On the whole every pregnancy is different, not everyone enjoys pregnancy. Yes it's a beautiful thing but for some it can cause a lot of physical pain and discomfort. Don't feel bad if you can't be all smiles and glowing radiance.
You can also fucking hate being pregnant. Even if you tried for a long time. Even if you went through hell to get pregnant. Hating being pregnant does not make you a monster. A lot of pregnancy sucks. Like, a lot. If you don't find yourself magically turned into a mother goddess who revels in being pregnant, that is perfectly fine and not a reflection on how you feel towards your baby. You can love your baby and hate the process. Really. It's all cool. And if someone makes you feel bad for not enjoying the swelling, vomiting, aching, and constantly being tired and uncomfortable, fork them in the eyes.
Thank you so much for this biblio. I'm so right here this morning and felt terrible thinking how much I really hate being pregnant.
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
You can also fucking hate being pregnant. Even if you tried for a long time. Even if you went through hell to get pregnant. Hating being pregnant does not make you a monster. A lot of pregnancy sucks. Like, a lot. If you don't find yourself magically turned into a mother goddess who revels in being pregnant, that is perfectly fine and not a reflection on how you feel towards your baby. You can love your baby and hate the process. Really. It's all cool. And if someone makes you feel bad for not enjoying the swelling, vomiting, aching, and constantly being tired and uncomfortable, fork them in the eyes.
Thank you so much for this biblio. I'm so right here this morning and felt terrible thinking how much I really hate being pregnant.
I had morning sickness so bad that I spent many times crying on MH because of how hungry and sick and miserable I was. I remember thinking "you should be happy, dammit. You're pregnant and that's what you wanted, right? So just stop bitching. BE HAPPY. Because if you're not then you're ungrateful and do you know how many women would kill to be in your shoes?"
It took a while to realize that just because I wanted this so, so badly does not make it easy. Pregnancy is hard. Even if you have a relatively uneventful pregnancy. It's still hard and you're allowed to hate the process. It doesn't make you a bad person. And telling yourself that your feelings are horrible and wrong just makes it worse. Don't beat yourself up. Because a lot of pregnancy sucks and you're allowed to think that it sucks.
It's been said but should be constantly repeated: "pregnancy is different for everyone." As a result my best piece of advice is to avoid Dr. Google, it will drive you insane!
It's been said but should be constantly repeated: "pregnancy is different for everyone." As a result my best piece of advice is to avoid Dr. Google, it will drive you insane!
Unless it says you're pregnant with an albino velociraptor. Because that's probably true.
If you are a magical unicorn and don't have morning sickness, pain, insomnia, mood swings, etc. that everyone else seems to be experiencing, it's OK. That's your pregnancy experience. But for the sake of others, if you don't have something constructive, sympathetic, or helpful to add don't say anything at all. Otherwise karma will hit you later. I don't know your company's HR policies. Read a handbook or talk to your rep. FMLA and other federal, state, provincial questions are ok if the same question isn't answered 2 posts down.
If you are a magical unicorn and don't have morning sickness, pain, insomnia, mood swings, etc. that everyone else seems to be experiencing, it's OK. That's your pregnancy experience. But for the sake of others, if you don't have something constructive, sympathetic, or helpful to add don't say anything at all. Otherwise karma will hit you later. I don't know your company's HR policies. Read a handbook or talk to your rep. FMLA and other federal, state, provincial questions are ok if the same question isn't answered 2 posts down.
Yeah, no. When someone asks me how my pregnancy has been or how sick I've been I'm not allowed to say "I haven't gotten sick." Haven't we all been saying that every pregnancy is different - some women experience all of the worst, some experience none of the worst, and some experience everything in between. One woman's pregnancy isn't more or less valid, nor is she more or less entitled to talk about what she's experiencing (or not experiencing).
"Otherwise karma will hit you later." What a stupid thing to say.
Married DH 09/21/13 BCP 08/08-02/12, 01/13-08/14 Paragard 02/16-? TTC#1 August '14 1st BFP 3/9/15! EDD: 11/17/15 Emma Rose born 11/26/15 (Thanksgiving!)
I think most of it can be covered, as you all said, with "every pregnancy is different," or even the fact that every DAY can be different. You can be completely disinterested in food one day and ravenous the next. Exhausted one day and spirited the next. It doesn't mean there's something wrong or that your symptoms went away... it means hormones are crazy and ravaging your body.
Also, I'm in 2nd tri, have started feeling movement and STILL have PGaL moments. I can't speak to when those thoughts go away, if they do or if they even will show up again in subsequent pregnancies, but I would like to think they're normal. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day.
ETA: Also, don't beat yourself up if you have a GOOD day. It doesn't mean you've forgotten everything that's happened... but that you're trying to enjoy this pregnancy as much as you can.
I will never ever fault a woman for worrying about a lack of symptoms. Each time I miscarried, my symptoms disappeared a few weeks prior. Anecdote, sure. But going through that is scary, and its natural to worry about what you can't see.
Hugs!
And on this note, it's normal to feel anxious. I have been fortunate enough to not have experienced a loss, but that doesn't mean I don't worry - Every. Single. Day. that something might happen.
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