Bi-weekly Vodka and Hugs 7/7

[sarcaztic10]

Yet again, I am a total slacker... I have been thinking about posting this for like the last week but I am just now getting around to it. Welcome to our first official vodka and hugs check-in! 

Tell us whats up!! How are you? 

[sarcaztic10]

Hi ladies,

Not much is happening with me right now. I am waiting (im)patiently for my consult with my RE to see if she wants to remove the polyp they saw on my HSG. I am going to push to remove it and I hope that we can get that done next cycle. Until then we are just NTNP.

[elliecat17]

I love the official name change!!!
Yay for Vodka and Hugs!!! Which leads me to: Vodka and lemonade are delicious, and perhaps I shall go sit in the pool this afternoon with one...

I am currently doing research for an interview this evening. It's with the same school I had an interview with at the end of June. They said if this one with the board goes well they may fly me out for a meeting in person! I am nervous and excited. If I get this job H and I are moving to the New York/Connecticut border. It will be sad because we own our house here, but seriously we need to move away from his family for a while. Also there are more graphic design positions there then here. I am also working on a behavior management plan for a student with anger issues. Also next week are the concerts for Beethoven's Ninth, so it's getting a little crazy busy here!

As for everything else we are in the TWW now. I shall try not to go too crazy.

Love to all of you!!

[kateisoptimistic]

Vodka makes me want to hug everything!

nothings happening over here, same old thing, different month. Lots of work, lots of travel, blargh. We missed our FW last week since i was away so we are out again this month. I'm trying not to be bitter but its hard. I did just hit platinum in my frequent flier status program though (is it weird for me to be so excited about this?)

in other news we have a week vacation next month and I am trying hard to lose weight and get toned up.

Love you ladies!

[sarcaztic10]

elliecat17 you have got a lot going on! I am sending you good vibes and wishing you luck for your interview!

kateisoptimistic I try not to be bitter too... Most of the time I do not succeed. We can be bitter together while drinking all the vodka.

[kateisoptimistic]

Jul 7, 2015 14:34:28 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

elliecat17 you have got a lot going on! I am sending you good vibes and wishing you luck for your interview!

kateisoptimistic I try not to be bitter too... Most of the time I do not succeed. We can be bitter together while drinking all the vodka.

[sarcaztic10]

Jul 7, 2015 14:49:39 GMT -5 kateisoptimistic said:

Jul 7, 2015 14:34:28 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

elliecat17 you have got a lot going on! I am sending you good vibes and wishing you luck for your interview!

kateisoptimistic I try not to be bitter too... Most of the time I do not succeed. We can be bitter together while drinking all the vodka.

I feel like I should put this in my siggy... It speaks to me. 

[kateisoptimistic]

Jul 7, 2015 14:52:25 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

Jul 7, 2015 14:49:39 GMT -5 kateisoptimistic said:

I feel like I should put this in my siggy... It speaks to me. 

DO IT!!!!!

[sarcaztic10]

Jul 7, 2015 16:02:10 GMT -5 kateisoptimistic said:

Jul 7, 2015 14:52:25 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

DO IT!!!!!

Done, this is totally my spirit siggy. 

[4furrypaws]

Hi my loves!

So I started back on the pill last week. Meh. I figured I'd just do it no matter what our future holds...stopping or IVF.

Had a nice 4th cookout with the family over at our house. The estate sale at my Mom's house went well. The clean out crew has everything removed from the house at this point. We lost the potential buyers we had, bummer there...but hoping someone else will come along. Hoping things settle down some with that scene.

Starting 'complicated grief therapy' with my shrink next week to hopefully get 'unstuck' from the unexpected loss of my Aunt last July.

Also going to start more small group training sessions at my gym starting next week. I purchased a month pass that enables you to take as many as you want. Busy Furry!

Hope you are all well...loving the vodka and hugs!! And sarcaztic10 maybe we should all add that to our siggy...very fitting for me as well!

Loves and Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[cavewmn]

I am so sorry this is long.

Cliff notes:
I O'd (Was a little worried with longer cycles)

Dh saw doctor.
-Testosterone patches prescribed.
- Going to get sperm consult
-If these fail we will be seeing an endocrinologist and or fertility clinic.

FF finally showed I O'd on the 5th. Of course now I want to murder DH's friend for not picking up the Keurig on the 4th. DH was so worried he would show up in the middle of things he tried to perform but didn't finish. Oh well.
At least I know I O'd this month and when.

