"Just you wait."

[chuggingwater]

Annoying stories to share?

Times you've said it to a fellow parent?

Does it irritate you?



I recall there were several discussions about this on my last bmb.

(P&R as I'm doing drop offs)

[fuzzylogic]

So far I don't think anyone has said much anything like that to me. However, I'm pretty much holed up in the summer so people haven't seen me to say it I've been spending more time with students and they don't have any experience with it lol. Score.

It annoys the shit out of me, though. Not everyone's experiences are the same.

[sewfie2]

I don't think I've had it yet while pregnant, but I really hate that statement. I heard it a few times pre-pregnancy, and it's annoying as frack.

[fuzzylogic]

Along similar lines is something every teacher gets asked -- "Do you have kids?" As if I don't know how teenagers act because I don't have my own kids.

Fuck you.

And also, I really, really enjoyed throwing that in someone's face last week when talking about how her grandson never communicated with her. "Do you have kids?" "I actually have one on the way, ma'am. But I've been a teacher for over a decade. I know how teenagers work. But that doesn't excuse him not communicating with you. He has to do his job, as I have done mine." She shut up real fast.

[Deleted]

I try really hard to not do this. It's easy when you're two children in to be sanctimonious. I do make it a point to reiterate that the "Terrible Twos" are just prep work for the "Trying Threes". Threenagers, as I call them, are worse than two year olds because they talk really well and are very much like moody teens. I do have friends that I have been very honest with about pregnancy and what their body is going to do because I kind of felt cheated.

Like nobody told me about swamp crotch in the 3rd tri. Nobody told me I would smell horrible, my boobs especially, when my milk came in. I would want to shower 3 times a day but couldn't. Nobody told me that the baby would kick sometimes and it would feel like she/he was punching me right in the vagina. Nobody told me that breastmilk comes out of your nipples like a shower head in multiple places. Nobody told me what breastfeeding for the first time would feel like (it's not pleasant). Nobody told me that you never trust a fart right after you've birthed a big baby. These are things I would want to know.

[fuzzylogic]

Jul 1, 2015 8:40:37 GMT -5 @wren said:

Like nobody told me about swamp crotch in the 3rd tri. Nobody told me I would smell horrible, my boobs especially, when my milk came in. I would want to shower 3 times a day but couldn't. Nobody told me that the baby would kick sometimes and it would feel like she/he was punching me right in the vagina. Nobody told me that breastmilk comes out of your nipples like a shower head in multiple places. Nobody told me what breastfeeding for the first time would feel like (it's not pleasant). Nobody told me that you never trust a fart right after you've birthed a big baby. These are things I would want to know.

But someone can tell you these things without that mocking "just you wait for it" kind of tone, you know? I was watching two older teachers tell our principal last spring how her hands would swell, and she wouldn't be able to wear her jewelry anymore, and all of these other scary things and frankly, she looked freaked out. You can tell people these things and be kind!

I told her I was going to buy her a long necklace that would fit no matter her neck, arm, or belly size She seemed relieved at that.

Just you wait -- people are going to touch you.
vs. People will try to touch you. Don't feel bad for telling them to stop or to back away.

Just you wait -- your clothes will get soaked when you change your boy's diaper.
vs. Boys are more likely to pee on you when you change their diaper, given the shape of their anatomy. You might consider a plastic apron or standing to the side.

[Deleted]

I'll admit there have been times I have wanted to say it, but I know how much I hated hearing it from others so I refrain. I know I am not always right & everyone's experiences are different.

[chad5285]

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

[emejay]

I've had a couple of "just you wait" when I tell people I want to cloth diaper.

The mocking tone of "poor little naive girl" makes me want to punch people.

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2015 8:51:57 GMT -5 fuzzylogic said:

Jul 1, 2015 8:40:37 GMT -5 @wren said:

Like nobody told me about swamp crotch in the 3rd tri. Nobody told me I would smell horrible, my boobs especially, when my milk came in. I would want to shower 3 times a day but couldn't. Nobody told me that the baby would kick sometimes and it would feel like she/he was punching me right in the vagina. Nobody told me that breastmilk comes out of your nipples like a shower head in multiple places. Nobody told me what breastfeeding for the first time would feel like (it's not pleasant). Nobody told me that you never trust a fart right after you've birthed a big baby. These are things I would want to know.

But someone can tell you these things without that mocking "just you wait for it" kind of tone, you know? I was watching two older teachers tell our principal last spring how her hands would swell, and she wouldn't be able to wear her jewelry anymore, and all of these other scary things and frankly, she looked freaked out. You can tell people these things and be kind!

