When to think about all the crap?

[radiantly]

Hi all, I'm only 8 1/2 weeks and not quite thinking about the baby gear yet... I live in a NYC Brooklyn apartment , 1br 1 bath and we don't plan to move.  We could never afford another place in the city that we like and we want to eventually move out to a more country life... So anyway, all that to say that we don't exactly have a lot of space but we do think we can make a nice home with a baby if we are smart.

I'm curious when people who are FTMs start to get a good grip on what you need and how much time does it involve?  Do people spend hours at work surfing the baby gear review sites or do some people perhaps just go to a one-stop-shop (I assume like Buy Buy Baby although I have yet to step inside) and figure it all out there?  I'm wary of all the unnecessary stuff and I certainly don't want to buy anything I won't use.  There are tons of those 10 things you need/10 things you don't lists, but I'm asking here about YOUR experience and how much time/research you put in.

Thanks!

[flcl]

Congrats!! In terms of when to start thinking about crap, that's totally up to you and how much research you want to put into things. I think I registered for stuff after 6-7months. It's really amazing how much you can accumulate for a tiny little human and in all honesty, you really don't need much. Necessities: somewhere for LO to sleep, car seat, a few clothes, diapers, bottles & a pump if you plan on BFing. A carrier was a need for me. But, even with how much we tried to skim, we ended up with way too many toys, way too many strollers and way too much stuff that just sits in the garage and basement... It's such a shame. Some of the gear is used for such a short amount of time and some are just so pricey.

[masonjar]

The only thing that I really researched was car seats. It was important for me to feel that I was making the best choice in that department.

I got a pack n play with the sleeper and all that on top. All that jazz wasn't necessary. If you want a pack n play for later, I would just get the basic one and save some money.

A rock n play sleeper and a swing saved my butt so many times. My LO is almost 7 months and I still use both of those things.

I've also gotten a ton of use out of our stroller. I got one that was compatible with out car seat so that I could use it from the get go.

If you're planning on breast feeding, I also recommend a Boppy pillow.

It can be overwhelming. If you have any specific questions I can try to help. Congrats on your pregnancy!

[Deleted]

I'm the crazy neurotic person who spent months researching EVERY. SINGLE. THING. At the end of the day, it's up to you. Research what you think you might want if you want to. Realistically you only need a place for baby to sleep (be it a pnp,rnp, crib or the floor) bottles, a pacifier if you're using them, a pump (maybe), clothes, diapers, maybe some baby shampoo, burp cloths and a carseat. Strollers are handy but not required if you're going to baby wear. Baby bath tub is not necessary. Nursing pillow while nice is not necessary. I have a space saving swing that is amazing and a high chair that goes on the current kitchen chairs.


Also you can pick up a bunch of these things second-hand on craigslist because as PP said, a lot of the gear is used for such a short amount of time that most of it is still in like new condition.

[ellabee]

I took a bit of a shortcut and browsed registries of people I knew who's opinion I trusted and had babies. I also put together my registry and then had friends let me know what they thought of it to see if there was anything I missed or stuff I didn't really need. That was super helpful.

I agree that you don't need half the stuff people say are "essentials". We also live in a small space so I get it.

flcl gave you a good list. I'd add a few a+a swaddling blankets. You might want a stroller or carrier, (especially if you don't have a car in the city.)

I also didn't start thinking about all the baby stuff until around 6-7 months. You have plenty of time!

[kmc84]

Lucie's List is a pretty good place to start. She gives great reviews and her registry list is one of the more practical ones I've ever seen.

[radiantly]

Awesome this was helpful! We will definitely get a stroller bc I will want to take lots of walks and we do not have a car in the city (or anywhere else ha!) Though we do need to have a car seat otherwise they don't let you go home from the hospital. Anyone else that chimes in after I'm more than happy for more advice!

[puppyspit]

I started putting together a Target registry wayyyyy early because it was easy to change and Target is great with returns and exchanges, plus their prices are pretty competitive

I found a couple of Mommy blogs that I liked and agreed with on their style, they just made sense to me. Then I followed their product recommendations

You will hear it over and over (and if you're like me you will NOT heed the warning): most baby items you should wait on until you get a feel for your LOs personality. Things like pacifiers, bottles, swings, bouncers, walkers, crib, etc can all wait

I liked the mindset of AlphaMom (plus she has a fantastic, down-to-Earth weekly updates)


As for my research of specific brands or items, I gave the generic list of things I wanted for the baby to my DH and told him to mark off the ones that interested him. He chose the baby monitor, white noise machine, humidifier (all the electronics). I then selected one big ticket item a week to research. This way I couldn't obsess forever (had to have a choice made by the end of the week) and I wasn't overwhelming myself by looking at everything at the same time

PS- make sure you measure you car seat vs your car before you fall in love with a model that won't fit in your vehicle...