DH saw his doctor today!
He just got prescribed a testosterone patch (I am guessing this will be mailed to us since all his other meds are)
He is also getting a non-va care consult for a sperm check.
She is not only willing to do the endocrinologist referral if he wants but also willing to do a infertility referral.
I think we will do the patches and sperm check first and go from there.
These might seem like little steps but it is so much better than just waiting.

Even with good timing it took us 4 years to get pregnant. Why would it change this time.
This year I am mainly trying to focus on the why and finding out our options.
Plus having any sort of sex life outside of TTC.

***Huge rant about sex***
TBH: I'm getting so frustrated with people saying anything about how hard it must be for him to perform. And the anxiety that it must cause. This is what most people don't get, it is one thing to not be able to perform for our FW. It is another thing to not be able to perform at anytime. I can't even come on to my DH or he won't be able to perform. If I get laid 5 times in a month, that is a fucking great month(This doesn't mean he finishes). But there are months where nothing happens at all. It may be anxiety for him but it does give me a mental hit. I start questioning myself. Does he not find me sexy anymore, maybe it's my fault, and so on. Worse of all I have to hide all this from Dh because it might make things worse for him. It's just such a vicious circle and to not let the circle keep going I have to keep things to myself.

[cavewmn]

sarcaztic10, I hope you don't have to push real hard to get it removed. If it helps even a little with TTC it would be worth it.

elliecat17, I keep trying to drink alcohol. So far I probably could keep down a shot of vodka. lol I hope your interview went well. We also want to move away from DH's family!!! At least you already know there are jobs for your DH out there.

kateisoptimistic, Yay for platinum member! I am excited to even be VIP for Disney Movie Club. I get excited easily..... What are your plans to lose weight and tone up?
I love the Bitter Bitches Drink Vodka. I sort of want to start using this when talking to friends. BBDV for short. For me I guess it would be BBDC - Bitter Bitches Drink Caffeine.

crimpgirl, Any step is a big step when the journey is this fucking long. Let me know if they think your nodule could being impacting your TTC. FX I get all the rain and you get none.

4furrypaws, I'm tempted to start the pill just to see if it would straighten out my cycles. I am glad you are at least one step closer on getting the house sold. It always sucks to lose potential buyers but hopefully more will come soon. I hope the complicated grief therapy helps. *hugs*

Also thank you so much ladies for letting me be apart of your group.

[sarcaztic10]

crimpgirl Good luck with the RE appointment! Let us know how it goes!

cavewmn Yay for YH getting a plan of action! I would like to say try not to question yourself or go down that hole. I know it is so hard when so much of our lives focus on TTC but YH loves you and and I am sure that he would not want you thinking anything is your fault just like you wouldn't want him thinking anything is his fault in this journey. Those kind of thoughts can eat away at you.

4furrypaws so glad the estate sale went well but it sucks that you lost the potential buyers. Hopefully everything goes really smoothly and you find new buyers soon. Also what do you think of the below?

[sarcaztic10]

Jul 8, 2015 13:32:47 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

crimpgirl Good luck with the RE appointment! Let us know how it goes!

cavewmn Yay for YH getting a plan of action! I would like to say try not to question yourself or go down that hole. I know it is so hard when so much of our lives focus on TTC but YH loves you and and I am sure that he would not want you thinking anything is your fault just like you wouldn't want him thinking anything is his fault in this journey. Those kind of thoughts can eat away at you.

4furrypaws so glad the estate sale went well but it sucks that you lost the potential buyers. Hopefully everything goes really smoothly and you find new buyers soon. Also what do you think of the below?

4furrypaws, or this one?



Ok, its time for me to go back to work and stop playing around 

[sarcaztic10]

@eliida Sending you lots of (((hugs))). You are right, 12 DPO is early but I totally understand how you feel. Ugh Dr.'s bills piss me off in the first place but that whole situation would make me ragey! I would be tempted to tell the manager "I am sorry your being such a jerk but that isn't helping you is it?"

[cavewmn]

@eliida, Billing is never fun. I can't believe they sent you to collections for $10. *Hugs*

sarcaztic10, @eliida, Thanks for enforcing that it isn't my fault. It's hard not to climb down the rabbit hole but having the support here helps a ton to keep from it.