I told her I was going to buy her a long necklace that would fit no matter her neck, arm, or belly size She seemed relieved at that.

Just you wait -- people are going to touch you.
vs. People will try to touch you. Don't feel bad for telling them to stop or to back away.

Just you wait -- your clothes will get soaked when you change your boy's diaper.
vs. Boys are more likely to pee on you when you change their diaper, given the shape of their anatomy. You might consider a plastic apron or standing to the side.

Absolutely! I try to never be mocking when I tell people these things. I am a jokester so I try to make it funny and airy and not scare the crap out of anyone. I don't think I have ever said "Just you wait" ever in my life. My cousin on the other hand, well, I want to punch her a lot.

[fuzzylogic]

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

Holy shit, no. Just no. Let's be honest -- when they're an infant, you're trying to keep them alive more than anything. Being a parent is more than being life support, it's about raising a child, which foster parents do. Fuck that, and fuck them. I'm so sorry people said that to you. Nut/cunt punch for all of them.

Also, to the above, I just remembered a "just you wait" moment from a mom of three, going on four: Just you wait, all the poop and throw up!" I said, you know, I have cats. All they do is throw up and pee on my things. And have you ever cleaned up a 75lb dog's vomit? It's a lot of vomit. She pondered and said, "You know, you're right. You're going to be just fine. I never thought about that."

Fucking duh. And yes, it's like people get their jollies by making others feel miserable. No shit, bringing a human being into the world is time-consuming, exhausting, and expensive. It's also supposed to be a joyful moment for you. Stop ruining it because you're miserable. Other people will feel quite differently. All of the poop, and pee, and interrupted sleep are WORTH IT. 

[crystaleyes138]

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

WTF?? I can't believe someone would say that to you!

[chad5285]

Jul 1, 2015 9:06:29 GMT -5 fuzzylogic said:

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

Holy shit, no. Just no. Let's be honest -- when they're an infant, you're trying to keep them alive more than anything. Being a parent is more than being life support, it's about raising a child, which foster parents do. Fuck that, and fuck them. I'm so sorry people said that to you. Nut/cunt punch for all of them.

Also, to the above, I just remembered a "just you wait" moment from a mom of three, going on four: Just you wait, all the poop and throw up!" I said, you know, I have cats. All they do is throw up and pee on my things. And have you ever cleaned up a 75lb dog's vomit? It's a lot of vomit. She pondered and said, "You know, you're right. You're going to be just fine. I never thought about that."

Fucking duh. And yes, it's like people get their jollies by making others feel miserable. No shit, bringing a human being into the world is time-consuming, exhausting, and expensive. It's also supposed to be a joyful moment for you. Stop ruining it because you're miserable. Other people will feel quite differently. All of the poop, and pee, and interrupted sleep are WORTH IT. 

This made me lol. My dog routinely eats hair and long pieces of grass and I have to pull dingle berries out of her butt with toilet paper so I feel okay about the diaper situation.

[crystaleyes138]

Jul 1, 2015 9:06:29 GMT -5 fuzzylogic said:

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

-snip-

Holy shit, no. Just no. Let's be honest -- when they're an infant, you're trying to keep them alive more than anything. Being a parent is more than being life support, it's about raising a child, which foster parents do. Fuck that, and fuck them. I'm so sorry people said that to you. Nut/cunt punch for all of them.

Also, to the above, I just remembered a "just you wait" moment from a mom of three, going on four: Just you wait, all the poop and throw up!" I said, you know, I have cats. All they do is throw up and pee on my things. And have you ever cleaned up a 75lb dog's vomit? It's a lot of vomit. She pondered and said, "You know, you're right. You're going to be just fine. I never thought about that."

Fucking duh. And yes, it's like people get their jollies by making others feel miserable. No shit, bringing a human being into the world is time-consuming, exhausting, and expensive. It's also supposed to be a joyful moment for you. Stop ruining it because you're miserable. Other people will feel quite differently. All of the poop, and pee, and interrupted sleep are WORTH IT. 

My DH and I have the same response to this too! We've taken care of multiple dogs who pee, poop, and barf all over the place. TMI: we have even "assisted" a few of our dogs with a poo when grass or a hair was preventing them from finishing. I know dogs are different than kids, but we are more than comfortable with bodily fluids.

