shower etiquette question

[rztrumpet]

In my social circle, showers for 2nd+ simply do not happen.  I've never been invited to a "sprinkle", "diaper party" or any of that....(which is totally fine with me)

So I have a friend, she has 2 kids ages 7 and 5.  2 years ago, when I was pregnant with DD, I bought all her baby stuff - diaper bag, high chair, stroller, clothes....  About 6 months ago, I was talking to her husband and he was saying how nice it was to be out of the "baby stage" and to get rid of everything.  He had so much more space in his house.

Last weekend, I found out, she is 13 weeks pregnant with TWINS!

They need everything again - times two!  I feel like I want to do something for her, and I'm sure a lot of our mutual friends would feel the same.  But I don't know how to politely bring it up to a few people that maybe we should organize something.  I don't want to outright state anything about their "surprise" (but anyone who knows them would know it). A "sprinkle" does seem like enough.  So I just have no clue what to do.

Or should I drop it, not involve anyone else, and just ask her directly what she needs most?

[helenahhandbasket]

Why not just offer to loan her the stuff you bought from her?

My Bff is also currently pregnant with twins and has a 16 mo old. When the twins are born, she'll have 3u2.

I'm OaD so I have offered her any and all of my baby things. We have several other friends that just had their second and are done and have offered the same.

I don't feel that multiples warrants a second baby shower, but if she's a close friend I absolutely get wanting to help her out. I wouldn't bring up a second shower to anyone else though.

[rztrumpet]

#2 will only be 3 months old when her twins are born. I could loan the stuff back to her, but then I'd have to go buy myself all new stuff.

I guess I'll just talk to her, and not involve anyone else.



Edit: can't count :-p

[rztrumpet]

Jul 31, 2015 15:21:01 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

I don't feel that multiples warrants a second baby shower, but if she's a close friend I absolutely get wanting to help her out. I wouldn't bring up a second shower to anyone else though.

I would normally agree. I wasn't sure if surprise multiples (after you know they got rid of all their baby stuff) was different.

[jesster88]

If you have other mutual friends you could run the idea of doing something for her. Maybe someone else would bring up a sprinkle or a group gift. I wouldn't push the idea if there isn't immediate interest. Sprinkles are common in my friend group, so my experience would be different.

[Deleted]

Don't involve anyone else. Sprinkles are tacky, regardless of age difference, different sexes, or multiples. However, nothing prevents you from asking her, "Hey, Susie, I want to get you something for the babies. What did you need?" or from just deciding that you want to gift her, say, a new stroller or some diapers or something.

[Girlymama79]

You don't owe her anything just because you bought her baby stuff. It was her choice to sell it. A gift for a friend is always nice though.

[ECB]

My take on it - if you have a few CLOSE mutual friends and if you want to reach out to them and say "Hey, let's take Sally out for  lunch to celebrate her twins", go for it.  People will probably bring gifts.  But I would probably avoid doing a full on shower/sprinkle where you're inviting people who aren't as close.

I see nothing wrong w/ a group of good girlfriends, though, taking a friend out for a celebration lunch.