Parenting Check-in June 29

[karlamo]

Good Morning!

How was everyone's week last week?  Anything new come up or any parenting struggles you care to share?

Welcome baby Leo and megd893 to the group!

Parenting
megd893
calsurb
andstilltrying
jazibel
kh826
karlamo
jgy
sherminator
mahler5
wittyandwaiting
kona
strings
mrsnorris
2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)
jennicole
amberreva

QOTW:  What does dinner prep and eating look like in your house? 
If you have an infant, you still eating all those casseroles with one hand? If you're chasing a toddler when was the last time you ate hot food? Older kids? Is it hard getting everyone to sit down at the same time for dinner?

I ask because we cook a lot from scratch due to R's food allergies and it is sooo hard getting meals cooked in our house.  I wonder how you all divide up the cooking and meal planning.

[Stringy]

My kid never stops talking. And singing. And talking to herself. And singing to her "babies." Don't wish your kids would start stringing words together into sentences..cuz it will never stop. Yesterday we were wishing we had one of those taxicab divider things in the car.

Otherwise she is awesome. Oh. she is just over 2.

Hey jgy - where ya been? Does G ever stop talking??

[kh826]

William will be 13 months this Saturday.

We had a pretty good weekend. It was low-key for the most part, which was soooo needed. On Saturday, William and I ran some errands in the AM and J stayed home and took a long relaxing shower and puttered around for a bit. I sensed she needed a little alone time, and she agreed. When we got home, I cooked a meal that we took to our friends. The college professor who's class J and I met in, and that professor then officiated our wedding, we have tried to stay close with her and her family over the years. She (the professor) had a knee replacement 10 days ago, so we went to visit and took them dinner. It was a really nice visit, and William loved playing with their 11 yr old son and their animals (I swear they get another cat and dog every time we see them!). On Sunday, we did grocery shopping in the AM, a little cleaning, laundry, etc. in early afternoon, hung out a bit and tried to just have some family play time and couch time while William played independently for a short while, and then we gave William what we call "a long play bath" in the late afternoon. He totally loves the bath tub, but during the week, bath time is always so rushed and it is all about getting him clean and getting him out and in PJs so we can have dinner. We try when we have time on the weekends to let him have at least one bath where he can play in the tub with his toys until he feels like getting out, our until Moms push it along a little, because honestly he never feels like getting out. Anyway, he loves it, and I have to believe it is relaxing for him to chill in the bubbles for a while also.

From a development/milestone perspective, here are a few highlights:
* He has started putting 2 words together more and more. Yesterday when we were leaving for the grocery store, I say goodbye to our dog Reese as we were headed out the door, and William waved at her and said "Bye Reeee" ... he calls her Reeee and drags out the "eee" sound at the end. It is super cute. When we came home from the store, the first thing he said was "Hi Reeee" so I know it was intentional. His other favorite 2 word combo right now, unfortunately, is "No Mama" ... oh goody!
* So we have successfully transitioned to 100% whole cow's milk (no more formula - yay!!!); however, we are struggling a bit with transitioning from the bottle to a sippy full time. J thinks he is just not ready and we should give him more time. I am not sure I agree. I think it might be hard whenever we do it, and we should just rip the bandaid off. He is currently still having a bottle of milk when he wakes up and a bottle of milk before bed. We only offer sippy cups (milk and water) throughout the day, and it is very hit or miss whether or not he will drink from them.
* He is taking up to 5 steps unassisted at a time now.
* When you ask him to point to his body parts, he will consistently point to his head, heart, toes, nose, and tummy when we ask. He also knows several animals and colors that he will consistently identify when asked.
* His new favorite song of the moment is the "Doe a Deer" song from Sound of Music. I sing it during diaper changes, and so far it seems to mesmerize him and get him to be still (or at least a little more still) while I am trying to change him.
* He is climbing on literally everything and has little to no fear. I worry he is going to be the kid with lumps and bumps and bruises all the time... ugh!

QOTW: I am the meal prepper and the cook in our house. I enjoy cooking, and honestly I am better at it. J has zero interest, and that is fine with me. Honestly, we only eat dinner as a family about 50% of the time. By the time I get home from work, J and I talk for a few minutes, we give William a bath, etc. it is often way too rushed for me to also cook and get dinner on the table before bed time. Plus, if I am cooking then I am also not spending time with William during the only time that I really get with him on week days. So we have identified 2-3 meals that are really easy and quick to prep and cook that I will make that we will all eat together, and on other nights, we will feed William and hang out with him at the table while he eats (and he will eat things we have prepped for him in the fridge -- left overs, noodles, carrots or green beans, a veggie burger, spinach nuggets, tuna fish and avocado, etc. and then some fruit). Then after William is in bed, I will cook something quick for J and I and we will eat together once the boy is asleep. Right now it works for us and it gives me more time with William on week nights and allows J and I to eat together and enjoy our meals. It means that we usually have a small snack when I get home to hold us over, and it means that we don't always eat the same thing as William, but a lot of times he will eat our left overs the next night.
The meal that we always eat all together though no matter what is Salmon, green beans & butternut squash. It is a favorite for everyone, and oven roasted salmon doesn't really taste great as a leftover. I think we are having that tonight!

[jgy]

Jun 29, 2015 8:38:15 GMT -5 Stringy said:

My kid never stops talking. And singing. And talking to herself. And singing to her "babies." Don't wish your kids would start stringing words together into sentences..cuz it will never stop. Yesterday we were wishing we had one of those taxicab divider things in the car.

