Post by spartanchick88 on Jan 27, 2015 12:12:15 GMT -5
As I chase DD through the house trying to force antibiotics down her throat, I suddenly realize that I'm always the bad guy. I have to administer meds to her and the pets, clip nails/claws and all the other unpleasant stuff. It's not that DH won't (he had to do eye drops for the cat while I was away this weekend) it's just that it has defaulted to me over the years because I'm not squeamish maybe?
Who else gets to be the meanie in their home? Why is it that way?
No kids yet, but it will SO be me. Hubs is already such a teddy bear and pushover with the pugs and me, I just know it will be an "ask dad first" situation.
We don't have human children yet, but with the fur babies, I think we share responsibility pretty well... we share walking responsibilities (MH does a bit more than I do since he works from home daily), I tend to be the one who does nail clipping since MH is squeamish, and we together apply the flea and tick stuff.
When it comes to discipline of future kids though, i have a feeling I'm going to be the hard ass and he is going to be the push over...
Post by graysweater on Jan 27, 2015 12:15:01 GMT -5
I have always been the one to do it. My SO will do it if I am gone, but it is usually me that makes the kid take his meds. Now the dog is a different story, that is all SO job.
Post by spartanchick88 on Jan 27, 2015 12:17:19 GMT -5
@kissmyash I have been the disciplinarian from the get go. Fur kids, human kid. Hell, I still put the cats in time out! It's no fun being Mom sometimes. I totally count fur kids in all this too.
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
"Cruel, evil harness mistress" is a nickname that my husband gave me when I was training our cat to wear a harness, so she could explore our yard without getting loose. Now I'm just always the bad guy.
With kids...it'll hopefully be equal? We both have our soft spots where the other will have to be the disciplinarian.
Post by diamondsndaisies on Jan 27, 2015 12:21:13 GMT -5
When it comes to discipline, its DH. I tend to be a little less strict with her but I still do a lot of it. When it comes to the medicine, diapers (when DD was little) bathing, etc. Its always me. When DH and I have a child of our own it might change. DH loves DD like his own, but things are a little different when she isn't his kid.
No kids yet, but it will probably be H. I used to think it would be me until H and I started spending a lot of time with our nephew. H is the super fun one, but the bad guy at the same time. Does that make sense?
Me. I'm the 'enforcer' as DH calls me. My DD knows I mean business. But I also make sure that she knows I can be the fun one too. I keep a bag of candy in my purse. After I've given my stern warning, or have given her a time out, etc. I have one that I give her. Tough love, with a cherry on top (as I call it).
Post by squeakyduck on Jan 27, 2015 12:34:36 GMT -5
It'll be me. MH spoils the dog rotten. When he walks the dog, Brick gets to determine the route. When I walk the dog, we go my way and the dog pouts. When H feeds the dog and the dog doesn't eat, H puts crushed up milk bones on top of the food. When I feed the dog and he doesn't eat, I leave the food in the bowl until he eats.
Maybe I'll make H be the one who always takes future kid to the doc.
No kids yet, but with the dogs it's sort of an odd split. I'm the one who gives them their meds, does all the un-fun grooming stuff and makes them wear a leash when they go outside. H is the one they truly listen to, because he's the strict disciplinarian with them.
I've also decided it will never matter how strict I am with those two furballs, because in the end I'm also the one who feeds them and walks them and takes them to the park, and so they'll never take me seriously. *sigh*
Post by anonymouseliza on Jan 27, 2015 12:41:35 GMT -5
We definitely split it. But with DD, I think I tend to be the enforcer a bit more, if that makes sense. We both give warnings, but I'm typically the one restraining her for a time-out. It's not that DH isn't willing, it's that I'm better at it. He has a tendency to get fed up more quickly, which escalates the situation, or to lecture her (though he's gotten sooooo much better about it), which is ineffective. If I threaten time-out, she stops what she's doing about 70% of the time.
That said, Dh was the one dealing with her last night when she was melting down and refused to sit with me for story-time because of my very mature "Well, fine then. I didn't want to sit with you anyway." statement. So, it goes both ways.
Post by carolinaheart on Jan 27, 2015 12:48:28 GMT -5
We only have furbabies now but I make the rules and he enforces them.
As for human babies I have a very strong feeling that if we have a boy, he'll be the bad guy. If we have a girl, I don't have a shred of doubt that he'd be wrapped around her finger and I'll have to be bad cop.
No kids here... but we have two dogs, plus I get to be the mean one to DH. lol.
I feel that DH and I discipline the dogs very evenly, part of this is because we have the same expectations from them as each other. I don't know how this will translate into having children. I feel like DH could go soft on me at any second, lol.
DH will do the no fun stuff if I ask him, but he doesn't usually just think of things on his own. This includes stuff like meds, brushing, bathing. I cut the dogs hair myself. The smaller dog gets horrible mats that are difficult to stay on top of so there have been times where I just shave him really sort so I don't have to brush him out. I'm talking legs that are 100% matted hair which makes me feel like such a bad mom but he gets matted so quickly! DH will whine about the haircut so I have to gently remind him that maybe if he actually helped me out with the brushing this wouldn't happen. He feels guilty but it has yet to make a difference except for now I don't have to hear him complain when I cut it.
I'm definitely the bad guy with our cats. I trim claws, clean eyes, wipe butts, give meds, and brush. H doesn't want to make them mad at him. He feeds them, and tries to clean the boxes.
Post by jennytwoshoes on Jan 27, 2015 13:33:39 GMT -5
I am the bad guy most things, like for instance home and dog stuff. I pick up the insulin (for the dog), make appointments, call about anything, pay bills, clean bathrooms, etc. I really thought that would carry over to our parenting but I'm totally the parenting pushover and he's the enforcer. It has surprised me.
We don't have kids yet, but I imagine it will be me being the bad guy. I do everything for our dogs, food, walks, vet visits etc. He'll come with me to the vet if I ask and of course will feed them if I am gone. We do tag team the nail cutting, they are so wiggly that it takes both of us, but he does the cutting and I do the distracting, I'm too scared to cut them. He'll do anything if I ask, I just need to get better about asking.
No kids yet but I've already told H that he will be the nice parent. He's very quiet and patient in general. I also work with children and find I "discipline" in a sense already.
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