mack: Good attitude (open to ideas, clear communication, having the ability to respectfully disagree, having the ability to respectfully agree): Yes. "Paint a smile on that face": No.
Right, but I try to be pleasant with my coworkers. Like I try to give smiles and say hello. I feel like this is normal professional behavior. Not sexist.
Agreed the act of smiling is not sexist. And your desire to smile and be pleasant is not anti-feminist. But I believe that the probability that a male boss would tell a female to 'smile more' in a performance review is higher than the probability that he would give the same feedback to man, making that feedback sexist IMO. Giving the feedback "need a better attitude"- not sexist. I think that can be given with equal probability to both sexes.
My main beef is hearing 'Smile!' in a non-work related setting. I am a smiler. I am upbeat and generally have a smile on my face. That's just who I am- always have been. However, the minute I think seriously about something, or am genuinely unhappy, or whatever the justification is to not smile, some man (never a woman) is saying 'Smile!' to me. It's not my job to be peppy for you.
Right, but I try to be pleasant with my coworkers. Like I try to give smiles and say hello. I feel like this is normal professional behavior. Not sexist.
Agreed the act of smiling is not sexist. And your desire to smile and be pleasant is not anti-feminist. But I believe that the probability that a male boss would tell a female to 'smile more' in a performance review is higher than the probability that he would give the same feedback to man, making that feedback sexist IMO. Giving the feedback "need a better attitude"- not sexist. I think that can be given with equal probability to both sexes.
My main beef is hearing 'Smile!' in a non-work related setting. I am a smiler. I am upbeat and generally have a smile on my face. That's just who I am- always have been. However, the minute I think seriously about something, or am genuinely unhappy, or whatever the justification is to not smile, some man (never a woman) is saying 'Smile!' to me. It's not my job to be peppy for you.
I think we are on the same page here.
Yeah, having some dude say "Smile, Sweetheart" is not okay. I was hearing people say they didn't feel the need to have a pleasant demeanor at work.
Okay but I have one coworker that is always in a bad mood. Always. I have never had the urge to tell her to smile but GOTDAMN. She comes in everyday, throw her shit at me and then leaves.
I don't see where @scoutnumbers is saying to cuss that bitch out?!!!
I believe in playing my hand when given the opportunity. Just a little I see what you did there bitch goes a long way. Just @lakermama66 being there in this situation let's her know that LakerMama66 knows she lied.
I would kill her with kindness like a true southern woman.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
And not for nothing I was fired on a technicality a few months later.
that REALLY sucks. and I'm not at all surprised.
Yea, I've plenty of backbone, but I should've picked my battles better. He's been with the agency for decades, and as shitty as it is, he was of more value to them. I knew his reputation, but I didn't heed warning.
What really grinds mygears is I paid a buttload.of union fees, and my union rep didn't even show. I could've contested it, but I was mentally exhausted.
I follow this as well! We have a pretty relaxed dress code here. A lot of my coworkers wear jeans. But my supervisor and our boss usually wear business casual, except we do jeans on Fridays. I dress like they do rather than how my coworkers dress.
Dude... having your boss bring you in the office and have a personal conversation about your professional dress is a big deal. LakerMama66, listen, I know I eat crackers for you often, and that's fine, but I think you are taking a very myopic view on what happened here. I don't know how much more specific and direct I need to be about this, but I can totally see your ex-employers view on this. You weren't wrongfully terminated in any capacity. She lied. Big whoop, that shit happens all the time.
Is this where I say I didn't know that or notice that. Hmphf. I need to pay more attentions to who's being who, who's being true, and who don't even care anymore.
As for being more professional, I wear/wore slacks and blouses or cardigans and nice tops, and a pair of black flats. I do not style my hair or make-up and I never will.
this is going to get my flamed to high heaven, but whatever at this point. The bolded is absolutely your choice, but when it APPEARS (I'm stressing this because I'm not saying appearances = reality) that you don't put stock in your appearance, then your interview chances will suffer. I'm not being sexist, this is true on all sides of the table. Unless you show up with some completely unique and bankable skill (like you are some prodigy who can code computer shit 5x faster than the next best person), appearance matters. If a dude shows up looking unkempt, unshaven, etc. then someone else with the exact qualifications who looks like he puts stock in how he presents himself will get the job probably 8 times out of 10. If you want to work in a professional environment that is as buttoned up as accounting, you might want to rethink your defiant stance on this.
I don't think that not styling one's hair or putting on make up equates looking unkempt and unprofessional.
I've gained 4 pounds in a week, even though I stayed on track with my diet and had 1200-1500 calories daily plus I did the p90x workouts every day. WTF BODY.