Otherwise she is awesome.

Hey jgy - where ya been? Does G ever stop talking??

Hahaha NEVER.  Not for a minute to does he shut up.  Mostly, I love it.  But there are times when a little bit of quiet would be very welcomed.  It's to the point where he will lay (or, rather, roll around like crazy) in his crib for up to an hour at a time before he falls asleep.  He is talking/singing the ENTIRE time.  We want to keep the monitor on in case something happens and he truly needs us, but for the love kid, I also kinda want to hear the tv!!!

Oh yeah, and having a conversation between the two of us?  Forget it.  Car rides included. 

[amandflo]

Jun 29, 2015 9:05:30 GMT -5 jgy said:

Jun 29, 2015 8:38:15 GMT -5 Stringy said:

My kid never stops talking. And singing. And talking to herself. And singing to her "babies." Don't wish your kids would start stringing words together into sentences..cuz it will never stop. Yesterday we were wishing we had one of those taxicab divider things in the car.

Otherwise she is awesome.

Hey jgy - where ya been? Does G ever stop talking??

Hahaha NEVER.  Not for a minute to does he shut up.  Mostly, I love it.  But there are times when a little bit of quiet would be very welcomed.  It's to the point where he will lay (or, rather, roll around like crazy) in his crib for up to an hour at a time before he falls asleep.  He is talking/singing the ENTIRE time.  We want to keep the monitor on in case something happens and he truly needs us, but for the love kid, I also kinda want to hear the tv!!!

Oh yeah, and having a conversation between the two of us?  Forget it.  Car rides included. 

Daisy and Alice are the same, DW and I have completely given up on having adult conversation whilst they're around.

[jgy]

Welcome megd893!

G is 2 years plus a couple of months.

I've been a bit overwhelmed with life lately, so I've been posting kind of sporadically both here and in the Pregnancy thread and in another group where I participate. Sorry for the lack of consistency!

G is great, but OMG challenging. Nothing new there. He is such an active child, it can get really exhausting. But it's also incredibly fun. He's at a stage (not really a new stage, just intensified) where he challenges everything. We have had to employ the frequent use of time outs (ugh) except they're not a traditional "You sit there" type of a thing. We have to physically hold him in our laps in a quiet room, we have to hold on to his arms and hug him to our bodies while we talk through what he did and why we are there and what he'll do differently when time out is over. Then, and he started this all by himself, after the time out is over he will always go and tell the other Mama/Mommy that he got a time out and why. That part is really cute. What's not cute is him going back to the same behavior again. That happens about 25% of the time.

G can fully undress himself now, and can do about 80% of the getting dressed. This is awesome, but we'd really love to make some headway on potty training before it goes much further (so he doesn't just rip off his own dirty diaper and fling it). He just has no interest. He's becoming more and more aware of things, and immediately reports once he's gone (and lets us change his diaper more easily, which is nice), but still doesn't seem to recognize the urge to go. It would be frustrating if we were really actively working on it, but we're not. We'll see what happens with the addition of baby #2.

Speaking of #2, we're beginning to think about how we want to introduce the new little guy to G. I know some people give the first child a present "From the baby." I don't know how I feel about that. My parents did that with my Sister and she swears to this day that (even at the age of only 3) she thought that was really weird because she couldn't reconcile how I would have been able to pick it out for her if I only just got here. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears!

QOTW: We do mostly scratch cooking, and for a long period of time we needed to do almost all of it in advance. G would walk through the door after daycare and immediately yell "EEEEAAAAAAT!" So we had to be prepared. I would set a menu on Saturday, then grocery shop, and then fully cook as many of the 5 weekday dinners as I could on Sunday. If I could only get a few done, I'd spend Tuesday or Wednesday night cooking as well after G's bedtime. It was completely exhausting.

Now that it's summertime, G is obsessed with playing in the backyard after daycare so that gives us some time to work with before we eat. Also, S's hours are WAY better in the summer so she often gets home first and can get something cooked. We used to really struggle with not being able to eat together, but lately it's about 90% family dinner which I LOVE! Now, if I could just enact a ban on electronic devices during dinner time, things would be close to perfect there.

Have a great week, everyone!

[2brides]

Last week was a good week. On one hand, I can't believe this is only the 2nd week of camp and on another hand I feel like like summer is half over.

We hit two milestone (they come a lot less frequently once kids are older!) 1. The kids stayed home alone for about 15m this weekend while L took me to pick up my car from the mechanic. We've been talking a lot about it - starting to stay home for short periods of time - and they have been against it. LOL. But Saturday it was pouring rain and neither of them were interested in getting dressed and getting out - but I had to get my car before they closed - so it was the perfect trial period and it was fine. Of course, we aren't going to do long periods of time for quite a while, but it is nice to be able to run out and get gas or get an onion from the grocery store across the street from our house. The kids also started riding their bikes this weekend. We don't live in a great place for them to ride, but we've never really pushed it. But our friends just moved to a great street that is flat and at the end of a cul-de-sac. So, an optimal riding place + peer pressure from their friend who is also just learning created the perfect environment.

QOTD: We go out to eat too darn much. L is on a pretty restricted diet which makes preparing 1 thing at home for the entire family a bit of a challenge. L typically works late Tuesday/Thursday and I am typically late 1 night a week. So, most weeks we are all home 1x/week + Friday-Sunday. And by the time the kids get home from school/camp, they are starved and it is a mad rush to get food on the table. We do a lot of grilling in the summer - fast and easy clean up. Getting to kids to eat veggies is a challenge. They will eat green beans and peas. Gray will eat mashed cauliflower.

