mathistm I experienced heart palpitations before pregnancy- been thoroughly checked out. My palps went away during pregnancy, something to do with the increased volume in blood. About three weeks pp, I experienced annoying palps again. I attributed it to anxiety, exhaustion and not having enough water. They are becoming less frequent now that I am walking more, getting more rest and eating better. I have always been told by my doctors that while annoying, palps are normal, as long as you are not having chest pain and shortness of breath with them.
baileybaileybne sorry to hear about the infection, hope you are on the road to recovery soon.
So I'm having a hard time emotionally with BF...I'm stoked that he's gaining weight etc and its great its going better, it really has spurred me on. But it still gives me massive anxiety (I knew the pre-baby anxiety would be along soon to kick my ass), I still can't enjoy it and I still dread feeds. Even 2 nurses telling me its going great doesn't register in my brain and I bawl at least once a day when he fusses panicking he's not getting enough. My problem is I feel so pressured to do it and its making it worse. DH is great at cheering me on but I don't think realizes how much pressure he puts on with passive agressive comments about not FF, "I'm glad my son is being fed naturally" etc which piss me off hugely. In the beginning i tried to talk to him about formula but now its 'going so well' he doesnt see any legitimate reason I would even consider not BF and gets annoyed at my paranoia. And ok, i get that - I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet, but the more pressure that's put on, the more trapped and resentful of BF I feel. Does that make sense? Maybe not, I'm probably just losing my mind!
It makes complete sense! I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that anxiety and pressure. I was love/ hate with BF for a couple of weeks. Like you, it was going really well and LO was gaining weight perfectly. Many times when he would cry though, I was just thinking "here we go again." It felt like a never-ending cycle of feeding him and feeling solely responsible for the task was overwhelming. It crossed my mind several times that formula would just be so much easier and then DH could help more. Like you said though, it's really hard to justify when things are going well. Anyway, we're three weeks in today and I'm finally starting to enjoy it, but it will be interesting to see what the next growth spurt/ mood swing brings. I would definitely try to explain your feelings again to your H, especially with a history of anxiety. I'm sure he doesn't intend to make you feel pressured.
baileybaileybne sorry to hear about the infection, hope you are on the road to recovery soon.
So I'm having a hard time emotionally with BF...I'm stoked that he's gaining weight etc and its great its going better, it really has spurred me on. But it still gives me massive anxiety (I knew the pre-baby anxiety would be along soon to kick my ass), I still can't enjoy it and I still dread feeds. Even 2 nurses telling me its going great doesn't register in my brain and I bawl at least once a day when he fusses panicking he's not getting enough. My problem is I feel so pressured to do it and its making it worse. DH is great at cheering me on but I don't think realizes how much pressure he puts on with passive agressive comments about not FF, "I'm glad my son is being fed naturally" etc which piss me off hugely. In the beginning i tried to talk to him about formula but now its 'going so well' he doesnt see any legitimate reason I would even consider not BF and gets annoyed at my paranoia. And ok, i get that - I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet, but the more pressure that's put on, the more trapped and resentful of BF I feel. Does that make sense? Maybe not, I'm probably just losing my mind!
It makes complete sense! I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that anxiety and pressure. I was love/ hate with BF for a couple of weeks. Like you, it was going really well and LO was gaining weight perfectly. Many times when he would cry though, I was just thinking "here we go again." It felt like a never-ending cycle of feeding him and feeling solely responsible for the task was overwhelming. It crossed my mind several times that formula would just be so much easier and then DH could help more. Like you said though, it's really hard to justify when things are going well. Anyway, we're three weeks in today and I'm finally starting to enjoy it, but it will be interesting to see what the next growth spurt/ mood swing brings. I would definitely try to explain your feelings again to your H, especially with a history of anxiety. I'm sure he doesn't intend to make you feel pressured.
I had a lot of these feelings after DS1 was born. Definitely mention the anxiety to your pediatrician or OB. Mine was an indicator of a larger PPA issue and I saw a counselor who helped me accept that it was ok that I didn't know everything to the last drop of breast milk.
