or the little heart, made with their hands, on their ute. *rolls eyes*
I guess I don't get why these are "annoying." Annoying to me is vaguebooking or posting every detail about every thing that goes on in one's life. If posting a photo announcing the sex of their baby from pinterest makes someone happy, I say go for it.
I'm not ashamed to admit my heart swelled when I saw how many "likes" and comments I got on my announcement on FB. It made me feel really, really loved. If it annoyed someone, that's their problem.
I will admit that I did too. I like more original announcements over the ones on Pinterest, but most any announcement is cute (maybe minus a pee stick one). I'm not annoyed by the ones that are over used, but I get more excited about original ones.
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
But isn't it equally important for the minority group to see that the government stands behind them? Especially since this came down through SCOTUS and not through legislation.
I think he should definitely speak up and say the White House is behind it, and also that it absolutely should not be a political issue, just that many have turned it into that. My only disagreement is that the actual building should not be a reflection. But I don't care that much either, since I did love seeing it lit up. But I also kind of love that this group is full of like-minded people on this topic. I'm tired of seeing woe is us Christian posts on my Facebook, it's sad.
Those people are not good Christians. Those people are afraid of what they don't know and are clinging to anything the can in order to defend their discomfort. They are picking and choosing which parts of the Bible to adhere to and are living blissfully unaware in their glass houses.
I'm a Christian and I support equality in all forms. My faith and the laws of this country don't intermingle.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jul 2, 2015 12:19:21 GMT -5
Sometimes I can understand a sex reveal party, but it's pretty dependent on the people - the folks who tried for years to get pregnant, the folks with twins and excited family, so on. I think what I side-eye is the reveal party + multiple showers + other things. Or a clear gift grab. We made a sex-reveal cake for my mom and it was fun. Unnecessary, but fun.
Announcements - the news is slowly leaking, but we'll put something on FB in another 8-10 weeks or so, and it's not going to be ground-breaking. Probably just a picture of DD in a big sister shirt. I'm tapped out on creativity right now.
I mean, the amount I care about cutesy vs the news itself is low. If I like the people, I'll probably "awwwwwww" whether it's hackneyed or overused or cleverly original or not. If I don't, I'll shrug.
My UO is I fully plan on having a c-section. Even before I knew I was having twins, (before last pregnancy), I knew it was what I always wanted. I give props to anyone who has natural births because I do not have the balls for it!
Now that I'm on a single pregnancy, I have the same feelings and still want another c-section. I have a lot of people telling me why it is wrong, dangerous, stupid, how my healing will be longer, etc. In the end it's what I want and I can't stand when people tell me it's wrong.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jul 2, 2015 12:23:42 GMT -5
I have lots of opinions on the confederate flag and the Dukes of Hazzard and gay marriage, but I don't think they are unpopular here.
I get Beach's point about planning the birth experience and also the counter-points. I think I lean more towards "Understand how little control you have and don't set yourself up for failure" but that comes from personal experience. I will admit I don't have patience for people who 'failed' during birth because they took meds when they wanted to go med-free or people who actually have shit like "After birth, I will have a Diet Coke with three ice cubes and a bendy straw within one hour of delivery." into their birth plans (that was a legit plan posted on TB waaaaaaaay back in the day). In keeping with the "Just you wait" thread, I will admit I eye-roll some of the people I encounter who have very definite ideas about birth/labor & delivery/parenting plans. My kids shredded my plans, my illusions of control and threw my parenting plans out the window. But I try not to be condescending and to bite my tongue, because who knows what their kids will do or how they'll be?
My UO is I fully plan on having a c-section. Even before I knew I was having twins, (before last pregnancy), I knew it was what I always wanted. I give props to anyone who has natural births because I do not have the balls for it!
Now that I'm on a single pregnancy, I have the same feelings and still want another c-section. I have a lot of people telling me why it is wrong, dangerous, stupid, how my healing will be longer, etc. In the end it's what I want and I can't stand when people tell me it's wrong.
My friends who had repeat C-sections had easy deliveries and recoveries. That's anecdotal, but there you are. I think it's between you and your doc. I personally wouldn't plan on a non-medically necessary C-section, but you do you with your doc and informed consent.
I don't understand why people place so much importance on a specific "birth experience", to the point that they're crushingly disappointed or cry bitterly if it doesn't go the way they wanted. There are just so many variables in play, it's unrealistic to think you can plan birth down to the very last detail. To me, birth is a means to an end. I literally give no fucks how this baby is born, as long as she's here and healthy when it's all said and done.
There is a negative side to over planning and setting yourself up for disappointment if things don't go exactly your way, but you can just as easily make it hard for yourself by NOT having any clue what to expect or plan for in a given situation.