When we can get ourselves together on the weekend and solidify weeknight schedules, it works better. None of the "we don't have anything at home to eat! What are we eating!?"

This week it looks like this:
Monday - leftovers from the weekend
Tuesday - L is working late. I'll grill burgers for the kids and me
Wednesday - Basil tilapia (frozen from Costco) + asparagus/green beans
Thursday - grilled chicken (with ginger soy glaze on mine) + zucchini
Friday - out with friends

[amandflo]

Daisy is 5 and Alice is 3

The girls were both so excited today, it was crazy. It's their last week of school and nursery before the summer holiday and they have so much stuff going on. Today, Alice had a fancy dress party at nursery for the older kids who start school in August. She went as spiderman, and got so many complements on her costumes, she was so pleased. It was kind of weird dropping her off this morning, knowing that this time next year, she'll be the one starting school, it feels like we only picked her up a few days ago. Tomorrow, Daisy has a end of year party too, she spent all of Sunday afternoon picking out her outfit. I generally just let her wear whatever when she doesn't have to wear uniform, but I might have to tweak her choice for tomorrow, its pretty awful. DW stood in the corner of her room laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.

QOTW: We try and eat together as a family as often as we can, but we don't always manage it, and when the girls were little we very rarely managed it. I can only cook a handful of things, so it generally rests on Flora's shoulders to make the meals, and she doesn't get back from work until 6 normally, so if she makes something it takes a long time to make, she barely gets any time to spend with the girls. Occasionally, she'll send me a recipe and ask me to cook it whilst she's at work, but it doesn't happen very often.

[karlamo]

I love seeing all this back and forth on here! It's great!

R is 16 months.

I'm going to go out on a gender sterotype limb here at the risk of having my hand slapped. Lol. R does things that make me wonder if he were a girl would he do them. For example, he took our vaccum extenders and put the 2 pieces together and runs around the house like it's a sword. How does he come up with these things. There are other things too that he does that even my family laughs and says, "that's a boy for ya'". I wonder if girls without older brothers do this kind of stuff. Stringy?

He made his first ever attempt at climbing out of his crib. He's not tall enough to ge this leg up and over but he has the idea and will in his head. I'm hoping we can keep him in there for man more months before the toddler bed transition. I'm sure the universe will have him climbing out of bed at the same time Moka is born!

He is also a "talker" in his own way and now says thank you when you hand him something. Very polite little man we're raising.

QOTW: We do meal planning over the weekend and make our meals the night of. The times when we have made meals ahead of time, it made life so much eaiser. Right now, I get home from work, or am already home on my SAHM days, and I get dinner started while my wife picks up R. We do bedtime around 6:30-7, so meals have to be cooked and ate in 1 hour. It makes for a stressful night. One stragtey we do is we make any new/complicated recipes on the weekends and keep our mindless/easy ones for during the week. If we get to eat with R then we're doing great, but too many nights he's eating alone which we hate. I want us to eat as a family and I think it's important for him to see/watch us eat our food and veggies:)

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 9:05:30 GMT -5 jgy said:

Jun 29, 2015 8:38:15 GMT -5 Stringy said:

My kid never stops talking. And singing. And talking to herself. And singing to her "babies." Don't wish your kids would start stringing words together into sentences..cuz it will never stop. Yesterday we were wishing we had one of those taxicab divider things in the car.

Otherwise she is awesome.

Hey jgy - where ya been? Does G ever stop talking??

Hahaha NEVER.  Not for a minute to does he shut up.  Mostly, I love it.  But there are times when a little bit of quiet would be very welcomed.  It's to the point where he will lay (or, rather, roll around like crazy) in his crib for up to an hour at a time before he falls asleep.  He is talking/singing the ENTIRE time.  We want to keep the monitor on in case something happens and he truly needs us, but for the love kid, I also kinda want to hear the tv!!!

Oh yeah, and having a conversation between the two of us?  Forget it.  Car rides included. 

I agree and to clarify it is awesome 90% of the time to hear her commentary. Probably cuz this weekend we were trying to buy a house and not listening/paying attention to her as much but its not like she was saying "mama listen to me" - she was just happily talking away at her toys in the corner of the realtor's office, and the car, and the restaurant, etc.

And omg the bedtime talking. Always an hour to fall asleep. She says goodnight to everyone she knows and has like 3 books int there with her and says goodnight to every character. repeat forever.

BUT! jgy. look at us with kids alone in their rooms putting themselves to sleep!?!?!? how far we have come! I'll take it anytime over what it was like a year ago.

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 10:07:01 GMT -5 karlamo said:

I love seeing all this back and forth on here! It's great!

R is 16 months.

I'm going to go out on a gender sterotype limb here at the risk of having my hand slapped. Lol. R does things that make me wonder if he were a girl would he do them. For example, he took our vaccum extenders and put the 2 pieces together and runs around the house like it's a sword. How does he come up with these things. There are other things too that he does that even my family laughs and says, "that's a boy for ya'". I wonder if girls without older brothers do this kind of stuff. Stringy?

He made his first ever attempt at climbing out of his crib. He's not tall enough to ge this leg up and over but he has the idea and will in his head. I'm hoping we can keep him in there for man more months before the toddler bed transition. I'm sure the universe will have him climbing out of bed at the same time Moka is born!

