I haven't researched this much. I will say though that just because H has a penis does not mean I'll be leaving the decision up to him. We both have to agree and need to have actual research to back it up. Not just because everyone else is doing it.
So much this. I really don't understand the argument that the husband should decide because he has a penis. Deciding whether or not to surgically alter your child should be a joint decision. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that DH defers to me on all of the girls' medical decisions. That makes zero sense.
We circ'ed DS1 and will circ DS2. Ultimately I think there are pros and cons to either side and no one should GAF what anyone else does. But that's my stance on many parenting decisions.
I don't care much what others do on this one. I don't think that's necessarily clear from my post, which I intended to explain why we're struggling with the decision.
But if you raise your kid to like Caillou on purpose, I will judge. I will judge SO HARDCORE.
CircumcisionJun 24, 2015 18:07:28 GMT -5via mobile
Post by xcrissx on Jun 24, 2015 18:07:28 GMT -5
I picked other because DS1 is but I'm not sure about DS2. In leaning towards no (I felt sooo bad about DS1) after the fact. I hadn't really done any research and DH used the "like father like son" argument. I plan to do more research before making a final decision this time.
We circ'ed DS1 and will circ DS2. Ultimately I think there are pros and cons to either side and no one should GAF what anyone else does. But that's my stance on many parenting decisions.
I don't care much what others do on this one. I don't think that's necessarily clear from my post, which I intended to explain why we're struggling with the decision.
But if you raise your kid to like Caillou on purpose, I will judge. I will judge SO HARDCORE.
Why does the status of your son's foreskin have to be something you discuss with your mom?
I'm not talking about a long discussion, but she will notice - and my mom will ask and give her opinion. That's just her personality.
As an example, she didn't breastfeed me or my brothers - so, she doesn't think anyone (meaning me) should go through the trouble. I plan to try to breastfeed, and she just doesn't see the point. It's not a discussion so much as dealing with her negative comments/attitude. I kinda think she sees any child-rearing decision that's contrary to what she did as a criticism of her parenting.
Wow...are you and I long lost sisters? Because you have described my mother to a T. Sorry for her negativity.
My H is not circumcised and feels very strongly that he would not want his son to be. At first I was really worried about infections and such, and I honestly thought every guy got circumcised prior being exposed (ha) to my H, so I was pushing more for circumcision. Now that I've looked into it a little more myself, I think we'll leave everything as is if this baby is a boy.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jun 24, 2015 19:39:57 GMT -5
We discussed this again on the way home thanks to this thread. Barring a specific medical necessity, we will not be circumcising newbie. We are on the same page and reached agreement.
I feel relieved to have made this decision, and feel like it is right for us. I am not judging others who reach a different conclusion to be clear.
DH and I did not agree on whether to circumcise DS. It was a difficult, ugly argument that recurred over the course of a month. He was pro, I was anti, and there was absolutely no compromising on it. Ultimately I agreed to let DS be circumcised. A lot of the arguments I had in support of my position were undermined when my uncircumcised brother opined that it did not matter either way and when my father expressed regret that he had not had my brother circumcised. Our pediatrician said it was not a big deal either way, and that the rates are about 50-50 where we live.
DS was circumcised in her office at two weeks. He received a local anesthetic, and the procedure was quick, healed extremely quickly, and he seemed more bothered by our breastfeeding/food situation than the circumcision. In hindsight, I so, so, so regret the argument with DH and if this baby is a boy will circumcise without any hesitation.
CircumcisionJun 24, 2015 21:38:37 GMT -5via mobile
Post by lormor on Jun 24, 2015 21:38:37 GMT -5
We would not. I had a circumcised boyfriend who still, in his 20s was very angry about being circumcised... Usual thing- his mother made an irreversible medical decision on his behalf etc. (She actually went behind his father's back and had it done.) My husband is uncircumcised and he is very fond of his foreskin. I used to think circumcised was "prettier" but now that my favourite penis is uncircumcised, I'm very happy with it.
My H is not circumcised and feels very strongly that he would not want his son to be. At first I was really worried about infections and such, and I honestly thought every guy got circumcised prior being exposed (ha) to my H, so I was pushing more for circumcision. Now that I've looked into it a little more myself, I think we'll leave everything as is if this baby is a boy.
I'm not talking about a long discussion, but she will notice - and my mom will ask and give her opinion. That's just her personality.
As an example, she didn't breastfeed me or my brothers - so, she doesn't think anyone (meaning me) should go through the trouble. I plan to try to breastfeed, and she just doesn't see the point. It's not a discussion so much as dealing with her negative comments/attitude. I kinda think she sees any child-rearing decision that's contrary to what she did as a criticism of her parenting.
Wow...are you and I long lost sisters? Because you have described my mother to a T. Sorry for her negativity.
Haha! I still love her - everyone has his or her flaws - it doesn't change how I live my life, and we still get along - I just know that she's insecure in some areas
Looks like that's about to change. I think this has been a very informative and rational discussion, with good points on both sides of the aisle. Very eye-opening, both ways, for me.
We are Team Green but have already set it up with my OB to have LO circumcised if it is a boy. We both just agreed that it is what we want to do, (no long discussion needed), and seems to be the social norm where we live.
Post by flippinchica on Jun 25, 2015 8:31:53 GMT -5
Ugh, I really need to have this discussion with dh since I'm 33 wks with a boy. My dad has expressed regret that he was circ'd as an infant and chose not to circ my brother. My h is circ'd. I would lean toward leaving this lo uncircumcised but if my h is adamant I will consider.