[jil]

I agree with pps, try to stick with necessities. When my DD was born we lived in a one bedroom in Astoria. We got a bassinet for the first few months and then got a mini crib to save some space. If you're getting a stroller definitely look for an over the door hook for it, if you don't have lobby storage.

We did get a car seat even though we didn't have a car. We used it for taxis, rental cars and when people came to visit. Also for me, a baby carrier was a must for buses and subways. I hated bringing the stroller up and down the stairs.

I started researching for my registry around 20 weeks, but I don't think there is a right/wrong time to start. I've never had a job where I could use the internet for personal use. i read books and magazines about baby gear/parenting on my commute too.

The Buybuybaby in Chelsea is super overwhelming. There is so much stuff! I made the mistake of going on a Saturday when I was about 5 months pregnant.

Not sure of your budget, they did have a variety of price points for strollers, swings, cribs etc and a lot of the lower cost items are along the back walls. At least that was true 2 years ago! I found the sales people to be very helpful especially if I told them my budget first so they didn't waste time showing me $1000+ strollers!

There are lots of blogs about parenting in NYC that talk about how to fit your nessecities into small spaces. Good luck!

[queenbabee]

My only recommendation would be get the necessities as PP have suggested, but keep an open mind on the "other stuff". Not everything is for everybaby. For example, we researched the hell out of baby carriers. Our LO hated the one we got. I tried 4 more until finding one he liked. Same thing goes for bottles. Every baby is different in what they will take. Pacifiers too. Register for a couple different kinds of those things so you can "sample" and find baby's faves before you break the bank or go crazy researching before LO's arrival.

[jobotrobot]

We are also FTM and have a 1bd 1 bath place that we love and won't leave for another year at the least. I did a lot of research on baby gear and although having a nursery would be lovely, it's not a necessity. So you need a place for baby to sleep, a method of eating (breast, bottles, formula), somewhere to bathe them (sink or baby tub), clothes, diapers, and a way to carry them (stroller, baby carrier, arms). That's pretty much it.

If people give you gifts, a lot of it may not be used right away or may be too bulky (exersaucer for example). You can always return stuff and get a gift card and buy things as you need. We are lucky that both grandmas offered to babysit while we go to work so a lot of gear may make its way to their houses.

Good luck and congrats!

[luckynumbers]

Although I don't have the same space situation as you, I tend to be a bit of a minimalist and start freaking out when things get cluttered, so I didn't want a lot of stuff either. DD is 8 months old, and it seems we've found a happy point in terms of the "stuff".

First, what PP's have said about waiting to see is great advice. I asked the old Baby Gear board what one "activity" item I would need (swing/rocker/bouncer/mat) and the consensus was that I would "need" everything b/c they're all useful for different things. While that might be the case for some people, it turned out not to be for us (thank God!).

Here's what we got that we actually used or still use:
- Bassinet (before she moved to her crib)
- Kiinde system for breastfeeding (freaking love it)
- Breast pump
- Stroller/travel system (for you I recommend talking to other city moms about what worked best for them)
- Boppy (I didn't think I would want/need, but I had an unplanned c-section, and it was GREAT!)
- White noise app (if you have a tablet/iPad, I'd use that instead of buying a separate sound machine)
- Humidifier
- An infant to toddler rocker (vibrates and rocks - Fisher Price I think)
- Swaddle/receiving blankets (we didn't use A&A, but I've heard great things)

For other things, like carriers, bottles, and pacifiers, it's going to be trial and error. For stashing stuff, I highly recommend some storage ottomans and other space savers, but I'm sure you already have a handle on that sort of thing living in a 1 br apartment.

[franklymydear]

Everyone has given you great advice... One thing I want to add is that don't feel like you need to buy all the things before baby comes. After the baby is born you will want to get out of the house and I found that shopping was my go to. We bought our play mat, high chair (which straps onto our table to save space) and other toys after DD was born.

[luckynumbers]

Jan 28, 2015 11:40:21 GMT -5 franklymydear said:

Everyone has given you great advice... One thing I want to add is that don't feel like you need to buy all the things before baby comes. After the baby is born you will want to get out of the house and I found that shopping was my go to. We bought our play mat, high chair (which straps onto our table to save space) and other toys after DD was born.

+1 on the space-saving high chair.

[mully626]

You can start thinking of everything whenever you want. I registered just after 20 weeks (after we found out the sex) but researched (mostly by lurking and asking questions on TB) the things that I thought we really wanted and needed.

