Kidisms

[tjr42px]

So my son got some flash cards for his birthday. They have letters/sounds on one side like a short A or long A and Ch, etc. with 5 words that begin with that letter/sound. The other side has a picture showing some of the words. So like CH might have a chimp standing on a chair playing chimes or something.

DW: Little buddy this one is a G. Where do you go exercise?
LB: the garage! (He was so excited. He finally knew an answer)
DW: yes yes you and Daddy workout in the garage. And garage does start with a G. Have you heard of a gym?
LB: what's a gym?

I should say these cards are way advanced for him, but he is dead set on getting smarter so he can get ABC mouse. He's a walking advertisement. "ABC mouse. You can get it for your phone, tablet, or home computer." Lol!

------

LB: Can we color?
ME: Sure Little Buddy, where are your crayons?
LB: In my dog.
Me: ::quizzical look:: your dog? What dog?
LB: in my dog, like he ate them and will poop the colors out later.

I couldn't ever remind him to put his crayons away or the dogs will eat them. I was laughing so hard. Because, yes they are in your dog. He said it so matter of fact like it's obvious they would be in the dog. And I was like...when the hell did we get a dog shaped container?

[tjr42px]

Oh and he developed a fear of the pool. I asked what happened. He said he'll just wait until he's older before going in again.

Me: how old do you think you'll be when you try again?
LB: 60... Or 4
Me: how old are you?
LB: ::holds up four fingers::
Me: how many is that?
LB: one, two, three, four. ::cue look of panic, then a wry smile as if to say "shit you got me!"

[eddiegotsole]

Jun 25, 2015 13:37:26 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Oh and he developed a fear of the pool. I asked what happened. He said he'll just wait until he's older before going in again.

Me: how old do you think you'll be when you try again?
LB: 60... Or 4
Me: how old are you?
LB: ::holds up four fingers::
Me: how many is that?
LB: one, two, three, four. ::cue look of panic, then a wry smile as if to say "shit you got me!"

That's funny!  Brother in law was in town this weekend with my nephew who is about 15 months.  DS was so in awe of him and what he is able to do at that age, mainly the walking and jumping.  DS decided to lead a group including his cousin and our friends 2 year old in bench drumming. 

DS: (Lets out an excited yell and starts banging / drumming on the bench)
Nephew: Drumming along with him and laughing.
2 year old: Drumming on the end of the bench.

This went on for a little while!  Lots of laughing from all of the kids.

[tjr42px]

LO: Are we going home now?

ME: No we have one more store to go to.

LO: Which one?

ME: The liquor store

LO: Is that the place you lick stuff?

[tjr42px]

Dad? Dad?!? When are we going to get some whores?

Wait!?! What?

You know whores, like Sparky...

Oh you mean horses. ::sighs in relief::

[tjr42px]

Me: What did you say?
LB: Oh my fricken God!?!
DW: LB why did you say that? (Meaning don't say it, you know this!")
LB: Because I was trying to get the green slime over so that it would go in the thing to give the alligator a shower but it just burned him."
...
DW: yes you used it correctly, but please don't.

[tjr42px]

DW showed me this, this morning.

She then asked me if I knew how to say I love you in German?
Without skipping a beat (or looking up from his game) LB said "I do. I.Love.You.In.German."

Lol! I was dying.

[JukEboXtheTanK]

Aug 18, 2015 18:52:27 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Dad? Dad?!? When are we going to get some whores?

Wait!?! What?

You know whores, like Sparky...

Oh you mean horses. ::sighs in relief::

LOL that is funny. My boss takes his 4 year old to the liquor store and when she is there she gets a lollipop. His baby sitter called him one day and said that his daughter asked to go to the lollipop store. LOL He had to do a little explaining. I got a good laugh out if it.

[tjr42px]

Just came inside from pitching to the little guy. He nailed the last ball and it soared over my head.

"Dad, Dad I got the whole rums! Whole runs are awesome," he exclaimed with all the excitement he could muster. I was proud of him and also instantly thought he would fit in nicely with my wife and the ladies of Parenting in their drinking thread.

[tjr42px]

Dad I want to play rock, paper, scissors. I'll be rock, you be scissors.

Maybe this game should be renamed "I win, dad's a sucker."

[tjr42px]

DS1 still refers to the participants of a contest as "winners" and "boozers". The other day he was giving W a hard time and finally she had it and said something like "fine, you win." He then proceeded to tell me "mommy said she wants to be the boozer!"

Yes my little buddy, I'm sure mommy could use a drink right now. Lol!

[tjr42px]

So little buddy has no concept of time...he is trying to con me into watch another episode of Miles before bed last night. I'm telling him we don't have time it's almost night nights and he very seriously says "but dad it's a short one like only 1...no 2 hours."

And tonight I put some aquaphor around his mouth. He's always liking his face and itgets crazy chapped. He says "dad, mom already did that later." It's too hilarious to correct him half the time because he's so intense when he says it.

[eddiegotsole]

At this point DS is confidently opening and closing doors using door knobs and handles is a piece of cake. When we don't want him to get into a room we lock it from the inside, close it from the outside and use "that little stick thingie) to unlock it. Well, DW calls me yesterday to tell me that DS found his own "little stick thingie" and she caught him trying to unlock one of the doors with it... Not sure if I'm a proud dad, or just plain frightened!