We announced this baby with 2 immediate family parties (two, because we all couldn't get together for one on the same day).
My 3yo DD poured vinegar into a clear glass bowl filled with baking soda and a buried pink easter egg tab. It was an adorable, pink, foamy mess and we all loved it, especially DD. It was important for MH and I to make sure she was involved!
I was disappointed in getting a csection, I cried. It is a major surgery and I was alone. That was not the plan and it is a truly emotional experience, to have a big change at the last minute... Well it is rough.
Sometimes I can understand a sex reveal party, but it's pretty dependent on the people - the folks who tried for years to get pregnant, the folks with twins and excited family, so on. I think what I side-eye is the reveal party + multiple showers + other things. Or a clear gift grab. We made a sex-reveal cake for my mom and it was fun. Unnecessary, but fun.
*snip*
Wait, so you think that only people that try to get pregnant for years, or people who are having twins, or people who have excited families should have a sex reveal party? WTAF?
I was going to do a reveal, but then found out I was having twins and thought "fuck that shit!" Twins was a surprise enough!
I think whoever decides to do it should do whatever they want. It shouldn't matter on the circumstance or situation. I could care less, but it's not up to me to decide how a person decides to celebrate something.
We announced this baby with 2 immediate family parties (two, because we all couldn't get together for one on the same day).
My 3yo DD poured vinegar into a clear glass bowl filled with baking soda and a buried pink easter egg tab. It was an adorable, pink, foamy mess and we all loved it, especially DD. It was important for MH and I to make sure she was involved!
That is cute, and goes along with when I think they are on the right scale (immediate family). FTM, but I have thought about how if/when we are able to have a second, we would have this LO help by say opening a box with a colored balloon or something. Yours sounds super cute!!!
Eta: of course in this pipe dream, it is assuming that we would decide to find out the sex early. This pregnancy we are team green.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2015 13:26:39 GMT -5 by ldubhawksfan
**siggy warning**
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
I was disappointed in getting a csection, I cried. It is a major surgery and I was alone. That was not the plan and it is a truly emotional experience, to have a big change at the last minute... Well it is rough.
I haven't been through a c-section, but this is how I was thinking. Certain medical interventions are pretty huge- a c-section is a major surgery, often coming at a time when you are already exhausted mentally and physically. Plus once you have one section, you are likely to have repeat c-sections. I was not exactly thrilled to need a vacuum assist to get my daughter out, either, but I can't compare that experience (there were not complications) or having to be induced for being overdue with birth experiences that go completely and totally different than planned.
We announced this baby with 2 immediate family parties (two, because we all couldn't get together for one on the same day).
My 3yo DD poured vinegar into a clear glass bowl filled with baking soda and a buried pink easter egg tab. It was an adorable, pink, foamy mess and we all loved it, especially DD. It was important for MH and I to make sure she was involved!
That is cute, and goes along with when I think they are on the right scale (immediate family). FTM, but I have thought about how if/when we are able to have a second, we would have this LO help by say opening a box with a colored balloon or something. Yours sounds super cute!!!
Eta: of course in this pipe dream, it is assuming that we would decide to find out the sex early. This pregnancy we are team green.
Thank you I'd link the video, but it's hooked up to my FB. Stranger danger, and all
I was disappointed in getting a csection, I cried. It is a major surgery and I was alone. That was not the plan and it is a truly emotional experience, to have a big change at the last minute... Well it is rough.
I haven't been through a c-section, but this is how I was thinking. Certain medical interventions are pretty huge- a c-section is a major surgery, often coming at a time when you are already exhausted mentally and physically. Plus once you have one section, you are likely to have repeat c-sections. I was not exactly thrilled to need a vacuum assist to get my daughter out, either, but I can't compare that experience (there were not complications) or having to be induced for being overdue with birth experiences that go completely and totally different than planned.
This is very true. Being in labor for a long ass time, then having a c-section would be a horrible experience.
I haven't been through a c-section, but this is how I was thinking. Certain medical interventions are pretty huge- a c-section is a major surgery, often coming at a time when you are already exhausted mentally and physically. Plus once you have one section, you are likely to have repeat c-sections. I was not exactly thrilled to need a vacuum assist to get my daughter out, either, but I can't compare that experience (there were not complications) or having to be induced for being overdue with birth experiences that go completely and totally different than planned.
This is very true. Being in labor for a long ass time, then having a c-section would be a horrible experience.
I had been pushing for over three hours when they did the vacuum. If that hadn't worked it would have been a c-section. I was already crying just from the pushing, you bet your ass I would have cried if I had to go through surgery following that.