In that small of a space, there and things that you most likely won't need, like a bassinet (because I'm assuming baby will likely be in your room anyway?) or a monitor (pretty sure you could likely hear everything in an apartment). The things you'd likely want to really research is what do you want baby to sleep in? A mini crib might be a good option or a full size crib if you have the space. A stroller and/or carrier would be another thing to put some research into since it will be your main mode of transportation. The Baby Jogger City Mini is a very popular stroller, as is the Britax B-agile (very similar). As for carriers, there are a ton of options. Baby Bjorns are not highly recommended (they are 'crotch danglers, not great for baby's hips, and get uncomfortable to wear within a few months) but there are lots of other options mentioned in the baby wearers thread. Another thing to think about that hasn't been mentioned is a place to change baby. I'm not a fan of changing diapers on beds/floors/etc. because it can get messy, but a changing pad on top of a dresser (Ikea Hemnes) worked great for us so no need for a specific changing table.

Just remember to think about your lifestyle and what things you really see yourself using or not.

[speedymarie]

If you are looking to save space, I highly recommend the Tiny Love 3-in-1 Rocker/Napper. I used it as LOs bassinet next to our bed for the first 4 months. It lays flat as a bassinet, but you can easily adjust it up to either a rocking seat or a still seat. It has a mobile with different kinds of music, and it vibrates. I live in a small apartment too, and this was my fave thing. I could easily carry it from the bedroom to the living room to the kitchen with one hand. I prefer it over the Rock n Play because this can lay flat, which is the recommended sleeping position (provided baby doesn't have reflux issues, or some other reason for sleeping reclined), but if it turns out baby does need to be reclined, it is an option.

www.amazon.com/Tiny-Love-Rocker-Napper-Brown/dp/B0073DNYSW/

[sugarbean17]

I had way too much crap with DD. I think it's easy to go overboard with stuff the first time around. I would say my list of must haves after 2 kids and a lot of research/trial and error are..

A good diaper bag with a changing pad in it. (Then you don't need a changing table the baby can be changed anywhere.)
Bottles (even if you breast feed it's likely you will need some bottles)
A decent PackNPlay works as a bed for a long time and it takes up less room than a crib. (Or look at portable/mini cribs)
You will want some baby clothes but you can buy used with how fast they go through everything.
If you have a small place a diaper genie is nice to reduce smell or get plastic bags that you can tie individual stinky diapers in.
A baby carrier like an ergo, moby or sling. Keeps you hands free and is so much easier than hauling a stroller everywhere. Plus they take up very little space.
Receiving blankets... they can be used for everything.

Check out pinterest for ideas on small living spaces and baby. They have cute ideas on how to turn a small place into a cute little area for baby.

[beepers]

I'm a FTM too, currently 18 weeks pregnant.

I second Lucy's List as mentioned by a PP. All this baby gear is totally overwhelming and she breaks it down really well, especially what are the essentials for your registry.

I too want to go "minimal" as far as baby gear is concerned, at least until we realize what we absolutely need (which I anticipate will be AFTER baby is born).

Have you joined a BMB yet? I'm on July '15 and we have some really good threads regarding both "Must haves" and "what do we NOT need". Either come check out those threads on our BMB or start your own on your BMB! good luck!!

[Deleted]

I think about all the big items first and then plan around sales. For example, right now we will take advantage of the Babies R Us Trade In Event and trade in an old stroller to get 25% of a new travel system. Also other big items we will get when we get our completion coupon for our registry. I am a STM+ so I only did the registry to get the completion coupon, since I will not be having a shower.

[clobert]

I'm a ftm and live in an apartment as well. I do think that you might end up doing more research because saving space is such a priority. I think you should have a really good idea of what you want before you make a trip to buy buy baby because it's overwhelming and you don't need most of that stuff. I would like to also recommend Lucie's list because she lives in San Francisco so she understand urban moms. A lot of reviews of products are based on typical suburban houses and lifestyles, so look for things that fold, are compact and have multiple uses. Baby Bargains is good for gear research, but it is very skewed to suburban parents, assuming driving everywhere and multiple stories, nurseries, etc. We are on a tight budget, but sometimes ended up splurging on an item because it was so compact and convenient. i.e. we are getting the lotus travel bassinet/crib instead pack and play because it takes up less space. We're getting the baby jogger city mini because it folds with one hand and can be carried up to our walk up while still handling the bumpy narrow sidewalks. However, we're not getting a swing or video monitor or extra furniture, or other things for bigger houses, so it evens out.

[momofcatan]

I think PP have given you great advice. The only thing I will add is I know lots of people have had experience with sales people at baby stores giving really crappy advice (especially about car seats). I would do lots of research with actual moms and dads before buying/registering for anything.

Also, I think you have LOTS of time. We actually didn't buy anything for the baby until after she was born (had car seat and bassinet from friends). Take you time, there's no rush.

