Have we talked about Nicole ArB.ouR ? **All the warnings**

[mosdub]

Sept 5, 2015 22:58:35 GMT -5 emejay said:

*ticker warning - on mobile sorry - dirty lurker*

pbsnowflake453

Let me tell you a little story about fat people:

I used to be reallll fat, obese, the kind that people didn't want to sit next to on a plane. I was addicted to food. Completely. I knew the basis of "healthy living" and I tried and tried to make it right. But food always won over me. Would you shame an alcoholic or drug addict to "be healthier" ? It's easy - just stop your addiction #healthybodies

Then you know what happen? I developed a nasty eating disorder. I lost weight. And people were so damn happy for me. Yay! She's not fat anymore. The whole point in life, right? Nevermind the hair loss, cavities, vitamins deficiency, random blackouts and the fact that I fucking ruin my health for many many years afterward. Who cares? I was skinny! #healthybodies

Shaming someone in doing something is and never will be a tool to help. It's only another brick on a fuckton of pressure you feel already and might be just the one thing that make you crack and do stupid things.

So, no. This is not a good video. This is in no way "though love". This is just another skinny white woman showing her privilege and trying to get famous while being omg shocking.

TL;DR : Skinny =\= healthy

Thank you for sharing your story.  It's unfortunately a reality for many ((Hugs))

[Deleted]

Sept 5, 2015 22:58:35 GMT -5 emejay said:

*ticker warning - on mobile sorry - dirty lurker*

pbsnowflake453

Let me tell you a little story about fat people:

I used to be reallll fat, obese, the kind that people didn't want to sit next to on a plane. I was addicted to food. Completely. I knew the basis of "healthy living" and I tried and tried to make it right. But food always won over me. Would you shame an alcoholic or drug addict to "be healthier" ? It's easy - just stop your addiction #healthybodies

Then you know what happen? I developed a nasty eating disorder. I lost weight. And people were so damn happy for me. Yay! She's not fat anymore. The whole point in life, right? Nevermind the hair loss, cavities, vitamins deficiency, random blackouts and the fact that I fucking ruin my health for many many years afterward. Who cares? I was skinny! #healthybodies

Shaming someone in doing something is and never will be a tool to help. It's only another brick on a fuckton of pressure you feel already and might be just the one thing that make you crack and do stupid things.

So, no. This is not a good video. This is in no way "though love". This is just another skinny white woman showing her privilege and trying to get famous while being omg shocking.

TL;DR : Skinny =\= healthy

Thank you for sharing your story. I struggle so much with losing weight I've basically given up. I've tried dieting and exercise and I have to work 10x harder to lose than to gain and I get so discouraged when I see little to no change. I think I really am addicted to eating but no one will believe me and I feel like so alone. I feel like I have to finish everything on my plate and even when I'm full I want to keep eating.

I also am drowning in debt because I am the sole income earner while MH goes to school full time and we an only afford the dollar menu or frozen meals instead of a 6 dollar salad or all the fancy ingredients for a natural, healthy meal. I'm so thankful that MH will love me no matter how much I weigh but I just want to be skinny for him and myself.

[butlerfan]

Wow..just wow. I can't even tonight. Everyone else has aalready covered anything I have to say and much better than I could portray right now.

[mosdub]

Sept 5, 2015 23:17:00 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Sept 5, 2015 22:58:35 GMT -5 emejay said:

*ticker warning - on mobile sorry - dirty lurker*

pbsnowflake453

Let me tell you a little story about fat people:

I used to be reallll fat, obese, the kind that people didn't want to sit next to on a plane. I was addicted to food. Completely. I knew the basis of "healthy living" and I tried and tried to make it right. But food always won over me. Would you shame an alcoholic or drug addict to "be healthier" ? It's easy - just stop your addiction #healthybodies

Then you know what happen? I developed a nasty eating disorder. I lost weight. And people were so damn happy for me. Yay! She's not fat anymore. The whole point in life, right? Nevermind the hair loss, cavities, vitamins deficiency, random blackouts and the fact that I fucking ruin my health for many many years afterward. Who cares? I was skinny! #healthybodies

Shaming someone in doing something is and never will be a tool to help. It's only another brick on a fuckton of pressure you feel already and might be just the one thing that make you crack and do stupid things.