I certainly had feelings of resentment towards H too bc it seemed like he could go off and do whatever he wanted, while my life and whole schedule was tethered to this eating/sleeping/pooping machine. That last part was a very difficult adjustment for me. I fought internally with wanting to do what I wanted, but having to do what DS1 needed me to do.
also, I'm on team feed the babies. If formula vs bfing makes you less anxious, and therefore a happier mom, then go for it.
Maybe it's the hormones, but I am so incredibly thankful for this support. I never really imagined how difficult being a mommy is. I'm looking forward to being a little more active now that I am getting the hang of things with smidge. Thank you to all who responded to my questions in the past 3 days-the delirium is making me forgetful of who answered what but thank you! The biggest thing for me has been to keep reminding myself that it is all temporary--I have found that a few hours even sometimes make an incredible amount of difference. Just a shout out to all of you fine ladies-we are doing it!
Anyone else deal with heart palpitations at all? I googled it which was a bad idea. I'm only 2 days out and my vitals were all fine the whole time I was in the hospital. I'm thinking maybe anxiety and hormones. Scares the shit out of me though-I find myself thinking of all of the things they told me can go wrong after labor b
I've had them before during periods of extreme stress, and just had them while I was in the hospital. Usually nothing, but worth mentioning to your doctor.
And baileybaileybne sorry about you! I bet they will take great care of you and you'll be sorted soon. Hugs.
Thanks txngrl31 once I got some sleep and food and got over not having to check on baby girl so much I have been feeling a lot less jittery. I did call the on call nurse-she read my delivery notes and was like you just need to rest, your body has been through a lot. As long as not accompanied by lightheadedness or a constant headache we are a-okay.
I have been super out of the loop as of late, but I really do enjoy seeing that I'm not alone in this...
I just got back from the pediatrician because I thought that maybe baby has reflux due to some symptoms I noticed. The doctor didn't think it's reflux, but have us a zantac prescription just to see if it helps. I just wish there was a solveable reason for all this fussiness and lack of sleep...
I can't decide if I am going to fill the zantac prescription or not, since the doctor doesn't actually think it's reflux, I don't want to just give her medicine for the sake of giving it to her... Ugh, it's all so much...
What's going on? Maybe I can help? Breastfed or formula fed?
She is breastfed. She's just very fussy and doesn't sleep much, so I think I was hoping there was some fixable reason for it...
I think I have a fussy baby too. She sleeps a lot though. But when she is awake and alert she is either crying or red faced trying to pass gas or poop? Not sure. She settles and is super happy if she is in the baby carrier or swaddled.
baileybaileybne sorry to hear about the infection, hope you are on the road to recovery soon.
So I'm having a hard time emotionally with BF...I'm stoked that he's gaining weight etc and its great its going better, it really has spurred me on. But it still gives me massive anxiety (I knew the pre-baby anxiety would be along soon to kick my ass), I still can't enjoy it and I still dread feeds. Even 2 nurses telling me its going great doesn't register in my brain and I bawl at least once a day when he fusses panicking he's not getting enough. My problem is I feel so pressured to do it and its making it worse. DH is great at cheering me on but I don't think realizes how much pressure he puts on with passive agressive comments about not FF, "I'm glad my son is being fed naturally" etc which piss me off hugely. In the beginning i tried to talk to him about formula but now its 'going so well' he doesnt see any legitimate reason I would even consider not BF and gets annoyed at my paranoia. And ok, i get that - I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet, but the more pressure that's put on, the more trapped and resentful of BF I feel. Does that make sense? Maybe not, I'm probably just losing my mind!
Can you go to a nursing mother's group for in person support? A weighted feeding or two can also be soooo reassuring--they weigh baby, then your nurse and then reweigh baby and that can let you know how much milk baby has gotten at the breast. It can be very helpful to see those numbers so you can relax a bit.
You may do well to have a baby app that tracks number of feeds and number of diapers. You can know that if stuff is coming out and making dirty diapers, then there is stuff going in. you want to see at least 6-8 wet and or poopy diapers a day.
As to the push to breastfeed and the anxiety, set very small short term attainable goals, and when you reach your goal, reevaluate how you feel and is it working still and decide on your next step.
right now it seems so huge, to think you will nurse for a year and not know how much milk baby is getting and all that can be overwhelming.