Post by ventotheessa on Jun 25, 2015 9:28:37 GMT -5
We are Team green and have only had a brief discussion about this. At this time we are on the fence and I would like to do more research about it before making any final decisions.
What we do know is that SO is circumcised and had to have it done as a teenager because of Phimosis. He said it was very painful and although he is not traumatized a part of him would not want his future son to have to go through this as a teenager if he so happened to have the same condition. With that being said, we are aware that just because SO had this issue it doesn't mean our future hypothetical son will, so more talk and research will be done before making a decision.
We circ'ed DS1 and will circ DS2. Ultimately I think there are pros and cons to either side and no one should GAF what anyone else does. But that's my stance on many parenting decisions.
Looks like that's about to change. I think this has been a very informative and rational discussion, with good points on both sides of the aisle. Very eye-opening, both ways, for me.
Agree, and I'm happy it didn't turn foul like It potentially would have back on TD. The culture here is very different. I'm glad this didn't turn into something different, as I enjoy reading both sides (especially already having two boys).
Post by britterrss on Jun 25, 2015 14:29:58 GMT -5
We are still early but have already had a 2 minute discussion about this. My vote is no because I am not sure it's medically relevant in 2015 America. However, MH has strong feelings of yes. He said that his father is not and has been ashamed of it his whole life (I've heard the surgery as an adult is MUCH worse, so I'm assuming that's why he hasn't had it done). So MH is afraid that if we didn't circ hypothetical baby boy, he'd be teased and embarrassed and possibly even angry with us. I feel like that's a little overboard... granted we do live in TX where the majority are circ'd, but we also live in the most liberal city in the south so there's bound to be lots more uncirc'd kids around.
Looks like that's about to change. I think this has been a very informative and rational discussion, with good points on both sides of the aisle. Very eye-opening, both ways, for me.
Agree, and I'm happy it didn't turn foul like It potentially would have back on TD. The culture here is very different. I'm glad this didn't turn into something different, as I enjoy reading both sides (especially already having two boys).
That's because everyone seems to have a well thought-out stance and is respectful. I can't tell you how many old threads on TD I read that were basically "ew, uncirc'd penises are ugly and smelly" followed by a few lone "you people are barbarians!"
We are still early but have already had a 2 minute discussion about this. My vote is no because I am not sure it's medically relevant in 2015 America. However, MH has strong feelings of yes. He said that his father is not and has been ashamed of it his whole life (I've heard the surgery as an adult is MUCH worse, so I'm assuming that's why he hasn't had it done). So MH is afraid that if we didn't circ hypothetical baby boy, he'd be teased and embarrassed and possibly even angry with us. I feel like that's a little overboard... granted we do live in TX where the majority are circ'd, but we also live in the most liberal city in the south so there's bound to be lots more uncirc'd kids around.
I'd guess that your FIL's experience with being uncirc'd and your hypothetical son's experience with it would be very different, given the generation gap and the various shifts that have occurred over time: e.g., schools don't require showers after P.E. anymore so kids aren't forced to be naked in the locker rooms with one another, and as PPs mentioned, the rates for circumcising or leaving intact have been fairly equal in recent years. Just something to consider if you find out you're having a boy and it becomes a relevant issue for you.
I'm late to the discussion. I think this is a personal decision to each family. I'm okay with anyone's decision as long as it's because they think it is best not because of aesthetics. On that note, DH and DS are and this one will be too.
We circ'ed DS1 and will circ DS2. Ultimately I think there are pros and cons to either side and no one should GAF what anyone else does. But that's my stance on many parenting decisions.
Agree, and I'm happy it didn't turn foul like It potentially would have back on TD. The culture here is very different. I'm glad this didn't turn into something different, as I enjoy reading both sides (especially already having two boys).
That's because everyone seems to have a well thought-out stance and is respectful. I can't tell you how many old threads on TD I read that were basically "ew, uncirc'd penises are ugly and smelly" followed by a few lone "you people are barbarians!"
My point was saying "I've never seen this end well" (or whatever since I used quotes) is akin to posting one of those popcorn eating gifs. And seemed wildly out of place. Because as far as I've seen, everyone's been more than respectful and open to discussion on both sides in this thread and in any other where "hot button" things were being discussed.
My point was saying "I've never seen this end well" (or whatever since I used quotes) is akin to posting one of those popcorn eating gifs. And seemed wildly out of place. Because as far as I've seen, everyone's been more than respectful and open to discussion on both sides in this thread and in any other where "hot button" things were being discussed.
I guess I meant it more as a 'I am surprised how respectful this is, and have never seen it go this way. I'm a little worried that it could turn.' instead of "BOY GEE, SURE HOPE IT TURNS DRAMATIC."
My point was saying "I've never seen this end well" (or whatever since I used quotes) is akin to posting one of those popcorn eating gifs. And seemed wildly out of place. Because as far as I've seen, everyone's been more than respectful and open to discussion on both sides in this thread and in any other where "hot button" things were being discussed.
I guess I meant it more as a 'I am surprised how respectful this is, and have never seen it go this way. I'm a little worried that it could turn.' instead of "BOY GEE, SURE HOPE IT TURNS DRAMATIC."
I can see how it could be taken the other way.
Yes I took it the other way. I get what you're saying now.
For those of you who already have boys or are currently pregnant with one, did/will you be having them circumcised?
I had not really put much thought into it until I mentioned it to my husband today. I guess I just assumed it was the normal thing to be done but my husband isn't sold on the idea. Anyone have any knowledge to share either for or against doing it.
It's quite likely that the boy's issues were the result of improper handling by the moron nurse who attempted to retract his foreskin. The vast majority of the time the penis is a self cleaning organ much like a vagina is at that age and best left alone.
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