So, no. This is not a good video. This is in no way "though love". This is just another skinny white woman showing her privilege and trying to get famous while being omg shocking.

TL;DR : Skinny =\= healthy

Thank you for sharing your story. I struggle so much with losing weight I've basically given up. I've tried dieting and exercise and I have to work 10x harder to lose than to gain and I get so discouraged when I see little to no change. I think I really am addicted to eating but no one will believe me and I feel like so alone. I feel like I have to finish everything on my plate and even when I'm full I want to keep eating.

I also am drowning in debt because I am the sole income earner while MH goes to school full time and we an only afford the dollar menu or frozen meals instead of a 6 dollar salad or all the fancy ingredients for a natural, healthy meal. I'm so thankful that MH will love me no matter how much I weigh but I just want to be skinny for him and myself.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  I know that it is hard to buy healthier food on a budget.  Sometimes I find it's helpful to focus on just one thing instead of doing a massive overhaul.  Could you eliminate one thing or add one thing to make a positive change?  You can definitely get addicted to food - especially food high in fat and sugar.  Back in cave-man days we hunted and forged for food and it took a lot of effort to get those high calorie foods (like hunting and killing an animal or searching for hours to find a bush full of sweet berries).  They were worth the work and our brains have been programmed to like the taste of fat and sugar because those equal energy which equals not dying while you search/hunt out the next meal.

Unfortunately we are still programmed to want fat and sugar even though we really really don't need that much of it, especially since most of us don't do nearly as much physical work.

I would say to talk to a doctor or nutritionist but I know that may not be within your means for that I am sorry.  There are a lot of baby-steps you can begin taking like if you normally order regular soda order water or diet instead.  Order one less thing off the dollar menu.  Drink a big glass of water before you eat, or drink a glass of water when you have the urge to eat.  Make a little rule with yourself to not eat anything with frosting for the week.  None of these things will make a drastic change overnight but may help you begin that process! 

As for your last sentence -- try not to focus on the idea of "skinny" because being healthy (mentally and physically) is far more important!   

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 0:00:00 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Sept 5, 2015 23:17:00 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Thank you for sharing your story. I struggle so much with losing weight I've basically given up. I've tried dieting and exercise and I have to work 10x harder to lose than to gain and I get so discouraged when I see little to no change. I think I really am addicted to eating but no one will believe me and I feel like so alone. I feel like I have to finish everything on my plate and even when I'm full I want to keep eating.

I also am drowning in debt because I am the sole income earner while MH goes to school full time and we an only afford the dollar menu or frozen meals instead of a 6 dollar salad or all the fancy ingredients for a natural, healthy meal. I'm so thankful that MH will love me no matter how much I weigh but I just want to be skinny for him and myself.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  I know that it is hard to buy healthier food on a budget.  Sometimes I find it's helpful to focus on just one thing instead of doing a massive overhaul.  Could you eliminate one thing or add one thing to make a positive change?  You can definitely get addicted to food - especially food high in fat and sugar.  Back in cave-man days we hunted and forged for food and it took a lot of effort to get those high calorie foods (like hunting and killing an animal or searching for hours to find a bush full of sweet berries).  They were worth the work and our brains have been programmed to like the taste of fat and sugar because those equal energy which equals not dying while you search/hunt out the next meal.

Unfortunately we are still programmed to want fat and sugar even though we really really don't need that much of it, especially since most of us don't do nearly as much physical work.

I would say to talk to a doctor or nutritionist but I know that may not be within your means for that I am sorry.  There are a lot of baby-steps you can begin taking like if you normally order regular soda order water or diet instead.  Order one less thing off the dollar menu.  Drink a big glass of water before you eat, or drink a glass of water when you have the urge to eat.  Make a little rule with yourself to not eat anything with frosting for the week.  None of these things will make a drastic change overnight but may help you begin that process! 

As for your last sentence -- try not to focus on the idea of "skinny" because being healthy (mentally and physically) is far more important!   

Thank you for your suggestions. I think I need to start working on portion size and getting some more exercise in. I have Zumba for the Wii so I might try that lol. I've had thoughts of seeing a therapist over this as well and maybe it's time for that, too.