So like set a goal of nursing for a week and reevaluating. Hint make it so that the end of your goal time period doesn't fall at 1 week, 3 weeks or 6 weeks growth spurt, cause nursing becomes more intense at those points and you may be extra frustrated for a few days.
When you hit your goal time, think it thru. Is it becoming any easier? Can you see or measure weight gain for reassurance? Is anxiety any better or not? Then you may need to talk to dr and get anti-anxiety meds, many are ok with breastfeeding.
And/Or you may need to tell dh that you are going to give one bottle of formula a day (and not pump) because you just need a break. Maybe that you wish him to give it in the middle of the night or when he first gets home from work so you can go take a shower or go out for an hour without baby to gain some persepective. Then if that works for you, see how you feel after a week. if that makes anxiety worse, then stop it.
It doesn't have to be ALL or nothing if you just can't handle exclusively breastfeeding. Ideally you'd wait another week or two to let the worst of hormone fluctuations to settle down and see if anxiety decreases with hormones stabilizing, and wait til breastfeeding is more established, but that doesn't mean you have to wait if you aren't dealing well. k?
Also keep in mind that even if you were formula feeding, it is likely that the new mom anxiety would be the same or similar. The worries then become more visual, is this formula making them cranky, gassy, fussy, are they taking in enough or too little, is the bottle working for them, do they need a faster flow nipple, etc. Taking care of newborns is frazzled mom producing. So cut yourself some slack and a lot of this is normal and sucky.
What's going on? Maybe I can help? Breastfed or formula fed?
She is breastfed. She's just very fussy and doesn't sleep much, so I think I was hoping there was some fixable reason for it...
Well fussy and not wanting to sleep doesn't necessarily have an answer for newborns.....sorry
Is weight gain fine, higher or lower than the usual 4-7 oz a week, 1/2-1 oz a day?
Lots of spit up?
Gulping at the breast and if you pull off does milk spray out maybe?
Feeding on both sides at every feeding or just one side?
Is baby in a growth spurt time period? common at 1 week, 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months. They tend to be fussier, less satisfied at the breast, want to nurse all the time, etc. they are working to empty the breast and keep it empty to signal a higher supply.
I think I have a fussy baby too. She sleeps a lot though. But when she is awake and alert she is either crying or red faced trying to pass gas or poop? Not sure. She settles and is super happy if she is in the baby carrier or swaddled.
What are the symptoms you are dealing with?
She doesn't often fall asleep while Nursing, so if she doesn't I can pretty much guarantee that she won't fall asleep until maybe her next feeding, which is usually about every two hours. She does like the ergo a lot, but needs movement to fall asleep, which gets tiring. She is okay being swaddled, but we only do that at night and it hasn't fool proof to get her down. It also doesn't help it has been exceptionally hot for the northwest lately and we don't have a/c.
She is breastfed. She's just very fussy and doesn't sleep much, so I think I was hoping there was some fixable reason for it...
Well fussy and not wanting to sleep doesn't necessarily have an answer for newborns.....sorry
Is weight gain fine, higher or lower than the usual 4-7 oz a week, 1/2-1 oz a day?
Lots of spit up?
Gulping at the breast and if you pull off does milk spray out maybe?
Feeding on both sides at every feeding or just one side?
Is baby in a growth spurt time period? common at 1 week, 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 3 months. They tend to be fussier, less satisfied at the breast, want to nurse all the time, etc. they are working to empty the breast and keep it empty to signal a higher supply.
Sorry I have to keep quoting everyone, I don't know how to tag on mobile.
I think her weight gain is good, possibly a little more than 7oz per week since regaining her birth weight. Not tons of spit up, just occasionally. She usually feeds both sides, but I have a hard time knowing when she is finished. She will be 3 weeks tomorrow, but this is an on going problem.
Maybe it's the hormones, but I am so incredibly thankful for this support. I never really imagined how difficult being a mommy is. I'm looking forward to being a little more active now that I am getting the hang of things with smidge. Thank you to all who responded to my questions in the past 3 days-the delirium is making me forgetful of who answered what but thank you! The biggest thing for me has been to keep reminding myself that it is all temporary--I have found that a few hours even sometimes make an incredible amount of difference. Just a shout out to all of you fine ladies-we are doing it!
