Visitation
Sept 9, 2015 14:42:10 GMT -5
Post by jennaleigh23 on Sept 9, 2015 14:42:10 GMT -5
Hi all. I had my beautiful baby boy, Liam, on July 22. I originally was not going to put BD on the birth certificate and have him take the initiative to file with the court to gain access. Well I didn't put him on the birth certificate but right after the birth things got messy with social workers lawyers and even the police so ultimately I was told by my lawyer that it would be easier to make nice with him while we try to work through mediation. So I have decided to let him see Liam three times a week for one hour at a coffee shop. We are going to mediation because he is seeking joint custody and unsupervised visits. We don't currently have anything in place legally and he technically does not have any legal rights to Liam but I'm allowing him to visit and giving him the benefit of the doubt that his being in Liam's life is for the better.
Well in the five weeks that we have been attempting these visits, he's blown off three without valid excuses, refused the make up time I offered, has had two of his buddies that I don't know show up to a visit even though I've asked him to show up alone to see his son, with the exception of his father who I've said could visit one of the three visits per week. When his schedule changed he asked if we could switch locations to a coffee shop that is a 5 minute walk from his house so he wouldn't have to bus. I said sure. Since that he's been late two of the three visits because he can't get out of bed on time (the visits are at 10:30am).
So here's my question. How closely do you guys stick to your visitation schedule? I've been looking into registering Liam for baby time at the local library which I think he will really enjoy and will be good for him. But. For two Wednesdays they fall at the same time as Liam's visit with dad. They are at 1030. So I asked his dad if for two Wednesday's he wouldn't mind meeting at 9am. Well he said no, that he works until 9pm and can't manage to get out of bed for 9am.
I feel like I have literally made this as easy as possible for him, on his schedule at his location but I feel like I am babying him for the reality of parenthood. Things will not be on his time at his preferences, everything from here on out is about Liam. It's about Liam's best interest.
I also don't understand how he can be asking for more responsibility when he can't even manage the three hours a week he has now.
So I've ultimately offered him to join us at the library program, even offering to drive him to and from since he doesn't drive and he's said he'll think about it.
I I just wanted some feedback from other single moms. Am I being too hard on him? Too easy on him? Is it unrealistic to ask a 25 year old to get out of bed by 9am on a weekday to see his son? Am I being unfair by scheduling something at his scheduled time for two visits? (His schedule changes again at the end of the month but this is a 7 week program at the library) Should my son miss out on socializing and stimulating activity because his dad can't get out of bed a little earlier for two days? Any feedback is appreciated and thanks for reading my long rant.
Well in the five weeks that we have been attempting these visits, he's blown off three without valid excuses, refused the make up time I offered, has had two of his buddies that I don't know show up to a visit even though I've asked him to show up alone to see his son, with the exception of his father who I've said could visit one of the three visits per week. When his schedule changed he asked if we could switch locations to a coffee shop that is a 5 minute walk from his house so he wouldn't have to bus. I said sure. Since that he's been late two of the three visits because he can't get out of bed on time (the visits are at 10:30am).
So here's my question. How closely do you guys stick to your visitation schedule? I've been looking into registering Liam for baby time at the local library which I think he will really enjoy and will be good for him. But. For two Wednesdays they fall at the same time as Liam's visit with dad. They are at 1030. So I asked his dad if for two Wednesday's he wouldn't mind meeting at 9am. Well he said no, that he works until 9pm and can't manage to get out of bed for 9am.
I feel like I have literally made this as easy as possible for him, on his schedule at his location but I feel like I am babying him for the reality of parenthood. Things will not be on his time at his preferences, everything from here on out is about Liam. It's about Liam's best interest.
I also don't understand how he can be asking for more responsibility when he can't even manage the three hours a week he has now.
So I've ultimately offered him to join us at the library program, even offering to drive him to and from since he doesn't drive and he's said he'll think about it.
I I just wanted some feedback from other single moms. Am I being too hard on him? Too easy on him? Is it unrealistic to ask a 25 year old to get out of bed by 9am on a weekday to see his son? Am I being unfair by scheduling something at his scheduled time for two visits? (His schedule changes again at the end of the month but this is a 7 week program at the library) Should my son miss out on socializing and stimulating activity because his dad can't get out of bed a little earlier for two days? Any feedback is appreciated and thanks for reading my long rant.