[sonpetitlapin]

People know I have three older children, so I don't hear that from anyone. But I do say it to myself, just you wait, you will be back to NOT sleeping during the night nor having freedom anymore. LOL

What irks me now is my mother. She can be nasty. I had issues with my 15 year old back in Oct. In talking to her she went into her nasty snide remarks: "Welcome to being a mom of a teenager" "Welcome to my world". This is why I don't tell her much.

[mrsmuq]

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

I'm sorry that not one, but three, people were insensitive enough to say that to you. 

[risscaboobs]

I get this from my favorite co-irker almost on a daily basis.

Please to not say this to anyone. Ever. Kthanks.

[keen]

I am very, very, okay with someone saying to a soon to be or new parent, 'Just you wait. It may get hard but it's totally, irrefutably, fucking worth it! Get through the first couple months and you will discover you can do ANYTHING!'

[kensie5226]

I've been pretty lucky not hear this much. I've had a couple of people say "don't be surprised if" which I actually think is much nicer and more open ended. When I told my boss we had picked a name she said "don't be surprised if you change your mind." Well, I am pretty set on the name, but at least it wasn't sanctimonious.

Edit: because I left out entire words.

[Deleted]

Jul 1, 2015 9:18:50 GMT -5 mrsmuq said:

Jul 1, 2015 8:53:54 GMT -5 chad5285 said:

It annoys the fuck out of me. Anytime someone tells me to enjoy sleep or naps or whatever I just want to say, "wtf, no one EVER told me having a baby meant a lifestyle change!?!"

There also seems to be this perverse joy that people get for informing FTMs how absolutely fucking terrible it's going to be. Laundry! Throw up! Poop! Pee! Crying! No Sleep! No sex! Depression! Marital issues! Labor! Episiotomies! Like, I get that it's going to be difficult but I've done other really hard things before and I feel confident I can do this since millions of women over thousands of years have been doing the same. If I had a nickel for every time someone said parenthood is, "soooo hard but it's soooo worth it" I would be able to buy a really nice sign that says SHUT THE FUCK UP in large glittery letters.

And just in case you didn't know, it's really rude to tell someone who was a foster parent that those kids don't count because they weren't infants so you have no idea about parenthood. Sorry for the rant but I've had so much of this that I'm totally done and the 3 "foster parent isn't a real parent" comments I've gotten in the last month are really making me question humanity.

I'm sorry that not one, but three, people were insensitive enough to say that to you. 

Here here! If anything, you are MORE of a parent that I am chad5285, because you didn't get those days, weeks, months to prepare for the age you got them at and to bond with and love them in spite of how crazy they can make you at times. You are taking charge of a stranger and kicking ass doing it. That's a love and a passion a LOT of people don't have (albeit a different kind of love). Foster parents get ALL THE KUDOS from me. It takes a very special person to do that.

[Sparkly]

People said this to me SO much when I was pregnant with my first and I think FTMs do get the worst of it. It's annoying as fuck. I try REALLY hard not to do the "just wait" thing, but to give whatever advice/info/encouragement in a kind, realistic, and helpful way, as opposed to condescending or mocking.

Also, with a lot of FTMs, I just express happiness and excitement for them and let them know if they want to ask me anything, I'll give them the HONEST answer.

[chad5285]

Jul 1, 2015 9:44:07 GMT -5 Sparkly said:

People said this to me SO much when I was pregnant with my first and I think FTMs do get the worst of it. It's annoying as fuck. I try REALLY hard not to do the "just wait" thing, but to give whatever advice/info/encouragement in a kind, realistic, and helpful way, as opposed to condescending or mocking.

Also, with a lot of FTMs, I just express happiness and excitement for them and let them know if they want to ask me anything, I'll give them the HONEST answer.

I have no issue with this and in a perfect world this is how it would always work. If I go to you and ask, "level with me, how bad is the sleep deprivation" I honestly want to know. Hearing, "omg totes exhausting!" with no offer of support or encouragement just gets depressing.

[frankenboom]

My MIL constantly says "that will be you soon" regarding watching my SIL deal with her terrorist daughter. No it fucking won't.

Also when people say "make sure you get your sleep now" I'm always so confused. Like...can I bank it? Save it up? Use it later? That shit makes NO sense.

And, what's that you say? Life will be different when the baby arrives? I'd never even thought of that - thank you SO much for letting me know!

I get that there are many BTDT moms (here and just like, in life), but what I don't get is why those moms don't realize that 1. every pregnancy is different from every other pregnancy and 2. every kid is different from every other kid. What happened to you....might not happen to someone else. If your kid is a dick, someone else's kid might not be a dick. Or might be an even beigger dick. What a concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fuzzylogic]

Jul 1, 2015 9:50:15 GMT -5 frankenboom said:

My MIL constantly says "that will be you soon" regarding watching my SIL deal with her terrorist daughter. No it fucking won't.