"Today is not forever" was totally my motto. Especially the first two weeks! It's so wonderful to be through what I believe are the hardest weeks and actually want time to slow down so I can enjoy DB before he gets any bigger!
This group is so helpful. I'm also super thankful to have it!
Joolschweets thinking of you! You're in a really tough spot but remember to take care of yourself! If you're anxious and stressed, you won't be able to enjoy baby to the fullest. As a formula mom, I'm totally on team get baby fed. If you're happier and healthier using formula, do it! What's good for you is good for baby. Hugs to you!
txngrl31, DH is easing back into work this week by taking meetings each day. He goes back full time (in the office) on Monday. I'm already dreading it and so is he. We've been spoiled having him here for so long...now I'm like "OMG I have to take all the night feedings! I have to keep the house clean myself. I have to be alone all day." I'm LOVING being a stay at home mom (I totally wasn't expecting to stay home or to be happy about it) but I know I'm going to have to get out every day to retain my sanity. Luckily baby girl loves walks! My pediatrician has me all scared to take her out in public before 8 weeks. DH and I took her to Carter's and the grocery store yesterday, and I was freaking out the whole time...germs!!! I'm prob just a paranoid FTM.
mathistm, yep, anxiety and lack of sleep will do it! I've been drinking a cup of coffee and that also give me palps these days. I guess my body isn't used to the caffeine yet.
mcp6286, like others, I've been trying to get out once a day. It does wonders for the mood! Our pedi scared us in to taking her to public places too. So far, besides the pedi, she has gone to a restaurant three times where we say outside. She has also been in the grocery store with me. I have one of those car seat canopies that keep over her so that no one is breathing or coughing/ sneezing in her.
Post by billyhorrible on Jun 30, 2015 20:20:16 GMT -5
@kej0004, unless there's a medical reason you should avoid pumping at all costs, it will just set yourself up for trouble (and infection).
To get her to latch you may want to flatten your breast at the nipple like it was a hamburger (one hand on each side) and offer it that way - this avoids the difficulty of latching onto a round beachball.
If you need to relieve the engorgement, try manually (in a warm shower with the water running on your breasts is the best bet.)
I didn't see a tmi thread this week so I thought this would be the best place to put this-sorry if it's been covered. I would know if I tore perineal stitches right? I had a second degree tear but the dr never said how many stitched he put in etc. I've tried looking with a hand mirror and I can't see anything? I've been feeling fine but today have had a bit of discomfort along the lines of stinging. Anyone else experience the stinging? I'm 5 days pp.
mathistm I've had stinging/discomfort since day 2, but it's the same feeling I used to get when a cut would heal. It can be super annoying - ice has helped! I'm 11 days out and it's feeling much better!
ETA: they didn't tell me anything about my stitches either - I know I have them but not much else. I would def call your dr if you're worried (I keep meaning to email mine to get more info than "you got stitches" )
My milk came in today about noon (I was not prepared for how easy it leaks out...) and baby girl decided she no longer wants to latch. We've gotten 2 20-30 min feedings in (one on each side) since then (so over about 8 hours). My boobs are hard as rocks and really sore already. Should I go ahead and start pumping? Does she eventually get used to it and latch better?
Just keep being persistent about getting her to latch. Try different nursing positions as well. For us football hold worked or holding her in a sitting position facing the boob and uphill from it so the flow of milk isn't too overwhelming. It's a really good sign that you got her to latch already initially before your milk came in. My LO did this too for the first few days that my milk came in and I was in a panic. If the latch is still a problem tomorrow you need to go to a LC tomorrow to correct it since she needs to be feeding more then 2 feedings in 8 hours if she was just born @amyg
I'm not totally sure where to ask this, but it kind of makes sense to go here. For those of you that have left LO with a babysitter - is it something you felt "ready" for? One of the nurses at the hospital told us we needed to do a date night when he got to be two weeks old. We definitely skipped that because I wasn't even close to ready. I almost cried leaving him in the car with my mom while I grabbed one thing from the grocery store. I'm just wondering if you all think this is something you're ever "ready" for or do I need to just rip the band aid off and do it?
dogmama22 other than daycare we have hardly even left our older 2 with babysitters. We don't live near family and if we did it may be different, because I would feel more comfortable leaving them with family. We pretty much have one friend who offers to come watch them and who we trust, but that's not very often. We've left them with a babysitter who we paid once, and that was just last year.