He is also a "talker" in his own way and now says thank you when you hand him something. Very polite little man we're raising.

QOTW: We do meal planning over the weekend and make our meals the night of. The times when we have made meals ahead of time, it made life so much eaiser. Right now, I get home from work, or am already home on my SAHM days, and I get dinner started while my wife picks up R. We do bedtime around 6:30-7, so meals have to be cooked and ate in 1 hour. It makes for a stressful night. One stragtey we do is we make any new/complicated recipes on the weekends and keep our mindless/easy ones for during the week. If we get to eat with R then we're doing great, but too many nights he's eating alone which we hate. I want us to eat as a family and I think it's important for him to see/watch us eat our food and veggies:)

Parenting has given me a whole new view of gender and nature vs nurture.  Neither of us are very girly. But we aren't very masculine either. We are pretty middle of the road. Dresses only for weddings, I wear an occasional skirt to work in summer, my wife never would. We are sports people. We bought her balls and trucks before she was born. And babies.

She hates her trucks. They are even purple! At the beach she'll fill buckets and we roll the drump truck over and encourage her to fill it and dump it. "no truck!"  When we are at home she plays babies. All day every day. She changes their diapers, she rocks them, she sings to them, she puts them to bed, she tries to change their clothes, she feeds them.  Lately she has only wanted pink socks, pink diaper, pink pants. purple as a runner up. Or any dress. A dress will always be approved. Shorts often equal a meltdown.  I cannot figure out why/how she has landed on this.  She doesn't go to day care/preschool. She watches very little tv (pretty much only daniel tiger, her choice. And I've seen zero gender stereotypes there. Though the girl characters wear dresses and have bows, I suppose).  She has never once made something into a gun or sword - but I'm 99% sure she doesnt know/has never seen a gun or sword before, even in pretend land.  Now to be honest I haven't watched every episode of DT with her, so maybe one of the girls prefers pink in one of them and she latched on to that.  She has seen mickey mouse clubhouse a few times and loves the characters (but the show is trippy and she can't follow it; hell I can't follow it) - but she shows a very strong preference for minnie over mickey. Also interesting.

If she went to school or watched a variety of not so educational shows, I wouldn't be surprised. But instead I'm just chalking it up to her genetic makeup to be a girl.  But then clearly not all girls are genetically made up to be the SAME girl.

I've noticed it with some of her little boy friends too. Of the two who are closest to her age, one is a maniac (said with love). Climbs out of everything, can't be contained, hits for fun, (but also tries to hold her hand sometimes). And the other is this soft spoken little guy who when they play together pretends to cook with her and they feed babies. I know the parents of the more "boy" little guy very well and their other son is not like this at all and so I can't say its parenting. 

Its just so fascinating - sorry I'm rambling! (i'm a developmental psychologist by training, so I can't help it)

[Stringy]

karlamo, to add to your scenario. R goes to day care right? I would think that if he has seen any other kids/boys pretending to sword fight, that is all it takes. M does copy what she sees other kids doing on the playground. So maybe it isn't all genetics, maybe its things they are seeing that we just don't notice!

If nothing else I have learned, now that she can really talk, that she has absorbed everything we've said to her over her life. She knows the words to all the songs we regularly sing, and there are a lot. We just didn't know she knew until she could sing it herself.

A funny story on that. I have a friend who she sees not-regularly but remembers her name because one day we saw her at the pool and so that made an impression. We saw her again soon after that and M clung to me so incredibly hard for the ten minutes I talked to her. No eye contact, hiding in my neck - pretty out of character. A few weeks later she was going to stop by and I said, E is going to come over. "No E in M's home" she says. "No E." So I said to her, remember when we saw her at the pool and she played with you and all that. "No E." So I said, does E make you a little nervous? (I didn't think she knew what nervous meant but I didn't want to use 'scared' and didn't have another word). She stared at me. I said "Its ok if she does make you a little nervous. I will be here the whole time and you can sit on my lap while we chat." She came and M clung to me for 15 minutes and then very slowly made her way to go play while we were chatting. She never fully relaxed but did better.

Fast forward at least 2 weeks. M is eating dinner and was pushing her chair back from the table with her feet. I said, please don't do that you are making me nervous. She stops and thinks and then looks at me and says E's name. Honestly I didn't get it for a few minutes. She kept saying "E" over and over until it clicked to me. I had used the word nervous when describing her - and then again saying it made ME nervous that she was going to tip her chair over.

My mind was blown.

sorry for the saga. clearly monday and work aren't doing it for me!

[jgy]

karlamo, Stringy, it is so SO tempting for me to give in and use that "All boy" type of language. Both families do it on a regular basis. And, honestly, I'm not convinced that there isn't some truth to it (as you both alluded to above). But because I was a girl who was more aggressive and active, I know that it can be normal behavior for both boys and girls and so I try to find other words to use to describe it. But, like everything, I know it's all on a continuum of normal. But it does make me wonder, how many girls do you actually find on the super-active/aggressive side of that line and how many boys do you find on the overly calm, focused, non-violent side?

We also purchased/received toys for G that span the range of interests. I was actually happier about buying him a baby doll than almost any other gift, mostly because he truly seemed interested in it. Until he ran it over repeatedly with his dump truck.

