Post by laurawaller on Jan 27, 2015 11:15:44 GMT -5
So as some of you know I had a health visitor yesterday come round to talk to me because I'm classed as a "teen mum". Before hand I had explained to you all how she was patronising and very harsh about what my parenting skills will be as I'm 19 on the phone...
Anyway she came round and yet again was a complete ass ( my opinion) straight away she assumed my SO has had experience with babies as he's older and that I would have none. Which was completely wrong and the other way round. Not to mention the blatant disapproval of our relationship due to the age gap. Throughout the whole conversation she spoke to me like a 4 year old, to the point my SO told her if she didn't start talking to me like an adult that she may as well leave. She then got out a leaflet about adoption!!!! Stating most teen mums put there children up for adoption ext. she explained what she will be doing if I agree to the programme, ie answering all my questions and coming round every two weeks until my baby is 2. That's just a run down of some of the things I can remember. All in all a terrible health visitor and it's safe to say we will not be needing her help.
Post by petrichor14 on Jan 27, 2015 11:19:25 GMT -5
Wow that's awful! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's a shame she's such a condescending bitch, because I'm sure the point of the program is to help younger mothers out and make things easier for them- but why would anyone sign up to be treated that way? Maybe she hates her job and doesn't actually want people signing up and making more work for her?
Post by kristhegirl on Jan 27, 2015 11:23:40 GMT -5
That's even worse than I ever would've imagined. I would be lodging a complaint with the agency! She should not be talking to anyone like that - can you imagine if you were younger, or not in a relationship, and this woman comes around talking down to you and pushing (!) adoption?! Oh, I would be livid. I'm glad your SO stood up for you!
Wow that's awful! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's a shame she's such a condescending bitch, because I'm sure the point of the program is to help younger mothers out and make things easier for them- but why would anyone sign up to be treated that way? Maybe she hates her job and doesn't actually want people signing up and making more work for her?
She said she deals with 13-14 year olds sometimes, so she probably pushes them into the programme. I doubt a 13-14 year old is going to speak up when being so down graded and already feeling vulnerable. It's sad really, because they probably could use the help if it was given professionally and properly. I would maybe even had considered some of the things offered if she wasn't such a bitch.
Wow, just wow! I recall your previous post about this woman. How she continues to keep her job is beyond me. I'm glad you were not alone while dealing with her "visit," and that your SO stood up for you. This woman sounds completely dense and it sounds like nothing you could say to her or show to her would alter her moronic attitude towards you. I think your SO showed great restraint in not physically kicking her bum out the door.
I've seen enough of your posts to know that you appear to have a good head on your shoulders. Forget that odious woman and enjoy this time in your life and the coming of your precious little one.
That's awful. There is a HUGE difference between a 13 or 14 year old than a 19 year old. I don't realy think you should be considered a teen mom, just a young mom, since you are over 18.
BFP#5 11/15/14, Team Caved, couldn't wait... its a girl EDD 7/22/15
BFP#4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan 2014
BFP#3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d
BFP#2 9/23/10, baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP#1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d, D&C 6/29/10
Post by puppygurl21 on Jan 27, 2015 11:50:09 GMT -5
Ugh that's horrible! Sorry you had to deal with her. It's sad though because someone who could benefit from those services might be scared away by her condescending attitude. Her attitude doesn't make sense. If she truly cared about helping and being a support, you'd think she would be encouraging and pleasant.
That's awful. There is a HUGE difference between a 13 or 14 year old than a 19 year old. I don't realy think you should be considered a teen mom, just a young mom, since you are over 18.
I hope you don't have to deal with her again.
Yeah I know, plus she knows I'm going to be 20 before the baby is born anyway, but apparently that doesn't make a difference
Post by slurpeelove on Jan 27, 2015 12:11:53 GMT -5
I'm glad you gave it a chance, but sorry it turned out to be a bust. That woman should seriously reconsider her life choices if she hates her job so much. I wouldn't be using her services either.
That sucks. Well at least now you know she is like in person also. At least you can now deny the program and hopefully she leaves you alone! Good luck!
DX: Unexplained, possible Endo. October 2014: Letrozole + Trigger + IUI = BFP!!! Beta #1: 32 Beta #2: 77. Little Miss E born July 9th, 2015 Previously DarcyHermione
*** Please excuse the typos, my phone hates me***
Married September 14, 2013
TTC #1 August 2014
1st Pregnancy September 2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
2nd Pregnancy October 2014 - July 8, 2015 Due Date!Stick bean, stick!
Wow I'm sorry you had to sit through that. I would definitely try to file a complaint if I was in that situation. I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that, especially if the purpose of the program is to provide support to young moms who need it.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with her attitude. I would seriously consider a complaint to her agency. I can imagine it was hard enough listening to her bull for you. But to imagine her having the same attitude to a younger, more impressionable girl is really heartbreaking.
Sorry that she sucked so much. I hope that not everyone that works for the agency is like that bc I could see her really influencing younger girls decisions. If I were in your position I would consider calling and asking for a supervisor to make a complaint, it could help other girls in the future.
doctaco- that (t*at rocket- I'm on my work computer) may be my new favorite word ever!
OP- I'm so sorry it turned out to be so terrible. Glad you and your S/O stood up for yourselves. You will be fine without her! I would report her to her agency.
Post by dancinbeans27 on Jan 27, 2015 13:35:19 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! I would definitely call and ask to speak to a supervisor, regardless of age no one should be talked to in that way!!
Post by tashala107 on Jan 27, 2015 13:39:32 GMT -5
WOW! As soon as she offended me I'd be quick to and show her the door. If I were you I'd call her agency and voice a complaint. I'm glad your SO spoke up for you.
Post by mischiefmama on Jan 27, 2015 13:45:45 GMT -5
I think it's great you took the time to talk to her and figure out what the program was really about. I'm also happy to hear your SO seems really supportive of you. I'm also happy you're not going to be using her services, you don't need that in your life.
As PPs mentioned, I would file a complaint. 19 is vastly different from 13-14 and making assumptions like she is just makes her look like an even bigger ass.
That's just crazy. I think you were wise to meet with her, but obviously she has nothing to offer you so you can just go ahead and decline. Sorry you had to deal with a judgmental, inconsiderate woman!
That's awful. There is a HUGE difference between a 13 or 14 year old than a 19 year old. I don't realy think you should be considered a teen mom, just a young mom, since you are over 18.
I hope you don't have to deal with her again.
Yeah I know, plus she knows I'm going to be 20 before the baby is born anyway, but apparently that doesn't make a difference
I'm so sorry it was such a disappointment, but am glad you gave it a go so you don't need to wonder if maybe you could have benefitted.
There is such a world of difference between someone still in high school (or whatever it may be called in the UK) and 17-18 or under without a job, and an adult living on their own. My mother didn't go to college and she and my father had me when they were quite young (my mother was 21 when I was born, which is not common among my peer-aged friends/colleagues). Certain things were harder for our family when I was growing up on account of their ages (namely, money, since you tend to make more are you get older), but I love my parents and think they did a great job. And I love that they were so young then, because they are so young now!
This is my long-winded way of trying to say, screw that mean lady. It sounds like you're committed to being a good parent and age is no reason why you won't succeed.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.