Also when people say "make sure you get your sleep now" I'm always so confused. Like...can I bank it? Save it up? Use it later? That shit makes NO sense.

And, what's that you say? Life will be different when the baby arrives? I'd never even thought of that - thank you SO much for letting me know!

I get that there are many BTDT moms (here and just like, in life), but what I don't get is why those moms don't realize that 1. every pregnancy is different from every other pregnancy and 2. every kid is different from every other kid. What happened to you....might not happen to someone else. If your kid is a dick, someone else's kid might not be a dick. Or might be an even beigger dick. What a concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I you so much.

[frankenboom]

Jul 1, 2015 9:52:56 GMT -5 fuzzylogic said:

Jul 1, 2015 9:50:15 GMT -5 frankenboom said:

My MIL constantly says "that will be you soon" regarding watching my SIL deal with her terrorist daughter. No it fucking won't.

Also when people say "make sure you get your sleep now" I'm always so confused. Like...can I bank it? Save it up? Use it later? That shit makes NO sense.

And, what's that you say? Life will be different when the baby arrives? I'd never even thought of that - thank you SO much for letting me know!

I get that there are many BTDT moms (here and just like, in life), but what I don't get is why those moms don't realize that 1. every pregnancy is different from every other pregnancy and 2. every kid is different from every other kid. What happened to you....might not happen to someone else. If your kid is a dick, someone else's kid might not be a dick. Or might be an even beigger dick. What a concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I you so much.

I accept your love and return it in full force.

Also DID YOU KNOW YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE SOON!?!?!?!?!?

[risscaboobs]

chad5285 - as a childhood lover of Cinderella - I approve of your siggy.

[PonyGirl]

I just love when people with boys that don't behave (because the parents let him do whatever the hell he wants) tells me "Are you still ready to have a boy?" Umm yes! But my boy isn't going to act like that. I actually know how to make a child listen and he won't run around like crazy.

[kensie5226]

Jul 1, 2015 9:50:15 GMT -5 frankenboom said:

My MIL constantly says "that will be you soon" regarding watching my SIL deal with her terrorist daughter. No it fucking won't.

Also when people say "make sure you get your sleep now" I'm always so confused. Like...can I bank it? Save it up? Use it later? That shit makes NO sense.

And, what's that you say? Life will be different when the baby arrives? I'd never even thought of that - thank you SO much for letting me know!

I get that there are many BTDT moms (here and just like, in life), but what I don't get is why those moms don't realize that 1. every pregnancy is different from every other pregnancy and 2. every kid is different from every other kid. What happened to you....might not happen to someone else. If your kid is a dick, someone else's kid might not be a dick. Or might be an even beigger dick. What a concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After screaming at her 8 year old to "go get your goddamned towel and get the hell out of here" my cousin turned to me and said "kids are such assholes, can't you just wait". I awkwardly laughed, while thinking, well when you raise kids to be assholes, then they'll totally be assholes. She's doesn't watch her kids or help her kids, hell she's not even nice to her kids. It's heartbreaking to watch. No, no my kids won't be like yours because I will not parent the way you do.

[PonyGirl]

Jul 1, 2015 9:50:15 GMT -5 frankenboom said:

My MIL constantly says "that will be you soon" regarding watching my SIL deal with her terrorist daughter. No it fucking won't.

Also when people say "make sure you get your sleep now" I'm always so confused. Like...can I bank it? Save it up? Use it later? That shit makes NO sense.

And, what's that you say? Life will be different when the baby arrives? I'd never even thought of that - thank you SO much for letting me know!

I get that there are many BTDT moms (here and just like, in life), but what I don't get is why those moms don't realize that 1. every pregnancy is different from every other pregnancy and 2. every kid is different from every other kid. What happened to you....might not happen to someone else. If your kid is a dick, someone else's kid might not be a dick. Or might be an even beigger dick. What a concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To this!! I don't get it either! If I sleep now while I'm pregnant that's not going to help me ANY once he gets here!

[cnf2013]

I fucking hate that saying. It sounds so condescending and like they're pointing out that I must be a giant moron and know nothing about kids simply because I don't have any of my own yet. It's extra irritating coming from my one friend is currently trying for number three and does everything 100% the opposite of how H and I hope to do things. It takes all my effort not to roll my eyes all the way in to the back of my head when she tries to tell me how it is.