[4furrypaws]

Jul 8, 2015 13:32:47 GMT -5 sarcaztic10 said:

crimpgirl Good luck with the RE appointment! Let us know how it goes!

cavewmn Yay for YH getting a plan of action! I would like to say try not to question yourself or go down that hole. I know it is so hard when so much of our lives focus on TTC but YH loves you and and I am sure that he would not want you thinking anything is your fault just like you wouldn't want him thinking anything is his fault in this journey. Those kind of thoughts can eat away at you.

4furrypaws so glad the estate sale went well but it sucks that you lost the potential buyers. Hopefully everything goes really smoothly and you find new buyers soon. Also what do you think of the below?

L

O

V

E

!!!!!!!!

[elliecat17]

@eliida I just got an email from them today! The board apparently LOVED me and they called my religious references and they apparently spoke highly of me. (It's a job with a Catholic School that wants to make sure it's teacher is in good standing with the Catholic church). Now they will call work related references. Keeping busy is making the time fly.

And Huge ((hugs)) to you about collections.

[lizblue]

Huge hugs and tall glasses of vodka to all my peeps. I love y'all- you make me feel normal.

cavewmn I wanted to let you know that we are still climbing out of the same hole. As a result of five years of IF and our losses, MH deals with ED because of anxiety. When I am dealing well, I am completely supportive and loving and know not to put extra pressure on him. I'd like to say I'm always like this, but I'm not. Frustration gets the better of me and I get upset and feel sad and like it must be me. It's not me. It's not you. And I know MH is sad and frightened too. And I know he is trying.

My only advice is keep loving each other, talking to each other and trying to stay intimate. We are done TTC so I thought all his issues would magically be over. They are not but they're getting better. We are not opposed to seeing a therapist and both agree that anytime one of us wants to we will go.

This is so hard. Big ((hugs)).

[lizblue]

As for me, we are almost done creating our adoption profile. It is taking much longer than I thought and has been the hardest part of the process. I am a writer and a creative person (with more than a touch of OCD) so of course I'd like it to be perfect. It's only the document a birth mom will use to pick us to parent her child. No pressure!

But after that, we'll be officially waiting for a baby. It's still surreal but I suppose I should start thinking of it in real terms soon. Because babies need stuff?

Thanks for listening ladies and for always checking in. Xo

[sarcaztic10]

lizblue So glad that you are almost done with your adoption profile. I imagine it is really tough to try to put your family and lifestyle into words while also describing how much you would love the birth mothers/your future child. I have pondered what our adoption profile would be if we moved on to adoption but I totally suck at that stuff and I am afraid that if it came down to adoption for us the only thing I would be able to say is "Were great! Pick us!" Which is totally pathetic. I am always keeping my FX for you, I am sure that you did an amazing job on your profile!

[cavewmn]

lizblue, Thank you so much for your kind words. And also the insight of that this problem won't magically fade away if we get pregnant or our journey ends. I wish you all the luck in the world and know you will do a great job. It is hard to be really honest while making yourself look like Mary Poppins.

[lizblue]

Jul 11, 2015 7:45:17 GMT -5 @eliida said:

Update on me: IUI#3 of officially BFN. And here's a fun bonus, the day after I got into it with that bitch from billing (who had all my credit card and security info) someone went shopping online with my info. I'm having a really hard time not jumping to conclusions.

I'm sorry for the BFN what are next steps?

and if the billing bitch really did that, then she is a sad sack of shit and I'd hate to be her.

How's that for kind and thoughtful?

((Hugs))

[sarcaztic10]

Jul 11, 2015 7:45:17 GMT -5 @eliida said:

Update on me: IUI#3 of officially BFN. And here's a fun bonus, the day after I got into it with that bitch from billing (who had all my credit card and security info) someone went shopping online with my info. I'm having a really hard time not jumping to conclusions.

I am so sorry (((hugs)))

What?? If that woman did that she is a big pile of shit! Why would someone do that?

[cavewmn]

@eliida, *Hugs* That is just fucked up. I would have a hard time not jumping to conclusion especially with the timing.

[elliecat17]

@eliida well she's a complete idiot to think that that won't be the first place they try tracking the usage!

[cavewmn]

renegadewhit, I am sorry about the fight with your Aunt. I hope things can be worked out between you two. Yay! Glad your appointment went well with your doctor and you don't have to see him for two months! Keep up the awesome work!

[o2girl]

Jul 8, 2015 12:43:33 GMT -5 cavewmn said:

I am so sorry this is long.

Cliff notes:
I O'd (Was a little worried with longer cycles)

Dh saw doctor.
-Testosterone patches prescribed.
- Going to get sperm consult
-If these fail we will be seeing an endocrinologist and or fertility clinic.