Sometimes I can understand a sex reveal party, but it's pretty dependent on the people - the folks who tried for years to get pregnant, the folks with twins and excited family, so on. I think what I side-eye is the reveal party + multiple showers + other things. Or a clear gift grab. We made a sex-reveal cake for my mom and it was fun. Unnecessary, but fun.
*snip*
Wait, so you think that only people that try to get pregnant for years, or people who are having twins, or people who have excited families should have a sex reveal party? WTAF?
Nooooooo. I'm saying I totally get why these folks especially do it. I don't care what anyone else does. Have a party! Parties are fun! Unless you are a greedy-gift-grabbing person. Then I care enough to side-eye.
I watch sex reveals on youtube when I'm bored. I like sex reveals and sex reveal parties. It's fun to see the bated breath and the screaming when the sex is revealed.
ETA: I was clearly thinking faster than I was typing and I didn't explain well. I was responding generally to 'do not like' and thinking, eh, whatever, but especially in these cases, even if I did not like, I'd understand because it's pretty special to get to do something like that when you think you will never get to have kids or something. Bah. I shouldn't try to communicate when I'm this tired.
Post by jumpingpuddles on Jul 2, 2015 13:39:27 GMT -5
I get excited to know the sex of a baby, even if I am not close with the parents. I don't know why. But if you want to give me free cake when you tell me what you are having, I will absolutely attend your reveal party. I'll go to just about any type of party for some good cake.
I don't understand why people place so much importance on a specific "birth experience", to the point that they're crushingly disappointed or cry bitterly if it doesn't go the way they wanted. There are just so many variables in play, it's unrealistic to think you can plan birth down to the very last detail. To me, birth is a means to an end. I literally give no fucks how this baby is born, as long as she's here and healthy when it's all said and done.
There is a negative side to over planning and setting yourself up for disappointment if things don't go exactly your way, but you can just as easily make it hard for yourself by NOT having any clue what to expect or plan for in a given situation.
I think there's a happy medium between being completely fucking clueless about birth and planning everything down to the last minor detail (i.e. a Diet Coke with 3 ice cubes and a bendy straw.) Women should have an idea of what they want going in to labor. They should absolutely do their research on the different interventions available to them. They should also understand that some things are out of their control and plan accordingly.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jul 2, 2015 13:53:55 GMT -5
I think one of the things I hate about certain unmedicated birth programs (which is perhaps teacher dependent rather than the program itself) is the way that they can set women up to feel like failures. Birth is unpredictable, the pain is unpredictable. Being prepared and understanding the general process is important for everyone, I think. But some programs have this mindset of 'you cannot allow yourself to think of this as an option' and give information about interventions which is scary and often-times out of context, and make women feel like failures for needing an induction or having medication after a long labor or needing a C-section or make them inclined not to trust their doctor or encourage an adversarial relationship with their doctors and nurses. And I think that's bullshit. It isn't all programs, of course, but I hate the absolutism on either side when it's a medical event which is so very unpredictable.
I don't think that means you can't feel upset over how your birth went, because that is some pretty deep-seated stuff. I just wish people wouldn't set themselves up for failure from the outset by rigidity to a strict plan (life-advice, I think, not birth advice).
I was disappointed in getting a csection, I cried. It is a major surgery and I was alone. That was not the plan and it is a truly emotional experience, to have a big change at the last minute... Well it is rough.
I haven't been through a c-section, but this is how I was thinking. Certain medical interventions are pretty huge- a c-section is a major surgery, often coming at a time when you are already exhausted mentally and physically. Plus once you have one section, you are likely to have repeat c-sections. I was not exactly thrilled to need a vacuum assist to get my daughter out, either, but I can't compare that experience (there were not complications) or having to be induced for being overdue with birth experiences that go completely and totally different than planned.
I had a C-section with DD1 after being in labor for 24 hours and failing to progress past 5 cm. By the time I got to surgery I was exhausted and starving and loopy from all the drugs. I remember DD1 being born, and not much else after that. She spent the first 4 hours of her life in the nursery because I kept passing out in recovery and was too out of it to hold her or nurse her. It wasn't a great birth experience, and I'm glad I get to avoid it with DD2. But honestly, in the long run it didn't matter to me: DD1 was here, and healthy, and got plenty of love and snuggles from then on.
So yeah, I understand being disappointed with the way labor unfolds. Mine certainly sucked. And I'm not trying to judge anyone's feelings - people feel how they feel. I just don't see how a labor that ends with a healthy baby in your arms could be viewed as a "failure".
My sister is planning a reveal party for us. I really don't care either way. She wanted to throw me a shower (second pregnancy), but I told her no on that. She really wants to do something for this baby, like she did for S, and I'm not going to be a party pooper for her.