I'm not totally sure where to ask this, but it kind of makes sense to go here. For those of you that have left LO with a babysitter - is it something you felt "ready" for? One of the nurses at the hospital told us we needed to do a date night when he got to be two weeks old. We definitely skipped that because I wasn't even close to ready. I almost cried leaving him in the car with my mom while I grabbed one thing from the grocery store. I'm just wondering if you all think this is something you're ever "ready" for or do I need to just rip the band aid off and do it?
I agree with budders, 2 weeks seems really early for a FTM. We waited about 6 weeks with LBB and by then we were more comfortable with leaving him. Even still, for the first year we only left him with my mom.
I'm not sure what we'll do this time, as our current babysitter is my cousin and his girlfriend. They're great with LBB, but have no experience with infants or taking care of 2 kids.
Post by silv3rlining on Jul 3, 2015 8:05:48 GMT -5
dogmama22 with DS we went down the street for frozen yogurt and a walk when he was 2-3 weeks old and at home with my mom. We were only gone about an hour (it was our baby step for us). I don't know when I actually felt "ready." We did more of a band aid approach. Part of me wants to schedule a date with DH now but with nursing it's so hard to leave early on.
My milk came in today about noon (I was not prepared for how easy it leaks out...) and baby girl decided she no longer wants to latch. We've gotten 2 20-30 min feedings in (one on each side) since then (so over about 8 hours). My boobs are hard as rocks and really sore already. Should I go ahead and start pumping? Does she eventually get used to it and latch better?
Just keep being persistent about getting her to latch. Try different nursing positions as well. For us football hold worked or holding her in a sitting position facing the boob and uphill from it so the flow of milk isn't too overwhelming. It's a really good sign that you got her to latch already initially before your milk came in. My LO did this too for the first few days that my milk came in and I was in a panic. If the latch is still a problem tomorrow you need to go to a LC tomorrow to correct it since she needs to be feeding more then 2 feedings in 8 hours if she was just born @amyg
I think other advice for similar situations has been to express some milk manually or with a pump first, so DB can latch easier and the flow will be slower. And yes, try different positions.
Also, wake and try to feed DB! You don't want them losing too much weight in the first couple days and then having to debate supplementing, etc. especially since you already have your milk. If you get her eating more often your engorgement should go down too.
I'm not totally sure where to ask this, but it kind of makes sense to go here. For those of you that have left LO with a babysitter - is it something you felt "ready" for? One of the nurses at the hospital told us we needed to do a date night when he got to be two weeks old. We definitely skipped that because I wasn't even close to ready. I almost cried leaving him in the car with my mom while I grabbed one thing from the grocery store. I'm just wondering if you all think this is something you're ever "ready" for or do I need to just rip the band aid off and do it?
I have gone out twice without DB, but my DH was with him. Once for about 2 hours (I got a drink with a friend after losing my mind in the house all day) and once for 3 hours (went to a movie with my sister).
I think it would be much harder to leave him with someone other than DH, because I know he is on the same page with comforting techniques and have seen him give a bottle.
Maybe closer to two months we will try a date. For now we snuggle up together at night after DB goes to sleep.
I'm not totally sure where to ask this, but it kind of makes sense to go here. For those of you that have left LO with a babysitter - is it something you felt "ready" for? One of the nurses at the hospital told us we needed to do a date night when he got to be two weeks old. We definitely skipped that because I wasn't even close to ready. I almost cried leaving him in the car with my mom while I grabbed one thing from the grocery store. I'm just wondering if you all think this is something you're ever "ready" for or do I need to just rip the band aid off and do it?
DD1 was 4 months before I spent more than an hour away from her. 2 weeks seems pretty early, I don't blame you for not being ready! I'd rather go to bed than go on a date right now....
I left LO to go to the grocery store with H 6 days PP (she was with grandma) and I almost cried in the damn store because I missed her so much. We weren't gone more than an hour, and it was just rough.
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