[tjr42px]

Jan 8, 2016 13:29:57 GMT -5 eddiegotsole said:

At this point DS is confidently opening and closing doors using door knobs and handles is a piece of cake. When we don't want him to get into a room we lock it from the inside, close it from the outside and use "that little stick thingie) to unlock it. Well, DW calls me yesterday to tell me that DS found his own "little stick thingie" and she caught him trying to unlock one of the doors with it... Not sure if I'm a proud dad, or just plain frightened!

That's terrifying. I say be both. Proud will maybe lessen the terror. That's pretty awesome though. Smart kid.

[tjr42px]

I'm playing outside with DS1 today and a snowball fight ensues. That turns into:
DS: Daddy let's build a fort
Me: Ok buddy
DS: I'll dig a hole and you build the fort.
Me: ok, what do you want the fort to look like?
DS: (thinks insanely hard) well I guess, maybe, you know, like how a fort looks.
Me: (scratches head) huh?

[tjr42px]

And the crazy logic continues:
Me: You need to clean up the play room if you want to go to your friends birthday party.
DS: I can't my legs are tired and I'm just too sleepy to clean up.
Me: Sounds like you are too tired to go to the party.
DS: No I want to go.
Me: Then you aren't too tired to pick up.
DS: But I just used up all my energy getting my toys out and playing with them.

...
I did talk him into racing me to see who could clean the most toys the fasted. Then he stops and says

DS: Dad I got a great idea. How about you clean up this part :: points to 3/4 of the room with toys everywhere :: then I'll clean this part :: points to the 1/4 of the room I just cleaned:: and the winner gets a prize!

Wait what?!? Lol!

[tjr42px]

DS1 was looking for my phone and put his hand in the pocket of my fleece pants and said "oh that feels nice!" My wife and I exchange looks and started dying. You know because we are like 12.

[tjr42px]

They can be so adorable...Daddy, DS2 and I are having a party. You want to come?

Sure, buddy, what are we celebrating?

Umm, love and family and um :: walks over and hugs me :: and hugs. And playing with toys!

[tjr42px]

Apparently DS is s huge "Michael Bluejay (Buble')" fan. Because, well "he's a bluejay and I like them."

Lol.

[tjr42px]

I was making sugar cookie dough with DS last night so he and MW had cold dough this morning to roll them out. He was doing great counting out scoops of this and cups of that. He did manage to dump a good few cups on the counter but that's part of the fun. His favorite part of baking (other than eating the final product) is cracking the eggs. I have him crack them in a bowl one at a time so I can fish out the shell before putting in the mixing bowl. So he's got this down and started cracking sooner than I would have liked. He cracked the egg and his stool wasn't pushed forward enough and the egg was all over the floor.

I heard, crack, splat, "Shit!"

<===FOTY

[tjr42px]

The cookies turned out great. We decorated after work yesterday.

[tjr42px]

DS wanted to do a "project" so he decided on a valentine for mommy using stickers of things mommy likes.

DS: Do we have any wine stickers?

Lol!

[tjr42px]

So DS is really into "so you pretend..." As in you pretend that when I say this you say that. Basically inviting me into pretend play.

"Dad, pretend not either of us got any sleep last night"

That's half right buddy. No pretending here.

[tjr42px]

DS1 has started "eeny, meeny, miney, mo-ing." Only when he gets to the end he picked whatever he wants with that final "mo." Lol! Nice try kid.

[JukEboXtheTanK]

Jun 19, 2016 3:08:29 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

DS1 has started "eeny, meeny, miney, mo-ing." Only when he gets to the end he picked whatever he wants with that final "mo." Lol! Nice try kid.

Eeny mo!? lol

[tjr42px]

So we are headed to my nephews football game and my wife says "cool if my dad drives, my mom can sit up front then because her butt hurts". I start laughing, but because of something else and DW says "it's her sciatica, did you think my parents were doing some butt stuff?" I'm dying now because that's the second to last thing I want to think about (my patents being the last). Then DS shouts:

What kind of butt stuff are nana and papa doing!?! Lol! 😂. DW and I just lost it. Such adolescents.

[tjr42px]

While listening to the Frozen soundtrack

Niece: Uncle TJ, who is the white boy in Frozen?

Me: Ummm...Olaf?

[tjr42px]

DS2 was using a chair to climb on stuff yesterday. He tried to get on top of the tv stand so I pulled the legs off the tyke chair. This morning he had three of four reassembled. Then said "TJ need help!" Not daddy, but my first name lol! Then I help him and started to walk away. He said "TJ, up high!" And held his little paw out to give me five. Lol. Haha. Crazy kid.

[tjr42px]

DS: Why don't we celebrate Hanukkah?
W: We aren't Jewish.
DS: what's that?
W: Well, people believe in different things and ...
DS: I believe in everything. Well, except for people who say that dinosaurs weren't real, because they are.

Lol!

[tjr42px]

Today at breakfast

DS1 is in a lucky charms phase and is always asking about the shapes of marshmallows. This morning he tells me he thinks the orange and white ones are "shooting stars" because the orange looks like a star and the white is the sky. Seriously man, I've been telling you that every morning for two weeks and you always tell me I'm wrong. Glad "you" thought of it...