[pismoduo]

Sept 6, 2015 0:06:49 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Sept 6, 2015 0:00:00 GMT -5 mosdub said:

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  I know that it is hard to buy healthier food on a budget.  Sometimes I find it's helpful to focus on just one thing instead of doing a massive overhaul.  Could you eliminate one thing or add one thing to make a positive change?  You can definitely get addicted to food - especially food high in fat and sugar.  Back in cave-man days we hunted and forged for food and it took a lot of effort to get those high calorie foods (like hunting and killing an animal or searching for hours to find a bush full of sweet berries).  They were worth the work and our brains have been programmed to like the taste of fat and sugar because those equal energy which equals not dying while you search/hunt out the next meal.

Unfortunately we are still programmed to want fat and sugar even though we really really don't need that much of it, especially since most of us don't do nearly as much physical work.

I would say to talk to a doctor or nutritionist but I know that may not be within your means for that I am sorry.  There are a lot of baby-steps you can begin taking like if you normally order regular soda order water or diet instead.  Order one less thing off the dollar menu.  Drink a big glass of water before you eat, or drink a glass of water when you have the urge to eat.  Make a little rule with yourself to not eat anything with frosting for the week.  None of these things will make a drastic change overnight but may help you begin that process! 

As for your last sentence -- try not to focus on the idea of "skinny" because being healthy (mentally and physically) is far more important!   

Thank you for your suggestions. I think I need to start working on portion size and getting some more exercise in. I have Zumba for the Wii so I might try that lol. I've had thoughts of seeing a therapist over this as well and maybe it's time for that, too.

I hear good things about Zumba. Let me know if you like it!

[Deleted]

Sept 5, 2015 21:53:46 GMT -5 pbsnowflake453 said:

Sept 5, 2015 21:42:36 GMT -5 ohinvrtedworld said:

I sense 0% love in that tirade. I think most "fat people" know that they're overweight, and don't need someone to point it out -- and if they genuinely are fat simply due to lack of exercise and/or poor diet, they're aware that they aren't as healthy as they could be. 

And I feel like fat-shaming someone will not have the effect of motivating them all of a sudden to go on a diet and start a workout regimen. If anything, making people feel bad about themselves often just adds to their already existent emotional/mental unhealthiness. 

A video by Penn from Penn & Teller will help explain my feelings here -- basically, he (being an atheist) says that he expects Christians to try to share their faith with him. He compares it to watching someone step out in front of a bus and doing nothing about it. If you know someone is going to Hell and you do nothing about it, how is that love? Yes, overweight people know they are overweight. But as she mentions, maybe the video will be "shrapnel" that will seep into us and help us make better decisions. Was she rude? Yes. But if it helps save lives, it's worth it. Hurt feelings < healthy bodies.

[pbsnowflake453]

Seeing how strongly you ladies felt about this, I decided to take a step back and self-evaluate. I realize that maybe my own emotional issues from how I was raised caused me to appreciate this video in a way others didn't. I am obviously in a very small corner with my views, which means her video actually isn't worth it. Reaching the select few who may feel the way I do is not worth the way it's (apparently) made you guys feel.

Thanks for the discussion, and I'm sorry if anything I said offended anyone.

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 8:52:31 GMT -5 pbsnowflake453 said:

Seeing how strongly you ladies felt about this, I decided to take a step back and self-evaluate. I realize that maybe my own emotional issues from how I was raised caused me to appreciate this video in a way others didn't. I am obviously in a very small corner with my views, which means her video actually isn't worth it. Reaching the select few who may feel the way I do is not worth the way it's (apparently) made you guys feel.

Thanks for the discussion, and I'm sorry if anything I said offended anyone.

[icaughtfire]

Sept 6, 2015 8:52:31 GMT -5 pbsnowflake453 said:

Seeing how strongly you ladies felt about this, I decided to take a step back and self-evaluate. I realize that maybe my own emotional issues from how I was raised caused me to appreciate this video in a way others didn't. I am obviously in a very small corner with my views, which means her video actually isn't worth it. Reaching the select few who may feel the way I do is not worth the way it's (apparently) made you guys feel.

Thanks for the discussion, and I'm sorry if anything I said offended anyone.

I still think you're a cunt.

[juliayadda]

Sept 6, 2015 8:52:31 GMT -5 pbsnowflake453 said:

Seeing how strongly you ladies felt about this, I decided to take a step back and self-evaluate. I realize that maybe my own emotional issues from how I was raised caused me to appreciate this video in a way others didn't. I am obviously in a very small corner with my views, which means her video actually isn't worth it. Reaching the select few who may feel the way I do is not worth the way it's (apparently) made you guys feel.