Some people feel that every baby should be celebrated, and since second showers are frowned upon, some people think that reveal parties are a good alternative.
I think one of the things I hate about certain unmedicated birth programs (which is perhaps teacher dependent rather than the program itself) is the way that they can set women up to feel like failures. Birth is unpredictable, the pain is unpredictable. Being prepared and understanding the general process is important for everyone, I think. But some programs have this mindset of 'you cannot allow yourself to think of this as an option' and give information about interventions which is scary and often-times out of context, and make women feel like failures for needing an induction or having medication after a long labor or needing a C-section or make them inclined not to trust their doctor or encourage an adversarial relationship with their doctors and nurses. And I think that's bullshit. It isn't all programs, of course, but I hate the absolutism on either side when it's a medical event which is so very unpredictable.
I don't think that means you can't feel upset over how your birth went, because that is some pretty deep-seated stuff. I just wish people wouldn't set themselves up for failure from the outset by rigidity to a strict plan (life-advice, I think, not birth advice).
Hell, that's parenting advice too!
+1
I read so often that women who have home births do so for a variety of reasons, one of them being so they can't be 'tempted' to have an epidural or other medication. I think this is one of the situations that perpetuate fear and failure and the feeling that 'Wahhh! I'm not going to get my mom trophy because I am weak if I accept intervention!'
No woman who goes through the birth process (no matter HOW it ended) is weak or failure. EVER.
I don't understand why people place so much importance on a specific "birth experience", to the point that they're crushingly disappointed or cry bitterly if it doesn't go the way they wanted. There are just so many variables in play, it's unrealistic to think you can plan birth down to the very last detail. To me, birth is a means to an end. I literally give no fucks how this baby is born, as long as she's here and healthy when it's all said and done.
To an extent I agree with this. However, unless my child is in danger and immediate medical attention needs to be given to save his life, I should have the say so in every step and intervention. This is my body, my child. Will I break down, no I have been through three labor and deliveries and I know it never goes as planned, or should I say the way I want it to go. If I have stipulations that I demand to be adhered to because I feel it is in my child's best interest, then I expect them to be upheld. The Doctor is not God and does not have a say so in what happens to my child in a "normal" delivery.
Example, I want to hold my child immediately upon delivery and delayed cord clamping/cutting. This should be my right. With my first born over 15 years ago, she had mecconium in the amniotic fluid. Thank goodness there was no aspiration, but she needed to be evaluated immediately after birth. My born over 14 years ago had major decels during labor in an almost emergency csection. She need evaluation. My last birth over 12 years ago...I got to hold him.
I find the whole discussion about bad labor experiences to be very condescending. Just because you, personally, don't have strong feelings about it, doesn't make it wrong for someone else to. Labor is a very intimate and emotional experience that women only get to experience a limited number of times in their life. I don't find it unreasonable to be deeply disappointed or hurt if it doesn't go they way you hope.
I gave zero fucks about my wedding. You could have ripped my dress or dropped my cake and I wouldn't have been phased. But some women would feel that their day was "ruined". It shouldn't matter though, right? Because at the end of the day they are in love and got married. So it can't possibly be a "failure". Except, it isn't about me. If that's how someone feels, that is their right. And I would 100% understand them for feeling that way.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jul 2, 2015 15:13:55 GMT -5
I don't disagree with what you are saying bunnyfungo, but as an imperfect human, I can't help but eyeroll someone being upset that she didn't get her diet coke with bendy straw and three ice cubes an hour after delivery, because it's ridiculous.
That is not at all on the same level as someone who is struggling to reconcile an emergency C-section with their hopes for an unmedicated labor. Or even someone who just had a difficult, scary delivery with a good outcome. I do understand all the feelings, and of course people are allowed to feel what they feel, but that doesn't mean I don't wish that people didn't create the expectations that are extremely rigid and likely to lead to disappointment or feeling of failure.
Post by anonymouseliza on Jul 2, 2015 15:16:24 GMT -5
Random aside about sex - I love finding out and reveals and telling people. But why *do* we get so excited? It's 50% odds of being one or the other, and I don't think my reactions are ever *not* really excited, whatever the outcome.
I told one of my friends it was a boy and she got super excited and then started laughing and saying "I don't know why I'm so excited, I'd be equally excited about a girl. This is silly!"
I give up. Will someone please help me explain to my BMB why throwing yourself a second shower is tacky AF.
Ugh. I've never understood the reasoning behind this. Never mind the fact that it's rude and tacky as fuck. Why wouldn't you just take the money you would have spent on a big fancy party and buy the things you need for your baby yourself?
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