra and I have a tacoma. But, we basically share the vehicles. The car gets used by whoever is driving farther that day unless the truck is needed for something specifically. Now that I work so far away I never get to drive my beautiful truck lol
So someone left a mumbled message on our work voicemail and their first and last name combined sounded like Jamiroquai. So I laughed and said to one of my staff, who is 22, "Jamiroquai called and needs service." She looked at me like I had 10 heads and said who is Jamiroquai. I feel so old.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Post by requiressnacks on Jun 4, 2015 10:56:12 GMT -5
H and I don't share vehicles at all. He only drives his and I only drive mine. He got a brand new truck last year, and we use it a lot on the weekends if we need a truck. But I've never even driven it.
I'll be getting a new car later this year, and he will likely never drive it.
We were just on different vehicle replacement cycles. THat would be hilarious if he ever tried to tell me that I had to drive his hand-me-down vehicle though. That shit would never happen.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
H and I don't share vehicles at all. He only drives his and I only drive mine. He got a brand new truck last year, and we use it a lot on the weekends if we need a truck. But I've never even driven it.
I'll be getting a new car later this year, and he will likely never drive it.
We were just on different vehicle replacement cycles. THat would be hilarious if he ever tried to tell me that I had to drive his hand-me-down vehicle though. That shit would never happen.
Whenever I try to convince DH that he should get a newer car he says "well give me your car and we will get you a new car". I don't need a new car. He's a silly goose.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
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