FF finally showed I O'd on the 5th. Of course now I want to murder DH's friend for not picking up the Keurig on the 4th. DH was so worried he would show up in the middle of things he tried to perform but didn't finish. Oh well.
At least I know I O'd this month and when.

DH saw his doctor today!
He just got prescribed a testosterone patch (I am guessing this will be mailed to us since all his other meds are)
He is also getting a non-va care consult for a sperm check.
She is not only willing to do the endocrinologist referral if he wants but also willing to do a infertility referral.
I think we will do the patches and sperm check first and go from there.
These might seem like little steps but it is so much better than just waiting.

Even with good timing it took us 4 years to get pregnant. Why would it change this time.
This year I am mainly trying to focus on the why and finding out our options.
Plus having any sort of sex life outside of TTC.

***Huge rant about sex***
TBH: I'm getting so frustrated with people saying anything about how hard it must be for him to perform. And the anxiety that it must cause. This is what most people don't get, it is one thing to not be able to perform for our FW. It is another thing to not be able to perform at anytime. I can't even come on to my DH or he won't be able to perform. If I get laid 5 times in a month, that is a fucking great month(This doesn't mean he finishes). But there are months where nothing happens at all. It may be anxiety for him but it does give me a mental hit. I start questioning myself. Does he not find me sexy anymore, maybe it's my fault, and so on. Worse of all I have to hide all this from Dh because it might make things worse for him. It's just such a vicious circle and to not let the circle keep going I have to keep things to myself.

So many ((((hugs))))

I can imagine that my H feels the way you do. I could literally go months without sex. I have zero libido since starting all my IVF crap 3 years ago. MH is lucky to get laid twice per month and I know he sometimes feels like I must not find him attractive. That isn't the case. I'm just so tapped out physically and emotionally that I have no room for getting turned on and most of the time if MH does get some, I've checked out and just lay there. It's super hard on a marriage. So lots more (((((hugs))))) to you for that.

[o2girl]

Jul 8, 2015 14:24:25 GMT -5 @eliida said:

AFM, I'm not in a great place right now. 12dpiui and tested negative. I know it's a smidge early (I'm supposed to call the office on Friday) but I'm really losing hope. It probably didn't help that the doctor had me schedule our ivf consult at the iui.

Meanwhile, the office keeps pissing me off. I completely lost it this morning with their billing department.

Short version: Their billing system is flawed and the different branches don't communicate. The system goes down enough that I've had a bitch of a time trying to pay. (I'm condensing this but it's like pulling teeth.) Last week I finally got through to a person, paid in full, and was assured that everything was covered. When I complained that the hassle of their system made me feel like a deadbeat they told me that they didn't send to collections. Imagine my rage when a letter from a collections agency arrived today over $10. Yup, ten! I was able to keep it marginally together until this supervisor says (in response to my complaint), "I'm sorry you feel that way."

How is that an apology for your shit system fucking with my credit? You don't get to apologize for my feelings. I've been so worked up about it that I'm considering changing doctors. Then again, there's always something, right? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Sorry for the novel.

(((((Hugs))))))

[o2girl]

Jul 11, 2015 18:35:57 GMT -5 renegadewhit said:

Sorry I'm so late this week. I've had one hell of a week. Work is good but busy, but the big reason I'm exhausted is a big fight with my aunt. I'm doing everything I can to diffuse the situation, but she just keeps escalating and getting meaner and meaner, so I had to back away from the whole thing. She's one of my best friends, but she doesn't communicate when something bothers her, so instead it builds and builds until she explodes at me, and I'm completely blindsided. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now, so I'm hoping she cools off and we can move on.

On the surgery front, I had my follow-up with my surgeon on Monday, and I don't have to go back for 2 months. Everything looks good, and he removed all of my workout restrictions. I'm still dehydrated, but working on it, and I'm doing well with the food plan. Now that I can eat lunch meats I feel much more normal, and this week I can add quinoa, lettuce, and bread! I'm just two weeks away from crunchy vegetables and tomatoes!! My weight loss has slowed, but I lost 3-4 pounds this week. If I can keep that up, I'll be in good shape. After a plateau last week, I'm glad I'm getting back to losing weight!

I'm sorry about your fight with your aunt. (((((Hugs)))))
As for the healing..... Whoop whoop for feeling normal again! Awesome work lovey