[SpinsOffResonance]

I didn't start looking into baby stuff until after I was 20w along. Even then I spent most of my research trying to figure out what we actually needed and what we didn't rather than researching specific items.

We're in a 700sqft condo (is that big by nyc standards?) 2bed, 1bath, so we tried to stick to the bare minimum. When DD1 was born we had a mini cosleeper in our bedroom for her to sleep in, 3 shelves on the wall for her clothes and a changing pad on our desk. No baby bathtub (we used the kitchen sink), no crib (we got one when she outgrew the mini cosleeper at 9months), no stroller (such a pita in the city), no diaper pail (diapers went in the kitchen trash and we never had smell issues). You also need clothes, swaddle blankets, sleepsack, 2-3 sheets. A good baby carrier is a must for the city.

Like you we didn't have a car but had to buy a car seat to leave the hospital. We used zipcar a lot at the time. We went with the Chicco Keyfit 30 which was the one that people here typically recomended for how easy it is to install in all sorts of cars (fyi you don't need to carry the base around with you, the base is great if you own a car, if you don't you just install the car seat with the seatbelt in any car. After you practice it 10times it takes 20 seconds to install correctly with the seatbelt)

[radiantly]

Feb 10, 2015 9:05:32 GMT -5 SpinsOffResonance said:

I didn't start looking into baby stuff until after I was 20w along. Even then I spent most of my research trying to figure out what we actually needed and what we didn't rather than researching specific items.

We're in a 700sqft condo (is that big by nyc standards?) 2bed, 1bath, so we tried to stick to the bare minimum. When DD1 was born we had a mini cosleeper in our bedroom for her to sleep in, 3 shelves on the wall for her clothes and a changing pad on our desk. No baby bathtub (we used the kitchen sink), no crib (we got one when she outgrew the mini cosleeper at 9months), no stroller (such a pita in the city), no diaper pail (diapers went in the kitchen trash and we never had smell issues). You also need clothes, swaddle blankets, sleepsack, 2-3 sheets. A good baby carrier is a must for the city.

Like you we didn't have a car but had to buy a car seat to leave the hospital. We used zipcar a lot at the time. We went with the Chicco Keyfit 30 which was the one that people here typically recomended for how easy it is to install in all sorts of cars (fyi you don't need to carry the base around with you, the base is great if you own a car, if you don't you just install the car seat with the seatbelt in any car. After you practice it 10times it takes 20 seconds to install correctly with the seatbelt)

700 sq ft for 2 bed 1 bath is definitely tight, but not small from NY standards.  We're deeper into Brooklyn so have a little more space...   760 sqft coop with 1br 1 bath.  the bedroom is 19 feet by 11, so we cut if off by about 5 1/2 feet to build double side by side walk in closets.  We used Container Store to customize it and managed to share 1 side for both of our clothes. The other side is currently storage.  We're going to have to rent storage somewhere probably for the stuff in there, unless our building FINALLY finishes the storage room they've been promising for years.  Apprently it might come soon, so fingers crossed.

Interestingly, I just read somewhere that coop and condos are measured differently... (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/15/realestate/your-home-in-counting-square-feet-elastic-rules.html)

Thank you for the info on what you did for DD1!  REALLY helpful...  

Edited for words

[Deleted]

I had a loss of a twin early on in the pregnancy and the whole pregnancy was high risk. I did very little research as all my time was consumed with worry. My H did research the stroller. I had the shower and registered at the typical baby places and Target. I received most of the other stuff there like the pack n play, clothes, monitor, blankets, wash clothes etc. I was about 30 weeks at the time of my shower. The crib was probably around the same time. I did not decorate a nursery because 1. we were moving soon and 2. we slept in the living room for the first 6 weeks and then baby slept in my room for the next 4 months. We had a hand me down (never been in an accident car seat) and were told by the hospital that it was nearing the expiration date, so while I was in the hospital DH ran out and bought a car seat and a pump since baby ended up in the NICU, and I couldn't BF. My sister has 2 kids, so she gave me a list of what to register for. DH researched bottles and ended up with Tommy Tippee which honestly weren't my favorite. I liked the playtex drop in nursers better than I used for my second child. I also bought the Baby Bjorn and wished I would have done my research and got the Ergo instead. For my second I got the Ring Sling, and I really liked that I researched that. The library has a book on all the baby gear and prices and ratings which was very helpful.

[abachesta]

I'm a freak and like to prepare/ know everything so before I was pregnant I researched the crap out of everything. Back when the bump was good I looked at there top recommendations for pumps, strollers, car seats, PnPs, baby carriers, etc then went off some of those if they met my needs and started to research them or just researched in general from boards like this carsats, etc what other moms liked and went from there. So by the time I was pregnant I had everything that I thought and needed picked out. And believe me for such tiny little humans oh the stuff you need lol.