[jgy]

Stringy, it always floors me when G makes connections with vocabulary and stories and songs. They're doing a TON of construction around his Daycare and a few weeks ago we walked over to peer into a huge hole that they had dug out. Someone had lost a ball into the hole and Gabe pointed to it and said "Need Pretzel!" He was alluding to the book Pretzel where a very long Dachshund reaches into a hole to save a more normal Dachshund and her green ball. I absolutely LOVE figuring out what he's connecting to what, and realizing that even if he doesn't SEEM to be listening to us, he is.

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:09:28 GMT -5 jgy said:

karlamo, Stringy, it is so SO tempting for me to give in and use that "All boy" type of language. Both families do it on a regular basis. And, honestly, I'm not convinced that there isn't some truth to it (as you both alluded to above). But because I was a girl who was more aggressive and active, I know that it can be normal behavior for both boys and girls and so I try to find other words to use to describe it. But, like everything, I know it's all on a continuum of normal. But it does make me wonder, how many girls do you actually find on the super-active/aggressive side of that line and how many boys do you find on the overly calm, focused, non-violent side?

We also purchased/received toys for G that span the range of interests. I was actually happier about buying him a baby doll than almost any other gift, mostly because he truly seemed interested in it. Until he ran it over repeatedly with his dump truck.

Ok I did have a chuckle at that.  I agree that I don't like the whole "all boy" language. For one, no one says "all girl" at my kid doing "girl things." But I feel like some (not all) people go to far and use "all boy" to excuse poor behaviors (in older kids moreso). 

And as a girl kid who acted more like a boy (and vividly remembers being told that by a peer and being very hurt by it, regardless of how true it likely was) - I hate the idea of any of us worrying about this cuz I just wanted to do what I found fun (not dresses, sports!). Worrying is the wrong word - i don't think we are doing that.  I guess we are just finding it interesting and talking about it lol. Cuz its not like we are going to find an answer, right? Just like we probably can't change it!

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:12:30 GMT -5 jgy said:

Stringy, it always floors me when G makes connections with vocabulary and stories and songs. They're doing a TON of construction around his Daycare and a few weeks ago we walked over to peer into a huge hole that they had dug out. Someone had lost a ball into the hole and Gabe pointed to it and said "Need Pretzel!" He was alluding to the book Pretzel where a very long Dachshund reaches into a hole to save a more normal Dachshund and her green ball. I absolutely LOVE figuring out what he's connecting to what, and realizing that even if he doesn't SEEM to be listening to us, he is.

Isn't is so cool!? What other books is he liking lately? I feel like we are in a transition zone to books with more of a story line. She has started actually sitting through Corduroy now. She still loves many others but I feel like I need more simple books that also have stories to them more than the basic.

[jgy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:21:42 GMT -5 Stringy said:

Jun 29, 2015 11:12:30 GMT -5 jgy said:

Stringy, it always floors me when G makes connections with vocabulary and stories and songs. They're doing a TON of construction around his Daycare and a few weeks ago we walked over to peer into a huge hole that they had dug out. Someone had lost a ball into the hole and Gabe pointed to it and said "Need Pretzel!" He was alluding to the book Pretzel where a very long Dachshund reaches into a hole to save a more normal Dachshund and her green ball. I absolutely LOVE figuring out what he's connecting to what, and realizing that even if he doesn't SEEM to be listening to us, he is.

Isn't is so cool!? What other books is he liking lately? I feel like we are in a transition zone to books with more of a story line. She has started actually sitting through Corduroy now. She still loves many others but I feel like I need more simple books that also have stories to them more than the basic.

OMG books.  Let's see.  Aside from Pretzel, he is WAY into the book 10 Minutes 'Till Bedtime.  At first I really dreaded it because it's one of those books that has very few written words and mostly you need to talk about what's going on in the pictures (shoot me now), but I've actually found it to be an incredible motivator for him.  If I use language and actions consistent with what he sees in that book, getting him into bed is actually easier.

What else?  We have this stupid 4-book series of Elmo and friends that include settings of a Firehouse (his fave), Grocery Store, Library, and Apartment.  Those are always winners.  He's really liking Katy No-Pocket right now.  He LOVES all of the Gerald and Piggie books (especially I Broke my Trunk).  He's going a bit backwards by all-of-a-sudden discovering Goodnight Moon.  I think he's finally a bit over Green Eggs and Ham (thank all things holy).  We went through a VERY long stage of loving The Little Engine that Could but that finally came to an end when he destroyed the book after we left it in his crib one night.  He still points to the little shreds of paper sometimes and acts sad that he "Broke it."  But we really needed the break from that one!

Books he will not allow us to read: anything with an agenda.  He refuses to listen to the book about bringing home a new baby.  He detests anything related to potty training.  He will not sit through Hands Are Not for Hitting.  He won't stand for any of the Mommy/Mama books.  C'mon kid!


Stringy, what have you been reading to M lately?

[jgy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:19:48 GMT -5 Stringy said:

Jun 29, 2015 11:09:28 GMT -5 jgy said:

karlamo, Stringy, it is so SO tempting for me to give in and use that "All boy" type of language. Both families do it on a regular basis. And, honestly, I'm not convinced that there isn't some truth to it (as you both alluded to above). But because I was a girl who was more aggressive and active, I know that it can be normal behavior for both boys and girls and so I try to find other words to use to describe it. But, like everything, I know it's all on a continuum of normal. But it does make me wonder, how many girls do you actually find on the super-active/aggressive side of that line and how many boys do you find on the overly calm, focused, non-violent side?