Is that too low calories for you? I've found I need 1800 when I'm working out or the fat refuses to leave
IDK, both calorie counter apps I use say my BMR is 1453.
this is going to get my flamed to high heaven, but whatever at this point. The bolded is absolutely your choice, but when it APPEARS (I'm stressing this because I'm not saying appearances = reality) that you don't put stock in your appearance, then your interview chances will suffer. I'm not being sexist, this is true on all sides of the table. Unless you show up with some completely unique and bankable skill (like you are some prodigy who can code computer shit 5x faster than the next best person), appearance matters. If a dude shows up looking unkempt, unshaven, etc. then someone else with the exact qualifications who looks like he puts stock in how he presents himself will get the job probably 8 times out of 10. If you want to work in a professional environment that is as buttoned up as accounting, you might want to rethink your defiant stance on this.
I don't think that not styling one's hair or putting on make up equates looking unkempt and unprofessional.
So going back to my previous employer as a budget analysist, I'm going to run into my old boss who let me go. Turns out she lied to me and the grant I was on did renew.
I don't know how to react. I want to cuss her out for screwing me over the past six months, but I know that's not appropriate! Thoughts?
Is it a NIH grant? If so, you can always keep tabs of status with the reporter system. That's beyond crappy that she pulled that on you, though. I'm curious as to how she posed that with HR... this might actually be a HR issue (i.e., nightmare) for her if you bring it to HR.
Just be sweet as sugar and super happy to see her. Kill 'em with kindness!
The working world is a dirty game. I feel like there should be a required college minor for how to navigate politics, sexism, expectations and generally how to not piss people off without reason.
Yes, telling women to smile is an age old manifestation of sexism. I am not your ornament.
Agreed. I am not a smiley person. I do not wish to smile all the time. My old job actually appreciated this, and however sexist it was, in every performance review I was praised for being able to handle myself and "hang with the guys" in the office. My profession is male-dominated. I had to deal with construction guys and was frequently the only female in a large group of men. I got the "secretary" comments, called a decorator, asked to bring the guys coffee, etc. It's demeaning. My RBF helps.
I don't think that not styling one's hair or putting on make up equates looking unkempt and unprofessional.
lol we have fallen down this rabbit hole before, but I don't agree. I'm not saying she needs to get some airbrush professional makeup done and have Texas prom hair set by hot rollers, but there is a step up from doing absolutely nothing about your hair or makeup.
I either do a basic blow dry. Or when I have it up, blow dry it part way. I don't do full make up. Foundation, blush, and some light eye make up.
As for being more professional, I wear/wore slacks and blouses or cardigans and nice tops, and a pair of black flats. I do not style my hair or make-up and I never will.
this is going to get my flamed to high heaven, but whatever at this point. The bolded is absolutely your choice, but when it APPEARS (I'm stressing this because I'm not saying appearances = reality) that you don't put stock in your appearance, then your interview chances will suffer. I'm not being sexist, this is true on all sides of the table. Unless you show up with some completely unique and bankable skill (like you are some prodigy who can code computer shit 5x faster than the next best person), appearance matters. If a dude shows up looking unkempt, unshaven, etc. then someone else with the exact qualifications who looks like he puts stock in how he presents himself will get the job probably 8 times out of 10. If you want to work in a professional environment that is as buttoned up as accounting, you might want to rethink your defiant stance on this.
I get what your saying, but getting yourself prettied up for an interview is one thing. Expecting @lakermama66 to do her hair & make up every day for the sake of apperences is another.
this is going to get my flamed to high heaven, but whatever at this point. The bolded is absolutely your choice, but when it APPEARS (I'm stressing this because I'm not saying appearances = reality) that you don't put stock in your appearance, then your interview chances will suffer. I'm not being sexist, this is true on all sides of the table. Unless you show up with some completely unique and bankable skill (like you are some prodigy who can code computer shit 5x faster than the next best person), appearance matters. If a dude shows up looking unkempt, unshaven, etc. then someone else with the exact qualifications who looks like he puts stock in how he presents himself will get the job probably 8 times out of 10. If you want to work in a professional environment that is as buttoned up as accounting, you might want to rethink your defiant stance on this.
I don't think that not styling one's hair or putting on make up equates looking unkempt and unprofessional.
If you don't put any cares into your appearance, why would your employer think you have fucks to give about your job?
The working world is a dirty game. I feel like there should be a required college minor for how to navigate politics, sexism, expectations and generally how to not piss people off without reason.
this is the main education that those green fools fresh out of college get when they work for me in our intern program. Like, sure, I can teach anyone how to underwrite and cash flow model for commercial real estate, but there are so many other intangibles that make or break someone that they don't teach you in undergrad.
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