Adjusting to school/daycare

[pearlvirus]

Up until last week LO was at home with me almost all the time. We've had a nanny come a couple hours, a couple days a week since she was 10 months or so, but it's still always at home. Last week she started Montessori pre-school M-Th for 3 hours in the morning. Today was day 5 and she just starts sobbing the moment we walk in the door. How long is this adjustment going to take? Ugh, it's so hard. She doesn't have to be there, but we thought she might learn to prefer it over sitting inside at home with me and a newborn all winter. Plus I think it'd be great for me and new babe to have some solo time. We've got +/- 8 weeks to figure this out!

[zandeela]

I cant say much about at this age since LO has been in daycare full time since 12 weeks old. But what I can say is that my LO does cry when someone leaves (grandma, DH, Me) at home or with a baby sitter, but it only last for about 30 seconds. Last night when grandma left she cried, but had stopped before grandma even got into her car (we stayed inside). It is hard to leave them when they are crying, but usually most kids stop a few minutes after you are gone. Your LO will come to love being there with all the other kids, it is just a new situation and is reasonable to have some insecurities.

Good luck

[fish8412]

I'm a SAHM and the transition seems a bit much in my opinion. Not being away from you at all to 3 hours a day, 4 days in a row might be too much at first. Can you hold off on school for a few more weeks? It might be easier on LO if your nanny stays at your home for 3 hours and you leave to do errands or something. Try doing this once or twice a week for a couple of weeks. Then start daycare? Could you do daycare twice a week instead of four? And then work up to 4 days a week? I know that the day care may not allow this though. Good luck!

[pearlvirus]

Oh yeah, I've left her for 3 hours plenty of times. Have been since she weaned. She does fine with it. And no, they won't let her do less. The program is very strict. We are already at the least time at school they allow. Some kids are 5 full days! The teacher (whom I have known for many years and trust implicitly) told me they tried doing less than 4 days but they found those kids never got into a routine with it. She also said the adjustment can take up to 6 weeks

[fish8412]

Sept 18, 2015 10:54:30 GMT -5 pearlvirus said:

Oh yeah, I've left her for 3 hours plenty of times. Have been since she weaned. She does fine with it. And no, they won't let her do less. The program is very strict. We are already at the least time at school they allow. Some kids are 5 full days! The teacher (whom I have known for many years and trust implicitly) told me they tried doing less than 4 days but they found those kids never got into a routine with it. She also said the adjustment can take up to 6 weeks

I hope things improve, especially faster than 6 weeks!

[Deleted]

For me, I'd give it another two weeks or so and if the adjustment was still really hard I'd end the program. When I sah with my older boys they all started preschool at 14-20months (depending on their age at the beginning of "school" year.) Those programs were either two or three days for 3-4 hours and that was fine for them to adjust to the program, give them socialization, etc. and me time with the younger/ for errands. Just my .2
Hope it works out!

[lakecountrygal]

I can't say much as DS has been in the same daycare since 6 weeks old. However, he does go through phases where he will freak out at drop off, I think it may be due to the separation anxiety they tend to hit around this age.

[fish8412]

Sept 18, 2015 21:18:13 GMT -5 lakecountrygal said:

I can't say much as DS has been in the same daycare since 6 weeks old. However, he does go through phases where he will freak out at drop off, I think it may be due to the separation anxiety they tend to hit around this age.

Good point. My husband and I think DD is going through separation anxiety right now (with me).

[babycaps]

Miles is now not loving drop off, but then when I get there to pick him up he doesn't want to leave!
He goes through phases.

There is a new 18mo old in his class who is just starting full time daycare after being at home since birth. His first day was rough, you could tell. But it's been only a week and yesterday he was still guarded but not crying and wanted to play!

[fishbulb]

I think your teacher is right on this one. Structure and consistency help a lot at this age. There is a girl in J's daycare who only goes one day every two weeks or so. Poor kid is a hot mess when she is there and one of the teachers has to spend the whole day cuddling her, so the other kids are not supervised as closely as I would like.

[Deleted]

Sept 18, 2015 19:40:49 GMT -5 @pandawatch said:

We transitioned DD from an in home situation with one other kid to a DC when she was 2 years old. I would say the transition took 2-3 weeks, but each week got better until she was like "see ya!" at drop off.

She's 4 now and and it's the best decision we ever made. Her vocabulary exploded within the first few months, and she became so much more comfortable with new people, and learned to socialize with other kids.

Good luck!

We put E in daycare the last week of July, it took him a few weeks to adjust. 

About 2 weeks ago I went in to get him and the teacher told me that he knows 20-30 words - that he never says at home- and that he can do a lot of stuff- that he wont do at home- and its just been all around great for him. 

He has his clingy days, and we all have days we just don't want to go and do our routine. But over all 2-3 weeks and he's all "bye bitches" 

Edit: by the way- E's transition has been so much better than James' pre-k transition. Which is more being socialized related and the struggles and challenges that come with that. 

[newmomma8]

My opinion may not be much help since T has been in daycare since 7 weeks old, but, (go ahead and flame me for this lol), I find that reasoning with T about going to "school" is a lot easier than just trying to deal with the clinginess she gets every now and then.

For example, lately it's her morning snacks. Because I drop her off so early, she gets to bring a snack and juice in the morning seeing as they don't serve breakfast until 7:30. So in the mornings, I pack my snacks for the day in my bag I bring to work and I ask her to pick out her snack and ask if she wants a bag. She grins and thinks it's great because she is getting a bag like Momma.

If you can't do snacks, then I also try other things. On days where she doesn't want to get up in the mornings, I usually play music (she likes to dance), then I ask her to "help" me. She gets all excited and pops up so she can "help" me. So I put her down and ask her to go pick out her outfit for school. She runs to the closet and hits the clothes around on the hangers then points to one and I get it, take it off the hanger and hand it to her.

These may not work in your situation, but things like this have saved us. We really do have a great routine whether DH is out of town for work or home.

I also agree with zandeela, T will boohoo cry when DH or I leave, or even just leave the room, but as soon as you intentionally take her mind off of it, she is 100% ok.

[newmomma8]

So you have an update? How are things going now???

[pearlvirus]

Yes! Something flipped after about 3 weeks of wailing. Now she is totally fine, maybe even likes it!! When we walked in on Thursday she didn't even say goodbye or want a hug, she just got right to "work"! Her teacher even said, she's adjusted so well maybe you want to do full days in the spring... Umm no, but it is a huge relief that she's worked this out before #2 arrives. My only complaint now is the seemingly never ending series of colds she is bringing home when does that lessen?!?

[Deleted]

We are still knee deep in germs- 2.5 months in here. You either do it now, or do it at kindergarten?

[babycaps]

Over a year in and knock on wood, he's hardly sick now days. After he turned a year, it got better. Give it 5-6 mo.

[newmomma8]

T gets the occasional mild cold every now and then. But it just comes with the territory. If I notice she's getting something, I'll usually give her Zyrtec for a couple days and keep it at bay.