We also purchased/received toys for G that span the range of interests. I was actually happier about buying him a baby doll than almost any other gift, mostly because he truly seemed interested in it. Until he ran it over repeatedly with his dump truck.

Ok I did have a chuckle at that.  I agree that I don't like the whole "all boy" language. For one, no one says "all girl" at my kid doing "girl things." But I feel like some (not all) people go to far and use "all boy" to excuse poor behaviors (in older kids moreso). 

And as a girl kid who acted more like a boy (and vividly remembers being told that by a peer and being very hurt by it, regardless of how true it likely was) - I hate the idea of any of us worrying about this cuz I just wanted to do what I found fun (not dresses, sports!). Worrying is the wrong word - i don't think we are doing that.  I guess we are just finding it interesting and talking about it lol. Cuz its not like we are going to find an answer, right? Just like we probably can't change it!

Yeah, I have a lot of feelings about this (no surprise) but I haven't really been able to articulate them yet.  I think that so many people are really black and white about this kind of thing and to me it's so gray.  Behaviors that aren't dangerous or violent, but some people (okay, most people) find annoying/irritating and perhaps even rude, are that gray area to me.  What do I choose to discipline my kid for, and what crosses a line at which point I'm completely stopping him from expressing his true nature?  Right now behaviors that include or result in damage to property, self, or other humans take precedence and are always addressed.  But there is SO MUCH to work on there, that other things like incessant running, jumping, squealing, throwing, climbing, etc. kind of take a back seat.  

Some parents talk about trying to create an environment for their kids where they rarely hear the word "No."  For us that's laughable.  Impossible.  And irresponsible, honestly.  But I can't express enough how frustrating it is as a parent to feel like ALL you say is NO.  As a results, we very often make the choice to NOT go somewhere.  We deny G some experiences out in the world because we feel like he's just not capable of behaving in a way that would be acceptable there.  It's SUPER frustrating.

I love having an active kid.  I take a certain selfish pride in it, even (self-preservation perhaps??).  But I have loads and loads of worries about the future and our ability to utilize his high activity level in positive ways.  

[karlamo]

Stringy, He goes to daycare 2 days/week and watches zero tv at this age. He is a funny kid in the sense that he is very gentle and cuddly with people yet at the same time he is a maniac. Yesterday we bought him a table and chair set, it took him about 1 hour before he climbed on top of the chair and tried standing on the table!

We call him a bull in a china shop with his movements.

We are very open with toys with him. He owned a pink minnie mouse walker, has a baby doll, kitchen set, barbie. The only thing that he plays with is the kitchen set. We have made several attempts at the dolls but he laughs and throws them. We go to the park A LOT, like 3-4 times a weeks and I see how the sexes play. The boys are nuts, running around playing pretend and the girls are more reserved on the swings or hanging out. This is true for all ages. I'm not one for putting sexes in a box but there has to be something to the hormones that make boys and girls behave the way they do.

jgy, With R and if Moka is a girl, we don't plan on using their sex as an excuse for their behavior but I do find it interesting when I see the difference play out with my friends with girls vs my friends with boys.

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:40:57 GMT -5 jgy said:

Jun 29, 2015 11:21:42 GMT -5 Stringy said:

OMG books.  Let's see.  Aside from Pretzel, he is WAY into the book 10 Minutes 'Till Bedtime.  At first I really dreaded it because it's one of those books that has very few written words and mostly you need to talk about what's going on in the pictures (shoot me now), but I've actually found it to be an incredible motivator for him.  If I use language and actions consistent with what he sees in that book, getting him into bed is actually easier.

What else?  We have this stupid 4-book series of Elmo and friends that include settings of a Firehouse (his fave), Grocery Store, Library, and Apartment.  Those are always winners.  He's really liking Katy No-Pocket right now.  He LOVES all of the Gerald and Piggie books (especially I Broke my Trunk).  He's going a bit backwards by all-of-a-sudden discovering Goodnight Moon.  I think he's finally a bit over Green Eggs and Ham (thank all things holy).  We went through a VERY long stage of loving The Little Engine that Could but that finally came to an end when he destroyed the book after we left it in his crib one night.  He still points to the little shreds of paper sometimes and acts sad that he "Broke it."  But we really needed the break from that one!

Books he will not allow us to read: anything with an agenda.  He refuses to listen to the book about bringing home a new baby.  He detests anything related to potty training.  He will not sit through Hands Are Not for Hitting.  He won't stand for any of the Mommy/Mama books.  C'mon kid!


Stringy, what have you been reading to M lately?

Ah this all makes me laugh. "nothing with an agenda!"  Its funny, off the top of my head we don't overlap at all (which is exciting, ideas!).  I haven't tried the little engine that could in a while cuz all she wanted to do was find the dolls/dancers on each page. Gag me.  And I realized a while back that we have almost no Dr Seuss books. How did that happen? We have Hands Hands Fingers Thumb, which she used to love but I haven't even seen in a while - but no green eggs and ham etc. Are you telling me I shouldn't bother? lol.