Thanks for the discussion, and I'm sorry if anything I said offended anyone.

I am happy you educated yourself a little. Continue to do so. Stick around. This group of women will not hesitate to call out your shit. 

PS I did not GKU yesterday or you would have received a tirade from me. 


As for this video: I am not even offended by this woman. She is so utterly ignorant and self indulgent that I can only feel sorry for her. There is such a thing as emotional intelligence and clearly hers is low. So many statements including the one's that Ray called out were red flags for me. Perhaps this woman can only feel good about herself by bringing others down.


I dont think she is inherently a bad person but I also know she could not be my friend. Of course she would look at me and not realize I was "obese." I am a fortunate individual because I get to be obese and not look it. I think that makes it even worse. She is basing her entire opinion on how someone looks as opposed to their health. I look healthy, I am heart/lung/pancreas healthy, I can even run a 40 minute 5k, but I am obese. Did I just ruin her shaming? 

In conclusion I feel sorry for her. Sorry that she lacks the ability to empathize, and has come out to the internet as a bitch.

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 10:25:37 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

@rutherily the best thing I've seen is having heathy snacks on hand. It's the snacking that gets me every time.

It seems like no one has the exact same battle when trying to lose weight. Which sometimes can leave us feeling so alone I think. I remember being out to eat with some (thin) friends once and made an offhand comment about how I was full but still wanted more. I got the strangest look from one of them and they just asked why. I couldn't explain it to them.

Good luck on any weight loss journey you might be on.

[shemarie82]

Fuck that bitch! I paid thousands of dollars to get part of my stomach cut out so that I could be "skinny" and that would make me happy. I did not get to a place of obesity just because I liked to eat, there were several other factors at play. Those other factors are still here, even though I weigh 100 pounds less than I did 2 years ago. My weight loss has now stopped. I am far from skinny, but I am now mentally healthy which is far more important. Fuck anyone around me that is uncomfortable with my "fatness", I don't have the time or energy to deal with that bullshit.

[mosdub]

Sept 6, 2015 10:25:37 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

@rutherily the best thing I've seen is having heathy snacks on hand. It's the snacking that gets me every time.

Agreed!  I tend to want to munch on something when I'm on the computer so I've been cutting up celery to eat when I have the craving just to eat something.

Truthfully when you're on the computer you're not giving much thought to what you're eating anyway and I've been surprised to see I ate a whole heart of celery without thinking about it.

By the way I like celery okay but it's not like I LOVE it or anything. 

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 11:40:29 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Sept 6, 2015 10:25:37 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

@rutherily the best thing I've seen is having heathy snacks on hand. It's the snacking that gets me every time.

Agreed!  I tend to want to munch on something when I'm on the computer so I've been cutting up celery to eat when I have the craving just to eat something.

Truthfully when you're on the computer you're not giving much thought to what you're eating anyway and I've been surprised to see I ate a whole heart of celery without thinking about it.

By the way I like celery okay but it's not like I LOVE it or anything. 

If you like pickles, they're another good zero calorie snack. I eat those when I'm boredom eating but want some extra flavor. Just be careful cause certain brands have really high sodium.

[pismoduo]

Sept 6, 2015 11:40:29 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Sept 6, 2015 10:25:37 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

@rutherily the best thing I've seen is having heathy snacks on hand. It's the snacking that gets me every time.

Agreed!  I tend to want to munch on something when I'm on the computer so I've been cutting up celery to eat when I have the craving just to eat something.

Truthfully when you're on the computer you're not giving much thought to what you're eating anyway and I've been surprised to see I ate a whole heart of celery without thinking about it.

By the way I like celery okay but it's not like I LOVE it or anything. 

I do the same thing with baby carrots. And almonds.

The almonds actually do make me stop and realize how many I've eaten because they're a little harder and after a while I realize that I've been crunching on these almonds for ever.

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 12:02:53 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Sept 6, 2015 11:40:29 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Agreed!  I tend to want to munch on something when I'm on the computer so I've been cutting up celery to eat when I have the craving just to eat something.

Truthfully when you're on the computer you're not giving much thought to what you're eating anyway and I've been surprised to see I ate a whole heart of celery without thinking about it.

