Praying at school -- wdyt

[blushballoons]

I found a great preschool for dd. The one caveat is that they say a prayer before snack/lunch. The school is not religiously affiliated and this is the only religious thing they do.

I want to shrug it off and say it isn't a big deal but the truth is, I think it is a big deal. I don't like the idea of her participating in a religion we don't believe in. And yeah kids mindlessly just say the prayer without thinking about it, but I think the mindlessly following a religion is part of the problem with religion and I'm not comfortable with starting that, either.

So now I'm torn. The school is great and has a fantastic program otherwise. I don't want to pull her but I just can't get rid of this nagging uncomfortable feeling.

Thoughts? Has this come up for you? Should I just get over it?

[mommyatty]

Do you know the words to the prayer? That would matter for me.

We sent DD to a Methodist preschool. Their lunch prayer was "Thank you, God, for this food and good friends to share it with. Amen" I was fine with that.

The first half of the year, DD thought God was the person who brought the lunches in every day. She was 2.

In answer, though, it wouldn't be a deal killer for me, if the school otherwise was a nurturing, loving, safe place for my child.

[blushballoons]

I don't know the words. Even that, though, would bug me. The snacks are provided by the parents on a rotating schedule. I don't want her to thank a god for bringing them when they were provided by someone and she can say thank you to that person.

My friend said we can just ask that they bring her in the hall for prayer but I'm not thrilled about that, either.

I'll probably just suck it up. It is annoying though. If it isn't religiously affiliated then why the prayer?

[blushballoons]

Also, I know some people want to educate their kids in all religions without forcing one so they can choose themselves. I dont really feel that way. I don't believe any of this and intend to only educate her in religion to the extent I would Greek mythology or something similar.

I'm sure that is a big part of my issue. I feel more strongly than most other atheists I know.

[mommyatty]

We generally are telling our kids that lots of people have different beliefs. And we will tell them what ours are and aren't. I want our kids to be respectful of people's belief systems, just as I want all of those people to be respectful of ours. And while I don't expect my kids will choose to be religious, I would be fine if they were. A little confused by how they reached those conclusions, but I wouldn't judge them for it. I'm also not a fan of the "educate kids in them all and let them choose" in part because honestly, they are going to choose anyway. I will educate them about all sorts of different cultural norms but I'm not putting religion ahead of any other cultural norm.

But, yeah, we feels strongly enough about a secular education that we are spending $12k a year on private school per child because Texas public schools are generally an off-shoot of the Southern Baptist Convention. And we don't want our kids to grow up to be close-minded idiots who can't think for themselves. (Seriously, the Republican Party here has a plank in their platform to remove critical thinking skills from the public school curriculum. They don't even hide that keeping people dumb keeps them voting Republican. Their excuse is that critical thinking is another way to say secular and liberal. My response? You said it, I didn't.)

[expatmama]

Yeah, I would have a hard time with that. Like you, we are not interested in having our child 'choose' . My husband and I do not believe anything. We have only recently started talking about the concept of god with our 5 year old. We live in a secular country and he has not heard anything about it before. He's mostly interested in hearing about the stories about God and we have treated it like a story book. We haven't even touched upon prayer and I don't think I would want them exposed to that.

[danisgossipgirl]

I honestly don't know how I'd react in the same situation. My kids are in public schools that I fully expect to be secular, but at the same time, I am pretty introverted and non-confrontational. In general, I would be in favor of a cultural exercise-- this is how different people in different parts of the world go about meal times, saying thank you in different languages, and a few examples could be religious and I'd be fine with it. I'd also be ok with a pre-meal "blessing" that left god out of it, like "we are so thankful for this food, and the people that we are sharing with, blah blah blah." Maybe I'd try to find out what the prayer was and if it was too god-ish, suggest an alternative in the interest of inclusiveness. I wouldn't want to remove my kid from participating because I wouldn't stand for having my kid be left out because of our family's beliefs.

[Deleted]

DD's little school she went to a couple months ago did a... thing before they ate that reminded me a lot of a prayer but didn't include anything religious and I even thought that was a little annoying.

When we move and she starts up school again I think we aren't going to be able to avoid it in the school and it won't be a deal breaker but I will talk to the teachers and to DD that she doesn't need to participate by vocalizing their words and that we won't be doing it at home.

[alygohome]

Dd is in a christian daycare, they pray before meals but don't teach scripture. I made it very clear that we are not religious but I figure that exposing her to religion isn't a bad thing as long as it isn't being shoved down her throat. By the time she is old enough to really understand we will talk to her about what we believe and why.