Her big faves right now are the Bear books by Barefoot Books (which is a UK publisher that had two local stores here until this weekend )  Its like Bear on a Bike, Bear takes a Trip, Bear goes to School. We have like 10 of them (thanks to their closing sale this weekend).  They are great and not annoying.  She also loves a few other Barefoot Books - Listen Listen and I took the Moon for a Walk. Not so much for the story as that they have amazing art work and we like to essentially play I spy on each page. They may or may not be available online. A few of the Bear ones are on Amazon I think (http://www.amazon.com/Bear-Bike-Barefoot-Board-Book/dp/1841483753/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1435598555&sr=8-5&keywords=bear+at+home) 

And now I'm blanking because she has been refusing me reading her bedtime books (requesting the other mom) for a few weeks so I only know which books I'm taking out of her bed after she's asleep (she usually takes what she reads with her to read alone once we leave). Oh! She likes "red had green hat" by sanda boynton -cuz she finally gets that it should be funny. And she has (had) three Daniel Tiger books but they were torn to shreds by her taking them to bed. We need to stick to board books apparently.

[Stringy]

Jun 29, 2015 11:53:21 GMT -5 jgy said:

Jun 29, 2015 11:19:48 GMT -5 Stringy said:

Ok I did have a chuckle at that.  I agree that I don't like the whole "all boy" language. For one, no one says "all girl" at my kid doing "girl things." But I feel like some (not all) people go to far and use "all boy" to excuse poor behaviors (in older kids moreso). 

And as a girl kid who acted more like a boy (and vividly remembers being told that by a peer and being very hurt by it, regardless of how true it likely was) - I hate the idea of any of us worrying about this cuz I just wanted to do what I found fun (not dresses, sports!). Worrying is the wrong word - i don't think we are doing that.  I guess we are just finding it interesting and talking about it lol. Cuz its not like we are going to find an answer, right? Just like we probably can't change it!

Yeah, I have a lot of feelings about this (no surprise) but I haven't really been able to articulate them yet.  I think that so many people are really black and white about this kind of thing and to me it's so gray.  Behaviors that aren't dangerous or violent, but some people (okay, most people) find annoying/irritating and perhaps even rude, are that gray area to me.  What do I choose to discipline my kid for, and what crosses a line at which point I'm completely stopping him from expressing his true nature?  Right now behaviors that include or result in damage to property, self, or other humans take precedence and are always addressed.  But there is SO MUCH to work on there, that other things like incessant running, jumping, squealing, throwing, climbing, etc. kind of take a back seat.  

Some parents talk about trying to create an environment for their kids where they rarely hear the word "No."  For us that's laughable.  Impossible.  And irresponsible, honestly.  But I can't express enough how frustrating it is as a parent to feel like ALL you say is NO.  As a results, we very often make the choice to NOT go somewhere.  We deny G some experiences out in the world because we feel like he's just not capable of behaving in a way that would be acceptable there.  It's SUPER frustrating.

I love having an active kid.  I take a certain selfish pride in it, even (self-preservation perhaps??).  But I have loads and loads of worries about the future and our ability to utilize his high activity level in positive ways.  

This sounds JUST like my friend's son who is M and G's age.  She also has a 4 year old boy who is shy and hesitant, total opposite. Whenever we want to meet up (she's one of my only mom friends who we aren't just friends cuz of the kids) - it is limited. It has to be at a completely fenced in park (and even then he climbs the fence at least once). She feels bad for her older son now because she can't take them a lot of places together cuz the younger one is so active. We used to meet at the beach all the time before he was mobile (and before he was born) - but now she can't unless its a weekend and her husband can come cuz she can't keep up with them both alone unless they are contained. She has said time outs are completely useless, etc. And then I feel bad cuz the older one is like the emotional needy type. So he wants to talk out his hurt feelings over a tiny thing and the other one wants to climb over the car. Totally opposite parenting needs to work out.  But I totally feel for you, and I hope he grows into a little more calmness for you (in the right situations, he might be an awesome hockey player!).

[foodislove]

Hello! I'd like to join the parenting thread if that's okay

It's been a while since I've posted here so just a quick recap... formerly known as wishiwaspreggo on TB. I was due in March but gave birth on February 5th (5 weeks premature) and now my boy is a big, strong, and active 5 month old. He's a very happy, giggly, sweet baby. Being his mom has been a real joy for C and myself.

He babbles a lot now. We just transitioned him from our room to his own room and it's been a little hard because I worry about him but he seems completely unbothered so the issue is mine alone lol... He's much better off in his crib because he sprawls out and scoots around. I want him to be comfortable. We make him wear a breathing monitor because we're paranoid. We'll probably take it off once he has enough control over his hands. Right now they're still these magical appendages that sort of work but he doesn't quite know what to do with them yet.

As far as mealtimes, he's still pretty set on the liquid diet and we just feed him on demand. We've introduced a couple solids (cereal, avocado, bananas) and he was only enthusiastic about the avocado. We'll try solids periodically. We really need a high chair, which we plan to buy this weekend. C and I are still able to eat our meals hot generally. G has his momentary freak outs when he HAS to eat right when we sit down with our food (ugh!) but it happens once a week or so.

So there's my story! I love being a mom it's been lots of fun so far.

[wittyandwaiting]

I don't have much of an update this week, DS had his Grade 8 graduation and is headed to high school in the fall. So that's a big deal and makes me feel old. He and his friends have started taking the city bus to go hang out at the public pool or to the movies.

QOTW: I do most of the dinner prep and we all sit at the table to eat together. Since DS is older, he helps me out on a kitchen a lot which is amazing; he rinses and dries dishes, washes vegetables, does some basic food prep, etc.

Way to go 2brides! The home alone milestone is huge! Little short trips is definitely the way to go!

[mahler5]

Today was C's first day at daycare!!! They said she did well and she was fine when I picked her up. I'm just tired now and kind of frustrated at the wife as I don't feel like we were sharing responsibilities after work equally. But it is a huge change in our routine so it is going to take a while to adjust.