By the way I like celery okay but it's not like I LOVE it or anything. 

If you like pickles, they're another good zero calorie snack. I eat those when I'm boredom eating but want some extra flavor. Just be careful cause certain brands have really high sodium.

My favorite is raw white mushrooms with mustard. I could eat a whole pack in one sitting if I don't portion them out.

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 12:16:50 GMT -5 @led said:

Sept 6, 2015 12:02:53 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

If you like pickles, they're another good zero calorie snack. I eat those when I'm boredom eating but want some extra flavor. Just be careful cause certain brands have really high sodium.

My favorite is raw white mushrooms with mustard. I could eat a whole pack in one sitting if I don't portion them out.

Woah I have never heard of that combination. Is this a common thing or something you discovered?

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 12:18:45 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Sept 6, 2015 12:16:50 GMT -5 @led said:

My favorite is raw white mushrooms with mustard. I could eat a whole pack in one sitting if I don't portion them out.

Woah I have never heard of that combination. Is this a common thing or something you discovered?

I really like mustard. lol. It's probably just me. 

[mosdub]

Sept 6, 2015 12:02:53 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Sept 6, 2015 11:40:29 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Agreed!  I tend to want to munch on something when I'm on the computer so I've been cutting up celery to eat when I have the craving just to eat something.

Truthfully when you're on the computer you're not giving much thought to what you're eating anyway and I've been surprised to see I ate a whole heart of celery without thinking about it.

By the way I like celery okay but it's not like I LOVE it or anything. 

If you like pickles, they're another good zero calorie snack. I eat those when I'm boredom eating but want some extra flavor. Just be careful cause certain brands have really high sodium.

That's my other go-to low calorie snack.  I looooove pickles! 

[mosdub]

Sept 6, 2015 13:07:57 GMT -5 danib said:

Sept 6, 2015 10:36:20 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

It seems like no one has the exact same battle when trying to lose weight. Which sometimes can leave us feeling so alone I think. I remember being out to eat with some (thin) friends once and made an offhand comment about how I was full but still wanted more. I got the strangest look from one of them and they just asked why. I couldn't explain it to them.

Good luck on any weight loss journey you might be on.

I understand what you are saying about the "wanting more" thing. I'm not overweight right now but I really struggle with portion control. I honestly blame it on having to finish my meals as a kid. We were one of those families where we had to eat everything on our plate, and I think it conditioned ne to eat past being full. I often have to say to myself "you are full. It is ok to stop eating" (I won't waste though, leftovers go in the fridge for the next meal). One thing that MAY help, is to use smaller plates. Not nevessarily tiny ones, but smaller than your average dinner plate. This helps "trick" you into taking up a smaller portion.

[ghostmonkey]

I am really glad I missed this fucking shit last night. Now I am off to go eat again so my obese ass can make more gainz.

[madamewaffles]

And now YouTube has suspended Ar.bour's channel:

www.cnn.com/2015/09/06/entertainment/fat-shaming-nicole-arbour/

[Deleted]

[ghostmonkey]

Sept 6, 2015 18:18:11 GMT -5 madamewaffles said:

And now YouTube has suspended Ar.bour's channel:

www.cnn.com/2015/09/06/entertainment/fat-shaming-nicole-arbour/

Good, because she's a cunt and so is anyone that thinks anything she said is even remotely ok.

[ohinvrtedworld]

nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/09/fat-shaming-doesnt-work-is-mean.html#

^^ Article within CNN article that backs up the claim that verbally abusing people doesn't motivate them to lose weight. Just so the case can be officially closed.

[pbsnowflake453]

I was wrong. I'm sorry.

ETA: The more I think about it, the more I realize it. No snark, no sarcasm, no AWing. I'm just wrong, and I admit it.

[hydrangea1019]

Sorry to bump this back up but seems she lost a job due to her video. Apparently she's a dancer/choreographer and she was dropped from a movie she was supposed to work on.

q13fox.com/2015/09/10/dear-fat-people-comedian-loses-job-over-fat-phobic-video/

[fatpony]

I read that youtube didn't suspend her account, but that she disabled it herself (in hopes of more publicity).

[hydrangea1019]

Sept 11, 2015 9:32:41 GMT -5 fatpony said:

I read that youtube didn't suspend her account, but that she disabled it herself (in hopes of more publicity).

Oh jeez! AW much?!