I'm really enjoying all the convo today. I can't tell if C is going to be in to stereotypical girl things but she definitely loves stuff animals and has one baby doll that she loves, so it's possible. It will be interesting to see how her personality develops. She does like to hit some and climb on everything, and growl, but I'm not so sure those behaviors are limited to boys. They just seem more stereotypically male.

I'm too tired to write much more.

[mahler5]

QOTW-- I do most of cooking and like it that way most of the time. I usually make one to two big meals on the weekend where we eat leftovers at least Monday ( maybe Tuesday too). I try to have some easy things to heat up, like chicken, black beans, tortillas, rice , etc. It is harder to prep with C so active and clingy. That combo isn't good around the stove so sometimes I give her some appetizers in her high chair while I actually cook.

I would love to prep more on the weekend but it never seems to happen. Maybe you all will inspire me to be better this weekend!

[wittyandwaiting]

mahler5, I always think about prepping on the weekends, usually while I'm sitting on the couch watching Netflix.

[mahler5]

Jun 29, 2015 21:15:30 GMT -5 wittyandwaiting said:

mahler5, I always think about prepping on the weekends, usually while I'm sitting on the couch watching Netflix.

That is definitely one of my problems on the weekend as well! OITNB isn't going to finish itself!

[jazibel]

Owen is almost 14 months, Kaden is almost 3 years old.

It's evening here and I am sitting in my comfy armchair on pins and needles hoping these boys fall asleep.

Things I don't like about parenting:
- bedtime struggles
- childcare (always complicated and so important)
- being sick and taking care of sick kids

I definitely didn't think these particular things would bother me the most, I figured it would be poopy diapers, or messy kids in the restaurant. But bedtime is right up there. At the end of a long day all I want to do is jump on the computer and get some work (and personal stuff done). Kaden sometimes pushes back on bedtime and refuses to go to sleep, we walk him back to his bed and tuck him in. Owen always fusses himself to sleep, he's just wound tightly. All of the tools (holding, nursing, bottles, rocking, co-sleeping, wearing, walking, bouncing, staying nearby, etc.) never worked. He has to talk and whine and cry and then he sleeps really well and happily.

Other than bedtime though life is pretty good. K & O seem to be adjusting well to their new daycare. The owner/teacher is a really sweet person and I think she does a good and consistent job from what I can tell. Having full days to work from home or be on the road is AMAZING. Before we had a sitter twice a week for 4 hours each day. The 10 hours a day I have now fly by, but I'm able to get so much done. I am very grateful, and glad the boys seem excited to get dropped off.

Developmentally things are plugging along, Owen talks more and more, and is super expressive and engaging. They're both pretty extroverted which is fun, they're also fearless, adventurous and curious. I love watching their personalities bloom.

[jazibel]

QOTD: We eat out a lot, and I try to cook simple meals. Now that EV and I are eating really healthy/ low calorie meals we eat a lot of veggies, salads, etc. Tonight it was salad, homemade tartar sauce and frozen fish sticks. Yesterday it was salad, roasted corn on the cob and homemade burger patties (w/o bread). The kids just eat what we eat.

QOTD #2: We were just invited to a pool party for one of EV's old co-workers. I'm excited to have someplace to be on the 4th. The 3rd is our 11 year wedding anniversary. I realize I have noooo plans. Hmmmmm I should probably think of something...



Rg. gender. Being a parent has definitely shifted my perspective too. I really expected my kids to be reserved and imaginative. But instead they are super high energy and destructive. Not viciously, just expressively. For instance our train table was a Craigslist find. The family that owned it previously (lesbian couple to boot) had 2 little girls. The table was in pristine condition. My boys are ripping the printed scenery off. Regularly have cars, trucks, and figurines trample all over the table and tracks, sweep the table clean creating lots of noise and toys flying everywhere. The louder, the messier the more they both merrily laugh. As a kid I would have never done that. I look enviously at mom's whose kids sit neatly at their feet at the park, reading or playing with a toy. My boys run in opposite directions, climb, jump off 5' tall platforms (Kaden), fling themselves on everything. Howl gleefully going down long slides backward. It's all pretty insane. Then I look at older boys, ages 5, 8, 10, 15 and see the crazy stunts they're up too and my heart shudders. But that said I have no idea if they are this way due to gender, or genes?

[2brides]

I think it is just how some kids are wired. My kids aren't destructive - all the toys look pretty much new despite being played with - but they wrestle and are in motion all of the time. I have one kid who loves to jump on/over anything (I wish I could find him a parkour course close to home.) The things he does to the couch in the playroom is crazy (old couch so not a big deal - couch in the living room - big deal.) And the wrestling - oh, my. When we go to the park and they wrestle and run through the woods, the poor parents of toddlers look on in horror with looks of "my child would never do that!" Ha.

The kids' best friend is a girl who is more into stuff with the boys than typical "girl" stuff. She wrestles and plays in the woods, loves superheros, and Minecraft and boy clothing (because she hates pink or anything fitted.)

My kids have certainly run the spectrum over the wears of preferred toys. We had a well loved play kithen, there was a stage where they carried around pink baby dolls, they both went through a stage where their favorite color was pink and we owned pink pjs, pink winter hat/scarf, and pink stuffed animals. We just have rolled with whatever their interests are at the time.

..though I do hope this loving WWE phase passes quickly.